Forsaken (Fated Saga Fantasy Series Book 8) (16 page)

The one constant in all her memories… her parents adored her. Doted on her. And thought they’d be around much longer. They hadn’t expected age to catch up to them so suddenly. They’d lived almost two hundred years. Is that how long she’d live as a vampyre? What a strange thought.

Her parents had moved around a lot. And trained her never to use magic outside of their home. Told her never to trust anyone, and never tell anyone their secret. Ever.

Maybe even though her memories had been stripped from her, some of the residue remained behind. She’d never trusted anyone, maybe this is why.

And the time leading up to her parent’s deaths was exactly like Fazendiin has explained it to her. All he’d told her matched with the memories she was getting back. As her first month with him came to a close, all she could think was,
what now?

She didn’t actually belong with the Svoda, but they were her family. They had raised her as one of their own and were good people.

But if they ever found out who she really was…

And Eddy… Juliska very much still wanted to spend her life with him.

The question she did not dare speak aloud: how would Eddy react to this revelation? Would he still accept her for all she was? And what if she did live to be two hundred? She’d lose Eddy long before then. She’d lose her life with the Svoda too. If she stopped aging she’d only be able to hide it for so long.

And what about her mother? Or Banon Havelock? Or PanSofia, her mentor.

Her gut told her yes, they’d accept her, but little seeds of doubt popped into her thoughts. What if they didn’t? What would become of her? Would she be damned to live her life alone? Until her vampyre side finally gave out and she died.

She wanted so desperately to go home.

And today, it was the last place she could go.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Month Two…

Juliska awoke in an agitated state of mind.

She was allowing herself to get too comfortable here at Fazendiin’s estate.

This was a mistake. Letting her guard down and getting too cozy in a place she didn’t want to be was a mistake. Period.

True, she might need to be here right now, but she didn’t have to enjoy it. Or get acclimated.

“Okay, just remember this. I’m here and I can accept that, but don’t get too comfy. And just because I am descended from the same clan as him, we’re not really family. I don’t owe him anything…” Her breath caught.

Why had she just said that?

Where had that idea come from?

She realized this is what had kept her from sleeping well the previous night. This feeling welling up inside her. All the emotions from getting back her memories… a sense of owing Fazendiin for helping her parents, regardless of his reasons for doing so.

She did not like to owe anyone. For anything.

Since she wasn’t sleeping she got up and dressed, deciding to go out for a walk. It was peaceful here. With no one to bother her. Or ask her for help or to
see
something for them. She could walk anywhere she wanted without getting hassled. She never realized that this had stifled her daily routine before this last month. She never realized how imprisoned she felt on the island, until being away. Regardless, it was not enough to keep her away from her home. Only made her realize she needed to make some changes, if she ever got to go home…

“Oh, good morning, Miss.”

Juliska looked up to see the caretaker. “Hello, Basil.” She’d come to like the old man. He was kind and had a pleasant smile whenever he greeted her. “Kind of hard to believe the crispness in the air this morning.”

“Sign of the season. Summer is winding down.”

“Yes, I guess it is.”

He turned a bucket over and motioned for her to join him. She took a seat.

“Thanks. What are you working on this morning?”

“Oh the usual, bit of weeding and harvesting. And at the moment, much more importantly, coffee…” he turned around and grabbed a thermos. “Cup?”

“Sure.”

He poured her a cup, the warmth warmed her chilled fingers.

“Basil, if you don’t mind my asking, how long have you worked here? Or lived here, or…” she bit her lip in apology if she was being too personal.

He laughed. “For you my dear, I’ll answer anything.” He shot her a wink.

“It’s just… this place, you don’t seem to fit here. Or maybe you do…”

“Feeling a little confused?” he asked her.

“My views of the world feel a little skewed at the moment.”

He nodded. “To answer your question, I’ve been in the service of the Master here for over fifty years now.”

“Oh, that long?”

“Yes. And I would not change a thing. He gave me a new outlook on life at a time when I was ready to give up. Keeping up this place gives my life meaning. And I respect the man for the way he lives.”

“Are the other Grosvenor like him?”

