Goodbye Isn't Forever (7 page)

Zand
had smiled at Mr. Kensington and tried to ignore Alex’s pleading look. 
She was encouraging him, Zand realized, to take the step now in putting his
dreams in motion.

Zand
could feel the heat radiating from Jackson’s stare even though his back was turned
to him.  He knew then that he could never utter the words that he longed
to say.

He
was just eighteen and Jackson was his only parent.  There wasn’t a mom in
the background to step in and smooth things over when they argued, or kept it
from turning into an ugly battle.  Jackson was all he had and Zand knew
that he had to respect that.

At
least, for now.

“Someday,
I suppose, Mr. Kensington,” Zand began as he heard Jackson clear his throat,
“but Dad is right.  My future is at Gabriel Enterprises,” he managed to
choke out.

Zand
glanced at Alex.  He saw the look of exasperation on her face and wished
that he could change it.  But, Zand’s life wasn’t as simple as
Alex’s.  He didn’t have the support that Alex had, so, he had to make the
most of what was offered.  An Ivy League education with strings.

The
rest of the evening was kind of a blur for Zand.  He vaguely remembered
congratulating the rest of the winners and posing for various pictures. 
The checks were presented, but they couldn’t officially claim it until after
high school graduation.  A parent or legal guardian was to be selected to
receive it on their behalf.

Both
of them agreed that the money needed to be invested, and, when Alex’s parents
had offered some choices within their own firm, minus the usual company fee,
Zand had eagerly accepted.

Jackson
had been put on the spot, but since he had expressed an interest in them
earlier himself, it was unseemly that he would protest now.

Zand
knew that Jackson would voice his displeasure later, but he and Alex had worked
hard for their prize and he deemed it only fitting that they make the choice of
the investment firm.

The
fact that it was owned and operated by Alex’s parents probably had influenced
his decision to invest with them, but keeping a connection with the
Kensington’s was worth putting up with Jackson’s displeasure.  But, more
importantly, Zand knew that he would have a valid excuse to see Alex, at least
until they had graduated from high school.

And
that alone was worth dealing with anything that Jackson could possibly put on
him.

After
all of the parents had left the camp’s premises, Zand and Alex found themselves
alone in Alex’s room.  Zand had both dreaded and looked forward to this
time alone with her.

Alex,
on the other hand, wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to Zand about
first.  She was elated with their win, a little anxious about their kiss,
and disappointed with Zand’s reaction to Jackson.

In
Alex’s eyes, Zand had blown the perfect opportunity.  She was starting to
realize that she didn’t know as much about Zand’s life as she had thought.

While
she had been an open book, Zand hadn’t been as forthcoming.  It hadn’t
been a problem for them until now.

Zand
was nervous as he busied himself with looking at the pictures Alex had sitting
on her desk.  He picked up one of Alex standing in between her
parents.  It was easy to see the adoration on her parents’ faces for their
only daughter.

Zand
was so engrossed with his analysis that he didn’t hear Alex approach from
behind.

“I’m
sorry, Zand,” Alex said softly.

For
the second time tonight, Alex’s soft voice made him jump.

Alex
laughed out loud.  Zand turned to look at her and couldn’t keep from
laughing at himself.

“I
am constantly making you jump, aren’t I?” Alex joked.

“I know. 
I guess my mind was far away just now.”

“And
earlier?” Alex couldn’t help but ask.

Zand
swallowed.  He knew exactly what he was thinking about earlier, but he
didn’t know if he wanted Alex to know.  He didn’t know what he thought
about it himself.

Instead,
he just shrugged and walked around the room, effectively putting some much
needed distance between them.

Alex
sighed.  She knew that Zand was not sure how to act since the kiss. 
It had barely been a kiss.  If he reacted this way to that feather light
touch, imagine what a real kiss would evoke.  Alex suppressed a giggle.

Zand
had been watching Alex from across the room.  He recognized the
mischievous look on his friend’s face.  He knew the boldness that Alex
possessed and wondered at what she was up to now.  Zand wasn’t sure he
wanted to know.

“Zand?”

Zand
willed himself to stop pacing and face Alex.  “Yes?”

“We
need to talk about tonight.”

“Yeah,
I know.  I apologize for my bastard of a dad.  He just has his heart
set on…”

“That’s
not what I wanted to talk about,” Alex interrupted.

“No?”
Zand croaked.

Alex
grinned at Zand’s squeaky voice.  “No, and you know what I’m talking
about.  As far as Jackson goes, well, I already knew that he would be
difficult.”

