Given (12 page)

She ran into Jared first. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“Steve said he could be fired if I go into the kitchen and
he’s alone with me. I’d like to learn to cook, and I doubt any of you want to
sit through that. Can we establish some kind of five feet rule or something so
he won’t get in trouble, but I can still go into the kitchen?”

“I don’t have a problem with it, but you can see how my
thoughts don’t always matter around here.” He spoke glibly and chuckled, but
there was a sad darkness in the sound.

“You matter to me,” she said and winked.

He brightened. “Damn it, I’ll never be able to say no to you
now.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be in trouble again. Just have a
group meeting and let me and Steve know the rules.”

“Hey, my night with you will be on Saturday. I want to do
something fun with you and spend the whole day together on Saturday. Is that
all right with you?”

“Of course, I’ll look forward to it. Thanks for…aw, heck.”
Krista threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Thanks for being
so sweet. I really feel like you’re a friend.”

His face went from happy to sad instantly.
“A friend?”

“Don’t you want to be my friend?”

“Sure, but—damn it, Krista, I want you to feel more than
that for me.”

She realized what was upsetting him. “This is all new.
Maybe.
I’m sure Saturday will be great,” she said, backing
away. She fled the room, not wanting to see the disappointment on his face. She
already knew she’d always like Jared very much, but that was the extent of what
would develop. If she were foolish enough to fall in love with any of them, it
probably wouldn’t be Jared. He was wonderful, but the spark she felt around
some of the other men didn’t ignite with him.

Krista went up to her room and grabbed the book she’d
started the night before. She sat down on the comfortable, little couch and
began reading again. She was engrossed in Samuel Johnson’s world. The sex made
her cheeks heat, but the story was wonderful. She’d thought
Brax
hadn’t gotten it right, but she was wrong. While the government in the story
was far more concerned with actual sex than the real government,
Brax
touched on the emotions of someone in Samuel’s
position so well. At one point, she actually cried when Sam’s best friend died
trying to escape. The fear he felt for authority was so eerily similar to her
own, she had to stop reading a few times to take a deep breath.

“So you like the story?”

“
Ahhh
!”
Krista shouted, dropping the book as she jumped. “You scared the heck out of
me!”

“Sorry,”
Brax
said, grinning. He
had such a beautiful smile, she instantly forgave him.

“I don’t like it,” she said sharply.
Brax’s
eyes widened and he looked hurt. “I love it so much I can’t even put my
feelings into words. I’m going to kill you if anything bad happens to Samuel. I
feel like he was in the protection facility with me. I don’t know how you did
it, but I do honestly feel like he is going through the same thing. The sex was
a bit over-the-top, but I love it and I’m going to start on the next book the
moment I finish this one.”

He beamed happily. “That’s the best review I’ve ever had,
thanks. I wanted to tell you it’s time for supper. Would you join me?” He held
out his arm. She stood and took the sight in, feeling as if he’d just stepped
out of some cheesy, old movie. “We’ll be eating on the patio together. I wanted
to spend some time alone with you. Is that okay?”

“Sure. No one was angry?”

“They grumbled a bit, but they know they’ll have a night
with you too. I’m glad you liked my work. If you aren’t busy tomorrow, I have
some notes for my latest novel and I’d love to ask you some questions. I want
this to be the best one yet, and having someone who really lived the experience
will make the book phenomenal.”

“I’d be honored to help. My schedule is clear until I die,
unfortunately. I’m at your disposal.”

“We’ll find something for you to do that will give your life
purpose, besides doing us. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t matter, you
do.”

“Thanks. Did Jared talk to you guys?”

“About Steve?”
They walked down the
stairs.

“Yes, is there going to be some reciprocity for him and me
to be in the same room?”

“We talked with Steve. He’s not comfortable being alone with
you. He said it’s too painful to be around the only woman in town and not be
able to touch you. I don’t blame him. I’m surprised he didn’t quit when we told
him we’d won. On his income, there’s no way he can even participate in the lottery,
and we pay well.”
Brax
opened the patio doors for
her.

