Forever Mine Box Set (BWWM, African American, Interracial,and Multicultural) (7 page)

When his ex-wife, Alecia, spilled the secrets of their sexual going on in their bedroom, I was shocked to say the least, especially about my Matthew.

All I ever wanted was Matthew, my prince charming, who would rescue me from the wicked witch Alecia.

It was getting too complicated and I knew it. I needed to graduate from school and find a job to be able to take care of myself. After all, Matthew is ‘seventeen years older than me,’ and these are his words. He could be my father if my mother had gotten pregnant in high school. I made up my mind to continue with my plans I made earlier by calling Seth.

I showered and then text Seth before calling him.

“Seth, I know this is a last minute call, but can I hang out with you tonight?”

“Have you changed your mind about moving in?”

“That’s just what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I had a visit from Matthew’s ex-wife and I’m feeling kind of lonely. I need a shoulder to cry on and a place to stay to cry. Can you stand me for a few nights?”

“Sure. Come over, my husband isn’t here. He’s out of town at a tech convention. And if you still need a job, they are looking for a waitress at the bar in the hotel where I work. You can make good tips there. Nothing cheesy, only rich fucks like your boyfriend dine there.”

“Yes. I need a job and if it’s as good as you say, then I can save a little money and still take some classes at the university.”

“Girl, if I had a hunk like your guy and money to burn, I wouldn’t be looking for a job or anything. I would just sit my pretty ass down and enjoy the spoils of life.”

“See you later,” I chimed in. I wanted to get out before the cook or maid came in. They would tell him that I left with a bag if he asked. But he wouldn’t ask them.

I was lucky to meet Seth. He was handsome and gay, tall and blond, too pretty to be a man, but he didn’t look or act feminine.

I pack a soft bag with night clothes and one change of jeans and shirt, place a note in the bowl so Matt would be sure to see it, and head for the door. I got as far as the door, when I heard his key in the lock and he enters. “Where are you going? I came back early to take you sailing,” he said wearing a dark blue sweater, white pants and his captain’s hat. He looks sexy as hell in his blue and white, and passion and ecstasy ripples through me. 

Looking at him, as he walks close to me, he knows what he does to me when he’s near, where I feel his hardness brushing on my thigh. “You’re not leaving me are you, Amanda?” He’s staring into my eyes and I lock eyes with him. I can’t lie to him not with him so close to me with my heart bursting with love and the anguish of having to leave him.

“I just need a little time away from you. I have to think,” I said to him. I can see that I’m hurting him. He looked lost. But he hurt me too.

“What do you have to think about that you can’t do it here?”

“I had a visit from Alecia.” His green eyes grow dark. He raises his brow and his forehead furrows. “What did she want?” He drops his keys and phone and pull me by my elbow to the living room.

“I have to talk to you. You can’t go until we have a talk,” he says to me, his voice gives him away. He’s worried about what she said.

“I don’t feel like talking now. I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work.”

Standing still not wanting to be near him because I know what will happen next. It always happens when we’re together. He touches me on my breasts. Feels for my nipples, they rise from being near his handsome masculine body, and then he has my panties off, his face between my legs, and I forget what I had to do or wanted to say to him.

Pulling away from him, he extends his long arms and gently reaches for me and I’m in his arms, my head against his chest hearing his heart beat wildly. My bag still hanging over my shoulder. He takes the bag from my arm and places it near my feet.

“Now tell me what Alecia said to you?” He sits and tugs me down in his lap. It reminds me of when I first met him and he let me sit on his lap and watch a movie. This time I’m older and I’m free to be with him anyway I want. But now all I want to do is get away from him, so I can breathe. I look up into his brilliant eyes because I don’t know how to bring the subject up. And Alecia could be lying.

He twists his body under me and he’s breathing hard. I feel his penis and it is full and eager. I’m anxious to get this out on the table but he’s making it hard for me to talk. His hand opens my blouse, and I’m gazing down at his probing hand searching for my nipples. His breathing is definitely increasing and sooner than later, he will have me on the floor fucking me hard, and I won’t be able to resist him.

