Forbidden Love (Forbidden Trilogy) (20 page)

“Well,” he says adopting a proper English accent. “Sex is boring. Fucking is primal, raw, anything goes, messy, gritty, nasty, and the list goes on. Should I continue?” He smirks at me and I want to kiss it off of his freaky face.

“Freak,” I accuse.

“You love this freak. Especially when I make you scream the house down.”

“I love you even when you’re not.” He kisses me briefly before slapping my ass.

“Let’s get you fed so I can have my way with you,” he says. I love that he can put the ugliness of what we’re facing aside and just be here with me in this moment. He’s giving me time to mentally prepare for the shit storm. Literally, the calm before the storm.

“So a little birdie once told me that your favorite food was Italian—chicken parmesan to be exact,” he says as he gathers ingredients from his pantry and fridge.

“Yes, that birdie has a big mouth sometimes, but in this instance, it’s okay,” I reply in reference to Jordan. I watch as he opens a package of boneless chicken halves while finding a skillet to brown it. We talk nonchalantly about some of our favorite past times and places we would like travel. Paris is at the top of my list. He promises to take me after I graduate and I grin like a Cheshire cat. We sip on some expensive white wine and I swear two glasses has me three sheets to the wind. We eat dinner and then Grayson is carrying me to the bed. He removes my clothes down to my bra and panties. That is the end of my recollection of the night’s events.

Grayson sits on the edge of the bed with a tray in his hand. “Wake up love. You need to eat and we need to talk.” I groan before sitting up and he laughs. He runs his hands through his damp hair and I see that he is dressed in business attire. He passes the tray to me and I see that he has made me an omelet, toast, and coffee. I go straight for the coffee so I can fully wake up. I don’t get morning people. “It’s ten in the morning sweetheart.” Oops, I guess I said that out loud.

“So our bubble is over?” I sip on my coffee. I know we need to talk.

“I’m afraid so,” he says as he runs his hands through his hair again.

“Sorry sex didn’t make its way into our bubble last night.”

“Fucking, not sex baby and yeah you were pretty tired. You had a stressful day and needed to rest.”

“And tipsy,” I remind him.

“That too,” he chuckles. “So what do you know already?” His demeanor is serious now.

“Nothing really.” I tell him about the gossip I overheard.

“I’m supposed to be meeting with the dean and department heads in an hour so I’ll know more then. From the message that was left for me, they have photos of us out together. We didn’t really ‘go out’ together here in the city so I’m not sure how incriminating the photos are. Depending on the photos they have, maybe they can be explained as a mere coincidence, but that is why I didn’t want them to have a crack at you first.”

“Don’t you think it will look suspicious that I suddenly get sick at a time they’re looking for me in regarding a potential scandal?” I truly wasn’t thinking about this earlier.

“Maybe so, but I rather that, than have them catch you off guard before we know what evidence they have. You have a lot at stake here.” He gets up and begins to pace. “I’ll find a way to fix this somehow baby. I promise.”

“Grayson, what about you? You have a lot at stake here too. I wasn’t an innocent bystander in this you know. We both knew the risks.” It upsets me that he is harboring this guilt. He didn’t act alone.

“I’m more concerned about your future. I may lose my job, but I’m the senior vice president at a company that I’m the heir to. It would kill me, if I have any hand in fucking up your future.” He walks over to the window and parts the drapes to let the sunlight in. I can see the anger radiating off him in waves. I get up and walk over to him, hugging him around the waist from behind.

“It would hurt me just as much to know I had a hand in causing you to lose your job, regardless of its necessity to your livelihood. Teaching is your passion and your way of giving back.” A tear escapes and the overwhelming fear threatens to suffocate me. He turns and wipes the tear away before pulling me into a hug. He kisses the top of my head and tells me not to worry.

“I will make this right. Please don’t worry. My connections run deep baby. I just need to see what evidence they have first and how circumstantial it is.” He lifts my face and plants a kiss to my lips. “I need to go in for this meeting, but finish eating and get some rest. I’ll be back shortly with more information.”

The bedroom door closes behind him and the inkling of bravery I had leaves with him. I push the tray of food aside and cuddle with the sheets that hold his scent. The tears fall harder now until I’m an outright blubbering mess. Why must life be so fickle? Grayson and I have already been through enough crap just to find our way back to each other again. By God, if there is a scale balancing good and bad—life’s idiosyncrasies, I’m long overdue for a little good to come my way. I deserve to be happy damn it. I love Grayson and I want us to have a chance to work. This whole situation is just so effed up. Whose business is it that we’re seeing each other anyway? I didn’t get any special privileges, if anything he was harder on me.

To make things worse, I don’t know whom to trust. My main suspicion is Vanessa, but still, I can’t discount the others. I can’t afford to let my guard down. I wanted to share my suspicion with Grayson this morning or discuss Vanessa answering his phone, but somehow it didn’t seem like the appropriate time. He just looked distracted and despondent. He’s very intelligent, so I’m sure that he’s already deduced some of the same theories that I have. I’ll wait to see what he learns in this meeting. Hopefully this will blow over. Not likely, but I can still hope. I consider calling my mother now, but again I decide to hold off just a little longer.

