Fur Magic Boxed Set: Talisman, Sage, Fawn, Lola: Paranormal Romantic Comedy (20 page)

Chapter 2

We can’t do this on our own
. Sage fluffed his feathers outside the sewer pipe. He lifted each foot and shook it in either direction, spraying mud and gunk onto my coat.

Thanks for noticing, Sherlock Holmes.
It came out as more of a hiss. I didn’t want a bath, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to lick the brown globs off my fur.
And what are you talking about, birdbrain?

I’m talking about taking down Lucinda Chokecherry. We can’t do it without human intervention. I’m all for animal rights, more power to the feathers, but we need opposable thumbs to complete this mission.

I beg to differ
. I sniffed the night air. It’d gotten late real quick while we’d been in Cerridwyn’s witchy abode, and Penelope was probably worried sick about me. Lola too. Oh, Lola.

Stop daydreaming about your fluffy, white girlfriend for two seconds and think rationally, Whiskas.

Then make your point so we can get on the damn road. Ami needs us.

I was grumpy as hell after the run in with Papa DeLacroix. I mean, what did Sage expect? Fanfare, happiness, and rainbows? A ticker tape parade? We’d just found out there was a lot of work to be done, and by work I didn’t mean licking myself clean and overeating on kibble and saucers of milk.

Curse Chokecherry and her ancestors.

That was a little too close to the truth. Actually, the opposite of the truth.

Lola can slip into the Chokecherry mansion and –

We’re not using her! I won’t let her be harmed and that’s final, birdie num num.
I thwacked my tail back and forth.

Get over it, Talisman. It’s either her or nobody. We don’t have another cat small enough to fit through Papa DeLacroix’s hole.

Ew. That sounded terrible. Papa DeLacroix’s hole?

I appreciate your baser humor, but now’s not the time.
Sage gave me a headache when he got into this mood.

I flicked my velvety, soft ears back and forward again.
Fine, so if we used Lola we’d be able to get in. I don’t see a problem.

Do you really think dive-bombing and cat-scratching is going to defeat Chokecherry and free Amelia? Get real. Your mind is as dull as your claws if you think that’s the case.

Hey! I sharpen these bad boys every day.
I slid my claws from their sheaths and pointed them at the aged feather bomb.

Doesn’t matter. We have to get the cops involved. Or the gang.

The gang? Penelope’s gang. Dr. Luke and Eldris. They’ll surely be worried about where Amelia’s gotten too, as well.
Sage waddled forward a few steps and spread his wings.

Penelope’s too weak right now.

She’s the only hope we’ve got.
Sage took off and soared toward the cloud-streaked sky. His silhouette disappeared into the darkness.
Think about it. You’ll see I’m right, fur face.

I spent the whole run home thinking about it. How could I not? I mean, I’d have to put my two favorite girls in danger to get things sorted out, and while I’m not one of those knights in shining armor kinda guys, I still like to keep my women safe and in one piece. 

I padded up the path to Pen’s front stairs, anxiety shaking around in my belly like an old tin of tuna fish. Wait a second, that might’ve actually been the tuna I’d debauched on earlier. I wished Jessica Simpson was present to ask me if it was really chicken.

Took you long enough,
Sage sent from his perch atop the house.

I didn’t grace him with a reply, because frankly, I wasn’t in the mood for more of his avian chirps. Instead, I hopped up the front stairs and through the cat flap of the newly repaired door. I shivered at the remembrance of that El Chupacabra beast. May he
not
rest in peace.

The inside of the house was quiet. The guests had left long ago and Penelope sat in her favorite armchair in the living room, staring out the window. I didn’t let her see me.

Perhaps Sage was right. We needed her to kiss Dr. Luke to get rid of the spell, but kissing him wouldn’t bring Amelia back. It might give Pen her powers and strength, sure, but Amelia didn’t have time to wait around for Luke to grow a pair.

Tali
, Lola purred, appearing beside me.
I was worried about you
.

Never fear, doll, I’m always all right. I sniffed the air around me. But Penelope isn’t. I’ve got a job to do. You’d better back up so you don’t get hurt.

Lola did as she was told, padding over to the rickety old entrance hall table and taking up a spot underneath it.

I closed my eyes and prepared for the transformation. I hated this part, and the buzzing in my head afterwards, but I didn’t have much of a choice now. And this would be the first time I’d morphed in front of my girl.

