Gail Whitiker (22 page)

Robert sighed. It would have served him right if James had run back to Miss Blazel’s arms and proposed that very night!

Still, what James did or didn’t do really didn’t matter now. It certainly wasn’t what was uppermost in Robert’s
mind as he climbed the steps to his townhouse and went inside. He gave his beaver and gloves to his manservant and, waving aside dinner, headed to his study for a brandy. He doubted he was suffering as much as Hannah, but it gave him some comfort to know that she was not alone in her misery.

Robert had just taken the lid from the crystal decanter when his butler entered. ‘I beg your pardon, my lord, but this came for you earlier. I was instructed to put it into your hands immediately upon your arrival.’

Robert glanced briefly at the letter, and nodded. ‘Thank you. You may leave it on the desk.’

‘Can I get you anything else, my lord?’

‘Hmm? Oh, no, thank you, that will be all.’

The butler bowed and left, and Robert poured a generous measure of brandy into a glass. Taking a deep mouthful, he closed his eyes, letting the golden liquid burn a fiery path down his throat. He only hoped the numbing effect would soon follow.

Damn.
What was he to do now? Where did he go from here? Hannah would certainly start looking for somewhere else to live. He’d seen the look on her face tonight when Sir Roger and Lady Montgomery had heard the truth. He’d known she wouldn’t stay in their house a moment longer than she had to. But where could she go? Certainly not here. Society might not yet be aware of the true nature of their relationship, but Robert wasn’t about to risk damaging what was left of Hannah’s reputation with the handful of people who
did
know by inviting her to stay with him.

So what other options did they have? He supposed he could arrange for her to stay at a hotel, but he would have to be careful how he went about it. Why, people would ask, was the Honourable Miss Winthrop no longer
staying at the home of her aunt and uncle, or even with her brother? Had the lady fallen out of favour with her family?

Damn.

Robert downed his brandy and poured himself another. As he did, his eye fell upon the letter on the desk. He picked it up and, breaking the seal, unfolded it. It looked to have been written by a man but the spidery signature was that of a woman. One Mary MacKinnon who lived at—

Robert felt ghostly fingers run up his spine.
Culstock Cottage, Bonnyrigg.

The town in Scotland where Hannah had been abandoned.

Hannah was unable to get any sleep that night, but in the grey hours before dawn she reached a decision as to what she would do.

She would go back to Gillingdon Park. She was quite sure Robert wouldn’t object to her staying there, at least until she found somewhere else to live. Perhaps he would even allow her to stay on until she found suitable employment. But she would not stay here another day. Sir Roger and Lady Montgomery had made their feelings quite clear.

She was no longer welcome.

Perhaps the only good thing to come out of this wretched affair was Alice’s startling reaction to the news. Rather than being horrified, she had become an ally, staying with Hannah throughout her tears, saying nothing, only holding her hand and refusing to leave her even when Hannah had begged her to go.

Afterwards, when the initial burst of tears and frustration had been spent, the two had sat quietly on the bed
and talked. Hannah had been astonished by the sudden change in the girl. It was as though Alice had grown up right in front of her eyes.

Still, Alice’s sympathy did nothing to alter the course of Hannah’s plans. She would leave London as soon as she could. Today, in fact. She would pack her things and arrange for conveyance back to Gillingdon Park. She doubted Sir Roger or Lady Montgomery would try to dissuade her. She was quite sure neither of them would ever wish to see her again.

So it was with considerable surprise that Hannah found herself summoned to Sir Roger’s study shortly before half past ten that morning.

Drawing on every ounce of courage she possessed, Hannah went downstairs. She wore again her pale lavender silk and held her head high as she walked into Sir Roger’s study.

He was standing alone in front of the tall French windows. When he turned, Hannah saw the emotion on his face. His expression was not cold, but it was reserved, as though he himself had no idea how to handle this most unusual situation. But with that look, the hopes Hannah had so briefly held of a hand of friendship being extended to her, disappeared like seeds scattered on the wind.

‘Good morning, Sir Roger,’ she said quietly.

‘Hannah.’

She curtsied out of respect, noting that he was, at least, willing to address her by name this morning.

‘Well, that was quite a story your…er, Lord Winthrop told us last night,’ Sir Roger said, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. ‘Shocked us both, I don’t mind telling you.’

‘Yes, I’m sure it did,’ Hannah murmured. ‘It came as
rather a surprise to me when I learned of it a few months ago.’

