Foster Siblings 3: Brokedown Hearts (7 page)

Blood thickened David’s already erect cock and made his shaft push painfully against his jeans. He brokenly whispered, “No, I don’t want it,” in a tone that hardly held sound. His breath came in sharp pants, filled with panic, but in this dark moment a deeper, more primal need controlled his body.

With the denial not fully past his lips, David undid the button on his jeans and pushed his hands under the fabric, past the thatch of fur, and down to his stiff cock. At first contact, David’s penis reared and his balls swelled. A noise between a croak and a groan slipped past his throat, but he could not overcome the need to close his fingers around his shaft and pull on the length.

A piece of David’s brain screamed at him not to go down this path. Sexual desires without foundation or reciprocation were dangerous for him. Even the smallest submission to these needs would crack open a door that should stay firmly closed inside him. David needed to withdraw his hand, get out of this bed, and dump icy water over his head. His mind shouted at him to do those very things, but the way Ben had looked at him last night through the windshield of his car lived in David’s mind too. The memory ripped a low moan up from David’s gut and dragged him the rest of the way under the tide.

With one yank on his zipper, David had his jeans open in front. One shift later, he had his pants and underwear shoved down to his thighs, just enough to free his dick for a long, hard tug. Dry skin made him wince and cry out, but did not slow him down. He spit into his other palm, lubed his rigid length good enough for the job, and began pulling on himself as if he would expire on the spot if he didn’t come in under a minute.

One-handed, David whipped his fingers up and down his prick and sent his entire body into a frenzy. He did nothing more than touch his penis, but every inch of his skin buzzed with hot life. His clothes rubbed against his flesh, but to David each touch of fabric against skin became Ben’s tongue licking him all over, and David moaned and writhed for more.

A roughly whispered “Please” escaped David, filling the thick motel-room air with another layer of sex. His eyes open, David swore he could see Ben, all hot and big and sexy, naked in bed with him, encouraging every move he made. Acceptance filled David’s soul, and a raw groan of desire scratched his throat on its way out. David rolled onto his side, and with his cheek jammed into the pillow, he jerked himself off with harder and harder pulls. Every nerve ending in his cock shrieked at him to slow down, but David could take no more than a second to spit in his hand again and then went right back to pumping his tightly closed fist back and forth along his prick.

With the new lubrication coating his cock, David moved his hand along his length with insane speed. Sharp lines of rapturous joy raced through David’s dick and shot spikes of deep, pleasurable sensations into every corner of his body. His gut clenched, almost as if fighting the pleasure building within him. His balls rolled in his sac and pulled up hard between his thighs, signaling his endgame.

Shocks of lightning-hot pleasure began streaking through David’s cock. A split second before David jerked with release, Ben tucked his big, warm body against the back of David’s, slipped his cock between David’s ass cheeks, and whispered against his ear,
Baby, let me in.

David shoved his buttocks back against Ben while shouting for the man’s cock. He yanked one last time on his dick. With that, he spewed thick, milky lines of seed onto the bedding, jolting from top to bottom as he came. Quickly on top of the first, a second wave of orgasm rocked through David, and he dumped another lake’s worth of ejaculate onto the sheets.

In the aftermath, David reached back for Ben and asked, “Why didn’t you fuck me?” but he only touched air. His heart sank, but at the same time, his skin began to flame with another wave of heat.
Where did he go?

As fast as David had succumbed to orgasm, he jumped out of bed and ran to the door, pulling up his underwear and jeans the whole way. After undoing the lock as fast as he could, his hand shaking and still full of cum, he ran outside, past the sidewalk, and halfway into the parking area, searching for Ben.

Nobody was outside. A smattering of cars dotted the parking areas on either side of the empty pool. David not only couldn’t find Ben, he didn’t even see his car in the lot.

Where is he?
David rushed around to the other side of the pool, just in case the pool signs or fencing somehow blocked Ben’s vehicle from sight. With his heart knocking too fast against his chest, David jogged around the caged pool, cataloging each of the few cars along the way. Ben’s black, sleek BMW was nowhere in sight.

