Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (38 page)

“There you are, sweetheart!” Grayson yells from all the way across the dining room. He and the girls are bringing out trays of sandwiches for lunch. I hang my coat up and grab the DVD before I join them.

“Smells delicious in here.” I smile and walk into Grayson’s outstretched arms.

“I missed you, sweetheart. You were gone forever.” He hugs me tightly.

“I know. Apparently, I’ve been leading a double life.” I rest my head on him. “Grayson, I need to tell you everything we talked about, and—”

“Shh,” he cuts me off. “We have two days left, sweetheart. I don’t want to hear anything except that you love me.” He chucks my chin so I look up into his eyes.
Speaking of chocolatey things…

“Two days?” I ask.

“‘Til Christmas, darling. I don’t want anything to spoil it! Now ... what do we have here?” Grayson kisses me and takes the DVD.

“It’s my Christmas present from Ray. I don’t know what’s on it.” I sigh.

“Well, let us grab our lunch and we’ll go watch it in your office together.” He releases me, but grabs my hand. We pick up plates off the buffet and fill them. I’m starving—I didn’t eat any breakfast! A flicker of panic comes over me. What if this is a sex tape? Mental head slap! Ray wouldn’t do that. It’s not that. “Ready, love?” He throws another cookie on my very full plate and winks. “Just in case,” he says. I pat my belly and smile at him. He puts his arm out for me to hold. I take it and lean my head on it as we walk.

“Hey, babe, I didn’t see any security on the way back from the barn.” I can’t believe I’m just processing this information now. I really do have pregnancy brain!

“They were there, Becca, I can assure you.” Grayson opens the French doors to my office and lets me in first. “Okay, let us see what we have here, Mr. McNeil.” He opens the DVD case. “‘The Story of Us’? That’s a lovely title,” he says with his British frown. He puts it in the computer and lets me sit in my chair, pulling Claudia’s chair up next to me.

“Grayson.” I look over at him. “I love you, baby.” I lean over and kiss him.

“I will always love you, sweetheart.” He smiles. He nods toward the monitor. I press play and notice the time of the DVD is one hour and fifteen minutes. The screen is black, then I hear “The Scientist” by Coldplay.

Becca and Ray: The Story of Us
appears in white letters. Then a picture of Ray and I in profile, laughing, comes up on the screen. This must be the one from his mom’s scrapbook.

2007 – 2008
(white letters)

Fall Festival – Ray kissing my cheek

Fall Festival – the girls standing in front of us

Halloween Party – Ray and I dressed like Beauty and the Beast

Halloween Party – Morgan/Snow White, Annie/Cinderella, Me/Belle, Ray/Beast

Me dumping leaves on Ray’s head

Me over Ray’s shoulder

Ray dumping me in a huge pile of leaves

Us laughing in the leaves

Ray holding my face

Ray holding my face, kissing me

Thanksgiving – Ray and I in Pilgrim hats

Thanksgiving – The girls dressed as Indians with us behind them

Thanksgiving – Us asleep on the couch

December – Ray hanging lights on the inn with me supervising ... probably annoyingly

December – us on Ray’s porch, laughing with mugs in our hands

December – Ray leaning into me

December – Ray’s index finger hooking under my chin

December – Ray kissing me

December – We’re hugging, and Ray’s kissing my hair

Christmas – Us sitting on the floor, with me between his legs leaning back as I open a CD

Christmas – We’re laughing when it’s unwrapped

Christmas – We’re laughing against each other’s lips

Christmas – I’m holding the CD toward the camera. It’s Vanilla Ice.

I let a giggle escape, then look at Grayson nervously. He forces a gentle smile.

“It’s Christmas, sweetheart. I promise to not act like a jealous bastard, all right?”

I press pause.

“Who are you and what have you done with my Grayson?” I palm his face and softly peck at his lips.

“I just ... I want to have a happy Christmas, sweetheart. I don’t want to ruin it with an argument over your past, which you can barely remember. It’s not fair to either one of us, love.”

Whenever Grayson is thinking carefully about what he’s saying, he frowns on the annunciation of a lot of the words. Very British ... very lovely.