I surprise him and myself, “Alecia said that you are into bondage and S&M.”

He stops and looks at me and doesn’t say a word. His eyes grow cold. It’s the first time I see that side of him. His eyes stares at me but there’s no light in those eyes. They are hard, cool, and calculating and turning to green ice.

“Is it true? And is that the kind of life you had with her?”

Softly he speaks, “Yes, it’s true, but my past sex life has anything to do with you.”

“Why don’t you try telling Alecia that,” I said my eyes glaring into his. “She says this is what you like. Are you planning on pursuing that kind of relationship with me?”

“Yes, if you let me.” I was surprised he was so truthful.

“And if I don’t let you, then are you going to run to Alecia and tie her up and beat her ass until you come?”

“I would prefer your ass,” he said lighthearted as if it was a joke, shooting a small smile. I narrow my eyes showing my displeasure. “You’re not being fair, Amanda. You don’t understand me.”

“And she does? If you had said something to me maybe I would have tried to understand. But the way it is now, I don’t think I want to understand.” I jumped up from his warm lap and reached for my bag and headed for the door.

“You are being a ...” And he stopped.

“So, I’m being a child again. I’m sick of you and Alecia referring to me as a child. I don’t need you and you can go back to that evil bitch you’ve been tying up and fucking. She’s such a wretch you probably had to tie her up to fuck her, otherwise you would have to masturbate.” If I was being snide and criticizing Alecia, I’m glad. “Now I’m being snarky,” I said to him.

“Don’t go Amanda. We can work this out.”

“I’m leaving and I’ll get my clothes later.”

“Do you need anything?” I raised an eyebrow. “Money?” he clarified.

“I have some but I’ll get a job and make my own.” I closed the door with Matthew looking down at the floor. I didn’t want to leave him like that but I felt I had to.

We both needed time away from each other, and time to think about what we are willing to sacrifice to make this relationship work.

I
did get time to think and I began to question my relationship with Amanda. Is it selfish of me to take an innocent young girl and fashion her into what I want? What is it that I want? I need a family but maybe Amanda isn’t the right person for me. Living in San Francisco has me thinking about my options. I thought I would never consider Alecia’s proposal to return to her and start our life again, but Amanda has made me insecure. I don’t know what to expect from her. I need order.

My marriage to Alecia may not have been the best, but I knew what I was getting and I knew what to expect from her. Amanda is so head strong and unpredictable. One minute she’s all over me giving me parts of her body that I didn’t think she would offer, and the next, she’s walking away from me because she can’t handle my past. I tell myself it’s because she’s a teenager. Nineteen doesn’t make a woman when you realize that yesterday she was just sixteen, and then eighteen with her wild hair and beautiful brown face.

I remember when she made eighteen. I had come in from Hong Kong and brought her some tailored robes, the ones she wears now with me. Even then I wanted her. It was the time when Alecia had gone to Europe with friends and Amanda was home sitting alone in our vast dining room where we held dinner parties.

Standing in the doorway gazing at her, with her beautiful long dark hair that fell in ringlets of curls down her back, that day she wore her hair in a large Afro covering most of her small delicate face. My breathing and heart quickened as I stood gazing at her, not believing my eyes. Not believing how lucky I was to have her in my life. She made me happy when she was a girl and now I desire her in a sexual way as she grows older.

Afraid that it was only my desire of her, I put away my thoughts and walked into the dining room and stood across from her. Her brown eyes shot up and her expression changed from sadness to one of joy. We made each other happy. I felt it and she felt it.

“Can I join you?”

“Oh, Mr. Cross, I’m so glad you’ve come home. I miss you.” I sat across from her and her expressive light brown eyes filled me with love and devotion. I was now devoted to Amanda in all that I do. I no longer wanted the sexual experience I had with Alecia, not the way we had before. I tried to have missionary sex with her, but she insisted that what I needed was what we had been doing before. Tying her up and taking her from behind.

This ended the day I sat down with Amanda and discovered that she was all I wanted and that I wanted to make her mine, forever.

