Goodbye Isn't Forever (4 page)

Jennifer
watched the emotions Zand portrayed with interest.  She and Zand had not
always been close.  Jennifer, since she had become sober and had
maintained an active part in Zand’s life, had never seen her brother this
way.  Zand was a caring person, but he did not let many people see that
side of him.

He
had a business persona that carried into his personal life.  Oh, Jennifer
had heard of her brother’s reputation in New York, but she didn’t pay it much
attention.  It was Zand’s way of not getting hurt.  But that was a
whole story in itself.  Jennifer shook her head and tried to listen to
Zand’s narrative.

“As
I was saying,” Zand continued, “we were assigned project partners for the
duration of the camp.  Alexandra was mine,” Zand gave a low laugh. 
“If I had known then what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of time
and heartache.”

This
statement brought Jennifer to attention in a hurry.  “What are you talking
about, Zand?  Are you saying that you have feelings for this girl?”

Zand
smiled and folded his hands around his warm coffee mug.  He shrugged his
shoulders rather than answer directly.

“I
wasn’t ready for someone like her back then.  At least I didn’t think I
was.  I thought it would fade with time.  Just a crazy, summer
crush.”

As
Jennifer looked on, Zand’s gaze focused on the wall across the room.  His
eyes became distant as he once again was transported back in time to his
mystery girl.

Zand
and Alex, after the initial awkwardness of their first meeting, soon found out
that they had a lot in common.  Besides being the offspring of affluent
businessmen, they both loved to read, and while Alex preferred any type of
movie, Zand preferred plays.  Music was a shared experience as each one
found the other’s taste new and intriguing.

Zand
opened Alex’s mind onto plays while Alex introduced Zand to the joys of
cinema.  Alex liked all of the mediums, especially television, and soon
she had Zand eagerly watching her favorite shows with her.

They
spent most of their waking moments together and neither realized how fast time
was flying by.  Camp was almost half over, and the friends were struggling
to complete their projects.

Zand
found himself almost shy in Alex’s presence and his A-type personality took a
back seat to Alex’s.  She was the unspoken leader between the two. 
And for those that had known Zand Gabriel before, they were stunned at the
change in the presence of this blonde enigma.

Zand
didn’t think about his actions in Alex’s presence.  He was just so
enamored by her beauty and intelligence that all he wanted to do was be around
Alex and listen.  She had a slight southern drawl that Zand found
endearing.  It was more pronounced, Zand noticed, when Alex was tired or
emotional.  He couldn’t resist agitating her at times just to bring out
her sexy-sounding enunciations.

After
their first meeting, Alex had held to her resolve and kept her flirting with
Zand low key.  She learned that Zand had a girlfriend, but Alex still felt
that there was something else below the surface.  She was biding her time
until she could unravel the mystery of her wonderful new friend.

Alex
knew that she was more than attracted to Zand.  She often wondered what
Zand would do, if, during one of their late night movie marathons, she leaned
over and kissed him.  The thought of an adverse reaction from Zand and
possibly losing his friendship, kept Alex from acting on her impulses.

The
fact that she was naturally just a touchy-feely type person worked in her
favor.  She could grab Zand’s arm or spontaneously hug him without Zand
thinking much about it.  Alex loved these moments and didn’t realize that
they were becoming more frequent.

Zand,
however, was starting to notice.

Zand
cleared his throat and glanced sheepishly at Jennifer.  He studied the
remnants of coffee left in his cup and struggled with how to proceed.

Jennifer,
on the other hand, was becoming engrossed in Zand’s late night tale.  She
watched her brother fidget and look completely uncomfortable.  Jennifer
smiled as she realized what Zand was struggling with.

She
reached out and patted Zand’s hand.  “It’s okay, Zand.  I don’t need
details of everything, you know?  It can remain undercover, if you know
what I mean, honey?”

Zand
stared at Jennifer for several moments until her meaning sank in.  Zand’s
eyes widened and then he let out a laugh.  “Jennifer, I didn’t have sex
with Alex!”

“What? 
You didn’t?  But, the flirting.  You talked about the flirting, and I
assumed that…”

“You
assumed what, Jennifer?”  Zand teased.  “That my somewhat sordid
reputation began when I was eighteen and with Alex?  That I took advantage
of her?  That maybe instead of working on a project, that I was exploring
the foreign landscape of a young and hot southern girl?