He glanced at her, as if to see defiance or disrespect on her face. When he saw only a grim acceptance of the facts, he bent his head and sighed. ‘Yes, I dare say it did. Wasn’t even sure whether to believe it or not until I realised Robert would have no reason to lie to us.’

‘Sir Roger, I know this is extremely awkward for you, but I want you to know that I plan on returning to Gillingdon Park this very day,’ Hannah said quickly. ‘Under the circumstances, I think it best that I remove myself from your house as quickly as possible. I have no wish to cause anyone any further embarrassment or pain.’

She could tell that Sir Roger was surprised. Perhaps he hadn’t expected her to be so accommodating. Perhaps the fact that she was accounted for the look of grudging admiration which suddenly softened his features. ‘I think that’s probably for the best, my dear. I wouldn’t ask you to leave on my own account, but my wife is…well, she’s quite beside herself over it all. Her sister not telling her the truth, discovering that you aren’t really—who we thought you were. She just needs some time to come to terms with it.’

‘Of course. I can hardly blame her for feeling that way. As I said, it’s come as a great shock to everyone.’

Sir Roger looked at her for a long time. Then, he gruffly cleared his throat. ‘Well, since you’ve already made up your mind to leave, I won’t try to change it. But I did want to say that if you needed any help…’

Hannah looked at him quizzically. ‘Help, Sir Roger?’

‘Well, I don’t know how you’re set for money, but if you need a little something to get you by…you know,
to carry you over until you’re settled again, I’m sure I could see my way clear to advancing you some funds.’

The offer was so unexpected that Hannah didn’t know what to say. ‘Sir Roger, I am…truly honoured that you would make such a gesture. But pray do not trouble yourself. Lady Winthrop did provide me with an allowance, and, while it was not large, it will be enough to tide me over until I am able to find employment.’

‘You intend to seek a position?’

‘I do not see that I have any choice.’

‘But what will you do?’

Hannah lifted her shoulders. ‘I have skills which could be useful in the education of young ladies. I thought perhaps to look for a position as a governess or a teacher.’

Sir Roger considered her answer for a moment. ‘You probably wouldn’t have any trouble finding such a post in London. Perhaps I could make some enquiries on your behalf.’

Surprised by his offer, Hannah nevertheless shook her head. ‘Thank you, Sir Roger, but I do not think that would be wise. When news of this leaks out, I doubt there will be anyone willing to employ me. Perhaps in the country I will manage to find employment in the home of a local squire, or at a small school.’

‘Your life will be very different from what it has been.’

The enormity of the remark made Hannah smile. ‘Yes, but I shall endeavour to do my best.’ She hesitated then, wondering how best to say what she had to without giving offence in any way. ‘Sir Roger, I wonder if I could ask you to express my most sincere appreciation to Lady Montgomery for the hospitality she has shown me. I
would tell her myself, but I think after last night it would be easier if you were to say goodbye for me.’

‘Of course. My wife will come to terms with the news eventually, Hannah, but not, I suspect, in the next few hours.’ Sir Roger walked back to his desk, opened the top drawer and pulled out a slip of paper. ‘I know you said you’re all right for funds, but if you ever find yourself in need, use this.’ He walked over and handed it to her. ‘Any bank will honour it.’

Hannah looked down at the slip of paper and gasped. ‘I can’t possibly take this. I could never repay you!’

‘I’m not asking to be repaid. Do not think for one moment that I am insensitive to the grief this has caused you,’ Sir Roger said slowly. ‘Whatever anyone else may say,
you
are the one who must now suffer for the choices my sister-in-law made twenty years ago. I only want you to know that I will help you in any way I can. But I trust you will keep this between ourselves.’

Hannah knew what he was saying. Lady Montgomery obviously didn’t know of her husband’s generous offer of assistance, nor was she ever likely to. This was Sir Roger’s idea and his alone.

‘Thank you, Sir Roger. I shall never forget your kindness, but I shall use this only if I must.’

‘As you will. Now, since it is your plan to return to Gillingdon Park, I shall make available the carriage to take you there.’

‘Oh, no! I would not dream of imposing. You have already been more than kind—’

‘Nevertheless, you shall have the carriage. I will not see you leave here in any less state than you arrived.’ Sir Roger paused then and took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know what the future holds for you, Hannah. Nor can I speak for the conduct of others when they learn of your
circumstances, but as far as I am concerned, no one need learn of it from me.’

