Guilty Pleasure (6 page)

“I thought it was time
to start something new… I’d hoped with you.” She reached for his hand. He let
her take it in hers, his fingers wooden in her grasp.

“But then… today things
got complicated, out of control. I’ve never stopped loving David, even though
he stopped loving me a long time ago. Today was… pent up emotion, release,
anger… poor judgment. Mostly anger and poor judgment.” She shrugged. “I can’t
say I’m perfect, Jason. Today was a mistake… David called it the ‘last fuck for
the road’. Maybe he was right.”

Jason was still silent,
watching her. She thought some of the pain had left his eyes, but she knew
she’d damaged the fragile relationship they had, maybe beyond all repair.

“I am sorry, Jason. It…
things just got away from me. I lost control.”

“But you did sign the
papers?” Jason’s voice was a monotone, devoid of any emotion.

“Yes. I did.” She still
watched his face, looking for any sign, a glimmer of hope that he still might
stay.

He was quiet a long
time. She finally felt him squeeze her hand.

“I told you I love
Sarah… I still do.” There was another beat of silence.

“Part of me wanted to
go see her today, for some reason, to see how she was, I guess. It was the
first time I’d thought of her in weeks. There was an ache inside that I thought
was me missing her. Here, with you….” He looked around the room, as if taking
it in for the first… or the last… time. “I’d forgotten about her, how much she
meant to me. Forgotten about the life we’d tried to build together.”

“But I didn’t… I came
home… came here… to you. I wanted to tell you, confess, I think… and then I
find you’ve been with your ex-husband… or husband… or whoever he is.” His eyes
were on hers. “I told you I loved you, Ann. Last night… in this bed.” He
reached out, his fingers gentle on her cheek. Unconsciously she leaned against
his hand, the callouses on his palm rough against her skin.

“Jason, I love you
too.” Tears spilled down her cheek. He brushed them away.

“What do we have here,
Ann? Do we have enough to keep this going? My heart can’t take much more. What
do we do?”

Jason stood, pulling
her up to him, wrapping her in his arms. She rested her head on his chest,
listening to the steady beat of his heart.

“What do we do?” He
repeated his question.

“We do the best we can,
I guess.” She felt tears running down her cheeks.

“Do you still want to
be married to David? Do you still love him?”

There was a hesitation
in his voice, as if he were afraid of the answer, as if he were holding his
breath.

She looked up at him, offering
a smile through her tears.

“No, I don’t want to be
married to him. I don’t love him anymore. I think I was in love with the idea
of David…but it’s over. In my heart and now officially.”

Jason ran his fingers
over her face, tipping her chin up. His eyes were serious as he looked down at
her.

“Okay. Let’s start with
that then.”

“Jason...what about
Sarah?”

He shook his head. “I
love you, Ann. Not Sarah. I knew that… like you said, it was the idea I was in
love with, not the person.”

He leaned down, his
lips soft, tentative on hers, asking a question. She returned his kiss.

“We do the best we can…
it’s all we can do.”

Jason’s kiss
intensified and Ann responded, wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt his
hands moving over her body, pulling aside her torn blouse, gently cupping her
breasts. There was brief hesitation in his touch, his hands unsteady. He pulled
away, his eyes dark with pain.

“Jason….” Ann ran her
fingers over his face. “It’s going to be okay. Our past is our past, both David
and Sarah. We have now… and the future… together. We just need to remember what
works between us.”

Ann pulled Jason toward
the bed, her hands undoing the buttons on his shirt, pulling it down his arms
and discarding it on the floor. She could feel his hands tugging at her jeans,
pulling them down her legs, and then the pressure of his erect cock pressing
against her body. Knowing how much he wanted her sent a dizzying wave of
arousal through her.

Jason lowered her onto
the bed, looking down at her, the pain and confusion on his face slowly
replaced by desire and arousal. Biting her lip, she watched as he pulled down
his jeans, his cock rising up from the apex of his thighs, hard and long.

“Is this what you want?
Is this what works for you?” Jason was watching her intently, his voice low,
seductive. There was a hint of the Jason she knew and loved, the man who wanted
her to watch him… watch them, the man who seemed to take great pleasure in
teasing her.

Ann nodded, trying hard
to meet his gaze. But her eyes kept straying down to his cock, the visible sign
of his arousal. The thought of almost losing him made it all the more exciting,
knowing she made him this hard, that he wanted her that much.

“Say the words, Ann.
What do you want?” His lips curled into a teasing grin. She smiled up at him,
knowing she was blushing, resisting the urge to close her eyes.

“I want you, Jason. I
want that…” She pointed, knowing he’d make her say the words.

To her surprise, Jason
climbed up on the bed, settling himself between her legs, claiming that space
as his own. He leaned down, kissing her hard.

“Just this once, I’ll
let you get away with not saying all the words. Just this once, but no more.
After this….”

He claimed her mouth
again, and there were no more words between them, only the sounds of their lovemaking,
the cries and moans, as Jason slid himself into her, driving them both toward
their release.

When she came, when her
orgasm finally broke, it was with a force that took her breath away. Jason held
her as she shook beneath him, arching and twisting. She could feel him, every
inch, every contour, as he thrust into her, as her body responded to him.

She felt her body
pulling him further into her, and then he was coming with her, his head back,
his cock spearing her to the very core, filling her, his seed mixing with her
own wetness.

Jason held her face in
his hands, his eyes searching hers, his lips parted.

“Oh, God, Ann. I love
you.” He kissed her briefly, pulling away with a gasp as another shudder
wracked his body, his hips flexing forward one last time, before burying his
face in her neck.

The tension slowly left
his body and he collapsed beside Ann, pulling her to him. He held for a long
time as their bodies relaxed, curling around each other. Eventually, with a
contented sigh, he lifted his head, meeting her eyes.

“I love you, Ann.”

“I love you too,
Jason.” She rested her head against his chest, her hand over his heart, feeling
the steady beat with her fingers.

“And no more secrets,
no more husbands lurking in the shadows. No more trips to see old girlfriends.
From now on, it’s just you, me and several hundred sheep.”

Ann laughed. “I think
that sounds just about right.”