Forever Is Over (142 page)

“
Honestly son, you could. If you wanted to take the kids to Disney
World, it would be on us. It would be our pleasure to pay for you, Jemma
and the kids.
”

I could tell from the kitchen that Richie was choked but he
maintained his composure.

“
That it so kind of you, Dad and I
’
m really touched that you would
do that for us, but it
’
s just not possible. No travel company are going to
allow me to travel without charging an absolute fortune for insurance.
Anyway, if I ended up in hospital over there, it wouldn
’
t only be
expensive, it would also be traumatic for the kids. Travel has never been
important to me anyway, Dad, family and friends are the important
thing and I am the luckiest man in the world with mine. I just need to
savour every second I have with you all now.
”

I hurried back in with the teapot and mugs. As I did, Charlie
walked over to Richie, stood over him and placed a comforting hand
on his shoulder.

“
I am very proud of the man you have become, Richie.
”

“
We both are.
”
Dot added.

“
You must do what you say though and keep strong, determined and
hopeful,
”
Charlie continued,
“
I hear people recounting stories at church
about friends who have been riddled with cancer, who have ended up
cured by the power of prayer. Miracles do happen, Richie. We don
’
t
know what plans God has for us.
”

I was about to say something but was becoming better as I grew
older at showing restraint. In my feistier days, I would have asked
Charlie what sort of sick God would make a young man suffer like this
and then strip him away from his own family, leaving his wife to cope
alone with two small children. Surely there
’
s a serious design fault there
from the Almighty? Now though, I chose not to speak. To an extent,
if I had spoken out, I could have been accused of hypocrisy as I had my
own, less vocal faith and I was praying regularly myself, pleading with
God to help us. If Charlie was right though and God did have his own
plans for us, was there really any point praying? Did we have the power
to change God
’
s mind?

“
Your Dad
’
s right,
”
Dot added hopefully, planting another kiss on
her son,
“
you need to believe that you will get better. Do everything that
the Doctors tell you and more. Go on to the internet and see if there are
any other cancer sufferers who have overcome the disease and see what
they have done. Leave no stone unturned, Richie.
”

I felt like telling Dot hat she wasn
’
t exactly singing from the same
hymn sheet as her husband! Charlie seemed to be saying put your faith
in God and Dot seemed to be saying don
’
t rely on God, sort it out
yourself! As a couple they had done so much for Richie and I though,
so it would have been inappropriate of me to pass comment. Perhaps I
was being a bit harsh anyway. Perhaps what Dot was saying was, with
God
’
s help and with your own steely determination, there were still
grounds for being optimistic. I poured the tea and tried to temporarily
lift the mood.

“
Were the kids good?
”

Dot immediately brightened up a little.

“
They were excellent, weren
’
t they, Charlie?
”

“
They were great. Our grandchildren always are!
”

“
Jamie spent most of the evening m
aking paper aeroplanes with his
Gran
d
dad,
”
Dot said, now showing signs of a smile,
“
and Melissa and I
played Connect 4. She doesn
’
t like losing, does she?
”

Even Richie now seemed to get a bit
of a colour back in his face.

             
“
No, Mum, she
’
s very competitive! We don
’
t want to teach her that
it
’
s wrong to be competitive, as we think it
’
s a good thing in this day
and age, but at the same time, kicking the Connect 4 over and throwing the pieces around when she loses, which I imagine is what Melissa did,
cannot be tolerated either!
”

“
That
’
s exactly what she did!
”
Dot chuckled,
“
Several times!
”

“
Dot, you should have stopped beating her!
”
Charlie said with a
smirk,
“
I think Melissa gets her compet
itive streak from your mother,
Richie!
”

Charlie winked over at Richie.

“
No, no, don
’
t let her win, Mum! She needs to learn. Fight to win but lose with dignity!
”

“
Well, she
’
s halfway there.
”
I added.

It was left to Richie to round this conversation off.

“
The thing is, Jemma and I are very competitive too. Jemma
’
s had to
learn from an early age that if you don
’
t fight hard in life, there are some
bad people around who will make your life hell. On the other hand,
I
’
ve had a great upbringing but had three siblings to compete against
and then, in my working life, have always enjoyed the battles with other
Managers and other branches. Both Jemma and I, in our very different
ways, are used to coming out on top in the end.

