Authors: Danielle Steel
“I’m fine,” Izzie said, sitting up, with a look of embarrassment. She’d been hiding, and Jennifer looked as though she suspected it. “Just tired from the trip up.”
“Are you hungry?” Jeff had given her a list of all the things Izzie liked to eat, and Jennifer had bought them all. She could guess what Izzie was feeling. No woman had lived in the house since her mother left five years before. This was a big change for her, on her own turf, and she was used to having her father to herself. Jennifer was trying to make it as easy as possible for her. “I just got some cheese and French bread, and the pâté your father said you like.” Jennifer looked earnest and hopeful, and all Izzie wanted to do was run away.
“No, thanks. I’m fine. I’m going out with friends tonight.” She wasn’t, but she didn’t know what else to say. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be at home. And Gabby had said her family was going to
The Nutcracker
that night, so she couldn’t go there. And none of the boys were home yet. She felt stupid being so unfriendly to Jennifer, but she was an intruder in their home. And Izzie knew her father wanted to live with her. And in spite of trying to be reasonable about it, Izzie felt betrayed.
She followed Jennifer back into the living room, and found her putting magazines on the coffee table that she thought Izzie might want to read. Izzie saw two she liked immediately, but she didn’t touch them, and went to stand at the Christmas tree, and then turned to Jennifer with a look of accusation.
“What happened to all our old decorations?”
“Your dad put them in boxes in the basement. We got new ones. Some of the old ones looked pretty tired.” They did, but Izzie loved them. She felt like a child as she looked up at the tree, and missed the battered old ornaments she had had since her childhood. The new ones were pretty, but not the same. “We can bring them up if you want,” Jennifer said nervously. She was wearing jeans and boots, and a black sweater that set off her figure. And she had long, shining dark hair. There was no denying she was pretty, and she didn’t look her age. She appeared more like a contemporary of Izzie’s than a thirty-nine-year-old woman. She did yoga every day and was in great shape. She sat down on the recliner and looked at Izzie, who couldn’t help noticing that she seemed entirely at home there. The new recliner was hers.
“No, that’s okay,” Izzie responded to her offer to bring up the old decorations, and sat down uncomfortably on the couch, facing her.
Jennifer decided to broach the subject, knowing that if she didn’t, it was going to be a very uncomfortable week until Izzie went back to L.A. “I know this is hard for you,” she started gently. “I kind of went through something like this myself. My mom died when I was fifteen, and I was alone with my father. He fell in love with my mom’s best friend and married her a year later. She had two kids I’d never been crazy about, younger than I was, and they had two more kids together. I hated it at first, and I hated her, even though I’d always liked her when my mom was alive. And I was really pissed off at my dad for a while. I went away to college, as far away as I could, and I never wanted to go home. But in the end, I realized that she and my dad loved each other, she was good for him, and she and I are good friends today. She’s not my mom, and she never tried to be, but she’s a wonderful friend, and one of her daughters and I are best friends. And I love my half brothers too. They’re a pain in the neck sometimes, and they were when they were growing up, but they’re funny and I love them. My dad died last year, but I still go home to see them all whenever I can.”
“Are you and my dad going to get married and have kids?” Izzie asked, sounding nervous.
“I don’t know. Maybe not. This is all either of us want right now.” Or it was all she wanted. Jeff had been hinting at “long term” for a while, but she didn’t feel ready, and she didn’t say that to Izzie. She knew it would be too much for her to handle. “I think losing my mom so young made me kind of skittish about getting attached to anyone. I’ve never wanted to get married and have kids. I think I figured that if I got too attached to someone, they’d die.” She was being very honest with her, as Izzie watched her eyes. They were open and Jennifer was a real person.
“That’s sad. You’re not too old to have kids.” She looked even younger than she was. “I never thought my dad would want to have more kids, but maybe he does.”
“We haven’t talked about it. We’re just living together. It’s enough for now. And whatever he does, with me or someone else, you’re always going to be his daughter, and someone very special in his life.”
“He thinks you’re special too,” Izzie said softly.
