Fur Magic Boxed Set: Talisman, Sage, Fawn, Lola: Paranormal Romantic Comedy (11 page)

“Hey, Penelope,” Ami gushed as her and Eldris blew through the front door. Why did she have to crash Pen’s date just when Dr. Luke had started to get romantic? Didn’t she understand about True Love’s Kiss?

She pointed over at me and I slinked down even further in to the cushiony leather of my pink booth. “Isn’t that flag dude? Stalk much?” She was referring to the time she caught me morphed without my clothes on and I had to rip off an American flag to cover my admirable assets.

I glanced up underneath my lowered eyelashes just in time to see Pen let out a gasp of surprise. Then fascination. No. I didn’t want her distracted by me. I was just here trying to protect her and making sure Dr. Luke was on the way to getting the job done.

Ami didn’t even stop to draw a breath but stomped to my booth to tower over me, leaving Eldris standing at Pen’s table with his mouth agape.

“Hot dude,” she said as she took a giant step backwards and pinched her pug nose with her fingertips. Her next statement sounded like a female version of Kermit the Frog. “When’s the last time you showered?”

I stared. Not because I couldn’t speak. Well … that too. How droll.

By this time, the rest of their foursome had approached to stand behind Ami. Dr. Luke stepped forward, hand outstretched. “Have we met?”

I shook his hand and then crossed my arms over my chest. Ami continued to squint and fan herself from the stench. It couldn’t be that bad. Could it? Next time I needed to morph, I had to come up with a better plan for a wardrobe. It didn’t need to be Armani but it needed to be clean and not smell like the local sewage plant.

Since this might be the only time in the near future that I had the two of them together, I took the opportunity to point back and forth between Pen and Dr. Luke. I started to see stars and I had to get my message across before I had to escape to the men’s room. I glanced down at my amulet and the jade green color had faded to citrine. I didn’t have much time.

“What the hell are you trying to say, cutie patootie?” Ami asked. “You’ve never been very articulate. Are you the victim of some tragic vocal cord calamity?”

I nodded. Best they think that my muteness was the result of some type of medical issue. I puckered my full, lush, human lips and make some loud smacking kisses as I pointed at Dr. Luke and Penelope. Then I made the universal signal for speed with my right hand.

Ami cocked her head to one side and flung a hand on her ample hip. “Pen, I think he wants to kiss you.”

No. No. No.

Dr. Luke puffed his chest up like Feather Locklear, Pen’s pet chicken. A residual effect of the Melrose Place years. Poor damn bird.
He
wasn’t even a female. Crowed his displeasure at his ridiculous name each morning at precisely five-thirty when handsome cats need their beauty sleep.

Pen peered around Dr. Luke and before he could put out a strong arm to stay her, she slid next to me on the booth’s bench and kissed me on the cheek. Then, she stood up and fled the store with a confused look on her beautiful face.

Backfire. Again.

Dr. Luke looked like he wanted to kill me while Ami and Eldris laughed together. I shrugged my shoulders as I stood, shook my head in the negative and ran to the bathroom before my secret became front page news for the Elias Stout client newsletter and my kitty carcass hung from the nearest cactus.

Chapter 9

“What in the hell did you do to my nail tech, you incompetent bitch?” Bianca Chokecherry stamped a tiny, Jimmy Choo-clad foot as she snorted fire out her plastic surgery enhanced nose. She held out her crimson red claws. The color of The Scarlet Letter. Perfect for an evil harlot such as Bianca.

“Bianca,” Pen replied with a shocked look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Pen sat outside the Coffee Hut, nursing her Hazelnut Latte while Lola and I basked in the early morning sun. Before it got too hot for any kind of life form that wasn’t from the plant family of Cactaceae.

“Kara Moir.” Bianca stood there waiting as if we were all addled and should understand her confused ramblings.

“Bianca,” Pen said as she hissed a breath through her teeth and gripped her plastic coffee cup like she wanted to smash it so hard the iced contents would shoot through the air. “I haven’t seen Kara since she adopted a cat from me last week.”

“Right, Penelope,” Bianca spat. “She adopted that damn cat and now she’s following some stranger around town like one of your stray dogs. She cancelled my standing appointment this week and now my fingernails look ragged. Do you know what men think of single women who don’t take care of themselves?”

