Fur Magic Boxed Set: Talisman, Sage, Fawn, Lola: Paranormal Romantic Comedy (21 page)

Chapter 4

The following morning was bright and colder than Sanguine Chokecherry’s grave. An icy breeze blasted through my cat flap, and Lola and I huddled on the sofa in the living room, trying to keep warm and eying out Penelope at the same time.

She was clearly in a state of distress. She’d tied up her raven tresses and had her glasses perched on the tip of her nose. She sat on the edge of her armchair and wrung her hands over and over again.

If only she’d ask for help.
Lola purred softly and snuggled closer to my warm, furry body.

She doesn’t know who to ask and she won’t ask me.
I stretched my front legs and clawed the sofa.
Even though she should. I don’t understand why she didn’t listen to my human form. Especially, since she’s attracted to me that way.

“Don’t Tali,” Penelope said, in exhausted tones.

Dr. Luke could help her.

Dr. Luke… Dr. Luke. That’s it! Lola, you’re a genius!
I sat up straight as an iron rod. Penelope didn’t notice, but Lola shifted and looked up at me.

I know. But why now, specifically?

Because Penelope will ask the good old Dr. for help. She just has to be forced to see him. That’s the key!

I feigned a cat sneeze. Penelope didn’t notice, she didn’t even turn her head in my direction. I sneezed again and again. Five sneezes later and finally Penelope looked at me.

“Are you all right, Tali?”

What do you think?

Penelope rose and walked over to us, then crouched down in front of the sofa and ran her hand over the top of my furry head. I purred, then faked another sneeze for good measure.

“Allergies? Oh, I hope not, I don’t think I can handle anything else at this point.” Penelope picked me up and cradled me in her arms like a baby. I loved every second of it, though I’d never admit that to Sage. “I’ve been neglecting you the past few weeks, haven’t I, Tali? I’ve been so caught up in everything here.”

Up close, my mistress looked worse for wear. She had dark circles beneath her eyes and wore a far off stare which was less dreamy and more ‘I’m about to lose it.’

I sneezed again, because I’m a natural actor and deserve an Oscar, then snuggled up under Penelope’s chin.

“We’d better get you to Dr. Collier. He’ll know what to do about this.”

Success!
I winked at Lola over Penelope’s shoulder.
I’ll be back in a flash, gorgeous. Wait up for me.

I always do, Tali.

I still hadn’t told her about the whole sneaking into the Chokecherry mansion dealie, and I was hesitant because I didn’t want it to happen. I wanted Lola safe and Pen safe and everyone happy.

In a perfect world, perhaps, feline, but this is not a perfect world. This is a world where Damien Chokecherry is allowed to own a firearm. Sage’s wise crack came from overhead. I may have to vote Democrat in the next election.

I thought you were present at the Boston Tea Party?

We were already outside, walking down the path to the sidewalk.

You just can’t resist the ageism, can you?

An opportunity missed creates the opportunity for regret.

That’s a brain teaser.

Implying, of course, that your brain is capable of comprehending it.

I would’ve hissed at him, maybe a few bats with claws out, but he was out of range. At least he’d decided to escort us to Dr. Luke’s in case something nasty happened. Knowing the Chokecherry’s, that was highly likely.

We arrived at the vet five minutes later. Thankfully it was only five minutes, I’d grown tired of fake sneezing on the way there and Penelope had jangled me around to check if I was still conscious.

Which meant, of course, that I’d had to introduce another bout of sneezes and cat coughs.

She opened the door and walked into the reception area. The office was surprisingly quiet, only a half-plucked canary on its owners lap and a Pomeranian which had pissed itself, hiding under a chair. Both owners were sympathetic and semi-disgusted.

Their own fault really, they’d chosen a dog and a bird over the superior feline race. If I do say so myself.

I heard that.
Sage’s telepathy was a lightning bolt sometimes. I hated that he could usually pick up on my wavelengths, even when I wasn’t aware I’d opened myself up to him.

Pen stood in the middle of the room, staring around like she’d finally gone bat-shit cray cray.

The receptionist was away from her desk, probably playing Candy Crush on her cellphone in the bathroom, and the lights on the phone’s base flashed yellow and red.

Luckily, the long-suffering doctor chose that moment to walk out of the examination room, carrying a Shih Tzu with a white plastic cone around its neck. It whined softly and glared at Dr. Luke, then at the old lady which was obviously its owner.

I rest my case. You should see the little yapper down here, Sage.
At least there was some humor to be had in this situation. Some, but not a lot.

I heard that.
The dog speared me with a watery-eyed gaze.
You’re one to talk, shabby cat.

I could almost hear Sage’s tittering laughter from the lamppost outside. I shut out the Shit Zoo and carried on with my goal. To get Pen and Dr. Luke together and talking. How did he know I hadn’t had my weekly bath and brush yet? I knew I didn’t smell the best after the journey to Dagda’s.

