Friends With Multiple Benefits (13 page)

She stood in front of him and cocked her head. "Are you okay?"

There was no response from him.

She sat and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Brian, are you okay?"

"What?" He slowly lifted his gaze to her wearing a seemingly shocked expression.

"On my God, did he hurt you?"

"What?" He looked at her confused.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No." He shook his head, smiling. "But it worked?"

"What worked?"

"Oh, nothing."

"I can't believe they stole your car."

"And my suit." He grinned.

"I know." She shook her head. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Yeah."

Her gaze traveled down to his tight shorts where she could clearly see the outline of his flaccid penis. She frowned. "They couldn't find you another pair of shorts?"

"No, these are mine."

"Really?" She studied them a moment. "I've never seen them before."

"Oh, I…" He shrugged. "I just bought them."

"They seem a little tight."

"No, they fit pretty well."

"Okay." A look of relief washed over her face. "I was worried you were, you know, naked again walking down the road."

"Nope, not this time. In fact, I don't think that will ever happen to me again." His lips curled up into a grin.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." He put on a somber expression.

She studied his face with her concern growing. "Are you sure you're okay. You're acting weird."

"No, I'm good. And the police just told me they found the car abandoned right outside the city. My cell was still in it along with the keys, but I think we should change the locks at home just to be safe."

"Sure. Okay." She put her hand on his knee.

"I think I'm going to buy you some new shorts." She rose to her feet. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah, sure."

After the car-jacking incident, Brian spent the next few weeks putting the finishing touches on his secret project behind his closed office door. Concerned, Jillian put her ear to the door several times and considered knocking, but decided against it. She was still under the impression that it was baby related. At least she kept telling herself that.

During this period, Jillian's morning sickness switched again to high gear and her libido back to low gear. Her husband was aloof during the transition and while still attentive to her needs, he seemed both preoccupied at work and in his office. She decided to let him have his space.

Just before sunset a few days later the doorbell rang at the Grayson-Nash home. When Jillian opened the door, she found Victoria and Jim on the porch, one holding a bottle of champagne and the other holding a bottle of sparkling cider. Victoria smiled. "I hope we aren't interrupting anything. We were in the neighborhood."

"You're always in the neighborhood. You live two blocks away." Jillian motioned for them to come in.

The couple stepped inside and Victoria said, "Want to help us celebrate?"

Jim held up the bottle and said halfheartedly, "Evidently it's
the three-month
anniversary of our wedding."

"Wow, you guys will be celebrating every quarter will ya?"

"No, we actually do it monthly." Victoria motioned with a head nod to her husband. "And don't let him fool you. He made me breakfast in bed and bought me a card. He plays this tough guy, I-couldn't-care-less macho thing, but when it comes down to it, he's a sappy romantic."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to tell her that." Jim frowned. "Where's Brian?"

"You know…" Jillian shrugged. "I'm not really sure, but I think I heard the back door close a few minutes ago."

The three headed into the kitchen where Jillian grabbed four glasses and placed them on the counter. "I'll see what he's up to."

She opened the back door and scanned the pool area then looked right toward the tennis court. Brian spotted her and quickly hid something behind his back.

Jillian called to him, "Your brother and Victoria are here."

"Oh, okay." He bounced on his heels nervously.

"
Well
are you coming in?" She scowled at him. "What are you doing out there, anyway?"

"Um, I'm just…"

Jillian headed out to him. "What's that behind your back?"

"What? I don't…"

When she reached him, she took hold of his arm and spun him around. He held a small zip lock bag containing folded silky material."

"What in the world is that?"

"Shorts." He added timidly, "It's just
a,
um, pair of running shorts."

"And what are you doing with them?"

"Um, I don't feel comfortable telling you right now." He refused to look her in the eye.

"Why not?"

"Because it's supposed to be a secret. My secret."

"Okayyyy…" She looked at him like he was out of his mind. "Please come inside now. They want us to celebrate their anniversary with them."

"Anniversary?" Brian scoffed. "What's it been like a month?"

"Three months. It's been three whole months."

"Wow," he replied sarcastically.

"Let's go secret boy." Jillian turned on her heels and headed toward the house. A few steps later she turned back to see that he wasn't following. "Now. Please."

"Can I just have a minute to…?"

"No, we've already been out here too long."

Closing his eyes, he sighed. "Okay."

"I found him." Jillian headed toward her guests who were standing by the kitchen island with the glasses already filled.

"Hey, Jim. Hey there, Victoria." Brian shuffled in holding the shorts behind his back. A few steps through the door, he covertly slipped the bag behind a pillow on the sofa in the great room.

Victoria handed Jillian her glass of cider. When Brian reached the kitchen, Jim handed him a glass. Brian raised it. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary." Jillian lifted hers also.

"Thank you." Victoria gave them a smile.

Narrowing his eyes, Jim pointed toward the sofa. "What was that Bri?"

"Huh?" Brian looked around the room playing it cool. "What?"

"I saw you drop something behind that cushion or…" Jim headed over to the sofa, grinning.

Brian shook his head. "No, that's nothing it's—"

Jim held the plastic bag up and frowned. "Is that a pair of shorts?"