“You sound and look extra British, baby—you know what that does to me.” I bite my smile back. Grayson does the most exaggerated frown, making me laugh. God, I love him so much. He looks vulnerable right now ... not the confident, selfish, arrogant, overprotective man I’m used to. “Grayson, I don’t want to watch this now. I want to spend time with you and focus on our Christmas preparations.” Of course, I neglect to mention that it is quite uncomfortable to watch a memory reel of the past five years of my life, looking very much in love with the man I thought was just my best friend, with my fiancé.

“No, sweetheart. I want you to watch it now and get it over with so that I may have your full attention after. Becca, why don’t I go and see what the girls are up to? You stay and watch. Now that I know what this is, I don’t need to stay here and make you feel uncomfortable. I only have one question, though.” He takes the last bite of his sandwich.

“What’s that?” I thumb the mayo away from the corner of his mouth. He grabs my hand gently and sucks the mayo off of my thumb. “Oh, Mr. James.” I shake my head.

“Something to think about, aye, Ms. Campbell?” He lets a small smile creep in ... his seductive smile.

“Indeed.” I lean in for a kiss.

“Mmm. So, who took all of these pictures? It’s quite stalkerish! I may have to hire them.” He laughs lightly.

“Oh, that would be, as the girls like to call her, Nanarazzi, Ray’s mother, Elise. I’m sure it will get worse. That woman is dangerous with a camera in her hand! Sneaky little thing.” I laugh, then feel a blanket of sadness come over me. I can’t imagine what Ray’s mom is thinking of me. It breaks my heart. She’s such an important person in my life. The idea of losing her kills me.

“Sad, sweetheart?” He rubs my back.

“I love his mom. What she must think of me?”

“Stop, sweetheart.” He thumbs away the tears from the corners of my eyes. “You did nothing intentional.” I hug him. “All right then, get back to it, sweetheart. I love you.” He kisses me.

“Love you, baby.” I squeeze him to me. He gets up and heads out. I press play.

“Come Home” by One Republic starts playing. More pictures of that Christmas pop up.

Opening presents with the girls

Ray and I relaxing on the couch

All four of us dressed for church

Ray and I walking into church hand in hand

It’s like I’m watching somebody else’s life.

Horseback riding in January together

Dancing at the winter festival

Ray and I doing one of our many karaoke performances

We Were MAINE for Each Other – white letters

Our first trip to Maine for Easter starts with “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train.

We look so sweet, asleep on the couch wrapped in each other’s arms

We’re walking barefoot down the beach—our khakis rolled up at the bottom—and he has his arms around me as the wind whips our hair

Ray’s giving me a piggyback ride down the beach

We’re kissing on the beach

We’re chasing the girls in the yard

Ray and I asleep on the hammock (black and white)

Ray wakes up and smiles at his mother

Ray watches me sleep

He touches my face

I open my eyes and smile up at him

We kiss

We snuggle

I wave at his mom

Easter-egg hunt with the girls

Ray has Morgan on his shoulders to get an egg off a high tree branch

Family-style portrait of us in our Easter best

The video continues on showcasing pictures like this to a great soundtrack. He has “Photographs and Memories” by Jason Reeves, “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane, “Fall For You” by Secondhand Serenade, “When You’re Gone” by Avril Lavigne, “Dreaming with a Broken Heart” by John Mayer, “The Perfect Boy” by The Cure, “On Bended Knee” by Boyz II Men, “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum, “Warning Sign” by Coldplay, “From Where You Are” by Lifehouse, “I’m Gonna Be (500 miles)” by The Proclaimers, “Brighter than Sunshine” by Aqualung, and “Perfect Two” by Auburn.

Sometimes We Don’t See Eye to Eye
(white letters)

“Never Say Never” by The Fray comes on.

I’m yelling at Ray on the patch of grass right off his parents’ porch, his arms stretched out wide

He’s angry

I’m crying and talking through my teeth

Ray walks toward me

He grabs my face gently

I push his hands away

My face is turned

Ray looks sincere

He tries to turn my face.