“And I think he is too.” She smiled at Izzie. “That makes three very special people under one roof. Do you think we can make this work, so you’re comfortable here too? It’s your house, after all.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Izzie still wasn’t sure, although she had to admit that Jennifer was making a real effort. It just felt like she didn’t belong there. But they’d been dating for a while, and she realized that something was bound to come up if they dated long enough. She had just hoped this would never happen, but at least they weren’t married, and Jennifer sounded like she didn’t want to anytime soon. Maybe she thought her dad was too old too. At fifty-six, Izzie thought so. Not for dating, he was still a handsome guy, but for marrying a woman seventeen years younger than he was and starting a family. He was a great father to her, but she couldn’t imagine him with more kids, or babies around.
“So what do you think?” Jennifer asked her gently. “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?” Izzie smiled when she said it, and wanted to answer,
Yeah. Go home!
But she didn’t, and she appreciated what Jennifer was doing, and how hard she was trying to reach out to Izzie. It couldn’t have been easy for her either, and she was touched by what Jennifer had said about her mother and stepmother.
“I guess I’ll get used to it in a while. It’s just different,” she said generously. “I like the new chair, and the flowers look pretty around the house.” Her little touches were everywhere.
“Are you seeing your mom over Christmas?” Jennifer knew from the past year that Izzie didn’t see her often. Katherine’s home base had shifted to New York, and she traveled more than ever. Katherine’s maternal instincts had never developed, and she treated Izzie like someone else’s child.
“No, she’s in London. She’s coming to L.A. in a few weeks, on business. She’s taking me to dinner then.” Jennifer nodded and refrained from comment. She didn’t want to criticize her mother, but she felt sorry for Izzie that there had never been an important female figure in her life, only her father. It made Jennifer that much more of a threat now.
“Well, I’m going to get some of that cheese and pâté on a plate,” she said, and headed for the kitchen, and a few minutes later, Izzie wandered in.
Jennifer had done a nice cheese platter adorned with grapes. The pâté was on a plate, and there was French bread in a basket with a red-and-white-checked napkin around it, and before Izzie knew it, she had eaten half the pâté, sampled two of her favorite cheeses, and was sitting at the kitchen table, talking to Jennifer about her roommate, and the problems she had with her. She was trying to decide if she wanted to ask for a new one, or wait and get her own apartment for sophomore year. She had thought of sharing a place with Gabby, but Billy was there so often and she didn’t want to live with him. They were major decisions in Izzie’s life, and Jennifer suggested she ask for a room change when she went back. Why be miserable until June with a roommate she didn’t like?
They were talking about it when Jeff walked in half an hour later, and was pleased to see them chatting in the kitchen. Izzie jumped up the minute she saw him, and threw her arms around her father, who hugged her tight, and smiled at Jennifer over her shoulder. Jennifer nodded at him. She thought things were going well, better than expected. And she was willing to be patient while Izzie got used to her living there.
They had dinner together in the kitchen. Jennifer had bought two roasted chickens, and Jeff tossed a salad and made some of his special pasta that Izzie loved. And they finished the meal off with ice cream, and then went to sit in the living room and admire the tree. With the rest of the lights turned off, and only the tree lights lit, it suddenly felt like Christmas, and her father put on a CD of Christmas carols. They sat there for a long time together, with Jennifer on the comfortable recliner and Jeff and Izzie side by side on the couch. Jennifer was wise enough not to come too close, and allow them the time they needed to be together. It was obvious how much they loved each other, and how Izzie idolized her father.
Izzie finally went to her room, and left Jennifer and her father talking to each other. And as soon as Izzie got into her nightgown, she got a text from Sean that said
“I’m home.”
She smiled to herself as she read it, and responded immediately,
“Me too.”
And she knew she was, as she turned off the light, and climbed into her familiar bed. Nothing much had changed after all, except maybe a little bit for the better.
Chapter 12
A
ll of the families were excited to have their kids home for the holidays. Their houses came alive.