Basil sucked in a breath and let it out slowly.

“Yes, and no. They have similar ways of thinking and common goals, but to my knowledge the Master here is the only one living like this. Embracing life. Embracing the future.”

“So he really sees all of this,” she waved her arms about, almost spilling her coffee, “as part of his future.”

“Protecting his future. Nourishing it.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“I’ll be perfectly content to spend the rest of my days here. Honestly, I don’t know what the Master will do once I’m gone.”

“He’s not lazy, I’ll give him that,” said Juliska.

“No. Something else I respect immensely.” He grinned kindly at her. “I know this all must be very trying on you. Being yanked out of your life, shown everything about your past… his intentions are good.”

Juliska eyed Basil with a humored leer.

“He gets things done, he’s not so concerned about being tactful about it.”

“I’ve heard that one before…” Juliska got up and handed him his mug back. “Thanks, Basil. Have a good day.”

He nodded and continued with his work.

Juliska continued her meandering. Basil had not helped her skewed thoughts become any clearer. If anything, he’d made them even more confusing. He was such a kind man, and thought highly of her captor.

She was struggling with considering him this now. Her parents had asked all this of him and he was obeying their wishes. It was hard to feel anger toward that. But she was not free to go home, so this still made him her captor.

After another hour of wandering outside, she landed back inside and went to her room. There was a package sitting her on bed. It seemed odd, seeing as it could only be from one man. Why bother wrapping it and giving it to her like this?

There was a letter with it.

Juliska,

Your mother asked me to find a copy of this book for you. Come see me later and I’ll tell you more.

J. F.

She picked up the book and unwrapped the covering.

“The Firemancer’s Pocket Guide.”

She flipped through the pages, befuddled by all the spells she’d never heard of. Could she really do all this as a Firemancer? She’d only been taught to
see,
and to defend herself if the need arose. Which apparently, with her current living conditions, she did poorly. In school, she’d learned basic magic, like all other students, but she’d never excelled at it.

Her mentor, PanSofia, had told her she possibly never would being that her gift took precedence. It was where her true talents would be found. But her mentor had never once taught her anything like what she was seeing in this book. Perhaps she did not know any of these spells. PanSofia was not a Firemancer after all. She was a Watermancer, and used the element of water for her visions, not fire. So maybe her knowledge was limited in regards to Firemancy.

Juliska did not know any other Firemancers. She’d never even thought to question if there was more she could learn. She spent the day reading each page until she’d reached the end. There was so much she didn’t know. So much she was suddenly eager to learn.

On the last page, an envelope slipped out, falling on the floor. It had been stuffed into the back of the book. Juliska leaned over to pick it up. It was blank on the outside so she opened it.

There was a letter inside.

To my daughter…

Juliska stopped reading and held her breath. Her birth mother had written this before she died. She closed her eyes almost afraid to read it. She imagined a thousand times, finding something like this. Some lost thing that would tell her something, anything about her past.

She’d always insisted she didn’t care.

But now that she had this letter in her hands she was scared, and eager.

What would it say?

What words of wisdom would her mother pass along?

She opened her eyes and started again.

To my daughter…

If you’re reading this, then you survived, and are now old enough to understand.

I am sorry this is the manner in which you had to live your life. Your father and I wanted the best for you, so we did what we thought was right.

I hope it turned out that way.

I hope you are happy. And safe. And loved.

I’m sorry I will not be there to help you grow up. And will not be there to see you get married, or have a family. But our hearts are always with you.

I was not a Firemancer. Your host may have told you this already. The gift skipped me, and your grandmother. Your great grandmother, also named Juliska, and who you were named after, was the last Firemancer in the family. I knew shortly before I died that you would be too. I had little time to prepare, and left it in the hands of your gracious host to locate this book and asked that he assist in your training. If, when you arrived back in his care, you had not so been trained.

I will leave this life knowing I have done everything within my power to give you the life we could not, and giving you all the knowledge to help you survive.

Your father and I love you so very much.

She couldn’t read anymore.

