Forget Me Not (3 page)

“
Right. Your classes start
later than mine. Lucky,” I pout.

“
You’ll be fine. What time
is your first class?”

“
8:30, which is a
ridiculous time for any class. I met some people and we’re having
breakfast first.”

“
See? You are already
socializing.” His smile lights up my computer screen. It hurts
because he’s just an image, not flesh and blood beside
me.

“
I miss you,” I confess.
“It actually aches.”

“
I know. But it’s only
during the week and once classes start...”

“
Yeah,” I agree, refusing
to ruin our conversation with sadness. “So how’s Jon?”

“
Ask him yourself.” He
calls Jon over to the computer and my brother appears onscreen. As
always, Jon looks happy just to be alive. His smile reminds me of
home and I feel homesick now, on top of missing my
boyfriend.

“
Hey Lily,” Jon
says.

“
You’re doing a good job
making your room not look like Alcatraz. Sorry I am rendering your
roommate useless.”

“
He’s useless with or
without you,” Jon jokes. “Get some sleep tonight, okay? Make sure
you start out right.”

“
You know I’m almost
nineteen, Jon. I’m not in elementary school!”

“
No, but you want to keep
your scholarship and staying up all night the first night
isn’t-”

“
Jon, it’s like nine
o’clock.”

“
Still.”

“
Also, the two of you are
lucky to even pass classes. Stop acting like a douche. I’m not your
kid sister anymore, okay?

“
You’ll always be my
little sister. And this one best remember it.” He smacks Derek in
the back of the head and I smile, watching them mess around. My
brother and I have always been close, so I worried about Derek and
me, but he’s been supportive. I wonder what will happen if we don’t
work out, though. I shake my head; there is no reason even to think
about such things.

“
Seriously, Lily, get some
sleep,” Jon says. “He’ll keep you up all night if he can. I will
see you soon.” He leaves the screen. I want to ask him to stay, to
ask if he felt homesick, but as close as we are, he’s still a guy.
He doesn’t share feelings and he’ll probably just tease me for
being emotional.

“
He’s gone for a bit,”
Derek says. “But he’s right. I don’t want to screw up your first
day. I know you have classes tomorrow, but we will talk after
dinner?”

“
Yeah, call me. I like
talking to you on the phone. Besides, then I can-”

He laughs. “Yeah, I know. I remember a
certain night last fall. I know exactly what you can
do.”

“
It’s all for you,
Derek.”

“
What about tonight? Any
plans?” His voice is teasing and I feel the tingling between my
legs in response.

“
Well, do you have a
minute?”

“
I certainly do,” he says
and, although I can’t see it from this angle, I know he’s reaching
for his zipper.

“
You know my pussy is wet
just thinking about you?” I reach between my legs, sliding my hand
up under my nightshirt, and tease my clit while I watch his face
react to what I’m saying.

“
Are you touching
it?”

“
I am. What are you
doing?”

“
Missing you.” I can see
his arm moving, but it’s his face that identifies just what Derek
is doing. He closes his eyes and lets out a soft groan. I imagine
him stroking himself and think of earlier this evening.

“
Keep thinking about
putting that cock inside of me, Derek.”

“
Oh, Lily, you’re so
fucking tight. I want to fuck you right now.”

I move my fingers faster, slipping two
inside of myself and I watch Derek jerk off. His eyes stay closed
while he says my name, but it turns me on to see what he’s doing. I
think of riding him and how good his cock feels inside me, and how
big it is when he’s hard and ready. I wish I could see it, but the
fact that I can’t almost makes me hotter. I come while I picture
him fucking me and then I just enjoy watching him finish. After
he’s done, he looks a little embarrassed but I smile.

“
That was hot.”

“
It’s still not the same
as being with you,” he says.

“
I know, but you know I’m
all yours.”

“
Good. I will be sure to
enjoy you this weekend, but get some sleep tonight. I love you,
sweetie.”

“
I love you.”

We log off and I turn off my computer.
I should go to sleep, but I’m restless. It isn’t late and I don’t
know what to do with myself. I could decorate, but my energy is the
kind that makes you tired at the same time you want to run a
marathon. The school hasn’t set up our cable yet either, so I can’t
even watch TV. I consider going for a walk; Kristin comes back in
as I am debating.

“
Hey, you should have
come. It was great,” she says. “Everyone’s really
chill.”

“
Sorry, I’m
just-”

“
Yeah, I get it. I saw
him,” she laughs.

“
I swear I’m not that girl
who ditches everything just because she has a boyfriend, but I miss
him a lot.”

“
It happens. I don’t have
a boyfriend, but it’s hard enough starting over without one. I can
imagine what you must be feeling.”

“
It sucks,” I admit. “But
I’m not here for that. I just need to remember it.”

“
Right. Classes tomorrow.
Yay. When’s your first one?”

“
First thing,” I
sigh.

“
Sucks. Me too, though, so
we can get up at the crack of dawn together. Look, I was gonna
check Facebook and then take a shower. Will I be bothering you if
you’re going to sleep?”

“
No, I’m fine,” I say and
I wonder why I feel so sad when she leaves the room. I crawl into
my bed for my first night as a college student. Nothing has
happened, but something feels so wrong. My body is tense and I wish
I could shake the bad feelings that are hovering. This is supposed
to be a good experience. I just need to stop overthinking
everything.
It’ll be
fine
, I tell myself as I fall
asleep.