You’re doing the right thing.
Sage’s comment abraded like Edam cheese on a rusty grater, but it comforted me at the same time too.

I changed into the man, the myth, the legend as quick as a flash, then grabbed the table cloth off the entrance hall table and wrapped it around my waist. It was pretty long and dragged behind me.

I strode into the living room, with my train ecru lace in tow, and waved hello to Penelope.

She leapt from the armchair, eyes wide. “How did you get in here?” She sighed, then blinked up at me, her bright, blue eyes twinkling, her lips parted. “It doesn’t matter. I’m glad you’ve come. I was just thinking about you.”

Uh oh. That’s not good. The only person she should be thinking about is Dr. Luke.
Sage’s thoughts pretty much mirrored my sentiment.
I pray to God she wasn’t picturing you without your hand-crocheted loin cloth, Martha Stewart.

Maybe I could use Penelope’s obsession with my human form to my benefit, after all. I beckoned and pointed to the door, then repeated the motion.

“Where do you want to go?”

Places you’ve never been, baby.

Shut up, Sage!
I growled it in my head.

Penelope walked after me, and I turned and hurried toward the door before she could get close. She followed my flawless ass all the way down the front stairs of her house and across the road until we ended up at the tree line of the forest. 

“Where are we going?” Penelope asked in short gasps. She jogged alongside me, trying to keep pace with my massive strides.

Turned out there was an advantage to having long legs.
Hey, I could be our opposable thumbs.

Not happening, the Chokecherry magic is so strong, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to use your amulet in the first place.

Ah, ever wise.
I worked my biceps back and forth, breaking into a trot.
Nicely done, prune.

I think you mean always right. Ah, what is wrong with the youth of today?

I may be younger than you in this life, but you forget I’ve had a few before this one.

We rounded the corner and hit the highway, so I stopped beside the entrance to the forest which led toward Chokecherry’s ritual space.

But Pen had stopped a few feet back. She had her hands on her hips and stared at me. “What’s this about?”

Apparently, following a half-naked man into the woods was too dangerous. I pointed frantically toward the trees.

“No, I don’t think so,” Penelope said. Then she turned and walked back the way we’d come, her dark, styled hair bouncing in the fresh night air.

What do we do now?

Chapter 3

Penelope walked swiftly down the road, taking my hopes with her. If I couldn’t get her to understand what had happened to Amelia, our aspirations of saving her and getting rid of the Chokecherry problem were dashed.

This would be a good moment to go after her, Talisman.
Sage swept past me at shoulder height, his majestic wings picking up the draughts, carrying him higher.

I jogged after Penelope, insides burning. I checked my amulet and sighed. It had yellowed already and I’d be no good as a cat guide. If Penelope wouldn’t follow my hunky man form into the forest, then she was unlikely to follow me as a cat.

She’d probably think I wanted to hunt for wild catnip. Not that I’d complain about that.

I ran up alongside her and grasped her by the arm. She wrenched it from my hand, then turned and poked me in my very solid chest.

“I’ve had just about enough of this. You’re hunky and everything, but you can’t keep turning up whenever you like.” She looked away and folded her arms, pouting. Were there tears in her eyes? “I’ve had a rough day, all right?”

I flapped my lips uselessly.

You look like a fish.

I pointed at my voice box ala Ariel in The Little Mermaid, but she didn’t get it. She probably never would, which was endlessly frustrating.

“I – I,” Penelope started, then cut off and made strangled noises.

I pointed back at the woods.

“No, no, no. Enough is enough. I don’t want you coming around here again,” she said. “Do you understand? I don’t know if you like me or…” She cleared her throat. “I’m interested in someone else. That’s right, I said it. He’s handsome and smart, and he doesn’t walk around half-naked and try to get me to go to the woods at weird hours of the night.”

That was good news, but it didn’t help right now.

Of course, Penelope would be interested in my human form when Dr. Luke was around, but the minute I actually needed her to pay attention, she realized she didn’t want to run after me anymore.

Great, perfect, catnip days.

“I’m going home now and don’t you dare follow me,” she said, jabbing me in the chest again, this time a little lighter. She caught sight of the amulet and frowned. She grabbed at it, and pulled on the rapidly yellowing gem. “This is so familiar, where did you –?”