A wet droplet hit the letter, threatening to smudge it. Juliska wiped it off before it could do any damage. Tears fell down her face, she couldn’t help it. All the memories and now this… it was like hearing her mother’s voice and seeing her face as she read it. Like she was here in the room with her, even now.

More than anything, it made everything she’d discovered since she’d been taken, real. It was all true. Any doubt she’d had, vanished. Her parents really had set all this up for her. Even though Fazendiin was
family,
from the same clan, they had asked she grow up with the Svoda, around magic. And he’d graciously obliged their request and took it upon himself to fulfill their wishes on her behalf.

Could it be he wasn’t the monster she’d always believed?

He’d done some bad things.

So had the Svoda.

Neither side was perfect.

She wiped her eyes, cleaned herself up and headed downstairs for dinner. She was suddenly famished and realized she hadn’t eaten since early that morning. She entered the kitchen to see Fazendiin cleaning his dish.

“Ah, good. You got my gift.”

“Yes. Um, thank you.”

“I shouldn’t call it my gift. Your mother wanted you to have it. It took me a few years to track down a copy.”

“Still. You did, so thank you for doing that.”

“Dinner’s still warm on the stove.”

She grabbed a bowl and a chunk of bread and ate heartily.

“We will start tomorrow,” Fazendiin told her bluntly.

She didn’t need to ask what he meant. “Good. I want to learn everything. There’s so much I don’t know.”

“Not for long.” He grinned, leaning back in his chair.

If she’d looked up from her bowl, she’d have seen the gloat in his eyes. The satisfaction in his smile. All which claimed…

She’s predictable.

Eager and willing.

Making her
own
choice… feeling a moniker of control, and freedom.

Everything that will make Juliska Blackwell, mine…

CHAPTER TWELVE

Month Three…

Weeks later, after a long day of learning spells from her new book, Juliska fell onto her bed, exhausted, exhilarated and nervous. Tomorrow, Fazendiin wanted to move forward and teach her a few things not in the book. Using her powers to dual…
him.
He’d told her if she could master her powers and fight against him, and win, she’d earn a prize.

“My freedom?” she jested.

He hadn’t answered aloud, only grinned.

She’d never win a battle against him, so it didn’t matter. Even with all he’d taught her in the previous weeks, it would take her a lifetime to get that good. Maybe longer.

She sat up and shivered. Autumn was here, she could feel it in her bones. And the chill came into the estate and got stuck inside.

“Nothing a hot bath and a roaring fire can’t take care of.” She hopped up and walked over to the fireplace. She stocked it high with wood and then shot a spray of flames out of her palm catching it afire. It would be toasty by the time she got out of her bath- a vision took her.

Her first in months.

She fell to her knees, soaking it all into her mind.

It ended a minute later, leaving her dumfounded and speechless.

She got up off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed.

She’d just had a vision of a woman believed dead.

Isabella Crane… late wife of the carriage driver, Ian.

It made no sense.

“She’s dead, so why did I just have a vision of her still alive? And about to give birth?”

Juliska shook her head, puzzled. It’s possible this vision was from the past, and perhaps Isabella was about to have her son, Ivan. Such an odd thing to have a vision of, but Juliska was used to visions that didn’t always make sense right away. She’d just have to wait and see if she had any others to help explain.

#

Juliska met Fazendiin in the room he’d set up to train her. But it had changed today. Gone were the tables, tinctures, cauldrons and other things they’d been using. Now, it was a big open space.

“He really means for us to battle each other.” There were mats lining the walls, but not the floor. She swallowed nervously. A bout of nausea suddenly overcame her and she pressed her hand against her stomach.

“Are you feeling well this morning?” Fazendiin entered the room.

“Um, yeah. I’m fine.” She let go of her stomach but it took another minute for the nausea to fully go away. This wasn’t the first time it had happened and she doubted it would be the last. Although she could not figure out exactly what was causing it.

“Good.” He strode by her, turned to face her and inhaled deeply, readying himself to train Juliska how to duel. He paused for a moment. There was something different in her blood. A faint smell, something new.

Fazendiin raised a hand and made a motion Juliska did not notice.