Knowing Steve had no hope of ever having a family of his
own, even if he had to share them, made her sad. The idea that a man would be
condemned to loneliness based on income just seemed wrong. This world was so
unfair; just because Steve wasn’t rich shouldn’t mean he was just out of luck.
He was so kind. He was a victim of the unjust Giving system too. The more she
learned about the how the government selected who was able to participate and who
wasn’t, the greater her hatred grew toward the politicians who propagated the
way the world worked.

Brax
pulled out her chair and she
sat down. The small bistro table was lovely. A white cloth draped over the
black iron she knew was underneath and a candle burned in the center. Square
bowls of water with flower buds and floating candles littered the patio area.
She could smell lilacs in the distance. The darkening sky set the perfect mood.
She picked up her cloth napkin and put it over her lap daintily.

“We did decide to hire a tutor of sorts. There’s a service
that provides happily gay companions for women. I realize you might want a
friend.”

“I never thought someone would have to hire a friend for
me,” she said gruffly.

“It’s not as if you can just walk down the street meeting
new people. The other benefit is the service provides ‘friends’ who are trained
in martial arts and carry concealed gun permits. You’ll be as safe with your
companion as with the guards. Tell us what you want to learn and we can hire
someone with those specific qualifications. If you don’t like him, we’ll get
another, just try a few out until something genuine clicks.”

“That sounds so odd. I’ve never had to have a friend on
‘probationary trial’ before.”

“It’s the best we can do. He’ll be a chaperone too, so you
won’t have to worry about Steve. There’s a smaller, second kitchen on the
basement level. It’ll be your private domain.”

She smiled. “Great, now I just have to learn how to use it.”

“I’ll get you a cookbook and some supplies later in the
week. I’ll even eat something you make.”

“Wow, what a great vote of confidence. Just for that, I’ll
make sure the others tell me what your least favorite food is, and I’ll triple
it in my first recipe. But in case I decide not to make you suffer, what’s your
favorite food?”

“Pecan pie.
I love the stuff, but
Steve never makes it. The others hate it. They’re nuts, because it’s
fantastic.” He paused for a second and she held her breath as his eyes grew dark
with desire. “It’s a date,” he said huskily before clearing his throat. “I’m
the only one who works from home, so we’ll have a special private lunch when
the guys go back to work and Mal leaves for his cross-country tour. I have a
few speaking engagements and retreats throughout the year, but for the next six
months, all I’m doing is writing my new book.”

Steve came out with a tray. He glanced at her nervously
before setting a glass of red wine and a plate of cheese, meat, and fruit on
the table in front of her. She smiled when she saw the strawberries. He gave
her a tiny grin and she knew this was his apology.

“Thank you, Steve.”

He nodded and went back inside. She picked up a strawberry
and took a bite.
Brax
smiled at her.

“Delicious. I haven’t had strawberries in a long time. Fresh
fruit is seldom on the menu at the protection facility.”

“Things are improving, but I can imagine it wasn’t something
Uncle Sam wanted to pay for, fruit is ridiculously expensive these days. There
was such a long ban on interstate shipping during the first years of the
outbreak while the CDC tried to figure out and contain the spread of the virus,
many produce growers just went out of business.” He paused and cleared his
throat. “Let’s not think about anything depressing tonight. It’s important to
me for you to feel comfortable. You’ve had a stressful couple of days. I
thought we’d have something light now, and later, after…you know, if you’d
like—feel hungry, I’ll make you something special. I make the world’s best
grilled cheese.”

His awkwardness was adorable. For a man of words, he seemed
to be having a difficult time. She shook her head in mock disappointment. “You
mean I could be eating the world’s best grilled cheese right now? Well, I guess
these strawberries will have to do. I believe I would like to try your
sandwich, if you promise to show me your secrets for making it the world’s
best.”