Touched beyond words, Hannah reached up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. ‘Thank you, Sir Roger. I shall always think of you with kindness, and take great pleasure in knowing that whatever news gets out, it was not put about by you.’

‘Be well, Hannah,’ Sir Roger said gently.

Hannah smiled, and knowing that the interview was at an end, tucked the bank draft into her pocket and left Sir Roger for the last time.

H
ANNAH
was in her room putting the final touches to her packing when Robert arrived and summoned her to join him. Leaving her maid to continue, Hannah hastily went downstairs. She found him in the drawing-room, staring into the blackness of the empty hearth. ‘Robert?’

He turned at once, and the look on his face made her want to forget propriety altogether. Indeed, as he took a step towards her, it was all she could do not to fling herself into his arms, and to take the comfort he so willingly offered. But knowing it would do neither of them any good, she sat down in a chair instead.

‘Are you all right?’ he asked.

‘I am…as well as can be expected, but it has been a very quiet morning. Lady Montgomery is still abed, as is Alice.’

‘I spoke to Alice last night, you know.’

‘Yes. She came to see me after you left. I was astonished at how well she took the news. She seemed to grow up even as I watched.’

Robert’s mouth twisted. ‘Sometimes shock can do that to a person.’

Hannah paused for a moment, carefully formulating her next words, knowing how important they would be. ‘Robert, I have been giving a great deal of thought as to what I should do, and I can see only one alternative. If it’s all right with you, I should very much like to return to Gillingdon Park. I know it is your home, and that I have no right to ask…’

‘You may ask anything you wish of me, Hannah, surely you know that,’ Robert said gently. ‘And of course you may go back to Gillingdon Park. In fact, I want you to stay there until I return from Scotland.’

‘From Scotland?’ Hannah gasped. ‘Have you learned something?’

‘Nothing conclusive, but I’m going to follow up on some information I received last evening.’

‘Oh, Robert, take me with you! Please!’

‘I wish I could, dearest, but I’ll not expose you to any more hurt or embarrassment. It could be nothing more than a wild goose chase, and until I know for sure, I refuse to raise your hopes needlessly.’

‘But I have nothing
but
hope to sustain me now,’ she said. ‘Surely you see that? Why should I not cling to any hope you can give me, however small?’

‘Because when you cling to something so flimsy, the fall, when it comes, is that much harder to survive.’ He crossed to where she sat and took her hands in his. ‘Go home, Hannah,’ he urged. ‘Wait for me at Gillingdon. Say nothing to anyone of what you have learned, and just pick up the pieces of your life. You will be out of mourning within a matter of weeks and free to resume your life. Not that I wish you to resume it without me,’ he added huskily, ‘for every moment I spend away from you will seem like an eternity. But it is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.’

Hannah drew a deep breath, moved by the emotion in his voice and by the sincerity in his eyes. ‘Very well, Robert, I shall do as you ask. Though, like you, it will not make me happy. By the by, I spoke to Sir Roger this morning.’

‘And?’

‘He gave me a bank draft and told me I was to use it
if ever I found myself in need. He also told me that he would not be the one to put the story about.’

Robert slowly began to smile. ‘I always knew Sir Roger was an honourable man, for all his quiet ways. But you have no need of his money, Hannah. I shall provide you with anything you need.’ He hesitated briefly. ‘I take it there’s been no word from my aunt?’

‘No. But then, I hadn’t expected there to be. It wasn’t only the truth of my identity that disturbed her, but the fact that she had been lied to. She was hurt and embarrassed that her own sister hadn’t told her the truth, and no doubt, she heartily resented having to find out the way she did.’

‘She’ll get over it.’

‘Yes, but she will do so more quickly if I am not here to remind her of it. You know that as well as I do.’

Robert nodded. ‘Yes. As always, you’re right.’ He reached for her hand, and turning it over, pressed an ardent kiss into her palm. ‘I will come to you at Gillingdon, Hannah, and we will talk about what is to be done.’

Hannah closed her eyes, her heart thundering at the intimate touch of his mouth. When he touched her like this, it was all she could do to breathe. ‘Perhaps you…will have news to give me when you return.’

‘Perhaps. But you must promise that you won’t be too devastated if I do not.’