As my thoughts wavered, my chef brought out my food and we sat across from each other and smiling and eating. “Can I tuck you in bed as I did when you were a child?” I asked her after the plates were cleared away.

“But Mr. Cross, I’m not a child anymore.” I knew at that time she was telling me something. “But if it makes you feel better you can think of me as your little girl.” She locked eyes with me. “If you want, we can watch television together,” she said to me.

“I want. I want that more than anything.” She observed me as we walked to the family room. “Do you play video games?”

“Yes. When I’m away to keep the boredom away, I get on there with some friends I’ve met from different countries, and we spend hours in the evenings just playing.”

“Then we can play tonight and tomorrow.”

“Not tomorrow. I leave for France tomorrow.”

“So soon?” I heard the disappointment in her voice, but not half as disappointed as I felt.

“I’m Afraid so.” I wanted to stay there with Amanda, with Alecia gone, take Amanda in my arms and make love to her. I dreamed of being between her legs with me satisfying her. At the time I thought it would only be fantasy, and that she didn’t want me the way I wanted her. But what came next surprised me, and I had put it out of my thoughts until now.

Amanda and I walked into the family room and before I turned on the television she said, “You can’t tuck me into bed. What will the servants think?”

“The servants have left for the night.”

“Oh,” she said. “I guess I can sit on your lap like we used to do. If that will make you feel better. I know you need a hug. It must be awful to come home and there is no one to greet you but me.”

“No, that’s not awful as long as I have you. You see Amanda, I don’t have children and I don’t think Alecia wants children. So I look at you as my daughter.”

“I want to be more than just a daughter,” she says glancing into my eyes. I sat in my wingback chair and she hopped on my lap.

“You’ve picked up some weight,” I say casually placing my hands around her waist.

“The women in my family have large behinds and small waist. I’m a black woman and some of us are built that way. See Mr. Cross, if you weren’t a father figure, I could carry your children. All the children you’ve ever wanted. My hips are built for that.” She stood in front of me to show me. “My breasts maybe a little too large,” she said bending forward. They would smothered a baby if I gave them one to suck.” I laughed and she laughed.

We had bonded and she looked at as her friend. Someone to share stories with, I thought, until I drew her to me and sat her again on my lap. Looking into her eyes, I placing my hands on her breasts, she didn’t flinch or remove it. She just leaned forward and pulled one breast out of her bra, and I lowered my head and sucked her nipple. Her hand caressing my head as I held her on my lap.

The crown of my cock pulsating, waiting and wanting to be inside of her as it grew and grew from want and need for love from Amanda. I wanted more from her but I wouldn’t cross the line and she knew that we couldn’t.

With her hand she gently removed her nipple from my mouth, as she had softly given it to me to satisfy a need she thought I had.

Amanda gave me what I had given her in her youth, comfort and love, and that was the only thing she thought she had to offer, and it was all I needed at the time—her love, her devotion, her desire for me.

Now all that is gone, and she took that away from me, and I have to figure out how to get her back.

L
iving with Seth was the best decision I ever made. I have a job now and I have plans for my future I didn’t have before. I’m working as a cocktail waitress at a fancy hotel. Seth is a part time pastry chef there. He works to have something to do when he’s not taking classes and he’s saving to open his own restaurant one day. We have different hours but he manages to pick me up on weekends.

I had to turn off my phone because Matthew has been texting me like mad every day, asking me to come home. It’s been only a week since I’ve been working and I’m just getting the hang of this job. It’s at night on weekends and after semester brake I will work around my classes. The tips I get working at this hotel bar is fabulous, and it is just as Seth said, and I love the work and I love the people I work with.

“I’m the only black girl working in a sea of white girls my age. I suspect that if Seth hadn’t recommend me, I wouldn’t have gotten this job because I knew nothing about drinks before now. An advantage is, I get better tips and offers for a date. I have my mind on Matthew and I can’t think of anyone else now.

Because I’m a quick learner, I read a beverage book and what I couldn’t get from it, I Googled the rest. I got a good education on how to garnish drinks. I hope with that, and my degree in education I won’t be homeless.