From the Ashes (4 page)

“Well, uh. I guess that’s okay then.” Jesse looked over the backyard. Patchy grass filled in the spaces between trees, poking up through yellow leaves.

The raised doghouse at the far end of the yard was probably too small for Chardonnay to go inside, but both Tomas and his parents had small covered porches off their back doors. Both were littered with ratty pillows no doubt used by sleeping dogs.

Outdoor dogs or not, Chester and Sushi were well cared for.

Anyway, the temperature seldom dropped under fifty at night.

Jesse let Tomas crowd him back into the house. He enjoyed it more than he should have.

A couch loomed in the center of Tomas’s place, beckoning Jesse to sprawl out and pull Tomas on top of him.

He collapsed onto the cushions, torn between horniness and exhaustion. “You don’t mind if I sit down, right?”

“Absolutely not, man.” Tomas went into the kitchen and then came back to push a beer into Jesse’s hand. “You’re twenty-one?”

Jesse groaned at how the beer tasted bitter and good. Kind of like a cock. No—he probably shouldn’t have been thinking that when Tomas was hiding a dozen feet away like he thought Jesse was going to attack him. “Yep. Turned legal last month.” Jesse grinned. He hooked his calf over the top of the couch, making it obvious that Tomas was welcome to join him if he liked.

Perching on the back of the couch, Tomas sipped his own beer. “Happy birthday.” He gave Jesse another one of those winks that probably wasn’t meant to be flirty but still got Jesse excited.

“Thanks.” Jesse’d celebrated his birthday alone in his duplex, watching gay porn because no one was around to tell him not to. It had been lonely and a little pathetic, but at least he’d been free to do whatever he wanted.

Jesse swallowed his beer in a few gulps, working up the courage to make his passes more blatant. He still heard the dogs working out their issues in the backyard, but after his first beer it sounded funny rather than grim.

“Better, right?” Tomas rubbed Jesse’s shoulders. Fuck, his hands were strong.

“Mmmmm…yeah.” Jesse hoped Tomas was seducing him. That would save him the embarrassment of being the one to get things started.

“You want to take a shower? Maybe borrow some clothes? I’ll call for pizza.” Tomas pushed off the back of the couch.

Jesse let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. He couldn’t figure out what was going on here. Sure, they’d agreed not to get physical, but Tomas wasn’t really going to go through with it, right? Jesse had just been trying to make sure Tomas didn’t expect him to put out in exchange for a place to stay.

“Yeah. A shower sounds great.” With a stretch as catlike as he could make it, Jesse stripped off his shirt.

Tomas blinked at him from the kitchen. Jesse could have sworn he saw his Adam’s apple bob on a swallow, but before Jesse could tell if Tomas was getting turned on, Tomas bolted for a folding door and pulled out a towel.

He threw it at Jesse’s chest and went back to the kitchen. “Er, take your time. I’ll, um, have some clean clothes for you when you’re done.”

Tomas managed to ignore the slapping of the water. He even kept cool when Jesse came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. But Jesse sitting on his couch, cheeks flushed and water dripping from his hair, was enough to make Tomas feel like he was going to burst out of his skin.

It didn’t help that Jesse smelled sweet, or that his eyes lingered on Tomas’s body. Jesse nursed his second beer, pausing to lick circles around the rim and press the damp bottle against his cheek.

Tomas should take a cold shower, go to his room and lock the door before he took advantage.

Thankfully, the doorbell rang, so Tomas went to pay the delivery guy for their pizza.

“Here ya go.” Tomas put the cardboard box on his coffee table and served Jesse two slices before getting himself three. He was nervous, and not only because he had a steel pike in his pants. He wanted Jesse to be having a good time. “Hope you like deep-dish.”

“Mmmm…” Jesse’s eyes rolled back in his head as he chewed his first bite of pizza. The way he licked grease off his lips was a frank suggestion.

Urges bubbled to the surface, and Tomas forced them back. Even if Jesse was in his right mind—if they were just two guys hanging out and having pizza—Tomas couldn’t go through with it.

Those things he did in dark alleys, things he was never proud of after, were always with guys he didn’t know, and
never
under his parents’ roof. Sure, he paid rent on the garage. So technically it was
his
roof. That didn’t change the fact that his parents were right across the yard.

