Forever Is Over (144 page)

“
OK
…
I
’
ve never had a three in a bed,
”
Richie whispered,
“
and
before I get too unwell, I
’
d like to have one.
”

When I said anything, I didn
’
t quite mean anything.

“
With me?
”

“
Not with you, Jim, you daft git! Why would I want a three in a
bed with you?
”

“
I
’
ve no idea, Richie! You looked awkward about it! We
’
re very
different, I don
’
t know how your mind works!
”

“
Believe me, my mind does not work in a way that involves having
a three in a bed with my own brother! Who was the third party?
”

             
I pointed upstairs.

“
And what exactly were we going to do, Jim, take it in turns?
”

“
I
’
ve no idea Richie, it was your gig!
”

“
No it was not!
”

Man, did I feel relieved!

“
What has this got to do with me then?
”

“
I need your consent.
”

I didn
’
t understand.

“
What do you mean?
”

“
I want a three in a bed with me, Jemma and Amy.
”

“
My Amy?
”

Richie nodded. Was I hearing this right? Richie was never into
Amy. Just before Amy and I got together he had his chance but he
turned her down.

“
Seriously?
”

“
If it
’
s OK with you, Jim. I
’
ve spoken to Jemma about it and she
’
s not into things like that, you understand, but to grant a dying man his
final wish, she
’
s said she
’
ll go along with it, just the once.
”

It was my turn to feel uncomfortable. I did not like this idea one
bit, but it was Richie, my brother and he was dying. I felt duty bound
to grant him his wish too, like Jemma had, but I could see another
stumbling block.

“
Look Richie, if that
’
s what you really want
…”

“
It is Jim!
”

“
Well, if that
’
s what you really want, I can
’
t say I
’
d be happy about
it, but I would go along with it. The thing is, you may have a problem
with Amy, sex isn
’
t really her thing these days and she
’
s never been into
any kinky stuff, so I can
’
t
…”

Richie interrupted me.

“
Jim, don
’
t worry about that, Amy
’
s fine about it!
”

“
She is?
”

“
Oh yeh, Jemma rang her last week
…”

“
Last week? You didn
’
t know you were dying last week!
”

“
I knew I was ill though. She just sa
id name the time and place and
she
’
ll be there. She said she might have to
have a glass of wine or two to
lower her inhibitions, but she reckons once she has, she
’
ll be fine.
”

“
OK.
”
I said through gritted teeth.

I was furious with Amy. She hadn
’
t even discussed this with me
and she agreed last week! Before the bad news! I knew it wasn
’
t quite
an infidelity, given the circumstances, but she could have at least talked
it through with me first.

I could tell Richie was warming to the idea as he talked about it.
His bald head suddenly seemed to be glowing.

“
So, I was thinking maybe this Friday night, Jim. I
’
m most
comfortable in my own bed, so I was thinking maybe if Amy could
come here. Would you be able to drop her off?
”

“
You want me to be here, Richie?
”

“
Well, I get very tired these days, so I
’
d probably want to get things
kickstarted early in the evening. If I did, our kids may still be up, so
I was thinking you could look after them downstairs. Bring Gracie as well, if you like.
”

The cheeky bastard was asking me to keep his children entertained
downstairs , whilst he kept my wife entertained upstairs! I was beginning
to lose my cool.

“
Hang on a minute, Richie!
”

“
Jim, don
’
t worry, it won
’
t be for long, as I say, I
’
ve never had a
threesome before so I would imagine it
’
ll all be over very quickly. Has
Amy got any sexy underwear?
”

“
Why?
”

“
Well, that could make it quicker again. Also, if you have a Marvin
Gaye CD, bring that, preferably,
‘
Let
’
s Get It on
’
!
”

I knew he was dying. I knew I should
be the bigger man, but I just
could not allow this. Dying wish or not, I
’
d have to live with it forever.
This was too much. It was sordid.

