Goodbye Isn't Forever (9 page)

Zand
finished talking and Jennifer stared at his bent head.  Leave it to
Jackson to interfere.

“Okay,
Zand.  You were only gone two weeks, so what happened when you came back?”
 Jennifer asked.  “You called her, right?  And told her what an
ass Daddy can be?”

“Well,
it was more like two and a half.  And…not exactly.”

“What
do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”

Zand
looked grim.  “I mean, no, I didn’t get to tell her anything. Apparently,
while we were on this important business trip to London, Alex’s Gran passed
away.  I had all these messages on the answering machine when I got back.”

“Oh,
no, Zand!  Did she understand when you finally reached her?”

“That’s
just it, Jennifer.  I never did reach her.”

Jennifer
looked at Zand as if he had suddenly grown horns.  “How is that
possible?  Couldn’t you have given a message to someone that knew how to
reach Alex?”

“It apparently
happened the day before we left.  The first day that Alex and I hadn’t
spoken since camp and her grandmother dies!”

Jennifer
closed her eyes at the turn of events.  “I’m sorry, Zand.  That must
have been hard to accept.”

“By
the time that I returned and was able to call, they were gone.  Alex and
her parents, just gone.”

“What
do you mean?  No one was at the house?”

“Just
a phone service or something was there to disconnect the line.  He said
that the house was being closed up for a while and that the family had already
left.”

“I
sent a few letters anyway, hoping they would be forwarded to wherever Alex
lived.”

“Good
idea, Zand.  Do you think that she got them?”

Zand
shook his head, “I got them back stamped ‘Return to Sender’.”

Jennifer
was amazed at the sheer misfortune.

“So…”

“So,
nothing, Jennifer.  I was angry and hurt and mad at myself and
Jackson.  I confronted him and told him what had happened.  He
pretended to try to reach her parents, but said that they had gone abroad and
couldn’t be reached.”

“You
believed him?”

“Of
course I did.  I was eighteen, Jennifer.  I didn’t want to believe
that my dad could be that contriving and heartless.  Would you?”

“No,
I suppose not.  Even though he is, I guess I would have given him the
benefit of the doubt at that age.  But, you live and learn, right?”

Zand
stared at Jennifer.  All of the frustration and sadness of his past with
Alex was evident in his eyes.  “I did that, I suppose.  I lived and
learned.  Just not the way that I had envisioned it.”

Jennifer
sighed.  “It never is, Zand.  It never is.”

Zand
stood up and stretched.  He grabbed his coffee cup and empty plate and
took them to the sink.  He walked back over to where Jennifer was still
seated, lost in thought.

He
leaned down and gave his sister a hug.

“Thanks, Jennifer.  I guess I had a lot to get
off my chest.”

Jennifer smiled at her younger brother. 
“Anytime, Zand.  You know where to find me.”

Zand
smiled and walked to the door.  As he opened it, Jennifer called after
him.

“Zand
wait!  I just thought of something.  That check.  The one you
gave to her parents.  What happened with that after you and Alex
graduated?”

Zand
almost hated to tell her.  “It was still in an account, earning interest.”

Jennifer
brightened, “Oh?  Did you at least see her parents then?”

Zand
hesitated.  God, this was starting to sound really bad.  “No,” Zand
actually chuckled at his absurd luck, or, lack of it.  “The company was no
longer owned by her parents.  Apparently, it had changed hands the year
before, so….” Zand shrugged.

Jennifer
stared at him in amazement.  “No word?  Nothing?  Until
tonight?”

“No,
not a damn thing!”

“Well,
look at it this way,” Jennifer tried to encourage him, “at least you two were
in the right place earlier.  It could happen again.”

Zand
smiled at the memory of the shared kisses with Alex earlier.

“Oh,
I’m not worried about that, Jennifer.  She will definitely find me.”

Jennifer
looked dubiously at her brother.  He was evidently more tired than she had
realized.

“Oh,
ok, Zand, are you awake enough to drive?  You can sleep here, you know.”

Zand
chuckled.  “I’m fine, Jennifer.  I’ll see you at the bakery later
on.”

Zand
opened the door and stepped through.  He leaned back in and grinned at
Jennifer.

“It’s
not only the right place, Jennifer.  It’s the right time.”

And
with a parting wink, Zand was gone.

Alex
was quickly brought back to reality when she heard a car door shut
nearby.  She watched as a blue car eased out of its parking space and
drove away.  She glanced at the dashboard clock and gasped.  It was
almost five in the morning.  She had been sitting in her car for nearly
three hours lost in memories of the past.

Damn
it!  Alex was brought abruptly back to the present and her current
dilemma. She had come here in search of answers, but her mind had betrayed her
with its constant remembrances of Zand.