He’s trying to make me laugh

Ray goes on his knees, his hands clasped, begging me in an exaggerated manner

I’m finally laughing

Ray hugs my lower body to him

He up at me with his boyish grin

Ray stands up and looks down into my eyes

He palms my face

We kiss

We hold each other

We walk arm and arm back to the house

“What were we arguing about?” I ask out loud.

I have no idea what we were arguing about that day either! (appears in white)

I can’t help but laugh.

“Fix You” by Coldplay finishes out our memories. The screen goes black for a moment. “Every Breath You Take” by The Police plays as a message pops up.

Becs,

As you can see, you are the love of my life. You and our girls are my life. I wouldn’t trade a single one of these moments for anything. I’m begging you, baby, to acknowledge the happiness we bring to each other, how important “we” are and how much we truly love each other. This is our life in pictures ... the good and the bad. I can’t promise to never make you mad or upset you, but I can promise to love you like hell, babe. You are my forever ... let me be yours.

So deeply in love with you,

Ray

One last picture appears of Ray and me. He’s hugging me from behind, and we’re looking at each other, laughing. I sit back and, for the second time in two days, have a good cry over one Mr. Ray McNeil.

A knock on the door grabs my attention. Melissa smiles as she lets herself in.

“Hi,” I murmur as I wipe my eyes.

“Hi.” She winces.

“Please make me laugh about something ... anything!” I beg her.

“I have just the thing! Claudia dropped this off earlier.” She hands me an album.

“Oh my God, I almost forgot about this!” I clap my hands excitedly. This is one of Grayson’s Christmas presents. I have to give it to him alone, because it’s an inside joke. I open it up and go into complete hysterics, and my tears turn to ones from laughter. “Did you get the other gift for me?” I ask.

“Yes, it’s in my room.” She glances at the book and giggles, but her expression says she’s confused.

“It’s a long story.” I close it and grab her arm. “Let’s go. I want to wrap these.”

“Where are you going, love?” Grayson asks as we head upstairs.

“To finish wrapping gifts. I’ll be down in twenty minutes, babe.” We run up. Melissa lets me into her room, which now kind of looks like her and Ryan’s room.

“So, your first Christmas ... how are things?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Um.” She blushes. “Really, really good.” Her smile is huge. “Uh, so, here.” She hands me the bag.

“Do you have scissors and wrapping paper?” I pull the item out of the bag and crack up.

“You guys are fucking weird! That’s all I have to say.” She shakes her head as she hands me the supplies. I start cutting like a madwoman. Melissa stares at me with her mouth open. “Those were a hundred and fifty dollars, Becca!”

“Yeah, too bad they cost so much. Oh well.” I carry on.

“So, how were things with Ray this morning? If you don’t mind me asking.”

I don’t mind. Melissa has been here since the get-go, and she’s become a very close friend. I should talk to her about her next assignment, though. Not everyone will be as laid-back as I am. She’s young and she showcases that in her unprofessionalism. If I were anyone else, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Grayson, of course, tries to fire her every other week, but she’s a very qualified and able person. I’m going to miss her when the time comes.

“Nope, it’s okay. Um, it was difficult. Ray is a wonderful man and I’ve dragged him through the mud, basically, for five years. I didn’t realize that my PTSD was so severe it was blocking out my memories with Ray ... well, all of the intimate ones. Ray just basically had to tell me about the past five years of my life with him.” I apply the last piece of tape to the album’s wrapping.

“Becca, he date-raped you! Aren’t you going to press charges?”

I wince at her bluntness.

“No,” I simply say.

“But he
raped
you!” she snaps.

“Melissa, if it were any other person on the planet, I would press charges. It’s different, and it’s complicated.” I try to keep my patience. I know she’s coming from a place of friendship and concern.

“It’s
rape
and he should pay for it!” she yells.

“He has paid for it, Melissa! You have no idea! You don’t know the entire story, so I suggest you shut your damn mouth before you get fired again ... by
me
this time!” I yell back.

“Then fire me! I can’t believe I looked up to you! You’re basically saying it’s okay because this guy had a crush on you for a few years? What are you teaching your daughter?” Her chin quivers. I can see and understand her frustration.