“Difficult? 
Really, Alex, that is like saying a mule is just slightly stubborn! 
Jackson is beyond difficult.  I am sure that he is counting down the last
days of camp so he can set me straight on what my future is going to be like.”

“And
what is it going to be like, Zand?”  Alex was tired of skirting the
issue.  “Am I allowed to be anywhere in it?  I mean, we are really
good friends, right?”  Alex was afraid to ask what she really wanted to
know.  She wasn’t sure that she could take a rejection from Zand.

“The
best, Alex.  This summer has meant more to me than any other time. 
And it’s because of you.  We are amazing friends.  Is that going to
change just because we aren’t at camp anymore?” Zand was getting upset. 
He always became upset when something was near to his heart.  Like Alex.

Alex’s
annoyance faded when she heard the emotion in Zand’s voice.  She reacted
the way she always did.  She closed the space between them and hugged him.

Zand
was stiff for an instant and then allowed himself to be comforted by his
friend…his project partner, his...?  Zand was struggling with defining
what he and Alex really were while simultaneously trying to forget how
disappointed his father had been with him tonight.  But the most
disturbing thoughts of all were starting to hit Zand with an intensity that he
hadn’t expected.  The thoughts of not seeing Alex, nor spending most of
his waking hours with her, were the most disturbing of all.

Zand
tightened his arms around Alex, and held her with all of the passion an
eighteen-year old could muster.  Thoughts of Jackson faded away as Zand
became all too aware of what he held in his arms.

The
dynamic of their relationship was starting to shift, and both teenagers were
feeling the change.  Keeping Zand in her arms, Alex slowly walked them
over to her bed.  She gently eased Zand into a sitting position and,
keeping her arms around him, took her place beside him.

Alex
was half turned towards Zand, who had his face buried in Alex’s shoulder. 
She stroked Zand’s hair while the other gently rubbed his back.

“Shh,”
Alex comforted.  “It will be okay with your dad.  Just give him time
to cool down.”

Alex,
I’m not worried about my dad,” Zand mumbled against Alex’s shoulder.

Alex
stilled her hands.  “You’re not?”

Zand
lifted his head and gazed into Alex’s eyes.  “No.  It’s you...us… that
I’m worried about.”

“What
about us?” Alex ventured cautiously.

“The
thoughts of not seeing you all the time.  I don’t know if I can...” 
Zand’s voice trailed off, afraid of what his treacherous mind might reveal.

Alex
pulled Zand closer and just held him as tight as she could.  She didn’t
know how she was going to manage it, either.  Being with Zand everyday was
something that Alex had grown accustomed to.

She
was whispering softly in Zand’s ear, trying to ease his pain.  Alex’s
affectionate nature just automatically kicked in and she found herself
alternating between calming words and soft kisses planted against Zand’s
hair.  She wasn’t noticing how often she was kissing Zand, but she
suddenly realized that Zand had gone perfectly still.

Alex
stilled her motions as Zand slowly raised his head.  He let his eyes
travel slowly upwards until he was looking directly at Alex.

Zand
let his gaze travel over Alex’s face before settling on her lips.  He
didn’t question his next move.  He was tired of wondering if what he had
been feeling was something to act on or not.  All he knew was that after
Alex had kissed him earlier, he had wanted to do it again.  And the vision
of Alex in that black dress was more than he could ignore.

Zand
felt himself leaning towards Alex.  He had a split second doubt that maybe
Alex didn’t want a repeat performance from earlier.  But the doubts didn’t
have time to fester as Alex shifted one hand and placed it on the back of
Zand’s head.

With
the gentle pressure from Alex’s hand, Zand let himself close the small gap
between them as his lips softly touched Alex’s.  Zand’s mind was
processing the feel and texture of Alex’s lips.  They were so soft. 
Much softer than what he had imagined.  Zand didn’t realize that he hadn’t
moved until he felt Alex’s head slowly tilt to the side.

The
movement caused Zand’s lips to open a little more and Alex didn’t waste the
moment.  She let her tongue lightly touch his lips and dip a little
inside.

Zand
couldn’t suppress a low moan and was instantly embarrassed.  He started to
pull back, but the pressure to the back of his head slightly increased. 
He felt Alex’s tongue enter a little more and he opened wider to receive it.

Zand’s
mind ceased to work as he just responded to the kiss.  Soft lips
continually met their masculine counterpart, while tongues touched, tasted, and
slowly became acquainted.

Zand
could hear moans but couldn’t decide whether they were from him or Alex and
finally quit caring.  His hands had a mind of their own and while one was
exploring Alex’s upper back, the other had found its way to her lower.