Zand--laughing
and joking.  Zand--serious and intelligent.  Zand--powerful and
breathtaking.  Zand--warm lips and sensual body.

Zand--damn,
damn, damn!!

Alex
smacked her steering wheel and sighed as she laid her head against it.

Did
she really want to know anything?  So many years had passed and Alex had
finally quit wondering what might have been.  She had buried those
adolescent feelings years ago and just concentrated on achieving her own
dreams.  And, now, a few months shy of thirty, she had achieved well above
her original goals.

Promotion
after promotion had finally led to her taking over a film studio that she had
been a part of since its inception.  She was not that eighteen-year-old
girl anymore.  She was a confident, successful woman.

Alex
sighed as the truth reared its ugly head.  She may be all of those things
now, but one part of that eighteen-year-old girl still remained.  As she
remembered the feel of Zand in her arms only hours before, she knew which part
that it was.  The part that was still reeling from the effects of Zand
Gabriel!

Damn,
damn, damn!!

#

Jennifer
had watched Zand leave and marveled at the parting remarks.  Her brother
certainly didn’t lack in the confidence department, or else that kiss earlier
had just addled his brain.

Jennifer
chuckled at that thought.  Maybe it had been mind-blowing for him, but
there was still a lot of water under the bridge.  She wondered if Zand
fully understood the ramifications of leaving Alex all those years ago at such
a vulnerable state.  Whether it had been intentional or not, that girl
never got the opportunity to find out.

“Whoa!”
Jennifer mumbled to herself as she cleaned up her own dishes from the table.

“That
is some story.  Zand may be right about her coming to find him, but with
both barrels blazing.  I don’t think that Zand is ready for that.  If
he thinks he will be met with open arms, then my little brother is going to get
one hell of a surprise.”

Jennifer
paused as she realized that she was talking out loud to herself.  Why stop
now?

“Well,
that’s what happens when you stay up all night!  I’ve got to get a little
sleep before going in to work.  So what if I’m late?  Who’s going to
say anything to me?  Me?”

Jennifer
laughed out loud at her own humor.  She was going to bed and she would let
them know later that she would get there before the day was over, or just take
the whole day off.

No, that
would be too much of a shock.  She would be bombarded with calls because
she had never taken a full day off.  It wasn’t worth the annoyance. 
She knew the main concern would be that she had fallen off the wagon.

She
sighed.  “Not going to happen.  I just need a little sleep.”

The
knocking on the door interrupted her inner tirade.  Who could it be, now,
at this hour?  She glanced at the wall clock.  Probably Zand.

She
scanned the room on her way to the door trying to see what Zand must have
forgotten.  Or, maybe he realized that he was too tired to drive back to
the hotel.  That must be it.

Jennifer
didn’t bother to check the peep hole as she unlocked the door handle and pulled
it open.

“Decided
to stay, did you…,” Jennifer’s voice trailed off as she stared at her early
morning visitor.

“Oh,
hi!”  Jennifer was too shocked to do much more than stand there.

“Hello.
 Sorry, Jennifer, I know it’s late…or early.  I just…well, now that
I’m here I think that I just made a big mistake.  I guess I didn’t think
this through.”  The visitor looked down at the floor.  She smiled
faintly and looked back at Jennifer.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just going to
go and let you get back to sleep.”

As
she turned to go, Jennifer reached out and grabbed her arm.  “It’s
okay.  Trust me, you didn’t interrupt my sleep.”  Jennifer chuckled
at her own humor.  “Come on in.  You can tell me what’s wrong while
I,” Jennifer inwardly cringed at the thought, “put on some coffee.”

Jennifer
opened the door wider, and turned away, leaving her visitor the option of
following.

Outside
the entrance, the woman was still second guessing her decision.  She was
here and coffee did sound inviting.  Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea,
after all.  She crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her,
following Jennifer into the kitchen.

“Can
I help?” she offered.

Jennifer
glanced at her late night guest.  Although they had been friends for some
time, this was the first time for such an unorthodox visit.

“No,
just have a seat and I’ll bring our coffee over.”

The
visitor fidgeted with a candle on the table while she waited for her hostess to
join her.  She really had no idea how to approach the subject that she
wanted to discuss.  She was going to have to be brutally honest.

The
coffee was finally ready and Jennifer brought over two steaming mugs.

She
placed one in front of her visitor and took the seat opposite her.

“So,
what is on your mind, A.K.?”

A.K.
had been staring into her mug and suddenly looked up at Jennifer and
stared.  “I need to ask you some questions about,” A.K. looked off briefly
before letting her gaze land on Jennifer, “your brother.”

“My
brother?”  Jennifer studied her guest.  “I didn’t know that you knew
him.”