I wonder what your conquests would think if they knew you were a witch. An evil one who casts spells on them daily in order to keep them around.

“I’m sorry, Bianca,” Pen sighed. “But I really had nothing to do with it. Kara and Chase happened to come to the shelter to look over the adoptable pets at exactly the same time. They must have really hit it off. It happens.”

Bianca stepped closer to Pen’s table and towered over her. She stared like she knew something. Knew that Pen had cast that love spell on Kara and Chase and she didn’t like it. Probably didn’t like it enough to cast another one tearing the new couple apart. Bianca’s powers were stronger right now and I wondered why she hadn’t just done that in the first place instead of stomping over to the coffee house to make a public scene. Unless … a public scene was part of Lucinda’s master plan. If Lucinda started feeding rumors around town then Elias Stout would do her dirty work for her.

As if the bird man of Alcatraz had been summoned from the latest shit hole, Stout appeared at the stoplight on the corner of Cactus and Lime and hit the button to cross. If only that same sex-crazed driver that had flattened me would come careening by right now all our problems would be solved. But alas, his crane-like legs carried him safely across the street and right in to the line of sight of Bianca and Penelope who were still in the middle of their stare-down.

“Why, Miss DeLacroix and Miss Chokecherry,” he said as he approached Pen’s table to stand beside Bianca. “What a pleasant surprise on such a beautiful morning. The company is even more glorious than the weather.”

Pen took a quick sip of her latte and Bianca rolled her eyes to the beautiful blue sky that Stout was pontificating about as if she wanted those same heavens to swallow her up to escape him.

“Elias.” Pen acknowledged him with a slight nod of her head.

“Can I join you?” Stout asked.

Lola took that opportunity to snuggle in closer to me. Since I’d told her that Stout was bad news, she tried to keep her distance.

Pen stood. “Actually, we were just leaving.”

“We?” Stout looked from Penelope to Bianca, surprised at the reference. Then his beady little eyes narrowed as he noticed Lola a few feet away from the table, laying in a spot of shade that she’d found in order to protect my black coat. “Ah, I see. You brought your feline friends with you again. I’m surprised those cats are so obedient. One would think they might wander out in to the road and get struck by an errant vehicle.”

Stout’s speeches sometimes were so dead on, you had to wonder if he had some type of warped intuition. But I knew he was a mere mortal and had no idea I’d already been hit by two trucks in the space of a month.

“They’re very obedient, Elias,” Pen replied. “And they’ve learned over the years to stick close to me or they won’t be allowed to leave the property. I’d be devastated if anything ever happened to one of my pets.”

Stout glanced over and locked eyes with me. I felt Lola shiver. “Yes, that would be … devastating.” If I stood still long enough, I could almost hear Vincent Price’s diabolical laughter echo off the red rocks and slice back in to my soul like an errant boomerang.

“I’m heading back home because today is house cleaning day,” Pen said. “See you later, Elias and Bianca.” She gave the two her back and Lola and I trotted behind to jump in to the SUV. Right before I was about to hop up in to the cargo hold, I glanced back over my shoulder. Stout was still standing on the curb glaring. I need to be on high alert and there was no doubt about it.

Chapter 10

“Are you sure that goat isn’t on speed?” Chase shook his head as he leaned against Casper’s pen with his arms crossed. “It’s acting like it has a screw loose.”

Kara chuckled as she watched Casper parkour tight circles around the dirt pile, every few steps jumping straight up in to the air. During the next loop around his beaten path, he stopped mid-air and grabbed a tin can in his bearded mouth to crunch it between his teeth.

You look like you need a haircut, missy. Lean any closer to the edge of the fence and I’ll parkour myself straight through the air to grab myself a delicious mouthful of long blonde curly Qs.

Goat, you are a boil on the ass of all polite society.

“Look, Chase,” Kara pointed. “There’s that gorgeous owl again.”

“I just hope this time he doesn’t dive bomb my head,” Chase laughed as he crouched low and pretended to tuck himself into the defense position for incoming fire.

As the coupled chatted, Chase’s new dog, Trainor, romped about the property until Mr. Oats lifted his head and let out a disgusted nicker.