A blink later, she was falling to the floor. But before she hit, Fazendiin snatched her up into his arms and swooped her out of the room. He placed her on a sofa in his study. He noted his mother watching from behind him, from her stained glass prison.

Fazendiin closed his eyes and placed his palm over Juliska’s body. He stopped, an inquisitive look on his face.

“An interesting development.”

He stood and paced around his study. Juliska would not wake until he’d allowed her to. He needed to rethink everything. His move had just been blocked and he needed to reconfigure his strategy.

Juliska Blackwell was pregnant. No doubt that man she was in love with. Eddy…

This was not a contingency he had planned for, at least not this soon. It was maybe too soon. And yet, possibly perfect. He glanced back at her.

Something was off about it though. The pregnancy wasn’t moving forward, almost like it was stuck… in transition…

“Like her…” he muttered. He glanced up at his mother. “Seems I’ve made a fortuitous faux pas. Or a terrible mistake…” He laughed. His mother did not.

“No doubt, Son, you’ll just reconfigure your scheme to make it work to your advantage.”

“You know me so well, Mother.”

Yes. I do…
she thought to herself. Had the moment actually begun? The moment she’d given up her life for? The moment the false prophecy had been created for, knowing her son would not be able to resist the temptation to control it. She dare not hope.

“It would appear that when I first took Juliska, she had already, or was about to, conceive a child.”

It was a good thing Aloyna was stuck in stained glass, or her legs might have faltered and she’d have fallen over. Her son had done it,
maybe.
Taken control of the prophecy of the three immortal children.

Juliska Blackwell was immortal now. She didn’t know it. It had been done to her when her son had brought her here. The real reason she’d slept for days, not some charm to release her memories. That, her son had timed to his advantage. But it took time for the body to catch up with the immortality. The change was not instant. It took weeks for that kind of power to take over, completely.

And depending on whether Juliska had already conceived her child before her son had made her immortal, this child could be the first of the three immortal children her son would try to assume control over.

Aloyna had no living heart, but the pain of it all sliced though her just the same. This poor woman, Juliska’s entire life based on a lie. What her son would do to her… had already done to her… and now to her child… for a moment she was filled with great regret. And doubt. Perhaps this whole idea had been a mistake. So many lives disrupted. Ruined. All for what? To make sure her son did not succeed in his plans.

He was a patient man, if nothing else. Willing to sit back and let time pass, to wait years for this little girl, Juliska, to grow up. To wait hundreds of years for the perfect combination of events to align; to believe he was in control of this prophecy. That he would actually control the three immortal children… but for now, she could only do as she’d been doing.

Wait.

Watch.

Listen.

Wait…

She had to hold tight to her belief that she’d done the right thing. Yes, some would suffer. Some would die. But it was the only way to take her son and the other Grosvenor out of power, permanently. And bring true balance back to the world of magic.

Fazendiin stood over Juliska’s unconscious body peering down at her like a child who’d just stolen a piece of candy.

“What to do, what to do?” he pondered. “And why is the pregnancy on pause? It must have something to do with the time of conception and when I made her immortal.” He stood and paced around the room, wondering how long it would take the pregnancy to get out of this stuck position and move forward. He wondered what would happen to the child, immortal or not, stuck in a stasis like this.

And if the pregnancy survived and moved forward, how would he be able to tell if this child was immortal? If it was, he needed this child to live. If it was not, well regardless, he could not allow Juliska to keep this child.

“But I’ll have to do it just right…” Already, the outlines and variables of a dirty scheme unraveled in his mind. How to use this pregnancy to his advantage, to affirm Juliska Blackwell as
his
.

He could not rush this.

And it meant keeping her around longer than he’d first thought to.

But he needed more time.

More time to see if the pregnancy moved forward. More time to figure out the best way to get the child out of Juliska’s care and exactly where he needed the child to be.

She would not realize she was pregnant for some time yet. He didn’t think.

His sense of smell was keen and practiced. Hers was not.

And at this point, although she should easily be around upwards of eight to ten weeks pregnant, her body was acting like the moment had just occurred. He wondered if the entire pregnancy would stay so slow. Or if it would suddenly kick in like a normal pregnancy. And just why the process of making her immortal had created this strange side effect.