He said he was staying here
. His heart sinking and his antennae rising in a way that sped up his blood, David headed back to his room in a fast walk, his thoughts blazing with too many bad scenarios.
Why isn’t he here?
His skin heating, David frowned, and he soured on the idea of Ben being a gentle sweetheart with a smoldering look and dry sense of humor.
So much for first impressions
. David snorted and shot his middle finger into the air.
Maybe he never came back last night like he said he would
. His moves jerky, David strode into his room and slammed the door.
He probably found some hot, young guy when he was out at the store and hooked up with him.

Angry at the world, David flipped on the light—and stopped dead in his tracks. Against the wall by the bathroom, a small litter box sat tucked in the corner. A couple of feet away from it was a pet bed, of which the kitten was making good use and was fast asleep. Two small dishes, one with water and one with food, were on the floor near the bed.

I don’t remember any of that
. Digging his hands into his hair, David spun, and another sight stopped his heart for a second time in less than a minute. A grocery bag and his backpack sat in the middle of the table, with a folded piece of paper propped against one.

His hands shaking and his heart thumping for an entirely new reason, David crossed the room, picked up the paper, and unfolded it.

David—

You fell asleep with your door unlocked and your window open. Not a good idea. It’s not safe. Extra litter, food, and a few other things for the kitten are in the bag. I’ll stop by tonight to see how the little lion is doing.

—Ben

Oh hell
. David’s legs went wobbly, and he dropped into a chair.
My first impression was right
. A small smile took David over, and he pressed the folded note against his lips.
He really is as sweet as he is sexy.

The way their gazes had met and held three times now, the intensity with which Ben had looked at David from his car before driving away, was still seared into David’s vision, and it lifted David back to the euphoria he’d experienced after having that orgasm a moment ago.
And bonus, I’m pretty sure he’s gay too.

Suddenly David couldn’t wait to get to work and back home today. He jumped up, raced to the dresser for some clothes, and scratched the kitten behind his ears on the way to the bathroom for a shower. Work was great anyway, but today it would be even better. He would welcome whatever would make the time fly by faster and help him get to this evening when he would see Ben again.
Maybe we can have a late dinner together. Maybe he’ll even want to kiss me.

Beautiful, sexy, loving images of David with Ben began flashing through David’s mind, all of them perfect and wonderful and warm and inviting. Everything David wanted in a relationship with a man existed in Ben’s changing hazel eyes.

Euphoria made David feel like he had clouds floating under his feet. Then he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror over the sink, which also reflected the dank awfulness of the room in which he now resided.
Oh fucking shit
. Reality came slamming through him worse than a hurricane.
Because of thoughts just like these, I’m where I am now
. Going shaky all over, David stumbled to the wall, slid to the floor, and started snapping the elastic hair tie wrapped around his wrist.
When I thought I had Christian, I imagined a future for us that was so real I couldn’t accept that he didn’t want and feel the same, exactly like what happened just now.

When David had first become attracted to Christian and had started seeing him in secret, he’d experienced dozens of sexual fantasies similar to the one he’d had about Ben. And while David had never started out dreaming that Christian was a wolf who morphed into a man, he’d had plenty of wet dreams and jerk-off fantasies to thoughts of the two of them naked and rolling around in bed together. David had more than thought about him and Christian sexually, though. As he’d done just now with Ben, David had become filled with thoughts of romantic love and being a couple forever with the guy.

In the past, though, after having a fantasy of Christian, David had never run outside to search for him. He’d never awoken so steeped in believing the fantasy to be real that he’d become panicked about where Christian had gone and, without thought, chased after him.

Oh God
. David snapped and snapped the band around his wrist at a frantic pace.
Did any of the therapy I went through in prison sink in? Am I getting worse?
If pressed to the smallest context of the word, how he’d chased after the phantom Ben and searched the whole motel parking area for his car could be construed as the beginnings of stalking a person.