“
Hold it right there! I am not goin
g to let this happen! I forbid
Amy to do this! I know you
’
re ill and everything and you
’
re my brother
and I love you, but this is just totally wrong! It
’
s alright for you, you
’
re
buggering off, but I would never be ab
le to look Jemma or Amy in the
eye again!
”

Richie shook his head and looked at me with disgust.

“
So, you
’
re telling me that you won
’
t even babysit for ten minutes?
”

“
NO!
”

“
Well that
’
s not very fair, is it?
”

“
It
’
s not about the bloody babysitting!
”

“
Well, what is it about then?
”

“
You know very well!
”

“
No, I don
’
t!
”

“
It
’
s about you wanting to have sex with my wife.
”

Richie was non-plussed

“
Well you should have said! If that
’
s whats bothering you, Jim, I
’
ll
just watch Jemma and Amy then.
”

“
NO!
”

“
I could film it, you could watch it later. Balance out the score. I get
to see Amy, you get to see Jemma!
”

“
NO! Richie, don
’
t be so disgusting! You
’
re starting to creep me out
now! I didn
’
t know you were like this.
”

“
Like what, Jim?
”

“
Like a pervert.
”

“
Are you calling me a pervert, Jim?
”

“
Well if the shoe fits
…”

I thought Richie was going to punch me. It felt like that date at Park
Pool when we got kicked out for fighting, like Richie just needed half
an excuse to lamp me. It was like he was looking down on me for not
having the same weird desires.

“
Do you know what I think, Jim?
”

“
Don
’
t say I
’
m a prude, Richie! R
emember when we were the kids,
you were the prude, not me! You were the one into romance when
everyone else was into doing it. Bloody hell, look how things have
changed! Maybe it
’
s the drugs you
’
re taking. Maybe they
’
ve warped your brain!
”

Richie
’
s face broke into a grin so big, if the sun had h
ave shone at
that moment, I would have been blinded
by his smile, rebounding back
off it.

“
I was just going to say, I think if there
’
s a more gullible brother on
this planet, I would be very surprised!
”

I still did not get it.

“
What?
”

“
I
’
m just joking, Jim! Look at the state of me! Bald, skinny, do you really think I
’
d be wanting a threesome in my state!
”

I started to feel a bit of a fool.

“
Well I don
’
t know, do I?
”

Richie came over and rubbed my hair like a Dad would do to a son
he was proud of.

“
Thanks Jim! That
’
s really cheered me up that! Do you really think
Amy would have agreed to a threesome with me and Jemma?
”

             
“
Possibly, if there were a couple of free glasses of wine involved!
”

“
Wait until I tell Jemma! Do you know, I
’
ve waited more than
twenty five years to get you back for all that bedwetting stick!
”

“
Hang on! May I remind you that your wife once broke my jaw!
”

             
“
Oh yeh, she did, didn
’
t she?
”

We continued to joust and laugh about the old times. I went into Richie
’
s house with a deep frown and left with a broad smile. Richie said that the only way he could think of dealing with the illness, was
to find some dark humour in it. Sometimes its hard to find humour in
a joke played at your expense, but I loved this one. It was like the old
days, when we were kids and we had our whole lives ahead of us, if only
that were still the case.

I was shocked by what Richie was saying. We were sat in an
Italian restaurant called the Caf
é
Bar in Ormskirk, discussing funeral
arrangements. By this point, Richie had made the decision not to
have a third session of chemotherapy.
Following the first session of
chemotherapy, he had had a second sessi
on of palliative chemotherapy,
but when a third session was discussed, Richie and I were told the
survival benefits were likely to be week
s or months rather than years,
so Richie made the decision, with my co
nsent, not to have it. Not all
the family supported this decision. Hele
n and Dot, in particular, felt
for the sake of our children, that Richi
e should not be giving up the
fight. I think it was more down to the
fact that they did not want to
let go. I cannot pretend I was delighted with Richie
’
s decision either,
but it was his decision and he felt that he
would rather try to find some
quality in his final days than battle t
hrough them with chemotherapy.
I still think there is no right and wrong dec
ision on this, it is purely an
individual choice.