I suppose that
’
s why the cancer diagnosis hurt so much today. We
are used to winning. We are used to overcoming every obstacle, so to be
told that the cancer has spread and that there is nothing more they can
do to get rid of it, well
…
that just feels like the ultimate defeat.
”

It felt like payback time. All thos
e years when I had not managed
to get a girlfriend or had one who was determined not to put out with
me and then became as dirty as a coalminers face after a twelve hour
shift, once we finished. My luck had been so bad, I could have taken
Alanis Morissette to the theatre an
d nothing would have happened!
With Kelly though, things were really taking off. The barriers that she
had initially put up because of previous romantic experiences, had all
come down and when laid bare, both physically and emotionally, she
was one hell of a woman! I was on cloud nine! The paranoid voice in my head kept telling me that sometime soon, someone or something would
come along and push me off it, but I decided that if I lived my life as if
disaster was around the corner, sooner or later it would be, so I just kept
enjoying the moment and the moments just kept coming!

Nine weeks into my relationship with Kelly, my life changed forever.
It was a joyous moment, the proudest moment of my life, but it arrived
into my ears in a less than joyous manner. It was a Saturday morning.
Kelly was in her bathroom in Ealing and I was laying on her bed, naked
and star shaped after a heavy Friday night out and a follow-up sex
session on Saturday morning. If we had sex on Friday night when I was
full of beer and then again on Saturday morning when everything was
still recovering from the previous outing, I could fool Kelly twice over
that I was good at this game! After this particular Saturday morning
session, I watched euphorically as Kelly
’
s naked bottom bounced along
to the bathroom, saw the door shut in front of me, heard the urine jets
go into maximum thrust and then a mi
nute later heard that anxious,
shrill yelp!

“
Oh my God! I don
’
t believe this!
”

As a man emboldened by nine weeks of making love to a bewitching,
fascinating woman, I had this primitive cry down to either being some
kind of post-coital orgasm or I thought perhaps my girth had somehow
managed to damage Kelly
’
s internal lady parts. I was completely wrong!
Kelly opened the door looking panic stricken.

“
What
’
s the matter, gorgeous?
”

“
Roddy, you are not going to believe this! I
’
m pregnant!
”

My son was dying. Life challenges you in all sorts of ways, financially,
emotionally, spiritually, yet we soldier on, making the best of every day
but nothing can ever prepare you for losing a child. I was sixty three
years old, Richie was thirty two
, it did not really feel like he had had a
proper life, just the beginning. To watch as that life was slowly pulled
away from him just felt dreadfully wrong. He should not have been
going to his grave before me. It felt like someone was playing a sick joke
on me and I wanted to tell them to stop, but I couldn
’
t.

As a teenager, Richie had been diagnosed with testicular cancer. He
had a testicle removed but the cancer had not spread and after a scare
that had rocked our family to its foundations, normality prevailed and
Richie went back to living a normal life. He married a lovely girl called
Jemma, who I was wrongly a little wary of at first, because she had had
a chequered past, but Jemma turned out to be perfect for Richie, I could
not have handpicked a better match and they had two children together,
Melissa and Jamie, who are the apple of their Granny
’
s eye.

One rare, sunny summer
’
s evening, I was sat in our lounge watching
Emmerdale when the phone rang. I had been out in the garden earlier
in the evening, doing a spot of weeding, so Charlie had recorded
Emmerdale . I remember I nearly didn
’
t answer the phone as it was all
kicking off in the Woolpack and then I remembered that I could pause
it, so that was what I did. It was Richie.

I recall that he was very upbeat, very concerned about me worrying
too much, but he calmly explained that his cancer was back. This time,
he explained, he had a little bit more of a fight on his hands as the cancer
had spread and was now in his lungs.

“
Don
’
t worry though, Mum!
”
he said to soothe my nerves,
“
With
medical advances, they will put me right in no time!
”

I am a quizzical mother. I am not one to be content with just knowing
the big picture, I wanted minor detail. I asked Richie question after
question about his illness until my thirst for knowledge was satiated.
Richie needed chemotherapy., he was going to Clatterbridge on the Wirral to have it and despite it being what the Doctors called
‘
Stage
Three
’
, the consultant was confident he would beat it.

Once I had acquired enough medical information, I needed to
establish its emotional impact.

“
How
’
s Jemma?
”