I coughed and Penelope turned and hurried toward Dr. Luke, breathing deeply. She had a different kind of faraway look now, the dreamy one that she plastered up whenever he was near. It gave me hope that something really would happen between them, and soon.

Penelope waited patiently for Dr. Luke to hand over the yappy dog to his elderly owner. He looked up and saw her standing there, and voila, the mirror image of Penelope’s lovey-dovey look slid into place on his face.

“Penelope,” he breathed, “it’s wonderful to see you.”

“And you, Dr. Collier, uh, Luke,” she stammered, then stepped closer.

The old lady and her crabby pet walked off, and the door slammed closed behind them a few seconds later.

“How can I help you today? Is everything all right?” Luke looked down at me and his forehead wrinkled. “Talisman doing okay?”

His powers of perception aren’t the strongest. Nice bedside manner though.

As
long as he helps, that’s all that matters,
Sage said, sagely.

“No, he’s got a strange cough today and I thought it would be best to bring him in for a checkup,” Penelope said, and handed me over to the veterinarian. Just like that. She didn’t break down in tears over Amelia or anything.

“Follow me, and we’ll sort this right out.” Dr. Luke spun on his heel and marched me into the examination room, ignoring the protest of the puppy pee expert and the plucked avian owner.

He placed me gently on the table and stroked my back. “I should get the thermometer out.”

I meowed a protest instantly, my nether regions clenching tight. Oh, hell no. I had not signed up for this. Talk about taking one for the team. I’m pretty sure it didn’t involve the rectal thermometer.

“Penelope?” Dr. Luke studied her.

Pen stood in the doorway, with a hand on the knob and the other on her cell. She stared at the screen, even though it was black. “I – what?” She looked up and met his gaze. “Uh, sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.”

Dr. Luke hurried to the door and shut it, then took Penelope’s hand and led her into the room. “All right, what’s going on? I can tell something’s bothering you.”

I sat up and watched, triumph burbling in my belly. Oh yeah, this was the moment of truth.

Good, because it looks like things are about to get really interesting out here.
That came from Sage on the roof.

What do you mean?

“It’s Amelia,” Penelope whispered, tears spilling from those crystal blue eyes and trailing past her bright red lips. “She’s missing and I got a threatening message from –”

Shouts interrupted the rest of Pen’s sentence and my ears flattened. What the hell was going on out there?

Pen and Luke shared a look that matched my internal monologue.

I leapt off the table and ran to the door, then scratched at the bottom. Whatever it was, it had to be serious with all that noise.

You’ve got to see this, Cat-niss.

Chapter 5

Dr. Luke opened the door that led out into the reception area, and I shot outta there like a bat out of hell.

Care to elaborate, Hedwig?

Hedwig was female, you insolent feline.

Sage’s thought came back laced with barbed wire. I’d really pissed him off this time. He’d always believed that owls had gotten a bad reputation thanks to that ‘white floozy with the big eyes’ as he put it.

“Tali, wait!” Penelope called out, after me, but there was no stopping me now. My mistress would simply have to catch up, and catch up quick.

Sage’s initial thought hadn’t sounded too alarmed, more amused actually. That in itself intrigued me. Whatever it was, it couldn’t involve any of the Chokecherry brood.

I padded past the old lady and her temperamental Shih Tzu, and ran head first into the door.

Ouch.

So, there is justice in the world. Don’t worry, kitty claws, it’s just a bump. Probably won’t even leave a mark.

Bite me, Sage.

I see your bite me and raise you a ‘talons to the eyes.’

Duly noted.
I pawed the bottom of the wooden door that led out of Dr. Luke’s office and into the street. He was just down the road from Pen’s favorite coffee shop, as well as the mystical shop that provided crystals and other trinkets for the New Age pagans that liked to visit Shadowkeep.

The owner of that shop didn’t realize a lot of the stuff she stocked was perfect for a budding witch like Penelope. She’d probably have fainted from excitement if she’d found out magic was real.

I meowed up at Penelope.

Seriously, what’s taking so long? The show will be over by the time you get out here.

Ask the bipedals.

Dr. Luke had his hand in the small of Penelope’s back, his wavy hair fluttering in the breeze from the office air conditioner, and he murmured softly. Penelope’s gaze was concerned, her bright blue eyes sparkled with tears. The past week had been too much for her to handle.

She’d truly been through the ringer.

What with Amelia missing and me being fake sick and all. A nugget of guilt wormed around in my brain.

Poor Penelope. I don’t think she’ll be up to getting us to the Chokecherry mansion when she’s like this.

Don’t make me start quoting Justin Timberlake songs, furry balls. We need her sane. You’d better figure it out. I’m bringing sexy back … yeah.

You have the sensitivity of a feather duster.

Finally, Penelope and Dr. Luke reached the door. He opened it for her, still guiding her with care.