“You want to watch a movie?” Tomas grabbed his beer off the shelf next to his TV and finished the rest of the bottle.

“Sure. You want to stream something?” Jesse got up and headed to the kitchen for another beer.

Tomas smiled, relieved that for the moment Jesse had stopped flirting. Tomas could do this—be friendly with a gay man. It didn’t have to lead anywhere else. “We could, or we could see what’s playing on one of the movie channels.” He looked through his brother’s old movies.

Jesse came up behind him and put his chin on Tomas’s shoulder.
So much for not flirting.
“Oh my God, are those VHS tapes?”

Jesse stroked Tomas’s sides, making him breathless and aching. Tomas reminded himself of Jesse’s situation—homeless, traumatized, helpless. But man, he was so fucking tempted.

“Yep.” Tomas played it cool. “We still have a player too.”

“Old school.” Jesse passed his hand under Tomas’s arm and plucked a video off the shelf.

He read it with his arm against Tomas’s back. And, God, it felt good. Tomas never got so close with guys. He knew which acts he liked best, and the way he got off was always completely impersonal. This was sexier—and they weren’t doing anything but touching.

“
Terminator 2
?” Jesse brushed their cheeks together.

“Yeah. My brother used to love that movie.”

Jesse pulled away, taking the video with him. “I’ve heard about it. But never seen it.”

“Wanna put it in?” Tomas pressed his lips together, his face heating. Wow. He hadn’t meant that to sound so suggestive.

“Sure.” Jesse’s smile was slow and sweet. He handed the videocassette to Tomas.

“Cool.” Tomas pushed it into the player and started the TV before taking a seat next to Jesse on the couch.

It wasn’t even a full-size couch. More like a loveseat. With their feet on the coffee table, their thighs touched. It felt like a date, and as many guys as had blown Tomas over the years, he’d never gone on a date with any of them.

The movie started playing, complete with horrible ’90s soundtrack and badass Arnold Schwarzenegger stealing some guy’s sunglasses.

Jesse tugged at the front of his sweatpants.

Tomas’s dick jumped in his jeans.

“You mind if I get comfortable?” Jesse pulled off the T-shirt Tomas had loaned him. His bare body was slim and pale and beautiful.

Leaning back against the armrest, Jesse rested his legs across Tomas’s lap. He smiled as he toyed with the drawstring of the sweats Tomas had loaned him.

“Let me get you some bedding.” Tomas hopped off the couch. He was so stiff it hurt to walk, and he adjusted himself into a better position once he was out of Jesse’s sight.

Extra sheets and blankets filled his closet, and he took his time piling them in his arms.
Breathe in… Breathe out…
Slowly, Tomas forced his mind out of the gutter.

Tomas got it. He really did. Jesse wanted a release—to lose himself in something raunchy and raw and casual. The problem was Tomas didn’t know if he could do it. He liked Jesse too much to shame him that way.

The gay guys Tomas hooked up with never seemed to find what he did to them demeaning, but he’d been raised to believe it was.

That was fine when it came to hookups at strange bars in the city, but the kid curled up on his couch watching television wasn’t like those guys. He was sweet and had had a tough time. He didn’t deserve to be treated the way Tomas treated men, even if Jesse thought that’s what he wanted.

By the time he pushed open the door from his bedroom into the living room, Jesse had twisted into the fetal position on the couch, and fallen asleep.

“Jess?” Tomas touched his arm, trying to shake him awake. He needed to get Jesse off the couch long enough to unfold it into a bed.

“Hmm?” Jesse flopped onto his other side, almost falling off in the process.

Tomas shook his head. “All right.” He went to the other side of the loveseat and worked his arms under Jesse’s knees and shoulders. “Up you go.” He lifted.

Waking up, Jesse wrapped his arms around Tomas’s neck.

He smelled like soap from Tomas’s shower, overlaid on the scent of ashes. Jesse pressed a kiss into his shoulder.

“You can take my bed tonight,” Tomas whispered. He tried to ignore the throbbing in his belly and the urge to set Jesse down and lie on top of him.