I wake to strong arms snaked around my waist. “Wake up love,” Grayson says as he pulls me into him. I turn in his arms and study his face, desperate for any indication that things are going to be okay. Sadness reflects in the depths of cerulean iridescence and I know that any hope of that is lost. He kisses my forehead in the gentle manner he does to inspire comfort, but his attempt is futile. Just give it to me straight.

“What did they say?” I ask. My throat and sinuses are clogged from all the crying.

“It’s not good. They have pictures of you visiting Hotel Bel-Air as well as the Four Seasons along with more pictures of me coming and going. That could have possibly been explained as a coincidence, but more photos were produced of you getting into my car when we were heading to San Francisco and some recent pictures of you here.”
What the fuck?
“Someone has been watching us for a long time baby, gathering evidence. They want to see you by today or they are going to expel you. Apparently, they’ve sent you an email and regular mail requesting a conference. They weren’t fooled by the sudden sickness. I’m so sorry sweetheart.” He makes a move to get out of the bed, but I hold on to him.

“Please Grayson. Just hold me,” I plead. My world feels unsteady under me and I need him to tell me that we’re going to be okay.

He pulls me further into his embrace, but his anguished face belies the remorse that he is feeling. “I’m so sorry I dragged you into this. God damn it,” he booms. He rolls onto his back and he runs his hands through his hair. “Just tell them the truth. I came onto to you at the club. I had to have you. I suggested the arrangement.” It hurts that he can’t see our equality in this.

“Did you tell them about our initial arrangement?”

“No, but I think you should. It will show that I’m a perverted fuck that wanted to use you for sex. Your naivety worked in my favor to use your lust for me against you.” He jumps out of the bed now and I can’t hold him.

“Is that how you feel?” I ask—voice trembling.

“Yes,” he answers simply, but he won’t turn and look at me. My heart slams against my chest at his deleterious words. Why is he trying to hurt me? I can’t be here right now. I’m about to break. I slide from the bed, but he walks out of the room. Fuck him! I quickly dress in the clothes that I came in yesterday that are folded in a chair in the corner. I don’t know where my overnight bag is and I don’t care. I’m getting the fuck away from here. So he’s hurting, I get that, but I am too. I don’t want to call Jordan, but I’ll be damned if I let him or his driver take me anywhere.

I don’t know the address here, so I’ll get it once I step outside. I can call a cab once I know where the hell I am. I storm out of the room, intent on not looking his way. I don’t make it two feet before Grayson is in my path, blocking the door. “Siobhan wait,” he pleads.

“Fuck you, you insensitive son of a bitch. You think you’re the only one hurting and upset? You think you can bump me back down to the status of your casual fuck? If that’s the case, you’re fucking delusional,” I scream. I’m past irate. The f-bombs are a testament to my fury. Grayson charges me and picks me up like I’m weightless.

“You can’t leave me. I’m so sorry. I’m losing my mind because I can’t let my indiscretions touch you.” He pins me against the wall and buries his head against my neck.

“Well, I’m glad you can sum up our relationship as one big indiscretion. Let me make it easy for you,” I hiss.

“No. Shit! I’m not explaining this right. Going into this, I admit… the attraction was purely sexual. I needed to conquer you the same way you wanted to use me as your rebound fuck to get over Liam. I didn’t expect and I damn sure wasn’t prepared for the feelings that you inspired in me. I never expected to fall in love Siobhan. You have to believe me. You have to know what I said in the room before is not how I currently feel.”

He looks up at me and his breath caresses my lips. “I need you to tell them I pursued you baby. I will handle it from there. I’ve already told them as much, but I need you to confirm my account of how we met and got involved. I will make this go away, but in order to do that, I can’t have you trying to save me.” I nod in agreement, but I know that won’t be the case. He wants me to tell the truth and that is exactly what the dean is going to hear. “Please forgive me. I can’t lose you. I’m not upset with you—just myself for not being more cautious for us both. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you because you were my student, but I’m a selfish bastard.”

“If you want me to forgive you, you have to stop with this ‘it’s all my fault’ crap. We both chose to ignore the no fraternization policy for our own self-serving purposes. You didn’t act alone. I wanted that arrangement as much as you did, regardless how it originally regressed.” He stares into my eyes before bringing his face even closer to mine.

“Okay.” That’s it. He doesn’t argue with me. Instead, he captures my lips in a kiss so tender. It is though he trying to express all of his remaining feelings in this one kiss—the pain, the remorse, and maybe even regret. He says that he is going to fix this and I hope that he actually can.

My heart rate quickens as I climb the steps leading to the office of the dean. Grayson had his driver take me home because he had to head back into the office. Neither one of us thought it would be wise for me to show up to the campus in a limo. I told him that I would borrow Jordan’s car instead. She wanted to come with me, but I told her I doubt they would let her come in so I would just see her when I got back. Now as I get closer to the dean’s office, I’m scared shitless. I knock on the door, waiting to enter my very definition of hell. Dr. Geer tells me to come in and take a seat. He is straightforward in his approach. He summarizes that I’m being accused of fraternization with a professor during which time I was his student.