The O’Haras soaked up Sean’s visit home like sponges, they were so happy to see him and be with him, and have his friends in and out of the house. Mike and Billy talked football. He’d watched all of the USC games, and was planning to go to L.A. with Sean and Connie to see Billy play at the Rose Bowl.
They talked about the various games during the season, and how lucky he was that they were letting him play so early in his college football career, and he’d done well so far as the rookie quarterback on the team. Mike had no doubt that Billy was going to have an important career in football. Everyone who knew him was proud of him. At the Thomases’, Michelle and Gabby talked animatedly about the things they wanted to do together, and the Norton house was bursting with life and excitement with Billy home, Brian thrilled to see him, and the twins keeping them all busy. And most of all the Big Five were ecstatic to be together for a week. They had missed each other fiercely.
Marilyn and Jack had a Christmas party and invited everyone, kids and adults alike. The O’Haras came but didn’t stay long, and weren’t feeling very festive. Judy and Adam were there with Gabby and Michelle, and Billy stayed close to Gabby at the party. Andy came with his mother, since his father was working on a new book and was in seclusion. And Jeff brought Jennifer and Izzie. Marilyn commented later to Connie what a pretty girl Jennifer was, and she was happy to see that she was nice to Izzie, although Izzie admitted that she still wasn’t all that happy that they were living together, and she was afraid they might get married and have babies. But she was willing to concede that Jennifer was nice.
The O’Haras lent them their Tahoe house between Christmas and New Year, to go skiing at Squaw Valley. Billy was going back to L.A. for practice before the Rose Bowl, and would come up for only one day. The others were going to spend the week in Tahoe, and Sean had invited a few other friends, mostly girls. Mike and Connie trusted them with the house, and there had never been any bad incidents while they stayed there.
All the kids were happy when they left for Tahoe in two vans, full of people, skis, and luggage. It was a big house with room for all of them, and a dormitory room where they could fit the overflow of bodies. They were a lively group, and everyone pitched in to make dinner at night. The O’Haras’ only condition was no drinking, and everyone agreed to abide by the rules, although Billy had flashed the flask in his pocket. Sean told him to put it away, and he did. Sean hadn’t had a drink since his DUI.
They sat around the fireplace at night, talking about their schools and roommates, and Izzie and Andy got into a long conversation about Harvard one night. Andy loved it and thought she should transfer, but she said she was happy where she was, and wanted to stay in California. And she liked knowing that Gabby and Billy were nearby in L.A.—it was like having family in the same city. And Andy talked a lot about the rigors of pre-med, but it had never occurred to him for an instant to do something different, just as Billy had always known he’d play football. It was what their parents expected of them. Izzie’s mother still wanted her to go to law school, but for Izzie it was never an option. She liked the psych class she was taking, and had been thinking about that as a career. She was signed up for abnormal psych the following semester, which sounded interesting but a little creepy to her. Her adviser had told her she’d enjoy it. She still hadn’t decided on a major. What she really wanted to do was work with the indigent in a developing country for a summer, or do an internship after college. Like her father, she loved helping people. She just hadn’t figured out yet how to do it or for whom.
She and Andy were still talking on the second night, after the others went to bed. They found a bottle of wine in a kitchen cupboard and, despite the rules, decided to share some. Sean had already gone to bed—he had brought a girl up to Tahoe with him, whom he wanted to start dating. He had met her at school. She was a champion skier, and everyone agreed she had a hot body. She was sleeping in the dormitory room with some of the other girls, but Sean was hoping to start something with her by the end of the week, and things were looking hopeful. Izzie had seen Sean kissing her that night, in the hallway after dinner, but he hadn’t scored yet.
“So, are you still a virgin?” Izzie asked Andy, with a look of mischief, as they finished a forbidden glass of wine, which made it just a little more exciting. “Any hot babes at Harvard?” She was half teasing, but not completely. Although he was one of her best friends, Izzie had always found him attractive. She had just never wanted to screw up their friendship, and still didn’t.
“Funny that you ask,” he said with a portentous look, and then he laughed. “Yeah, dammit, I am. They give too much homework. I have no time for sex or romance if I want to keep my grades up.”