Chapter 2

In some ways, Derek was right; I am so
busy that I don’t have much time to worry about anything other than
getting to class and getting the work done. Oh, and finding my way
around. However, in other ways, I am so homesick it hurts. Kristen
and her friends have been great, helping me out, inviting me to
meals, and just being overall perky and welcoming. Still, they
aren’t Abby or Jon and they certainly aren’t Derek. So, when Friday
comes and Derek texts that he is on his way to campus, I am ready
to jump out of my skin. It is not even a sexual thing. Yes, I
cannot wait to be with him, but my first thoughts are about having
someone to talk to, someone to whom I can confess my sadness.
Traffic is apparently bad, though, because it takes him three hours
to make the trip and, by the time he gets there, I am in a
mood.

“
What the hell?” I
snap.

“
What do you mean, ‘what
the hell?’”

“
It took you three
hours!”

“
There was a huge
accident. Check online,” Derek replies.

“
I don’t want to check. I
can’t believe you took so long.” I am being whiny and unbearable,
but I missed him so much.

“
Lily, stop it. I’m here,”
he says and holds me. I fall into him and the week and my confusion
and my sadness are washed away. I seriously regret choosing a
different school than him, but a part of me still insists on being
independent. It’s not working, though, because I’m being the clingy
and bratty girlfriend I always promised myself I wouldn’t be. I
don’t know what is driving me to act like this.

“
I’m hungry,” I complain,
trying to change the subject but my mood is not entirely back to
where it should be.

“
Yeah?” He is smirking,
but I shake my head.

“
Not for that. Well, yeah,
for that. But actual food first, okay?”

“
Oh okay. Where
to?”

“
How about the cafeteria?”
I promised to bring him by to meet everyone and, although I would
prefer to keep him all to myself, I’m making an effort to belong. I
also don’t want to go too far, because I want time in my room
tonight with him.

“
Perfect.” He kisses the
tip of my nose. “Lead on, my lady.”

“
Cute.”

The cafeteria is surprisingly empty
tonight, but I’d heard a lot of people on my floor talking about
going home for the weekend. Some of the older students seem smarter
than us freshmen and only moved a few things in for the first week,
opting to make another trip this weekend. I hadn’t been aware that
it was an option, although I am thankful that I did not plan to go
home; this way I get alone time with Derek.

Everyone but Caitlin is already at the
table after we get our dinner, which appears to be a chicken-like
substance. Probably what originated as that chicken and broccoli I
was so excited about days ago. Kristen is arguing with Lyle about
some movie, Don is eating, and Mary and Ethan are engaged in low
conversation.

“
Hey guys,” I say. “This
is Derek. My boyfriend.”

I see Mary give him an appreciative
once over and I know she feels satisfied she no longer has to worry
about Ethan. Clearly, I am not going to give up Derek easily. Of
the entire group, she has been the hardest to win over and I hope
this means she’ll be nicer. Since the first night, there has been a
nonstop vibe between us and I don’t like it.

“
We’ve met,” Kristen
says.

“
Nice to see you again,”
he smiles.

The introductions are made and
conversation turns to the weekend. Kristen agreed to stay with
Caitlin this weekend, since Mary is staying with Ethan; his
roommate is going home.

“
We’re all going to the
movies tomorrow night,” Lyle says. “You guys should come with us.
It’ll be fun.” I debate. I want to be social and make new friends,
being a part of this college life, but I also do not want to give
up time with Derek. I look to Derek, but he doesn’t address the
invitation, leaving it up to me. I haven’t actually socialized with
my friends yet, our interactions consisting of school and meals
only, but I really don’t want to give up even a few hours of
Derek’s company.

“
I think we are going to
stay in; it’s been a long week,” I say. I have all week to spend
time with everyone but only a couple of days with Derek. “I
wouldn’t be much company.”

“
Next weekend - you will
hang out, right?” Don asks.

“
Maybe. It
depends-”

“
She will,” Derek says. “I
won’t be coming down next weekend so she will have plenty of free
time.” This is the first that I’ve heard of him having other plans,
but I don’t want to fight in front of my new friends. As soon as
dinner ends and we are on our own, though, I bring it
up.

“
I thought you promised
every weekend,” I complain. It was one of the reasons I chose a
different school. I imagined we would focus on academics during the
week and then we’d spend time together every weekend.

“
Mostly, but I want to
spend some time at school, too. A few guys asked me to play rugby
and I said I would think about it. Next weekend are the
tryouts.”

“
Does that mean you will
be at games or whatever every weekend?”

“
Matches, but I don’t know
yet. I didn’t really have time to investigate. It came up last
night and then I left today as soon as classes ended. I just
thought it’d be nice to get involved in something.”

I pout, but Derek just puts his arm
around me and we walk in silence. When we are halfway back to the
dorm, he turns me to face him and his lips touch mine. The soft
kiss becomes hungry and he slips his hands under my shirt, moving
them slowly up my back. The feeling of his fingertips on my spine
is distracting, and I let the rugby discussion go. He didn’t come
up here to fight.

“
I missed you,” he
says.

“
Me too. So much,” I say,
between kisses.

I forget the argument and we rush back
to my dorm, our hands already out of control on each other’s
bodies. I lock my door and Derek pulls my clothes off as I walk
toward the bed. I stand in the middle of my room, naked, waiting
for him to undress, and I feel complete. His body is still an
amazing thing to me, because Derek is everything I ever wanted.
Being able to see him like this only makes him more perfect. He
pulls me close and he is already hard. I want to be with him, to
feel him inside of me, but I wait to savor his touch and the
moment.

He teases me, light brushes of his
fingers moving along my legs and thighs, but he does not grow more
insistent. I can tell it is taking a lot of self-restraint on his
part, since his cock looks ready to pop. I reach for it and begin
to stroke it slowly, my fingers brushing the tip, and I watch him
try not to ravage me. Kneeling down in front of him, I put my lips
over the head, my tongue running under the edges, then up and down
the shaft. He moans and I dig my fingers into the flesh of his ass,
feeling him tense, trying to control his lust.