Full Circle (2 page)
“How does seven sound?”
Max took the paper, folded it, and stuck it in his shirt
pocket. “I’ll be there. And I can’t thank you enough for this.”
He seemed so sincere. He was truly grateful. Jaylin smiled
again as he set about gathering his books, and when he
looked up, he was surprised to find Max was still there,
seemingly waiting for him.
Backpack already slung over his shoulder, he waited at
the door. Jaylin decided not to question it when Max
followed him out into the hall and began walking with him,
as if he had done so a thousand times.
Maybe he feels like he has to be extra nice to me now. I
suppose I should somehow tell him he doesn’t have to pretend
he’s my friend, but I kinda like being close to him, even if
there isn’t anything sexual about it. And what the hell? I can
make a memory here and later I can turn it into some sexy
and wanton daydream about Max pushing me into the lockers
and kissing me until my toes curl.
“Have you heard about the party tomorrow night?”
Surprised, Jaylin glanced at Max, even as he fished
around his pants pocket for his always misplaced keys. “The one Bonnie Keller is throwing?”
“Yeah. Her parents are out of town on some second
honeymoon and she has the house all to herself for a whole
week.”
“Sweet.”
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“Are you going?”
“To Bonnie’s party?”
“Well, yeah.”
“I don’t really…. I don’t go to a lot of parties.” Especially those hosted by a cheerleader who was a complete bitch to
any and everyone who didn’t belong to her precious social
group.
“I’ve noticed. I mean, I don’t really ever see you outside
of school.”
“Guess I’m kinda antisocial.”
“Hardly. I know you have a lot of friends. And I think
you should go tomorrow night.”
“I don’t….”
“I could give you a ride, if you like. It wouldn’t be a big deal.”
They reached the doors, which Max opened and held for
him, and as they stepped into the chilled winter afternoon
Jaylin was grateful for the blast of cold air. He really needed a cold shower, or maybe bath in a tub filled with ice or
maybe, he reasoned, he needed to have a lobotomy, because
it sounded like Max was asking him out.
That’s not possible. Don’t read too much into this. He’s
being nice. He’s not gay!
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Trying to think how to respond and not sound like the
biggest dork ever, Jaylin didn’t realize someone was
approaching them, until he heard a loud, obnoxious laugh.
Looking up, he groaned when he saw Trent Miller and
two other guys, Lane Turner and Hank Morgan, standing a
few feet away, arms folded over their chests, eyes filled with scorn. All three were jocks, but unlike Max, they were
stereotypical jerks and Trent was one of the few that tended to make snide remarks whenever he saw Jaylin.
He was even more prone to arrogance and ignorance
when he had an audience.
“Well, well, well. Look what we have here.” Trent
smirked as he looked from Max to Jaylin, to Max again.
“Care to tell the class just what this is all about, Maxie?
Since when do you hang around prissy little fags like Jaylin here?” Naturally, Trent puffed out his chest in delight when Lane and Hank laughed, but it was Max’s reaction Jaylin
watched closely, mostly because he was curious as to how
Max would handle the teasing.
All three guys were built, certainly strong, but Max had
a few inches and at least thirty pounds on all of them.
“Fuck off, Trent,” Max snapped, clearly tense.
“What? I’m just asking a question. I’ve never seen you
with the fag before.”
“Better a fag than a brainless, knuckle-dragging
caveman.” It likely wasn’t wise to smart off, but Jaylin wasn’t 12
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in the mood for Trent’s insults and, to his surprise, Max
laughed loudly while Trent turned red and glared.
“What the fuck are you laughing at, Sydney?”
“Oh, what he said. Calling you a brainless caveman?
That was funny. And true.” Max turned to grin at Jaylin. “He does kinda look like a caveman, doesn’t he?” His eyes
danced with laugher and Jaylin smiled back, forgetting Trent for a moment, until Trent barked his name and he looked at
the other guy again.
“You want to start with me, boy? I’ll kick your fag ass.”
“You’ll have to get past me to do it.” Max took a step
forward. “I’m not shittin’ here. If you want to lay a hand on Jaylin, you go through me to do it. And I’m willing and ready to kick your ass all over this parking lot, so just take a
swing, Trent.” His voice was icy, dangerous, and Jaylin held his breath as he watched the exchange, knowing he should
be annoyed that Max felt he had to stand up for him. But
more than anything, he was impressed.
Trent’s afraid of him and he should be. Max could
seriously hurt him.
For a brief moment, Trent tried to stare Max down, but
he finally looked away and shook his head slowly.
“Not worth it.”
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
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Trent ignored that, turning his glare to Jaylin. “Max
won’t always be around.” It was a clear threat, but Jaylin
just shrugged and smiled and showed no fear, which seemed
to make Trent all the more angry, as he turned and stomped
away with his lackeys trailing behind him.
“I’m sorry about that.”
Jaylin shook his head. “Forget it. He makes comments
like that from time to time.”
“He has no right.”
“He’s a prick.”
“Tell me about it.”
They began walking again, toward the parking lot. “I get
why he hates me, but you two have been teammates for
years….”
“So why does he hate me?”
“You can tell me it’s none of my business. That’s cool.”
“It’s not a secret. Basically, Trent’s always second
string.”
“And you’re not.”
He’s jealous and he should be. He can’t
hold a fucking candle to Max and he knows it and he knows
everyone else sees it too.
“I should have figured that one out.” He glanced at Max again, feeling another warm rush,
admiring how the wind had made a mess of his hair, leaving
a few stray locks falling over his forehead.
