From The Wreckage - Complete (12 page)

"He's supposed to ride with me and my parents. He'll be back in the morning," she explains; her voice cracking, but managing to hold the tears at bay. 

West nods. "Okay then. I'll be there too." He leans down and presses a warm kiss to her cheek, which surprises her. "I'll be the one mentally holding this hand," he murmurs, and lifts her fingers to his lips.

"The magical hand?"

"Yeah, the very magical hand. I told you it was my anchor."

They stand there for a moment before he backs up one step and then another. Their arms stretch out as the width between them grows, but their hands stay connected.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Buffy," he promises, and their hands pull apart slowly. Jules watches his fingers slide from hers as if in slow motion. Then she turns and walks to her front door, looking back once to see West standing there watching her. When she reaches her front door she gives him a wave as he climbs on his bike and fastens the helmet.

While waiting for him to take off, she feels her phone vibrate in her small purse. She pulls out the phone as West turns into the street. Swiping the lock key, she finds a text from Stuart waiting for her and frowns. Another text. She hasn't spoken to him since Sunday. Three days. It’s akin to a world record for them.

Stuart: Got some cool news today. I'll be driving back tomorrow for the funeral but might be later than expected. Meet you there?

Jules: Sure 

She feels a nagging guilt in the pit of her stomach and adds an 'I miss you' to the end of her text. She has no idea what’s going on with her and West, but she hates what she knows is happening with her and Stuart.

When he doesn’t reply right away she walks into the house, kicks her dress sandals off at the door, pulls her purse off and tosses it on the table in the foyer.

"Jules!" Jason yells as he runs down the stairs and throws himself at her.

"Hey buddy. Where's Mom and Dad?"

"Out back. Where were you?"

"Just out, bud. What's for dinner?"

He shrugs his shoulders and keeps his hands firmly attached to her hips. 

"What have you been doing today? Did you get to see any of your friends?"

"No."

"No? Sorry, bud."

"It's okay, I didn’t want to go out anyway. There's a twenty percent chance of rain today, with isolated thunderstorms moving in this evening."

Jules bites her lip and forces a smile as she messes with his shaggy hair. "There is, huh? Wow, you're getting good at being a weatherman. Maybe you'll grow up to be one."

"Maybe," he agrees with another little shrug. "Then I could tell everyone when tornadoes are coming before they come, right?"

Jules starts to tell him they
did
know, but she knows he won’t understand. "Of course you could."

She leans down and picks him up in a Hulk hug, which makes him squeal. Once she hears his laugh ring out, she puts him down again; happy to see a smile on his face, if only for a moment.

"I'm going to go talk to Mom and Dad and I'll check on dinner."

"Okay. Tell them to come inside before seven-thirty."

"Seven-thirty?"

"Yep. Storm percentage moves to forty percent at seven-thirty," he calls over his shoulder as he trudges up the stairs.

Shaking her head, Jules walks onto the back patio where her parents are drinking wine and talking. Her mother gets up immediately, crossing over to pull Jules into a powerful hug.

"Hi baby, you doing good?" she asks, placing a kiss on her head. 

"It was good. A lot of people were there. Jase recited the forecast for me when I walked in."

Her parents exchange glances. "We know."

"Okay, well he wants me to make sure you come in at seven-thirty because there’s a forty percent chance of rain. Does he not remember how perfect the weather was that night?"

"Hun, he's scared. He's young and doesn't understand."

"I know."

Her dad takes a long sip from his wine. His eyes are heavy; dark from sleepless nights and long days of recovery work. Thankfully his office building wasn’t damaged, but their company gave everyone the week off with pay to help with clean-up efforts and be available for their families.

He has been working from sun-up to sun-down all week. Her mom has been cooking meals for families who lost loved ones or who were still in shelters while waiting on home placements. As she looks at their tired faces, she wishes she could do more as well. She's been so immersed in her own grief this week, she hasn't thought about what she can do to help others.

"I want to volunteer to help with rebuilding or something."

Her dad smiles at her softly. "Honey that's great, but with your concussion and all the funerals, you really need to be careful that you don’t overdo it."

"How about next week? After my next doctor’s appointment and once the funerals are done? There's so much that needs to be done and I want to help."

"I'm sure we can find something for you to do. Let's get through this week and see what the doctors say. Don't forget you'll be starting school soon, too."

"Speaking of, have they made any decisions on that yet?" Jules asks, looking between her parents.

"Not yet, honey. There are so many decisions to be made."

"At this point I won't be graduating until July." She is exasperated because she knows every day they push off the school year is another day into the summer she'll be in class. 

"They'll make the best decision they can, Jules. You know, in Joplin they’re still going to school in the mall."

"Well that might not be so bad. Imagine all the shopping I could get done."

"Just what my wallet needs," her dad mutters with a frown and winks at her playfully. 

"Oh! Before I forget, Stuart is going to meet us at the funeral tomorrow, so we don't have to wait for him." 

"How are his parents? Did you get to talk to him?"

"Nope, another text." She gives another big sigh and her mom sends her a sympathetic smile.

"I spent the afternoon with West."

"Rutledge?" her dad asks; sitting forward and holding his now empty wine glass.

"Honey, how many boys do we know named West?"

Jules grins at her mother’s reply. "Yes, Rutledge. He dropped me off."

"You should have invited him in. I’d like to see him again. To thank him," her dad offers.