He
suddenly felt the bedspread against his hand.  It took Zand a few seconds
to realize that it was indeed his hand and the palm was resting against Alex’s
backside.

To
add to his complete mortification, he noticed that he had ceased to feel the
material of Alex’s dress, because his hand had dipped down into the slight vee
in the back and had been caressing Alex’s bare skin.

Zand
immediately pulled back and practically jumped off the bed.

“Oh
my God!  Alex, I...” Zand was already panicking and running his fingers
through his thick hair.  “I’m so sorry.  I just…I just…oh, God…I
don’t know!”

Alex
had taken a moment to compose herself.  She had become so lost in the
kisses that she didn’t understand why Zand was going crazy.  The words
hands, and butt, were finally filling her brain.  Oh, God, had she touched
Zand’s butt?

Alex
listened a moment and realized that Zand was apologizing to
her
. 
So, Zand’s hand had been on
hers
?  Really? And she had missed that?

Alex
wanted to jump up and down at the realization that Zand had lost himself so
much during their kissing.  She knew that she had picked up on something
when they had first met.  Zand just didn’t know it, yet.

Was
Zand going to see that it was a good thing?

Alex
listened to Zand’s ranting and watched with dread at his pacing.

She
had better get Zand calmed down quickly before he second guessed everything and
ran like hell.

Alex
rose from the bed and silently approached Zand, who was still ranting and
raving.

She
tentatively reached out and touched Zand’s arm, “Zand?”

For
the third time that evening Zand nearly jumped out of his skin.  This
time, however, Alex wasn’t amused.  She needed Zand to calm down.

“It’s
okay, Zand.  It really is.  I wanted that kiss as much as you.”

Zand
eyed Alex with disdain.  “Yeah, but I bet you didn’t bargain for an
octopus, did you?”

Alex
grinned.  “I don’t think that you are an octopus, Zand.  You weren’t
out of line as far as I’m concerned.  Besides, I’m not sure I would mind
it as long as it was with you,” Alex added coyly, trying to wink.

Zand
laughed in spite of himself.  Alex’s attempt to wink was just too
cute.  He closed the distance between them and once again found himself in
Alex’s arms.

“I’m
sorry, Alex.  This is just so crazy.”

Zand
pulled back from Alex’s embrace.  “Don’t get me wrong.  I think that
you are just amazing in every sense of the word.  Inside and…”

“And?” 
Alex prompted.

Zand
grinned sheepishly.  “And…outside.  You have to know that I think you
are just,” Zand sighed, “beautiful.”

“Really? 
You think I’m beautiful?”

Zand
rolled his eyes.  “Yes, Alex.  Look at you!  And that
dress.  It just makes me want to….” Zand trailed off.  He was
starting to be afraid of everything that he was feeling for Alex.  His
best friend.  His best friend that was also stunning.

Alex
saw the look of fear in Zand’s eyes.  She didn’t want him to think right
now.

“Makes
you want to do what, Zand?  Borrow it sometime?”  Alex added
impishly.

Zand
chuckled.  “I don’t think it would look as good on me, Alex.”

“Maybe
not, but I think that you are just perfect in your black don’t-fuck-with-me
suit.”

“My
what?” Zand asked incredulously.

“Oh,
don’t act so naive, Zand.  You know good and well that you exude power in
that thing.”  Alex leaned forward and ran her hand down the arm of Zand’s
jacket.  “You are so amazing!  I took one look at you and forgot to
breathe.”

With
that, Alex grabbed the lapels of Zand’s jacket and pulled him in for a
scorching kiss.  Zand eagerly responded and both quickly got lost in the
moment.

“Miss
Kensington?  Alex?”

It
was a full minute before either one realized that someone was knocking on
Alex’s door.

“Shit!” 
Alex mumbled under her breath. She pulled away from Zand and immediately
started fixing her appearance.

Zand
was still a bit dazed and was slow to respond.

“Miss
Kensington?  Can you open the door, please?”  An authoritative voice
demanded.

“Shit,
Alex.  That’s the director.  Do you think she knows?”

“No. 
It’s okay, Zand.  She probably forgot to tell us something about the
project,” Alex soothed.

“Yeah,
you’re right,” Zand let out a deep breath.  He ran over to the mirror and
quickly checked his appearance before Alex swung open the door.

Zand
had just settled himself in Alex’s desk chair, when the director walked in the
room.

“Oh,
Zand.  I thought I would find you here,” the director said with a smile.

Zand
glanced nervously at Alex.  “Oh?  You are looking for me?”

“Well,
both of you, actually.  I have just come from your room and assumed that
you would still be with Alex.”