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I am in so much trouble. How can I tutor him and not
jump him? I can’t stop thinking about him naked and wrapped
around me and if he knew I was thinking that, he wouldn’t
defend me. He would likely help Trent kick my ass.
“It’s more than that, really. His dad and my dad grew up
together. And they weren’t what you could call friends. Kinda like me and Trent; they were always competing and, more
often than not, his dad came out on top, so he gets the same kind of pressure from home that I do.” He laughed, but it
was a humorless sound. “My dad insists on nothing but the
best. Anything less is a failure, which is the reason I really need your help. My grades are important because I need
them to get into Duke.” He didn’t sound thrilled or excited at the possibility of attending a university as prestigious and well-respected as Duke, but Jaylin figured Duke wasn’t
Max’s choice.
It was his father’s school and therefore Max was
expected to attend. Thinking about how limiting such
expectations could be, Jaylin was grateful anew for his
mother and her willingness to allow him to pick his own
dreams.
“Where do you want to go to college?”
The question pulled Jaylin from his thoughts and he
shrugged. “I don’t know. I like it here and I know it would be easier to attend college close to home.”
“But….”
“Juilliard. Cliché, right?”
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“Not at all! I bet you could get in.”
“It’s pretty competitive.”
“So? Jaylin, you’re really good. Any college would take
you.”
Right now, I couldn’t care less about college. I would be
perfectly content to have you take me in the backseat of my
car.
“Thanks, but….”
“You should have more confidence in yourself.”
“I have confidence. I just can’t get my hopes up. I need
to be logical.”
“We might have to do something about that.”
They had reached Jaylin’s car, a used SUV, and Jaylin’s
heart kicked in his chest as he turned and looked at Max,
who was smiling down at him with something warm in those
brown eyes that Jaylin knew he could easily get lost in. And Max was standing close. Less than six inches separated
them and Jaylin told himself it was insane, but had he been dealing with anyone other than star jock Max Sydney, he
would have sworn a serious vibe existed. He had never felt so drawn, so connected to anyone. It frightened him more than
a little, but he liked it as well, and he wondered why this had to be happening to him now and with Max Sydney, of all
people.
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Sure, he had daydreamed about the guy, but this was
different.
This felt real.
If he wasn’t careful, he could fall and fall hard for Max
and that would be a dozen and one different kinds of bad. He had really hoped he would make it to college before
developing an intense crush on anyone and he had really
hoped his first crush would be on someone he could pursue
for a real relationship.
“I need to get home. But I’ll see you tonight.”
“I’ll be there. And I want to say thanks again, Jaylin. It
means a lot to me.”
“It’s no big deal. Really. I’m happy to help.”
Needing distance, he opened the door, tossed his books
into the passenger seat and crawled into the SUV, sliding the key into the ignition.
Before closing the door, he glanced at Max again and
their eyes locked and held and Jaylin felt a fluttering in his chest.
There’s no “I could fall” about it. I’ve already fallen hard
for him.
Stepping back so Jaylin could close the door, Max
smiled and waved and Jaylin forced himself to look away. He had the almost overwhelming urge to pull Max into the SUV
and kiss him. It was beyond insane to even consider such a
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thing, but a part of him was beginning to wonder if maybe
Max wouldn’t exactly reject such an advance. Maybe Max
wasn’t straight. Or maybe he was straight but curious or
confused. Just because he hadn’t had any problems figuring
out he was gay didn’t mean it was that cut and dry for other guys, especially guys like Max, who were expected to be
macho and sexually eager.
Don’t be stupid. And don’t get your hopes up. He’s just
being nice. It might seem like he’s flirting, but flirting is second
nature to a guy like Max and it’s likely he doesn’t realize he’s
even doing it, so get over yourself, Jaylin.
That thought firmly in mind, Jaylin waved at Max once
more with a trembling hand before he put the car in gear
and pulled out of the parking lot.
He needed to get himself together and he knew it. He
was smart. He had common sense, and while he didn’t have
much experience yet, when it came to relationships and sex
as a gay man, he did know falling for a straight guy was
pretty much the stupidest thing he could do.
Max had come to him because he needed help with
Biology and Jaylin assured himself he could and would help
him without making a fool of himself and without letting his crush get completely out of hand.
He didn’t try to tell himself he wouldn’t daydream or
picture Max whenever he jacked off.
Everyone had a right to indulge in a little naughty
fantasy from time to time.
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BY the time Jaylin made it home, he was nearly a nervous
wreck, the speech he had given himself forgotten.
He was truly terrified he had gotten in over his head. He
had tutored people in the past, and he was around good-
looking guys all the time. At school. During track meets. But he had never been knocked off balance by anyone; he had
never felt so out of sorts and lightheaded. Just being around Max turned his brain to mush and sent all the blood in his
body rushing to his cock, which didn’t seem to understand
that Max really wasn’t an option.
He really wished he could talk to someone, but as much
as he loved his mother, he couldn’t bring himself to discuss such matters with her. And she was out of town. She
wouldn’t be back until late tomorrow night. While he had a
number of friends, he didn’t want any of them to know he
had feelings for Max Sydney.
Disgusted and annoyed with himself, he decided to put
the two hours he had before Max’s arrival to good use.
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A long shower helped ease some of his tension and after
he changed into old jeans and a T-shirt, he went downstairs and sat down at the piano.
Nothing relaxed him as music did. When he played, he