"Maybe next time." She shrugs her shoulders and stands. It doesn’t register in her brain that she automatically assumes there will be a next time. "You know what? I'm gonna jump in the shower. I'm exhausted today, and then tomorrow..." She trails off and looks at the knowing looks on her parents’ faces. "Well, tomorrow's going to be hell."

"Alright, baby girl. I thought we'd do breakfast for dinner. I'll start the pancakes in a few minutes to give you time to clean up."

"Jason will like that." She smiles and leaves her parents behind. Climbing the stairs, she pokes her head into Jason's room and smiles at the mess he's made. He built a fort surrounded by pillows and blankets in the corner of his room, and she can hear him talking to himself and playing in there.

"Hey bud, mom’s making breakfast for dinner. Why don't you go help her?"

"’Kay!" his little voice calls out from inside the fort.

Jules steps into her room and locks her door before stripping off her dress and turning the shower on. She looks at the pictures scattered on her floor while waiting for the water to heat up. Earlier, she pulled together piles of pictures for Tanya's mom to use at the funeral tomorrow. Scanning the floor, one catches her eye and she slides a few out of the way as she bends down and pulls out a picture from the year-ending sixth grade pool party. It was a group photo, and a smile crosses her lips as she surveys the assembled kids. There she is in the front with her arms slung around Katie and Tanya, and the other middle school cheerleaders are lined up in the same pose on either side of them. They are surrounded by boys sitting below them and standing behind them, and Jules laughs as she looks at Jeff with his tow-headed spikes and Tommy with his signature crooked Dallas Cowboys hat. He flashes peace signs on either side of Susan Madoff's head, and Susan looks to be yelling at him.

She looks back at herself for a moment. Her hair was lighter back then, and pulled up into a side ponytail. Of course, that was the style when she was twelve. She remembers the little black and white halter top tankini she wore as if it was yesterday. She loved that suit. Katie and Tanya, with their matching hairstyles, have their heads butted up against Jules and all three of them have huge grins on their faces. They have always been the three musketeers. Remembering the water is running, she starts to put the picture down when her eye catches sight of a dark, wavy mop of hair two heads over and behind hers. She could identify that messy head in her sleep. It belongs to West, and in the picture he is staring right at her with that half-grin on his lips.

Later that night, she is sitting on her bed looking through a few more pictures from the pool party, ones with West in them, when her mom knocks once before she opens the door and walks in.

"Dad and I are turning in, pumpkin." 

Jules gives her a distracted, 'Okay'.

"Whatcha’ looking at?" she asks as she sits on the edge of Jules’ bed. Her eyes light up as she picks up a picture. "Look at you! Look at all of you…when was this?"

"Summer before seventh."

"Did you talk to Stuart tonight?"

"Nope."

"Is there something going on with you two, Jules?"

"I don't know...maybe."

"Oh hun, you've been through a huge, life-changing moment. We all have. Give it a little time."

"I know. And I know he's hurting too, but if I'm honest with myself, we were struggling before this."

"You were?" Her brows rise in mild shock at the confession. Her parents love Stuart.

"Yeah. Honestly, I think we're more friends now than a couple anymore. There's not much of a spark, and we've already discussed how we're most likely going to different colleges and neither of us wants a long distance relationship."

"Sweetie, that's a year away. Neither of you need to be thinking about it right now." Jules feels her face fall and her mother narrows her eyes. "Unless…?" she prods, obviously sensing there is more at play right now. 

"I feel so wrong for feeling this way. He's always been the best boyfriend; respectful of me, gets along with you, with my friends, smart, cute — everything I should want..."

"But?"

"
But
I tried to kiss West today."

"You what?"

Jules covers her face in embarrassment. "I know, I know. I shouldn't have."

Her mom pulls her hands away from her face and holds them tightly in her own. "Jules, why did you try to kiss him?"

"I think maybe he's crushed on me for years. Years, mom! He looks at me and I melt. I know it's wrong. I have a boyfriend who I shouldn't be screwing around on."

"Ummm, language and explanation, please," she asks, suddenly very stern. Jules realizes how crude her comment probably sounded.

"Not literally, Mom. There's no screwing of any sort going on, promise," she rushes to explain, and then cringes; knowing her mother hates when she uses crass words. "Sorry."

"Jules, I’ll tell you what my mother once told me. Give it time."

"Give it time? That's your big spiel?"

"Yes. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's really all you need. Honey, maybe you and Stuart aren't meant to be, and if you're not you'll know. West saved your life. Of
course
you're feeling something for him right now. Give it time. Allow yourself to get some sort of normalcy back, and then you can make better decisions."

"Is it wrong for me to be thinking of him? Of West, I mean. Like, all the time?"

"Sweetie, they're your feelings, so they can't be wrong. It's what you do with them that makes all the difference, but you have the right to feel what you feel."

Jules leans in and hugs her neck. "Now
those
are words of wisdom. I love you, momma."

"I love you too, pumpkin, so much. Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day."

"Yeah, I don't know how I'm going to do it. I can't cry anymore, you know. It's like I'm numb, but I miss her so much."

Her mom picks up the picture with Tanya and Katie making faces at the camera. "You'll always carry these memories in your heart, baby. As for tomorrow, you’ll get through it. We
all
will, and then we’ll get through the next day and the one after that. This whole town will; minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. We will keep going.”

Jules picks up a small frame sitting by her chair and holds it up to the camera. It is a four-by-six frame with an artistically scripted quote on it.

“‘Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. You will keep going’," she reads aloud before placing the frame back down. "I've used that advice so many times. It’s probably the most relevant piece of advice I've ever gotten in my life," she admits.