Friends With Multiple Benefits (12 page)

Her gaze locked on it. "Mr. Nash, I—"

Suddenly, in one swift and slick motion he pressed his foot against the chair pedal which controlled the chair height. A whooshing sound spilled out as Jillian's body made a slow
descent
until her head was
in-line
with his groin.

"Wow." Her eyes widened then she looked up to his face, breaking character. "Did you plan that out?"

He shrugged. "I got lucky."

"I'm impressed."

He shot her a faux scolding expression. "We don't have a lot of time, remember?"

"Sorry." She returned her attention to his bulge.

"First you are late then you can't find the important papers I need. I should have you written up."

"Written up?" She slowly met his gaze.

"It's company policy, Ms. Grayson."

"Is there some way I can make it up to you?" She traced a finger along the outline of his growing erection.

Moaning, he closed his eyes. "Well, I, um…"

She slowly pulled his zipper down then extracted his penis from his pants.

She kissed the tip then looked up to his face. "Do you want me to look for those papers now or should I take care of this instead?"

"Um, what you're doing now is… fine."

She grinned then took the head into her mouth. Reaching out, he massaged her neck while she worked her magic. It only took a few minutes of attention before he was hunched over groaning and panting and catching the result of her efforts in his hand. He waddled toward the bathroom while she wiped her face.

A minute later he returned from the bathroom, checked the time then grabbed his keys. "Oh, crap. I'm going to be late."

"Aren't you going to change?"

"I don't have time. I have some clothes at the club."

"But what are you going to tell people if they ask why you're wearing a suit?"

"Oh, I'll just tell them the truth." He shrugged. "That my wife wanted to play angry businessman and naughty secretary."

"Okay." After chuckling, she kissed him on the lips. "Call me later."

Brian rushed to his MINI Cooper Coupe and with eight minutes to make the normally eleven minute trip, he punched the gas. The traffic was light and he was making good time until he reached a red stop light. He wore a silly grin as his mind was replaying the exciting events of the morning. He adjusted his still somewhat excited penis when the passenger door opened and a man plopped down in the seat next to him, pointing a gun at his head. "The light's green."

"What the hell?" Shocked, Brian lifted his hands.

"Drive."

"What are you doing?" Brian asked with his eyes opened wide and the blood rapidly draining from his groin area.

"Just drive."

The man appeared to be in his
midtwenties
and was in desperate need of a shave and a shower. Not to mention, he could use some manners and quite possibly a more thought out career plan.

Brian hit the gas and looked through the rear view mirror hoping a police officer had
somehow followed
him. After a few blocks of driving nervously and glancing down to the gun pointed at him, Brian asked, "Where are we going."

"Make a right here."

"No, I—" Brian shut up when the man pressed the gun to his cheek.

The armed man directed him to pull into an empty school parking lot and to drive to the back of the building.

After putting the car in park, Brian took his hand off the wheel and held them in the air. "Okay, now what?"

"Get out."

"Really?" Brian sighed.

"What did you think I just wanted a ride to school?" The man chuckled.

"No, but—"

"I said get the fuck out of the car."

"Okay. I'm getting out." Brian opened the door and climbed out of the car with his hands raised. The man met him at the passenger door.

"Is this a convertible?" The man waved the gun gesturing toward the car.

"No, I wish." Brian frowned.

"Yeah, what's wrong with you?" The man pointed to the sunny sky. "You're living in one of the most beautiful places in the
country
and no convertible."

"Well, it was a gift from my wife. She picked it out."

"It's still a sweet ride though."

"Yeah, um, thanks," Brian replied halfheartedly.

They stood together for a moment admiring the car until the man turned to Brian then held his palm out with widened eyes.

"What?" Brian asked.

"The keys?"

"Oh, sorry." Brian dropped them in his hand.

The man headed to the driver's side then looked back. "Hey, what kind of suit is that?"

"Armani."

"It's nice."

"Um, thanks."

"What size?"

"
Forty-two
regular."

"Huh…" The man paused for a few seconds then shrugged. "I'm really sorry about this, but I think I'm going to have to ask for the suit, too."

Brian's jaw dropped open. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Frowning, Brian sighed as he let the jacket slide off his arms. "I can't believe this shit."

"Hurry up." With his gun still trained on Brian, the man looked around quickly.

"Okay. Okay." Dropping to his knees, Brian untied his shoes then pulled them off.

"That's a nice shirt."

Brian returned upright and shook his head. "It's just from Target."

"Uh-huh…" The man walked behind him, flipped the collar, and checked the label. "I don't think Target sells John Varvatos."

"Geez."

The gunman took a few steps back and wore a disappointed frown as he motioned for Brian to lose the shirt.

"Okay." After taking off the shirt, Brian grabbed his belt then his eyes widened. "Can I ask one favor?"

"What?"

"I'm sorta not wearing any underwear and would you mind if I got my pair of emergency shorts from the trunk?"

"What the hell are emergency shorts?" The man made a face. "Do you shit yourself a lot?"

"No, you see, um, I keep ending up naked in front of
str
…" Brian waved his hands in the
air, "…
it's a long story."