“Perhaps you and Talisman had better stay inside. You seem distressed, Penelope. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I-I’m fine,” Pen replied, with a small smile. “Let’s find out what’s going on.”

That was the Penelope I knew and loved. Always inquisitive. Hopefully, she wouldn’t try to cast an ill-advised love spell this time. I would’ve crossed myself if I’d had hands. If I saw her raise her hand even an inch, I’d go airborne, claws bared.

Be prepared to dive bomb her, Sage. She can’t be allowed to do anything stupid.

Dr. Luke pulled the door open halfway, just wide enough for me to slip through. And that’s exactly what I did.

Sunlight hit my fur, scorching out the chill from the blasting air-conditioning in Dr. Luke’s practice. I blinked in the glare and stared around. What I saw made me want to laugh hysterically and shut the door at the same time.

The minute Penelope saw this, she’d blame herself. Or worse, it would remind her that Amelia was gone and she had no clue where to find her.

Eldris, skinny-armed Lord of the Rings lover, the nerd-boy supreme, had Elias Stout in a headlock. They scuffled and yelled things at each other.

There wasn’t a trace of blood or even a bruise, but Eldris’ glasses sat askew on his face and Elias… he sweated pure oil. Greasy, shit weasel that he was.

Now I see what you meant. It could be SRO on Broadway for this shit show.

Sage fluttered off the lamppost and soared toward the roof of the building. He settled onto it and ruffled his feathers.
I fear they’ve reached an impasse.

Meaning?

Meaning they’ve been in the same position for the last three minutes. Neither has the strength to go further.

I snorted and glanced back at the door to the vet. Penelope and Dr. Luke stood there, their jaws dropped at the sight of the two men brawling in the street.

“You bastard!” That was from Eldris. “What have you done with her?”

“I – no – idea – what – talking – about,” Elias Stout choked out the words, his long-fingers digging into the skin of Eldris’ arm. He kicked and wrangled, a weak attempt to break the hold. Nothing gave. “Let – go – me – instant – cretin.”

“Never! Not until you tell me what you’ve done with Amelia. She hasn’t answered her phone all morning, and she hasn’t been home either.”

“Amelia?” Dr. Luke rumbled the question.

“I was going to tell you,” Penelope replied, in a low whisper. “Amelia’s gone missing, Luke, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“It’s okay,” Luke replied, “I’ll help you find her. But first we have to get this sorted out. Are you okay with that?”

Penelope nodded, and the tension eased from her shoulders. Just a few words from Dr. Luke and she was okay. So much for all those purrs and rubs I’d given her. All that kitty support meant nothing, apparently. There was just no pleasing this woman.

Don’t be a sour puss.

Did I ask for your opinion, Mr. I Love Cloaca’s?

Too far, cat patooty, too far. I think I spy a dingleberry hanging from your posterior fur.

Dr. Luke stepped away from Penelope, casting a glance back at her to check she’d be okay. She gave him a nod of encouragement. I walked over to her and sat beside her right ankle to enjoy the rest of the show.

All I need now is some popcorn. Sprinkled with coffee grounds.

“That’s enough!” Luke said, in a clear commanding tone. “You’re making a spectacle of yourselves.”

“He – started – it,” Elias Stout managed.

“No, you did, when you decided to kidnap Amelia.” Eldris wriggled the man’s head around. At least Eldris wasn’t stammering like some kind of handicapped parrot.

Can it truly be called kidnapping when she’s over twenty?

That’s what you’re focused on right now, Sage?

I’m just saying, if you’re going to accuse someone of something, do it right. I think he belongs on the registered sex-offender listing of Arizona.

I rolled my eyes.

A siren
whooped
once, and a member of the local police department puttered around the corner in a cruiser. The flashing lights had a profound effect on both sweaty, red-faced brawlers. Where were cell phone armed teenagers when you needed them?

Viral anyone?

Eldris and Elias popped apart and straightened their clothes, casting threatening looks at each other, then simpering ones at the officer, emerging from the car. Dr. Luke nodded to himself, and walked back to Penelope.

“It looks like the cavalry has arrived. I’m going to stay here for a couple minutes and give a statement. Will you be fine until then? I’ll walk you home afterwards and we can talk all about it.”

“Yes, thank you, Luke,” Penelope breathed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She waited for him to head back to the center of the disturbance – a crowd had gathered and everything – then set off back toward the house.

Uh oh. Here we go again. Looks like Penelope wants to take matters into her own hands, after all. What kind of a wife is she going to be? She should take a cue from Lola. Compliment your man and follow his lead. Good grief.

That is one item on which we agree. I’ve got the aerial view.
Sage took off and swirled around in the air above our heads, circling and swooping along to keep track of our beloved Pen.

Pen balled her hands into fists and marched along with her nose poking out. A determined walk. Her ‘I’m up to no good’ walk. The walk of another life lost for me. Whatever emotion the fight had brought out in her, sadly, it could lead to only one outcome.

Damn.