It shocked him, that even after all his long years of life and planning, that unexpected things like this still caught him off guard. But it’s also what made him different from the others like him. He rolled with it. Changed with it. Accepted and adjusted his plans accordingly. The greatest plans will always go awry. The key was to strategize all over again, fast. Accept the new normal and go with it.

But what to do with Juliska now? He didn’t want to chance losing the child, so dueling was out of the question.

He snapped his fingers and Juliska’s eyes fluttered open. She sat up slowly.

“How did I get here?”

“You fainted. I carried you here.”

“I fainted?”

“Yes. How are you feeling?” 

“I was feeling fine right until… until I guess I fainted.”

“And now?”

“Okay. A little tired. I don’t know why.”

He eyed her with a stern, but incredulous look.

“I have been burning the candle at both ends,” she admitted. “Almost literally, practicing everything in Firemancer’s Pocket Guide.”

“I have the burnt candle stubs to prove it,” he jested with a tight grin.

She sat up and got her feet onto the floor. A wave of dizziness swept through her head, but cleared a second later.

“I think we will postpone,” said Fazendiin. “At least for any sort of combat or battle training. Just until you feel recharged again. Perhaps I’m pushing you a little fast. We can slow down. There’s plenty of time.”

She nodded. Being tired wasn’t something she was used to. But she’d never trained as hard before either.

“You’ve learned a lot these last few weeks, Juliska. Take a few days. We will continue then.”

“Okay. I think I’ll go lie down. My head feels a little hazy still.” She made her way to her room and fell onto the bed. She stared up at the ceiling. “What a wuss… can’t keep up with a man hundreds of years older than me.”

Even disappointed in herself, she fell asleep, deeply. She didn’t wake for hours, nearly dinner time. She sat up and noticed a tray sitting on her bedtable. The food was cold now. And at some point Fazendiin had brought her a pot of tea. She hadn’t even heard him come in. But she felt much better now. Perhaps she did just need a little rest.

She chuckled darkly. “I bet Fazendiin doesn’t need to worry about getting tired or needing rest. Or getting sick. Must be nice to be immortal…”

She wondered what exactly that really meant. To be immortal.

Did he just heal if injured? Did he ever get sick? If someone tried to kill him, would it take time to come back to life? If someone for example, cut off his head, would he die? Or keep living. She imagined the man carrying around his head… it wasn’t a pretty picture.

A wave of rumbles in her stomach got her attention. “I’m so hungry.” Which was good to feel now that all the nausea had subsided. She went down to the kitchen, surprised to find the caretaker, Basil, there. He was delivering freshly picked vegetables from the garden. 

“Oh hello, Miss. Feeling better?”

“Oh, um, yes thanks.”

“He told me you’d fainted. Was worried I think.”

“Right…”

“Oh he likes you, Miss. You may have come here on strange terms, but he does care for you. He wants to see you do well in this life.”

“Basil, can I ask you something?” she ignored his comment.

“Sure. Sure.”

“You’re obviously not immortal…”

“No.”

“Is that by choice? Was it ever offered to you?”

Basil took a moment to answer. “Yes. It was offered. I turned it down.”

“Why? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Just not interested. I think I’ve lived long enough. Immortality just doesn’t suit me. Living forever…” he shrugged.

She let out a humored exhale. “Yeah, I suppose it’s not for everyone.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just got curious I guess.”

“I take it you’ve never been sick before.”

She eyed him, surprised by his statement.

“Nothing like realizing one’s mortality like getting sick for the first time. Although, I’d say you look mighty healthy to me.”

“Yeah. I feel fine now. I think I was just overtired.”

“Well, whatever you need, you just ask your host. He’s quite a fair man, if I may say so myself. Just ask him…”

Basil left and Juliska munched on an apple. Perhaps she should test that statement. There was something nagging at the back of her mind, causing her much distress.

Later after dinner, she caught Fazendiin staring at her.

“You’ve got something on your mind,” he stated.

She nodded.

“Something you want to ask me, but are afraid to.”