"Yes." Brian wore a nervous expression. "Yes, they are."

"Oh my God, did you shit yourself in these and you were burying them in the backyard?" Jim dropped them to the floor. "Why would you bring these in here?"

"No I didn't shit myself!" Brian cringed. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Everyone?" Jillian asked.

"Never mind." Brian waved his hand at her dismissively.

"What the hell are you doing, dude?" Jim gave him a look.

"I was just, um… you know."

"We don't know." Jillian rolled her eyes. "Does this have something to do with your secret project?"

He sighed. "Um, yes, it does."

"Secret project?" Jim asked.

"Oh, Brian, please tell us what you've been up to. Wait, are you running away to join the circus?" Victoria giggled. "I mean, I would take a few more items of clothing, but it looks like you're trying to travel light."

"Very funny." Brian rolled his eyes then cleared his throat. "Well, if you all must know they are emergency shorts."

"I knew it. They
are
for when you shit
yourself
."

"No, geez, Jim, could you please get
off
the diarrhea. I mean, how old are you?"

"Old enough to not be carrying around an… emergency… pair… of shorts." Jim could barely get out the words as he cracked himself up. The two women joined him in laughter as the butt of their jokes stood there sulking.

When the three finally regained their composure Brian snarled, "Shouldn't you two be off having tantric sex or something? I mean, it is your ninety day anniversary and all."

"Oh, we already did. We're just taking a break," Victoria replied in a casual tone.

"Yep, we've been in bed since…" Jim looked to his wife. "What… about two?"

"That's right. We did it four times today. Once this morning and three times this afternoon."

"And I think we're penciled in for later today." Jim shot his brother an arrogant smile.

"Oh, that's written in ink, babe." Victoria patted him on the rear end.

Brian made a face. "Okay, I think I just threw up a lot in my
mouth
."

"Jealous?" Jim raised his eyebrows.

"Why yes. Yes, I am a little." Brian curled his lip as he caught Jillian's frown. "Sorry, we're pregnant and we have what, uh, you might call a relationship that's on a higher plane. Right honey?"

"Uh-huh." Frowning, Jillian took a sip of cider.

"We don't need to do it four times a day." Brian lifted his glass to Jillian. "Heck, four times a month would be plenty for me."

"What?"

"Oh, sorry, not that we only do it once a week. That's not what I'm saying." Brian adjusted his collar as he looked nervously around the room. "Let's see, we already did it twice since—" He closed his mouth when we caught Jillian's angry glare.

"I'll just shut up now."

"Oh, you get plenty of sex. Keep it up and you'll only be getting seasonal visits. Sort of like the flu."

"I love you," Brian said sheepishly.

"Yeah."

Jim picked the shorts up from the floor. "Let's get back to these. I'm dying to know what these are for."

"Yes, please share." Jillian folded her arms.

Sighing, Brian plopped down on the sofa. "You all know how I have this curse or let's call it a tendency to end up naked in public and embarrass the hell out of myself."

"Oh, come on, how often has it happened?" Jim asked.

"Um, let's see three times I walked from here to your house with no clothes on. Then there was that horrible incident at the fertility clinic." He scoffed. "I mean, how would you like to be, you know, doing
that
and have a half a dozen burly construction workers watching you do it?"

Jim held back a laugh. "I almost forgot about that."

Victoria cringed. "Why the hell were you jerking off in front of construction workers?"

"I didn't." Brian sighed. "Remember they were cutting through the wall from the next room."

"That's weird."

"Yeah, it's weird and it's like someone's got a Brian doll and they keep tearing the clothes off of it and shoving pins into my body. I'm cursed."

"Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting," Jillian said.

"Okay, how about last year at the hospital where Victoria's
lady doctor friend…
" Brian glared at
Victoria, "…
told me she had to cut off my penis after you burned the hell out of it with a curling iron."

"Well, that…" Jillian lifted a palm in the air.

"Then there was that time I went to surprise you at your vacation house and I ended up really, really surprising Rob instead."

The three listened intently while wearing
shell-shocked
looks.

"And there are probably some other ones that
I'm forgetting
about right now," Brian said defensively before tipping back his glass and emptying it. "I really need a refill."

Jillian brought
over
the bottle and whispered, "Sorry about the curling iron thing."

He waved her concern away with his hand. "And I didn't tell you guys when we were in Vegas I was this close…" Brian held his thumb and forefinger an inch
apart, "…
to showing an elevator full of young Brownies my penis."

"That's just about what they would have seen too." Jim held back a smile. "About an inch."

"Words hurt you know," Brian somehow said in a serious tone.

"Sorry dude."

"Wait, why the hell are you flashing the Brownies on the elevator?" Victoria asked. "That's the kind of thing that can get you in some serious trouble."

"I wasn't trying to flash them," he replied in an exhausted tone. "I was only wearing a robe and heading up for my couples massage when my robe somehow got caught in the elevator door. When we went up, my robe went down and I barely held on to it before a piece was ripped off."

"Wow." Victoria covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Only you bro." Jim shook his head.

"I know, right. If it hadn't ripped, I probably would still be in jail right now."

"Probably." Jillian nodded in agreement.