When he laid Jesse on the bed, Jesse didn’t let go. “I could be rocking your world right now,” Jesse breathed in his ear.

Soundlessly, Tomas gasped. He couldn’t leave the circle of Jesse’s arms. Jesse was stronger than he realized, and in that moment, Tomas was far too weak.

Jesse pulled him down, gaze burning with excitement, all tiredness washed away in wild heat.

“You already are.” Tomas brushed his lips across Jesse’s mouth. It was his first time kissing a man, but far from the first time he’d wanted to.

Jesse smiled against his lips. “Smooth talker.” He toyed with Tomas’s chain, slithering in a way that made it impossible for Tomas not to reach down and cup his ass. Jesse’s erection prodded at Tomas’s hip.

Tomas had never touched a guy’s prick and certainly never gotten close enough to feel one poking his belly. He couldn’t believe how hot it got him.

“So, not-exactly-straight guy. What do you like to do?” Jesse slid his hands under Tomas’s shirt, slowly, like he was asking permission.

“I like that.” Tomas wasn’t sure if he wanted to lay out all his rules with Jesse the way he did with guys at the club. He was breaking half of them already.

Jesse kissed his way up Tomas’s neck, and then licked around the shell of his ear. “Well, I have some ground rules.” Jesse gave Tomas’s shoulders a squeeze. “No sex.”

Palming Jesse’s nape, Tomas pulled him into a rough kiss. With the hand still on Jesse’s hip, he dragged Jesse closer so he could grind with abandon. “I don’t go down.”

Jesse pulled off Tomas’s shirt. He wiggled lower to kiss his way across Tomas’s chest. Grinning, Jesse looked up from under light brown eyelashes. His eyes were a color Tomas couldn’t name. Like green, brown, gray and blue had fought for supremacy but had called a truce. “I would have been shocked if you said you did.”

Wanting to prove he wasn’t homophobic, Tomas shoved his hand down Jesse’s pants.

Jesse’s cock wasn’t huge, but it was hard and smooth. The skin was tighter than on his own. Tomas guessed Jesse was circumcised, and that was the difference.

He liked feeling it, stroking it. Tomas liked it a lot more than he’d thought he would.

“Um, hon?” Jesse closed his hand over the top of Tomas’s through the material of his sweatpants. With a quick kiss to Tomas’s lips, he said, “A little rough.”

“Oh.” Tomas slowed down what he was doing, rubbing Jesse more gently.

Jesse drew his fingers down Tomas’s pecs and over his belly. He toyed with the sparse hair that pointed in a V into his jeans. “You okay with me doing the same?” Jesse teased a fingertip along the edge of Tomas’s jeans, making him suck in his stomach, making him crazy.

For maybe the first time ever, Tomas wanted to do more. Wanted to do everything. He was glad they’d already agreed to keep things within bounds. “Yeah.” He arched his hips.

Jesse unfastened Tomas’s jeans, his hands a lot less practiced than Tomas would have expected. Given the way he kissed, Tomas had thought Jesse was experienced, like the boys Tomas met at the clubs.

Something about Jesse’s face when he touched Tomas let him know—Jesse wasn’t as forward as he pretended to be. Jesse’s touch was too awkward and his eyes too wide and nervous.

“Come here.” Tomas dragged him closer, until neither one of them could keep up their strokes. He wasn’t sure what Jesse had done with other men, but that hint of innocence set Tomas off, made his chest ache.

Tomas rolled on top and gave in to his need to thrust, to feel the press of Jesse’s body while he kissed Jesse with every bit of his desire.

Jesse whimpered, and he struggled underneath to push down his pants. With them out of the way, Tomas could feel Jesse’s prick alongside his own, burning skin against skin.

“Fuck.” Jesse touched Tomas’s hips and lower to his ass. His grip was gentle but urgent, goading Tomas to go faster. Jesse’s cock leaked precome that mixed with Tomas’s and blended into sweat between their bodies.

Tomas palmed Jesse’s thigh, dragging his leg up. He could feel more this way—Jesse’s balls, the tender insides of Jesse’s thighs. He’d never felt more like a man than he did at that moment, pounding into Jesse’s hips and feeling a lover’s erection grinding his belly.