Miss Penelope needs to get ‘er behind out here and stop this infernal racket. Between the dog and the goat, it’s upsetting my equine sensibilities.

I took that opportunity to jump on the split rail fence and perch myself atop the cedar post. Still. Like a statue. Not only would it keep every human and animal from upsetting the aged horse, but it gave me a really good view of the entire premises in case something strange happened. My fur had been standing on end with regularity ever since the discussion with Bianca outside the Coffee Hut.

There was something brewing and it wasn’t caffeinated. Lucinda plotted something behind the scenes and I could feel it. I knew it. From my seat on the post, I noticed when the door to the house opened and Pen slipped through with Ami lagging behind. Ami had been sticking around more. Like her reporter instincts were letting her know that was a wise idea.

Pen gave a flirty wave as she rushed forward to greet Chase and Kara. “Hello, you two. I’m so glad you came back to the shelter to meet the other animals. It’s too bad it was already dark the last time you were here.”

In the darkness you will only find Shadow Watchers and evil.

Seriously, Beefcake, you sound like an episode of Dark Shadows.

I was so intent on watching Penelope and making sure she was safe, I hadn’t noticed that Lola had jumped to sit on the post beside me and Mr. Oats was nuzzling her silky fur. He let out a horse-sized sneeze.

Why, Miss Lola … yer fur sure is purty.

Thank you, Mr. Oats.

Lola proceeded to give herself a kitty bath with her paws to get the horse snot off of that same silky fur that the aged horse had just admired.

“Hi, everyone.” Dr. Luke’s deep voice pierced the heated air as he walked toward the group. “How’s that new dog doing Chase?”

As soon as Dr. Luke reached him, Chase clasped his outstretched hand in a firm shake. “He’s great. My mom is really going to love him. He’ll fit right in on her property. Lots of room to run.”

“I’m so glad to hear it,” Dr. Luke replied. “Penelope has a knack for matching up people with the right pet. She rarely gets that wrong.”

Pen blushed and cast her eyes down to the red dirt below Dr. Luke’s tennis shoes. “It’s a gift, I guess,” she mumbled.

“Well, I’m really stoked that I heard about this place,” Chase said. “My mom was adamant that she wanted to adopt an abandoned dog and not get a purebred. She takes her volunteering at the hospital really seriously. I’m really proud of her. I guess that’s why people love her so much. There always seems to be a gathering at her place.”

“I think I’d like your mom a lot,” Pen said. “I hope I can meet her someday.”

“I’m sure she’d love it,” Chase replied. “She usually comes once a year around the holidays to visit her sister. I’ll make sure I come too and we’ll stop by. Maybe I can visit Kara too.”

A fluffy cloud moved across the path of the sun and cast a shadow over the yard. Pen’s face turned skyward, her lips pursed in an oval shape. The sky became even darker. The color of a dead TV and the air crackled with electricity.

“I think a storm’s moving in,” Dr. Luke said. “We better get going and head to the restaurant before the sky unleashes its fury on all of us in the form of a torrential downpour.”

Pen still stood there, like she’d been hit with a stun gun and couldn’t seem to get her limbs to move. The hairs on my back stood straight up. Mr. Oats shied to the left which caused Lola to jump down from her perch next to me.

Pen finally found her voice. Not as strong and clear with her normal melodic tone. No. This Penelope sounded gritty and far away. Almost afraid. “You three go on without me and I’ll catch up in a minute. I want to put Mr. Oats inside the barn just in case it does start raining. You know how he hates it when his coat gets wet. Then he lays down and rolls in the mud and I have to spend an hour with the shedding blade scraping it off.” Her attempt at a laugh ended up sounding like a wounded hyena.

What the hell was going on here?

Hey, Owlcaholic. I think we have a problem. My guess is that the darkness isn’t courtesy of Mother Nature.

I already figured that out, Cat Scratch Fever. Evil is on the air tonight. Something bad is happening but I feel like I’ve lost my owl intuition and instincts. Almost like something cast a spell on me.

But … all the witches and warlocks in this area would have to be present in order to cast a spell over the shelter. Or Penelope. Or us.

True Rain is a reminder of renewal. It washes away the dirt of the soul.