His stomach churning with sick, David crawled to the toilet and pulled himself up to the bowl. Instead of vomiting, he zeroed in on his cell phone on the lid of the commode. He’d taken it out of his pocket yesterday evening to protect it from getting wet when he’d washed down the kitten. Afterward he’d thrown himself onto the bed to rest, apparently more exhausted than he’d thought, and had fallen soundly asleep.

A text message David had received yesterday morning popped into his thoughts, and he grabbed the phone. His first doctor, Justin Fariday, the one who’d worked with him while he’d been held in Gainesville, and who’d helped bring him out of his catatonic state, had checked in with David to see how he was adjusting to and handling his freedom. At the time, David had simply texted back that he felt all right and that everything he’d learned was helping him to cope with the challenges of his new life. Dr. Fariday had sent his praise in return with a reminder that David could call him if he ever felt himself slipping to a place he couldn’t control.

David started dialing the doctor’s number but ended the call before completing it.
Good God
. He dropped the phone on the floor and backed away from it.
Am I so pathetic and helpless already?
Dr. Fariday and the two other psychiatrists David had worked with after being transferred to the prison in Pensacola had all given him great insight and coping tools to deal with his problems if they ever arose again.

Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I caught myself before anything happened
. In taking a moment to think more clearly, David could see that Ben had not, in one exchanged glance, invited David to suck his cock. And beyond that, even if Ben had, once he learned of David’s history, he would retract the offer.

I might not be hiding the fact that I’m gay anymore, and maybe I’ve gained control over my paranoia and fantasies, but that doesn’t mean I’m anybody’s prize. Especially not for a put-together guy like Ben.

Not nearly as light on his feet this time, David trudged to the shower. After all, he did still have to go to work today. Being around the animals would make him feel better. At least he prayed they would.

He would not survive a second trip into the hell that came with obsessing over a man.

* * * *

Exhausted, and it wasn’t even eight thirty in the morning, Ben sat across from a stone-faced Jonah Roberts at the popular Cuban eatery where David had met with his ex-wife. Once again, he shared his professional opinion with Jonah. “I’ll keep following him if that’s what you want, but I’m telling you, I don’t believe he’s a threat to Christian any longer. I know every news story these days seems to be about some repeat offender who gets out of prison only to commit a crime and go back in, but it’s not always so black-and-white. Those stats and stories don’t give you the breakdowns of guys who’ve gone through multiple rehabilitation programs and who take seriously the therapy they are given while incarcerated. I’ve spoken with two of the three doctors who worked with David, and they are both extremely confident he understands why it was wrong to do what he did. He has learned what triggers those feelings in him and how to cope with them now. He knows if he needs helps, it’s okay to admit it and get it. I understand your fears, but in this instance I don’t think they are founded.”

Jonah remained statue stiff, and his stare turned to a glare. “You’ve never had the man you love locked in a room with someone with a gun, so don’t fucking tell me you understand my concerns. This isn’t some vendetta I’m on, Evans. I’m not hoping to make that bastard’s life miserable. I couldn’t give two shits about him. This is about me protecting the only person I’ve ever loved and who has ever loved me. Don’t”—he growled the word and jabbed the table with his finger—“tell me not to do the only thing I know how to do. I have to.”

Put in his place—
don’t forget, this man is your client, even if he’s also an acquaintance
—Ben lifted his hands in surrender. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to invalidate your fears and concerns.” Still, Ben couldn’t completely tuck tail; it wasn’t his style, so he added, “But don’t ask me not to give you my professional opinion. I can’t stop doing my job any more than you can let go of protecting your partner.”

Crossing his arms against his chest, Jonah leaned back in the booth seating and spoke through tight lips that barely moved. “Then I guess you need to decide if you want to keep taking my money and do the job I paid for, or if I should close out our deal and look for someone else.” A group of patrons walked past their booth near the back of the restaurant just then, and Jonah leaned in over the table and lowered his voice but somehow didn’t lose a hint of the rancor. “Because if you think I’m gonna let that asshole roam around Coleman without someone keeping tabs on him, then you are not nearly the insightful investigator Braden swore to me you are.”