“I wouldn’t teach just anyone, but you seem like a nice
girl. So when we have the house all to ourselves and everyone’s asleep, if you
aren’t too tired, I’m going to rock your world with my culinary skills.”

“Wow, author and chef. I’m a lucky woman.”

“Yes. Yes, you most certainly are,” he teased.

She laughed and began dipping her berries in the pink fruit
dip that sat on her plate in a little cup. The cubes of cheese and round slices
of meat tasted wonderful with the wine. She’d never had wine before, and it
took her a moment to adjust to the almost bitter flavor. After a few sips, she
decided she liked it. The warm feeling it gave her didn’t hurt either.

“I’d like to rock your world in many ways tonight,
Kristannie
.”

The way he said her name made her shiver. None of the others
used it the way he did. He was so handsome. If she had to choose whom she’d be
going to bed with tonight, she’d have chosen him. The realization was a
surprise. She’d been so sure she wasn’t going to like sex. She picked up her
napkin and used it to hide the heat she felt on her cheeks. She didn’t want him
to see her blushing. He’d know.

His observant eyes didn’t miss her action or her blush.
“What are you thinking about?”

Damn it, can he really know? I have to pull myself
together. If I let myself care about him, I’ll regret it.
“How much I like
wine. Can I have a second glass? Jared spilled the beans about your orders on
what to feed me, and I’m sure this isn’t on the list.”

“What those people don’t know won’t hurt them.” He reached
out and took her hand. She let him while the napkin fell to her lap. “Goddamn
it, woman, you make my
cock
so fucking hard.”

She didn’t know what to say. She was obligated to sleep with
him,
he didn’t have to make it anything more than it
was. He could legally throw her on the ground and claim his rights to her right
here and now. She knew she should be afraid or angry, but she wasn’t. Against
her better judgment, she wanted him too. Her appetite was gone. She pulled her
hand away and finished off her wine without looking at him.

“I want you too,” she whispered shyly. Even after the group
sex from the first night, she still felt like a virgin. Tonight, it would just
be the two of them. Her pussy literally began aching. The idea of his hands on
her, his mouth…she wished he were touching her right now. With the others, she
didn’t feel such a raw, desperate want. The sensation made her feel guilty, but
she wasn’t strong enough to push the desire away. She was suddenly glad he’d
waited. “I’m not really hungry anymore.”

“Me either.” He growled, throwing his napkin on the table.
“I’m taking you to my room tonight.”

She nodded, unsure of what to say or do. She could hear her
own heartbeat as it pounded painfully in her chest. After her drastic
initiation into the world of sexual activity, she marveled that the idea of
Brax
inside of her could make her so hot. He stood, his
eyes never broke contact with hers, his chair slid back, and he moved around
the small table with long, purposeful strides.

Brax
held out his hand. “Come to
my bed,
Kristannie
, and make me the happiest man in
the world tonight.”

That has to be the most romantic invitation for sex any
girl’s ever received. I have to stop letting myself forget I’m just a prize. He
doesn’t love me. For him, I’m the last woman on Earth.

Her eyes focused on his large, tan hand and she just
contemplated it quietly for a moment. She slowly began moving her hand toward
his. There was something in his eyes that told her this act meant something
more to him, she was conceding something if she took his offering.

“I would have chosen you.”

She stilled, looking up into his face. His expression was
earnest. A chill ran through her, his words were so eerily close to her
thoughts, it spooked her. “You are more than I deserve. Thank you.”
He had
me at ‘chosen’ dang it.
She knew there was no way she could keep her heart
out of this now.

Having felt a sense of protection from him the night before
and reading his book, a story that touched her deeply,
her
vulnerable heart longed to care about him. Her head was smart, but her heart
didn’t have a bit of common sense. Having a favorite risked the security of the
peaceful home she longed for.

Her hand found his and he gripped it tightly. Seeing
something move out of the corner of her eye, she looked up at the sky.
Fancifully, she thought she saw a shooting star. “Look.” She pointed up.