"Okay. Okay," the man grumbled. "Just hurry up."

Brian headed for the trunk as the man kept the gun pointed at him. He glanced at his shoes. "Geez, those are Varvatos shoes too. They're like six hundred dollars, right?"

"Something like that."

"What size."

"Nine."

"Small feet, huh?"

"My feet aren't that small." After opening the trunk, Brian pulled a small plastic bag containing a pair of shorts out of
a box.

"Most men are like an eleven dude." The man studied the bag in Brian's hand. "You really can fit a pair of shorts in there?"

"I designed this myself."

"That's so cool." Smiling, the man reached out to touch the bag.

"I know, right?" Brian said proudly.

The man's smile faded as he seemingly pulled himself back to reality. He looked around. "Come on. Let's wrap this up."

He dropped his pants and handed them before shyly turning away. The man with the gun glanced at Brian's junk then looked away, holding back a laugh. After grabbing the shorts out of the bag, Brian pulled them on.

The man wore a silly grin and Brian gave him a look. "What is it?"

"Nothing." The man headed toward the driver's door.

"No, what is it?"

"It's just…" Turning back, he sneered. "I guess what they say about small feet is true."

Brian shot him an insulted look.

The man climbed into the car and pulled the door closed. He lowered the window and returned his gaze to his victim. "Sorry man."

"Hey, just for the record I'm a grower."

"Oh, sure you are." The man curled his lip as he pulled Brian's wallet out of the suit pants pocket, opened it up, and removed the cash.

"I swear."

"I believe you." After tossing the wallet out the window, he sped away laughing.

Brian was too busy checking out the fit of his shorts and basking in the knowledge that the little project he's been working on for the last month or so was already paying dividends.

While the grower was adjusting his package in his tight running shorts, a few miles away, the consummate
shower
was sitting across from Victoria in her office.

Victoria took a sip from her
teacup
as Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I think I would like to
set up
another session with Darla. I found it very helpful."

Victoria tapped her chin. "I'm not sure another session is necessary."

"Why's that?"

"The tests proved your erectile issue was not physiological and I don't believe that it is psychological either."

"Then what do you think is the problem?"

"Um…" She frowned slightly. "Peter, let me ask you something."

"Okay," he replied hesitantly.

"Are you aware of
your
… um, the unusual nature of your—"

"My penis, right?"

"Yes."

"Oh, God, I knew it." He sighed. "I could see it in her eyes. I could sense that Darla was… there is something wrong with it isn't there?"

"Well, no. I wouldn't say wrong." She lifted her palms in the air. "Everyone is different."

"Different?"

"During our previous session you mentioned that you've never watched porn." She giggled, politely. "Not that that would give you any concept of the size of normal male genitalia."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"Have you had any experience seeing men like in the shower at school or the gym?" She took a sip from her
teacup
.

"No. What are you saying? Is it too… small?" he asked sheepishly.

She choked and tea dribbled out of her mouth. She scrambled to find a napkin and wiped her blouse and her face. After coughing and clearing her throat, she said, "Sorry, um, no that's not what I'm trying to say."

Peter moved to the edge of his seat. "Doctor Wilde, please tell me the truth. I've been living with this for such a long time and if there is something wrong with me, I just want to know what it is."

"Peter, your penis is large."

"Really?" He looked at her confused.

"In fact, even without official measurements… um, purely from my visual inspection during your session with Darla I'd say you were in the top one percent maybe even
one-half
of one percent of men."

He slumped back in his chair and shook his head. "I had no idea."

"Have you ever measured it?"

"No."

"The average length of
a penis
is right around six inches." Victoria opened a drawer and pulled out a lifelike replica of the average erect male penis. She stood it up on her desk. "This is approximately what that looks like."

His eyes bugged out of his head. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not."

"Wow."

"So your erectile problems are almost certainly due to your unusual size. The body can only supply so much blood and for only so long to your genital area—without proper stimulation, of course."

"This is…" His jaw dropped open and he shook his head. "So all this time I've been worrying that there was something wrong with me."

"Your size does present certain challenges with sex. Your girth could make oral sex difficult and you must be careful when thrusting during normal intercourse because of your length."

"Okay." He sighed. "This is a lot to take in."

"Tell me about it," Victoria mumbled.

"What'd you say?"

"Oh, nothing. So, none of the women you were with previously, ever mentioned this or gave you any indication about your…" Victoria motioned toward his groin with her hand.

"No, they didn't."

"Well, the vagina also comes in various sizes."

"Really?"

"Yes, and I think with the right partner you would be able to enjoy a mostly normal and healthy sex life."

When a patrol car spotted a man wearing only tight running shorts, dark socks, and dress shoes walking along the road wearing an odd grin, they, of course, questioned him thoroughly. The man's unusually cheery demeanor after having just been
car jacked
and left basically naked had the officers skeptical of his tale.

When Jillian arrived at the
station,
she was slightly panicked. She came upon her husband seated in the waiting room, wearing an odd look on his face and staring down to the floor. Wearing tight, thin, running shorts, dark socks and shoes, plus a bright orange Police Family Association Tenth Annual Picnic T-shirt, he was most certainly an unusual sight.