“Well,
it has been a while.”  She grinned faintly at Jennifer.  “Did I ever
tell you what my initials stand for?”

Jennifer
was puzzled.  Her initials?  It was almost daylight and she came by
to talk about her
initials
?  Maybe she was a little drunk. 
Jennifer casually leaned in closer to see if she could smell alcohol.  No,
just a faint hint of an expensive perfume lingered.

“No,
I met you as just A.K., and honestly, I’ve not given it a lot of thought. 
A.K. is a little, well, plain for you, but if that’s what you like to be
called, then it’s your choice.”

A.K.
had to grin at Jennifer’s reasoning.  “Well, there was a reason that I
only wanted you to know me as A.K., and nothing more.”

Jennifer
was really puzzled now.  “Okay, you seem to be sober, but you are not
making a whole lot of sense.  Why did you want me to just know you by your
initials and what on earth does that have to do with Zand?”

The
late night visitor chuckled and looked off for a moment.  She took a deep
breath and continued, “Jennifer, my initials, A.K., stand for Alexandra, or
Alex, Kensington.”

Jennifer
was suddenly very much awake.  Alexandra Kensington, Alexandra Kensington,
where had she just heard that name?  Then it hit her.  Jennifer
stared at A.K., or rather Alex, as if seeing her for the first time.

“Oh
my God!  You are
Alex
? 
Zand’s Alex
?”

Alex
was a little taken aback at the admission from Jennifer.  Zand’s
Alex?  Is that what she had just called her?

Jennifer
was trying to come to terms that she had been seeing Zand’s girl from the past,
practically daily, for at least a couple of years.  How had Zand not seen
her on his visits to L.A.?  A.K. and the girls were regulars at her
bakery.

Neither
one spoke for a moment as each woman gathered her thoughts.  Since Alex
had arrived uninvited at Jennifer’s door, she felt compelled to break the
silence.

“You
called me ‘Zand’s Alex’.  Has Zand…” Alex wasn’t sure how to phrase the
question.

Jennifer
shook her head in wonderment.  “You won’t believe this, A.K., I mean
Alex.  Which do you prefer?”

Alex
smiled slightly.  “It’s your preference, really.  I will answer to
both, so it’s up to you.  Gaddy prefers Alex, while Toni likes A.K.
better.”  Alex shrugged with indifference.

At
the mention of Toni, Jennifer couldn’t resist, “That girl is a little
different, isn’t she?”

“Toni?” 
Alex had to grin.  “Yes, she’s a good friend, but sometimes she is more of
an acquired taste, I suppose.  You just have to get used to her a little
at a time.”

“That
is putting it lightly, but, to get back to the topic of my little brother,”
Jennifer winked over her coffee mug.  “You just missed him.”

“Zand
was here?  Tonight?” Alex leaned in toward Jennifer, making sure she had
heard correctly.

“He
sure was.  You two saw each other earlier, I understand?”

Alex
straightened and looked off, answering quietly, “That we did.”

“Well,
honey, from my brother’s standpoint, it must have been one hell of a meeting.”

Alex
smiled at the memory of the dance floor diversion.  One hell of a meeting
was right!

“Well,
it was a surprise to see him, to say the least.  I haven’t seen him in
nearly twelve years.”

Jennifer
let out a whistle.  “Surprise, I imagine!  That’s putting it
mildly!  You and Zand…” Jennifer trailed off, unsure of how much of what
she knew to reveal.

Alex
raised an eyebrow at Jennifer.  “Zand and I what?”

Jennifer
let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.  “Let’s just
say that Zand filled me in on the two of you tonight.  I didn’t know
anything about you until now.”

Alex
looked disappointed.  “Oh.  I guess Zand never mentioned me or camp?”

Jennifer
reached out and patted Alex’s hand that rested by her cup.  “Alex, I was
never around for Zand to tell anything to.  Probably when you met Zand, I
was…away… and to be honest, the last place I wanted to be was home.  I
stayed gone for as long as I could,” Jennifer’s voice trailed off as she was
beset with guilt for not being there for Zand.  She had left him with
Jackson and out of sight, out of mind.  At least until she found herself
in rehab.  The years before her first stint in rehab were basically just a
blur in her mind.  She still occasionally had flashbacks of some parties
that Jennifer hoped were just bad dreams.

Jennifer
focused on the present.  “Anyway, I didn’t have much of a relationship
with Zand until his college years, and even then I only saw him during holidays
or breaks.  Zand grew up with Jackson and whatever nanny would stay that
week, I am sorry to say.  Our mother let Jackson keep her at bay after the
divorce.  We never really knew why and then we heard that she had died
when Zand was just a little boy.”

