Give Me Something (11 page)

“I feel like you have a hard time opening up to me,” he blurted out.  “I mean... It's just...”  I looked over and watched as he tried to figure out what to say next.  He looked at me and I could see the frustration in his eyes.

“
I know.  I'm sorry,” I said as I let my head fall back down.  “I guess I'm not very good at letting people in.”  I felt his hand tighten around mine.

“
I'd never hurt you.” His voice was sincere and it tugged at the very heartstrings I was trying to keep out of his grasp.  I wasn't worried about him hurting me.  It was the opposite actually.  He was going to find out what kind of girl I really was and then he'd be broken.  I didn't think I could deal with hurting this mark. Scratch that – I couldn't deal with hurting Tucker.  I was wrestling around for the right words to ease his mind and keep the plan I had on track, when he spoke again. “I'm pretty close to the line when it comes to falling for you, Lila.”  My heart stilled.  “It wouldn't take much for me to trip over it.”  He turned on his side and his blue eyes begged me to give him an honest shot.

“
I...” I started to stammer out a response.  When he pulled me on my side to face him I couldn't speak.

“
You don't have to say anything.  I just wanted you to know how I feel.”  He feathered his lips against mine and jumped up off the bed.  “So... what are we doing for dinner?”

Chapter 8

I was treated to a fine meal of frozen pizza and a can of Cherry Coke.  Tucker apologize profusely for the lack of food in the house.  It didn't really bother me, in all honesty, I'd rather eat a pizza than be forced to sit through an inedible fancy dinner any day.

“
This is really good,” I murmured, taking another bite.

“
You like frozen pizza?” he asked in disbelief.

“
What's not to like?”

“
I just took you for a fancy restaurant kind of girl,” he chuckled.

“
Nah.” I shook my head. “This is better.”

“
I think so, too,” he agreed.  “In fact, I hated that place we went on our first date,” he confessed. “I was just trying to impress you.”

I was pleasantly surprised at his admission.  I'd definitely pegged him as a fancy restaurant kind of guy.    “That's sweet, but from here on out it's frozen pizza and fast food.”  I raised my can.

“Sounds good to me,” he smirked, clinking his can against mine.  “You know we're going to get fat eating this shit all the time, right?”

“
You wouldn't love me if I was fat?” I joked with a mouth full of pizza.

He grinned. “Yes, I'd still love you even if you were a whale.”  Even though we were joking around, the word
love
took hold in my brain.  Was he serious? What if he found out I was a complete fake?  Would he love me then?  I laughed and pretended I wasn't thinking about that freaking four letter word.

After changing into comfy pairs of sweats, we snuggled down on the overstuffed sofa in the family room for a movie.  It was hard not to feel comfortable in this house.  Even though I was sure it cost more than I could hustle in ten years, it had a charm that couldn't be bought.  Tucker said that his dad had hired an interior decorator when they built the place, and she'd spent hours poring over pictures and items of Tucker's mom's to figure out exactly how she would have decorated.  Mr. Kline thought that it would help Tucker feel like there was a part of her with him.  It was sweet, and apparently Mrs. Kline had fabulous taste.  The cream-colored couch we were sitting on was covered with a soft linen fabric and half a dozen vintage looking throw pillows.  The walls were painted a muted shade of gray-blue, and the soft, plush rug under our feet was the kind of rug you just wanted to lie down and roll around on.  If a room could give you a hug, it was this one.  A flat screen television hung above a cabinet that stretched the length of the wall.  The top of it was covered with framed photographs of Tucker and his family.  It made me sad to think that was all he had left of them. 

“
You're mom was beautiful,” I said, pointing to the one photograph that hung on the wall.  In the photo, Tucker's mom and dad were each holding his hand and smiling down at him as they walked through what appeared to be a park.  Tucker was a dark haired, wide-eyed toddler.  “What was her name?”

“
Renee,” he said with a warm smile. I could tell he only had fond memories of his mother.  He was only six when she passed away so his father's effort of keeping her memory alive had paid off.  Renee was tall and slender.  Her hair was long and the color matched Tucker's.  Other than the hair, Tucker looked just like his dad – tall and athletic.  The blue eyes were all Mr. Kline.  Even in a photograph, those eyes could look into your soul.  It was hard not to get lost in them.  He went on about his parents for a while.  It was nice to hear someone talk about his parents in a loving way.  When I left my parents, I made a concentrated effort to bury any good memories I had.  The more time that passed, the less guilty I felt about having left them. 

“
Must have been nice growing up with all this?” I looked around at his lavish home.

“
You'd think so,” he chuckled, “but believe it or not my dad actually made me get a job when I was fourteen.  Wanted to instill a good work ethic in me.”

“
Hmm.” I was impressed.  I'd taken him for a spoil rich kid that had everything handed to him.

“
My dad was kind of a tight wad,” he said.  “Everyone always assumed that because we lived in a nice house and my dad made good money that I got whatever I wanted.  Not true.” He shook his head.

“
Really?”

“
Yeah, I mean, I never got a pet monkey or the private plane I wanted,” he deadpanned.

“
What?”

He started laughing. “I'm kidding, Lila.  I would have never asked for that shit. My childhood was really good.  Despite the fact that my mom died, I lived a pretty cushy life, but that's not to say I wasn't raised to be grateful for everything that I have.”

“That's a good thing.” I smiled.

“
It's always bugged me that some people are so resentful of well-off people. It's not like my dad didn't bust his ass for everything we had.”  He suddenly became very serious.  “I plan on working just as hard for what I want, too.  I don't expect anyone to hand me anything.”

“
I think that's great, Tucker.” I rested my head on his shoulder.  I didn't want him to look into my eyes and see how guilty he was making me feel for being the exact kind of person he'd just described.