‘I shall try not to be devastated,’ Hannah said, ‘but now more than ever, I need to know who I am, Robert. I need something to hold on to.’

‘You have me,’ he whispered softly. ‘You have only to say the word, Hannah, and we can be married.’

Her eyes widened in shock. ‘You wish to…marry me?’

‘Of course. I love you. Did you think I would be willing to settle for anything less?’

‘I don’t know. I never thought…’

‘Then start thinking. I’ve already told you I don’t intend to take no for an answer.’

‘You will have to if you cannot find proof of my identity. I will not marry you as matters stand, Robert.’ Hannah spoke in a quiet but resolute voice. ‘You are Viscount Winthrop, which means you must marry, and marry well.’

‘But I will not marry where I do not love,’ he said with equal conviction. ‘And I cannot love out of convenience, simply to fulfil other people’s expectations of me.’

‘It is your duty.’

Robert slowly shook his head. ‘My duty is to you. That is the only responsibility I wish to honour, or for which I care.’

‘You must forget about me. You must find a suitable young woman to marry, and start your life with—’

‘Will you forget about me, Hannah?’

She stopped dead, aware of a trembling deep in the pit of her stomach. ‘That is not for me to say—’

‘Will you forget me, Hannah?’

Lie to him! You must! There is no other answer.

‘I will love you until the day I die,’ Hannah whispered, flinging discretion to the wind. ‘But that makes no difference.’

‘Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, beloved,’ Robert said in a throaty whisper. ‘Because as far as I’m concerned, it makes all the difference in the world.’

Hannah received one more visitor before setting off for Gillingdon Park. One that surprised her even more than
had the summons to Sir Roger’s study. James Stanford called and asked if she would be willing to give him a few moments of her time.

Shocked that he would wish to see her, Hannah nevertheless agreed and made her way to the parlour. She took no maid with her, since she intended to answer his questions with honesty and candour. She also doubted that anyone would object to her seeing a gentleman without chaperonage now. After all, she was not the eminently respectable Miss Hannah Winthrop any more.

‘Good afternoon, Mr Stanford,’ she said upon entering the parlour.

He looked, as ever, the dashing young gentleman, in a cutaway coat over a claret-coloured waistcoat and buff breeches. But as he rose from his chair and took a step towards her, Hannah saw that his face was a little red. ‘Miss Winthrop. Thank you for agreeing to see me.’

‘It is very good of you to call, sir. I would certainly not refuse to see you, though I am a little surprised you would wish to see
me
.’

A faint smile softened the corners of Stanford’s mouth. ‘Yes, I thought you might be. And I will not take up much of your time, but I did wish to speak to you before you left. I understand you are returning to Gillingdon this afternoon.’

Hannah inclined her head. ‘Lord Winthrop has kindly agreed to let me stay there until I am able to make alternate arrangements.’

‘Have you any idea what those alternate arrangements will be?’

‘Not really,’ she admitted. ‘My first job will be to find somewhere to live. My second will be to seek employment.’

He looked puzzled. ‘If you are seeking employment,
why would you not stay in London? Surely the opportunities are better here.’

‘I’m sure they are, but I have a feeling that matters are going to become a little…difficult over the next few months. As such, I think I am probably better off residing in the country.’

‘You mean
hiding
in the country, don’t you?’

Hannah smiled, and felt the warmth of a blush rise to her cheeks. ‘Yes, I suppose I do.’

‘The country is no more impervious to rumour and strife than London, Miss Winthrop,’ Mr Stanford said with surprising gentleness. ‘The news may simply be a little slower in getting there.’

‘I am well aware of that, but I am hoping that people looking to hire a governess or a schoolmistress will not be as concerned with her background as they might be with one of a young woman looking to make her way in society.’

‘It really is not fair, you know,’ he said suddenly. ‘You are being most unfairly persecuted. What happened was not your fault.’

‘It is kind of you to say so, sir. I must confess, I have felt that way more than once since finding out about all this. But I cannot change what has happened, nor can I alter the circumstances of my birth. I only regret I had to reach the age of twenty before finding out the truth of it.’

Mr Stanford watched her for a moment, and then, catching her completely off guard, dropped to the floor at her feet. ‘Miss Winthrop, I am…heartily ashamed of my conduct yesterday, and of the way I spoke to you. It was cruel and unnecessarily harsh, and I beg that you will forgive me.’