If that’s true, then I say let it rain.

Penelope slid a nylon halter over the head of Mr. Oats and guided him inside to his ten by ten box stall. She slid the door shut behind her and hooked the halter on the metal rod affixed to his door underneath his nameplate. She still had the glazed over look in her eye. Like she wasn’t quite all there.

I trotted after her and Lola wasn’t far behind. Casper and Phoebe had already hunkered down inside he makeshift doghouse that Pen had found at the Goodwill. I could see a flash of white beard through the dusty plastic window. After leaving the barn, the sky turned even darker. Ominous. And green. A putrid shade of puce that I’d never seen before in an Arizona sky in my three hundred years of living here.

Sage soured high above me but the sky was so dark and camouflaged, I could barely make him out. I felt helpless but until something happened to let us know what this was all about, just making sure the animals were getting to shelter had to be the only thing I could do. Pen thought the same thing and once everyone was secure except for me, Lola and Sage, she ordered us to get inside the house and not open the door for anyone. I wondered if she really meant don’t open the door for
anything
?

Lola and I trotted off down the worn path between the shelter and the house like good little kitties, but I had no intention of going inside until I knew exactly what we were dealing with. Once out of Pen’s sight, I turned to Lola and motioned her over to hide with me outside a brittlebush that lined the path. Once you’ve given in to fate, you just have to be calm and let events unfold.

Tali, I’m scared. It’s so dark. And green.

I know. I am too. Let’s just wait here until Sage gets back. I’m sure he’s flying high for a bird’s eye view of what’s happening on land. Someone or something is on the move. I can feel it.

Is that why my fur’s standing on end every thirty seconds?

Probably.

I snuggled in closer in a futile attempt to ease her fear, but my vibration teetered on terror as well so I wasn’t much help. A few minutes passed that seemed like thirty when I heard Sage give out a loud hoot as he glided to a halt in a nearby grapefruit tree.

Well?

I think it’s another Shadow Watcher. I flew the entire perimeter and the darkness has nestled itself over this five acres, but if I fly outside the area, the sky is as blue as Lola’s eyes.

But Pen’s already left to go to dinner with Kara, Chase and Dr. Luke. What could Lucinda want with all of us? We’re just a bunch of animals and none of us have any kind of powers that she’d view as a threat.

No. But we’re important to Miss Penelope. If Lucinda wanted to get to Penelope through any of us, especially the elderly, like Mr. Oats, she could. Penelope would lay down her own life for any of us and the Chokecherrys know that.

What do we do now?

We wait.

Sage cocked his feathered head to the side and every few seconds I noticed his head pivoting around the area like an automatic lawn sprinkler. Lola and I remained on high alert since we were boots on the ground. I focused on the vibrations below my sensitive paws.

A horrified gasp escaped Sage’s beak and he trembled. The first time I’d ever witnessed any sign of weakness in that cocky bird since the fateful day we’d met.

No. No, it can’t be.

It can’t be what. What? What is it?

We have to get in the house now. Nothing can save us unless we can get to the house.

What is it Sage?

Talisman … it’s something I’ve never seen before. Something I wouldn’t believe even existed if I wasn’t seeing it with my own eyes.

Casper let out a squeal so loud it sounded like the gates of hell had opened and Beelzebub himself had unleashed his fury. I peeked around Lola’s quaking body to see this thing for myself. It took everything I had in me not to wet my fur. It stood about twenty yards from the three of us and sniffed the air.

Mmm … I smell goats. My favorite.

It bared long fangs to the evening breeze and the more that thing spit and snarled, the darker the sky became.

We have to get to the house right now, Talisman.

No. We can’t just leave that thing out here to eat Casper. He’s our friend.

It turned its head as if smelling the air again and let out a gleeful snort. Lola was white so it didn’t take him long to spot a glimpse of her silky fur peeking through the twigs of the bush. It crouched low and crept along the path straight for Lola. I remained as still as roadkill which I probably would be in about ten seconds. But Lola didn’t have magic to give her more lives.

I gathered my courage and stepped in to the path to draw its attention.

Sage. I’m going to ask you one more time. What the hell is that thing?

El Chupacabra. The Goat Sucker.

***