Jennifer
was becoming flustered and Zand was enjoying putting her there.  Jennifer
suddenly grabbed Zand’s coffee mug, left her chair, and practically ran for the
counter.

“I’ll
just refill this.  I know how much you love your coffee.  You can
keep talking.  I can hear fine.  Yes, just keep talking.  I can
hear just fine from here now, so, you can go ahead with whatever you need to
tell me.”

Zand
watched with amazement as Jennifer kept her back turned and continued to
mutter.  He was tempted to just make up some outlandish tale of orgies
that he and Alex had taken part in just to further agitate his sister. 
But his mind just couldn’t go there.  He was too absorbed with the memories
of a certain blonde to give it much effort.

It
wasn’t about whether or not he had had sex with Alex.  It was the sheer
fact that he wanted to.  He had only dated a couple of girls before he met
Alex, and even then, he hadn’t had sex with any of them.  They just seemed
to expect it and that had irritated Zand for some reason.  He didn’t dare
tell his friends.  None of them would have been able to understand the
concept of a platonic relationship.  Not during those crazy, teenage
years.  In truth, he hadn’t been that tempted, other than a natural
curiosity, but with Alex…

Zand
felt the goose bumps on his arms.  He shivered just thinking about how
much he had felt for the Alex of the past.  But the Alex of tonight? 
Heaven help him!  He could have easily lost himself with her in the middle
of the club, oblivious to onlookers.

He
felt the familiar tug as he remembered the kisses they had shared
earlier.  He could easily become aroused from that memory alone. 
Zand glanced at Jennifer, who was still occupying herself with their
coffees.  The reminder that he wasn’t alone was like being doused with
cold water.

Zand
sighed.  He would revisit that memory when he was alone in the confines of
his bedroom.  Definitely not here with his sister anywhere near.  He
attempted to put all thoughts of the grown up Alex out of his head and just
concentrate on his memories of the one from the past.

That
was proving to be easier said than done.

#

Jennifer
finally managed to refill their mugs and fix a plate of pastries. 
Glancing at the time made her realize that this was probably going to be her
breakfast before she had to make a mad dash for work.  Owning a bakery
meant that most weekends were spent working.  There were always weddings
or special events to occupy her time.

And
that was what she needed to keep her mind off the demons that lurked in her
subconscious.  Alcohol was in her blood, and it was an everyday battle to
keep just one step ahead of her addiction.  She had been sober for several
years now, but it was still something that she couldn’t relax with.  It
would always be a work in progress.

Jennifer
made her way back to the table with a tray laden with their coffee mugs,
plates, and an assortment of pastries.  As she settled in her seat and
filled her plate with the delectable treats, she glanced at Zand, who was still
staring longingly at the wall.

With
another glance at the time, Jennifer realized that she had better give Zand a
little prodding to finish his story.  She stifled a yawn, piled another
plate with pastries, and slid it in front of Zand.  The sweet aroma did
the trick.  Zand looked down and grinned before selecting one of his
favorite flavors.  He nodded in appreciation to Jennifer as he took a bite
out of the warm treat.  Jennifer’s pastry chef was just superb.

As
he savored the sweet, aromatic, and tasty treat, his mind once again found its
way to Alex.

Zand
didn’t mind Alex touching or hugging him.  Not at all, and that was
starting to be the problem.  He was becoming used to Alex’s touch and only
noticed when he wasn’t getting it.

Zand
had also noticed the looks that Alex had started receiving from some of the
other guys at the camp.  One, especially, was becoming brazen when he
would see Zand and Alex out together.

He
would ignore Zand and then openly check Alex out.  Alex didn’t seem to
notice the attention, but Zand sure did, and he was not happy with this
boy.  In fact, he wished that he would quit looking at Alex in such an
obvious way.  She was his Alex, damn it!

Zand
had paled at where his mind was taking him.  His Alex?  Why should he
care who checked out Alex?  They were friends.  Maybe on the road to
being best friends, but surely that was all.  Zand knew that Alex had a
flirty nature and generally just loved people.  He knew she didn’t have
anyone waiting for her back home, but he had not thought about asking her if
she was interested in someone at camp.