‘There is nothing to forgive,’ Hannah assured him.
‘You reacted in a way any normal person would have. Indeed, I’m sure it must have come as quite a shock to walk into a room and see Rob—Lord Winthrop and I behaving in such a manner. Especially when you thought we were related.’

‘Yes, but you were absolutely right when you said I should have known better than to accuse him of such behaviour. Winthrop would
never
have conducted himself in such a manner, and I should have realised straight off that there was a logical explanation for his actions. I should have asked him for it, rather than exploding like a cannon and saying all manner of disgraceful things.’

Touched by his confession, Hannah smiled. ‘You are forgiven, Mr Stanford. And I’m quite certain Lord Winthrop feels the same.’

‘I only hope he does. But Miss Winthrop,’ the gentleman said, again most earnestly, ‘I think it is important that you know why I was coming to see you yesterday.’

Hannah flushed. ‘There is really no need—’

‘On the contrary, there is every need. I want you to know that I had only the most honourable of intentions in mind. And what I have learned about your past has done nothing to change the way I feel about you.’

Hannah felt a flicker of apprehension. ‘Mr Stanford, I think it would be best if you said nothing—’

‘Rest assured, I do not intend to embarrass you by the making of an unwelcome proposition, Miss Winthrop. But I think it only right that you know I came here yesterday to ask you to be my wife. And were it not for the fact that your affections are elsewhere engaged, and not to Mr Twickenham,’ he added with a smile, ‘I would ask you to marry me even now.’

Hannah gazed into his eyes, and experienced the most
inexplicable feeling of sadness. Even knowing what he did of her, Mr Stanford would have been willing to offer her marriage, simply because that’s what he had been going to do
before
he had learned the truth. Alice was indeed right to place her affections with such a man.

‘I am more flattered than you can imagine, Mr Stanford,’ Hannah said, her voice husky with emotion. ‘To have earned the affection of such an admirable gentleman is more than I deserve.’

‘On the contrary, you deserve all of that and more,’ Mr Stanford said. ‘And I admit, I might have been less inclined to accept your refusal had I not learned of Winthrop’s affection for you, and of yours for him. Oh, no, please, do not be embarrassed, Miss Winthrop. Robert told me how things stood. He more or less had to when I accused him of such wicked behaviour. He also admitted that you were not involved with Mr Twickenham, as he had led me to believe.’

Not sure which admission caused her the greatest embarrassment, Hannah lowered her eyes. ‘Dear me, it would seem that Lord Winthrop has indeed set the record straight.’

Mr Stanford smiled. ‘He is the most honourable of men, Miss Winthrop, and I consider myself most fortunate to be counted as one of his closest friends. For in receiving that distinction, it means he cannot be anything but honest with me.’

‘And in the face of such honesty, it would be churlish of me to be less than candid in my reply. I do hold Lord Winthrop…in the very highest regard, Mr Stanford. And yes, he has made me aware of his feelings. But I have told him that nothing can come of it.’

‘You mean…you haven’t agreed to marry him?’

‘How can I when I have no knowledge of who I am?’

Mr Stanford appeared genuinely shocked. ‘But Robert doesn’t care about that. Nor did I.’

‘No, because you are both kind and decent men who put honour before obligation. But you and I both know it could never be. Lord Winthrop
believes
in the importance of knowing all there is to know about a lady before committing his life to her, and he is absolutely right. A gentleman in his position, and indeed in yours, cannot afford to be careless. I believe he told you that some time ago.’

Mr Stanford had the grace to look embarrassed. ‘You mean when he took me to task for my supposed affection for Miss Blazel.’

‘Just so. And in knowing that, how could I possibly entertain his suit, or yours, when the value of lineage and background is so important.’

‘I admire your courage and resolve, Miss Winthrop, but I cannot believe such sentiments will bring you happiness.’

Hannah’s smile turned wistful. ‘They will not. But life does not always guarantee us happiness, sir, nor offer promises of a happy ending. I am practical by nature and accept what I must.’

‘So you wouldn’t have accepted me, even had you not been in love with Lord Winthrop?’

‘I could no more have accepted you and subjected you to the scrutiny which would surely follow, than I could Lord Winthrop. You are a gentleman of title and wealth, Mr Stanford. It behooves you to select wisely the woman who will bear your children. But I am deeply honoured that you considered making me such an offer. And I am even more honoured to have been made aware of it today, knowing what you do of me now.’