“
Tell me about your parents?” he asked.

Here we go
.
  I knew that Tucker just wanted to get to know me, but I didn't like to talk about my parents with anyone.  My parents weren't horrible people.  I didn't have a traumatic childhood or some awful sob story.  My parents and I just didn't see eye to eye.

“
There's not much to tell.”

“
That sucks.  Why?”

“
We're just too different.  My parents don't understand me.”

“
That's too bad,” he offered with a sympathetic grin and grabbed my hand. “What about your brother?”

I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath. “What about him?” I sat up.  I didn't remember telling Tucker about my brother, but lately I'd been so all over the place, between Nick and him, that I must have mentioned Harry at one time or another.  My brother was exactly what my parents wanted when they had kids.  He'd been perfectly content with the life my parents gave him.  Unlike me, he believed my parents philosophy.  I hadn't seen him in years.  When I left he was fourteen.  I was sure he graduated, skipped college, took some blue collar job, married a neighborhood girl, and popped out a kid. 

“Just wondered if you ever heard from him.”

“
I haven't talked to anyone in my family in a few years.” As soon as I said it, I wished I just fed him a fake story about my family.  It was becoming increasingly harder to lie to him.  He'd been so honest with me, and whatever barriers he was breaking down made me want to tell him everything, despite my better judgment. “Don't feel sorry for me,” I said defensively. I knew what he was about to say.  It was the same thing anyone would have said when they heard my story.  “It was my choice.”

“
I don't feel sorry for you.” He shook his head.  “I think it's a shame that you don't speak to them, but it's your business. Not mine.”

I smiled as I let his words sink in and immediately felt guilty for having an entire living, breathing family I didn't speak to while Tucker was left with only photographs and memories of his.  I snuggled down into the crook under his arm and turned my eyes back to the movie, trying to shake the attachment that I'd started to feel.  I couldn't lie.  The way my body fit next to his was pretty perfect.  I must have released a sigh as I settled it.

“See, I told you,” he whispered, tightening his arm around and pulling me into a comfort I didn't think existed with anyone other than Nick.

“
What's that?” I looked up at him.

“
Best thing that ever happened to you,” he told me, reminding me of his previous declaration.  With that, he kissed my forehead and went back to watching the movie while I thought about how I was going to actually be the worst thing that ever happened to Tucker. 

When the movie was over I stood up, raised my arms up over my head and stretched out before grabbing the empty popcorn bowl and soda cans.

“What are you doing?”  Tucker asked sitting up.

“
Picking up.” I shrugged, heading into the kitchen.

I rinsed out the bowl and tossed the cans into the trashcan.  I turned around and found Tucker leaning against the door frame.  I jumped when I saw him.
I was beginning to think there was some sort of conspiracy about it being a good idea to sneak up on me.

“
You like to take care of people, huh?” he smirked.

“
What do you mean?” I leaned against the counter.

“
Just something I noticed.  You're always taking care of people.  Me, Brynn... Nick.”

“
I guess it's just my thing.” I crossed my arms over my chest, protecting myself from having to talk about Nick. It was the first time that night that I'd really thought about him.  I felt awful for allowing myself to actually enjoy Tucker's company when I really wanted to be with Nick.

“
How did you and Nick become friends anyway?”

“
Hmmm...”  I had to think about it.  “We met at...” I paused. “Camp.”  The way I said 'camp' made it sound almost like a question, but I couldn't very well tell him we met doing community service, could I?  “Yeah, camp.  We just hit it off.”

“
I see.”  I wasn't quite sure what to make of Tucker's response.  I felt like he knew I was lying.  I started talking again to get him out of his mind.

“
We both had issues with our parents.  Nick's the only person I really consider family.  He's the only person I really trust.”  That part was true.

Tucker slowly walked over to me and framed me between his arms as he placed his hands on the counter.  “Let's see if we can't change that,” he said, pressing his lips to mine.  Tucker took my confession as a challenge and latched another finger on the grip he was desperately trying to get on my heart.

“I'm beat,” I breathed, ending our lip-lock.  “I think I'm ready for bed.”  I started to walk back to the bedroom where we'd been earlier that night.  This time my intentions were pure.  Sleep was calling and it was my favorite pastime.  Behind me, I heard Tucker's footsteps veer in another direction.  When I reached the door of the bedroom, I turned and saw only the empty hallway.

“
Tucker?”

He popped his head out of an open door. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“
Going to sleep.  You can have the big bed.” He smiled. 

“
No,” crossed my lips before I had a chance to really think about it.  “Don't be silly.  There's plenty of room for you in here.  With me.”

“
Okay.” He walked toward me with a hesitant step.  “Are you sure?  I don't want you to feel pressured.”

“
Yes, Tucker.  I'm sure.”  I grabbed his hand. “We're just sleeping.”  Nothing else was said as Tucker pulled off his shirt and crawled into bed with me.  When he was comfortably positioned next to me on his back, I scooted over and rested my head on his smooth, sculpted chest.  My fingers, which apparently had a mind of their own, started tracing the outlines over the hard plane of his chest. 
I really was testing my limits, huh?
He sighed as he wrapped his arm around my back, securing me next to him.  This was the first time I'd ever slept this close to anyone other than Nick.  With the other marks it was different.  I would always come up with some believable excuse as to why I couldn't stay the night with them.  I'd tempt them with the idea of what would happen when were finally together, and it always worked.  I'm sure most of them went out to find gratification in other places, but it didn't bother me.  For them, I was just the potential trophy wife.  They were willing to wait.  It made me cringe to think about Tucker finding someone else to fulfill any of his needs.  He was by far the most eligible bachelor at school, so it was definitely a possibility.  I wondered how much longer I'd be able to keep him interested in me without sex.  More than that, I wondered how much longer I could resist him.