Penelope’s phone buzzed and she let go of my amulet. I heaved a sigh of relief and covered it with my broad, tanned human hand. I’d thought she’d rip it right off for a second there.

“Oh my god,” Penelope whispered, her fingers fluttering to her lips. She grasped the phone in her other hand and stared at the screen. She shook her head, again and again, a never ending loop.

I grabbed the phone from her numb fingers and stared at the text.

I have Amelia. Come to Chokecherry mansion to get her back or I’ll kill her. No cops or the dowdy reporter gets it.

B.

At least she knew who had Ami and where they’d taken her. But they wanted to lure Pen in on their own terms, and that was disastrous. Penelope would probably be distraught enough to run right up there, regardless of the fact that this message was clearly the setup for a trap.

Lucinda Chokecherry’s final attempt at drawing out Penelope’s powers and consuming them.

We can’t let her go on her own. Not like this.
Sage was perched in a tree nearby, watching the proceedings over his curved beak.

Duh.

Touchy, touchy.

What did he expect? This was the opposite of what we wanted to happen with Pen. I grabbed her under the elbow and walked her back toward her house. She was so out of it, tears already streaming down her cheeks, that she didn’t protest.

We walked in silence, because, hello, how else were we supposed to walk? But Penelope wouldn’t stop sobbing. She didn’t cling to me, but her pace was too slow. My amulet had already changed color to citrine.

I had a couple minutes at best to change back.

I hustled Penelope up the front stairs and into the house, then sat her in her living room chair, dropped the cell in her lap and walked out again. I ripped off the tablecloth and touched the amulet with my thumb and forefinger.

Swoosh.

Back in cat form in two seconds flat. Man, that felt good.

Back in the fur?

Good to be back, that’s for damn sure. But what do we do about Penelope?

The million dollar question.

Lola walked down the stairs and curled around me, rubbing her head against mine and running the top of hers beneath my chin as she purred, big great rumblings of her affection.
I missed you, Tali.

I missed you too, gorgeous. But we’ve got big problems.

What’s new? There’s always a problem. But at least it’s exciting around here.

If by exciting you mean spending your days in a state of mortal terror, then I agree with you, silky socks.
Sage tried his best to be smooth. Good thing he couldn’t see Lola rolling her eyes.

I hurried into the living room. Pen sat there in the exact same armchair, weeping and gripping the puffy arms. “Oh Tali, Amelia’s in trouble and I don’t know what to do. She’s with Bianca Chokecherry.”

I hopped into her lap and purred softly, then meowed. If only I could communicate what she should do. Crying was not involved.

“I can’t call the cops either. Maybe Dr. Collier, er, Luke can help,” she whispered, her cheeks pale and wet.

I purred my agreement. She should call Dr. Luke immediately.

“No, I don’t want to burden him with this. I should go on my own.”

I dug my claws into the meat of her thighs. It was a little harsh, but she needed a wakeup call.

Penelope yelped and jumped. “Tali! What on Earth are you doing?” 

Hammering at the front door stopped her in her tracks. Who the hell could that be? I checked the clock above the mantel and frowned. It was past midnight.

See anything, Sage?

Huh? Sorry, I was nodding off.

Ah, what good are you?
I sprang from Penelope’s lap and darted through to the entrance hall. My mistress walked right behind me. She peered out through the peephole and gasped, then looked down at me.

“Elias Stout? What is he doing here?”

“I know you’re in there, Penelope DeLacroix. Open up right away.” Elias’ nasal iteration was enough to set my hairs standing on end.

“What do you want?” Penelope called back, voice wavering.

“I know you have Amelia, I know you’ve done something… something witchy to her.” Elias hissed the words, and I could almost feel the waves of anger spreading from his skin and washing onto the front of Penelope’s door. Thank goodness I’d locked it on the way in.

It was probably a wild guess on stalker Elias’ part, but he was too close to the truth about the witchery and it made Pen’s chin wobble. She just wasn’t the sorceress in question.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied, “go away.” She turned and walked from the door, tripped over the discarded table cloth and didn’t bother picking it up.

Elias rattled the door handle and banged furiously.

Penelope strode up the stairs to the bedroom, clumping in the exhausted manner I’d become accustomed to.

Elias grumbled something and banged again, but finally, after another two minutes, the house descended into silence.

What’s going to happen, Tali?
Lola stood on the bottom stair, blue eyes wide as harvest moons.

Bad things.