Alex
shuddered as she remembered Jackson and everything that Zand said about
him.  Jackson was a good provider, but he lacked the compassion and
gentleness that every child needs, especially with only one parent.  It
was unimaginable the type of influence that he had on Zand with his preset
ideas for his future.  Maybe he was the reason why she never heard from
him.

“So,
Jennifer, what did Zand have to say about me?” Alex asked casually, as she
sipped the hot liquid in her mug.

Jennifer
watched Alex for a moment.  Coming to a decision, she offered the only
advice that she felt comfortable with.  “I think that you and Zand have
some unfinished business, and, I think it would be better letting him speak for
himself.”

Alex’s
eyes blazed as she looked at Jennifer, nearly slamming the mug back on the
table.  “
What
is better coming from him, Jennifer?  Maybe
where the hell was he twelve years ago?  Or, for the past twelve for that
matter.  There is an invention called a telephone.  Has he never
heard of it?”  Alex stopped her tirade.  Jennifer was not the one she
was angry at.

“I’m
sorry, Jennifer.  I guess there is more anger left than I thought.” Alex
shook her head.  “It has nothing to do with you.  I don’t even know
why I came.”

“It’s
okay, A.K.  Just from what I know, I can’t say I blame you.  And, not
that I don’t enjoy your company, because I do, and you’re always welcome here,
but I am curious as to what brought you here...so early.”

Alex
laughed.  “Thanks for being so polite, Jennifer.  But I think that
roughly translates into a ‘what the hell is so important that it couldn’t wait
until a sane hour’, type of question.”  She chuckled softly, “And you
would be right.  I guess I was so shocked at Zand’s appearance at the
club, that I had all of these questions of ‘why and how’ and my need to know
now brought me here to you.  I have been sitting in my car in your parking
lot reminiscing for the past three hours.”

Alex
let her head fall into her hands, “I don’t know anymore,” came the muffled
response.

Jennifer’s
heart went out to her guest.  “A.K., if you are wondering why Zand has not
contacted you, then I can’t answer.  Only Zand can tell you that.  I
agree that my brother has a lot of explaining to do, but what did you want to
ask me?”

Alex
raised her head.  “I suppose that I wanted to know, why, after all of
these years he just shows up at my favorite club.  I go there a lot
Jennifer, and I have never seen nor heard of Zand being there.  And
according to Toni, it would have been major because he is some sort of a Casanova
in New York,” Alex waved her hand to stop Jennifer from responding.

“I
don’t even want to know about that, Jennifer.  Not yet.  I guess I
need to know how long he is here for and where I can find him, if I... if I…
need to,” Alex stammered out the last few words.

Jennifer
told her all that she knew and gave Alex a comforting hug when she rose to
leave.  As Jennifer closed the door behind her, Alex started walking down
the long hallway to the exit. She suddenly felt so overwhelmed that she stopped
and leaned her back against the wall, trying to calm her swirling emotions.

It
was starting to sink in that she and Zand were actually in the same city. 
And closer than she had thought.  Zand was staying in a hotel that was a
mere fifteen-minute drive from Alex’s beach house.  Closer still with
little traffic and a heavy foot.

Was
she actually thinking about going to his hotel?  According to Jennifer,
Zand had been equally surprised to see her.  Somehow, Alex doubted that
was completely true.

Zand
had been very sure of himself tonight and Alex got the impression that he knew
exactly who he was kissing.  If he didn’t, then maybe those stories were
true and Alex would have just helped increase the numbers.

Like
hell she would!

With
anger spurring her tired body, Alex walked with long, purposeful strides to her
car.  She got in and glanced at her dashboard clock and didn’t blink twice
at the time, 6:30
a.m
.

Alex
started her car and smiled as she heard the engine roar to life.  Her car
was as eager as she and they were on a mission.  Alex shifted to first and
sped out of the parking lot.

Alex
knew the traffic would be light this early on a Saturday morning.  Most
people were still recovering from their Friday night activities.  Alex
smiled.  She loved weekends in L.A.

As
she approached the vicinity of Zand’s hotel, Alex was struggling with her
decision to show up at his door.  Although she was bold enough to do so,
she remembered that she was still wearing her clothes from the night
before.  Maybe a shower and a change of clothing was in order before
banging down Zand’s hotel door.

Alex
grinned at her inner thoughts.  She shifted gears and sped past the exit
to the hotel and maneuvered down the highway to her own.  She would get
refreshed and invigorated with a shower and a light breakfast and then hunt
Zand down.

Hunt
Zand down?  God, Kensington!  Alex thought to herself.  She was
reverting to her southern roots.  Was she the hunter and Zand the
prey?  Alex just laughed out loud.

Nothing
about the man that she had kissed the night before would embody the word
“prey”.  Not one damn thing!