Was
Alex seeing someone here?  Maybe that brave little dweeb that kept
checking her out when she was with him.  They did have an activity or two
together, Zand thought.  He hoped it wasn’t her swimming class.  That
little thing that Alex liked to wear was barely two pieces of material.

At
eighteen, Alex already had the body for it, but Zand wished that she wouldn’t
wear it to class.  She looked hot in it.  Zand was stunned at his
choice of words.  When had he become so aware of what Alex wore?

Alex
did have a one-piece swimsuit that was camp issue.  Zand rather liked it
on her, too, but Alex had laughed at it.  It was too constricting, she had
told Zand.  She would rather wear nothing as that confining excuse for a
swimsuit.

He
should be grateful, Zand thought, that at least she wore the skimpy suit. 
Otherwise, Alex, being the free spirit she was, might just wear nothing to
prove a point.  That thought didn’t set well with Zand and he didn’t want
to analyze why.  He just knew that the thoughts of Alex with another guy
were repulsive ones.

So
he had quickly shoved those horrible thoughts to the back of his mind. 
Alex was free to date who she wanted, wasn’t she?  She just didn’t want
anybody that was here at camp, that’s all.  That was why she spent every
free moment with Zand.  These guys weren’t her type.  Just like the
girls here weren’t Zand’s type.  Good-looking, rich, but still something
was missing.  So, he preferred to spend most of his time with Alex. 
That had to be it.

Zand
let his mind go to his supposed current girlfriend, Bree.  It was
customary to have a date for the end of the summer mixer that the camp
had.  It was normally a time that Zand looked forward to, but not this
year.

No,
he hadn’t thought of her hardly at all this time.  By now, he would have
invited her to visit at least once, but he had been reluctant to do so. 
Giving up any of the time spent with Alex just wasn’t an option.

Jackson
had mentioned Bree repeatedly whenever he called, but Zand just couldn’t seem
to care.  All of his conversations with his dad had inevitably led to his
new friend, Alex.

So
much so, that Jackson had secretly had Alex’s family checked out.  He had
been relieved to see that her parents were part of the same circle that he
inhabited. He hadn’t met them, yet, but, if Zand kept mentioning this girl
every time he called, then he might have to schedule a meeting with them. 
He had other plans for Zand for the next few years and none of those included
falling for a girl right now.

The
end of camp was approaching, and Zand and Alex were still at odds on their project. 
Finally, one night, after a long movie marathon featuring Grace Kelly and Cary
Grant, Alex had an epiphany.  Although their project needed to be a
free-standing business, it didn’t have to be Wall Street bound.

This
camp had the dual purpose of prepping the young elite in both the social graces
one needed to exist in such a society and also the fortitude of handling the
responsibilities that would soon be placed on their shoulders.  Most of
them were the offspring of proprietors of established companies that expected
them to slide into ready-made positions upon completion of an Ivy League
education.

Alex
had the perfect project solution, she had assured Zand.  Combining his
love of art with Alex’s love of film, they could make the most unique business. 
A modern art gallery that utilized its space to display the art as if it were a
movie unfolding before the viewer’s eyes.

Section
upon section would slowly reveal a movie-based theme, that could change within
a time regiment to allow different artists to be showcased.  Alex enthused
that mock film studios could act as backers for the establishment and by
showcasing current films, it would show a return on their investment through
advertising.  It was brilliant!

Alex
had been so excited with her idea, that Zand had jumped on board
immediately.  In the back of his mind, he knew that it would not be one
that would please his father.  He liked the projects that could turn into
a business that could, indeed, be Wall Street bound.

But
here, with Alex, the thoughts of Jackson’s disappointment were fleeting at
best.  Ones that he quickly hid so the blonde wouldn’t see a glimpse of
his uncertainty.

In
his quiet time, when Zand could give his thoughts free reign, he admitted that
owning his own gallery was what he dreamed of.  In the past, when he had
on one occasion mentioned to his father that he would like to pursue a future
in art, he had nearly had a coronary.

His
response had left little doubt to Zand that he would not finance an education
of an artistic nature.  Charitable donations in the name of art were
acceptable, encouraged even, but that was it.  Jackson was a business snob
and anything below a Fortune 500 company was a failure.  He had reminded
Zand that he was a Gabriel and a Gabriel did not fail nor participate in
trivial projects.

And
to Jackson, an art involved project was as trivial as they came.