Hadrian's Lover (5 page)

Earlier this week, we had quite the heated debate over the topic for tonight’s
Salve!
In all honesty, I was at first uncomfortable about discussing such an issue so openly on air. I suggested this topic be best left to the education system to deal with. Hadrian’s Sex Education Curriculum is one of the finest worldwide. However, my producer pointed out, quite correctly, that this topic is not something meant only for our children. Parents, too, need some coaching—not in terms of “how to”; most of us can figure that out quite nicely on our own—but rather in terms of how to talk to our children about this issue. So today’s topic is masturbation and what to do if you accidentally walk in on your child—doing—ahem—pleasuring him—or herself privately.

Often when a parent accidently walks in on his or her child masturbating, the moment becomes one filled with consternation and embarrassment for both parties. What is really important in this situation is not to allow our initial emotional reaction to take precedence. Allowing discomfiture and disquiet to dictate the now critical discussion, or worse yet, to allow these emotions to avoid the issue all together, is not instrumental in helping your child develop a healthy attitude toward his or her body and the act of masturbation. Clearly this is an act everyone has committed once or twice, perhaps many times over. The old religious myth fanatics used to scare their sons’ hands away from their penises. “You’ll go blind” is, as my producer succinctly put it, “hooey.” Therefore, the question begging to be asked is: Why do some parents still react badly upon the discovery of their child’s masturbatory acts? When we respond unfavorably to such a natural instinct, we are perpetuating the folly that masturbating is sinful. Again, to quote my producer, “That very notion is absurd.” As the parents of Hadrian’s children, we need to remind ourselves that masturbation does not hurt
anyone! On the other hand, it is actually beneficial to both body and spirit. Masturbation is a great stress reliever, and the release of sexual tension is something every single human body demands.

In fact, masturbation is a great sexual alternative for our youth. The startling rate at which our teens become sexually active suggests the need for proactive measures. What better pro-active measure than masturbation? It allows your son or daughter to release built-up sexual tension without sexual bonding and forming of intense relationships prior to being emotionally ready. For, as we all know, the body is often ready for sexual release long before the average person is emotionally ready for a serious relationship.

Still, it is important that your child understand how masturbation, colloquially referred to as “petting the kitty” or “lengthening the leather,” is a very private act and not one to be shared with others—and no doubt, many a parent has been embarrassed by the accidental discovery of his or her child’s private affairs. But it is critical you step past these uncomfortable feelings—wait out enough time to allow the embarrassment to abate, and then discuss the issue with your teen. This is critical. Children of Hadrian should never feel wrong for committing such a natural, useful act. Murad Nasser, Hadrian’s top medical practitioner, recommends that we orgasm at least once a day, even if one does not have a sexual partner. Masturbation, he says, is a necessary act, possibly even vital to maintaining good physical and emotional health.

In fact, parents, don’t wait for that accidental moment; be pro-active. Sit your son or daughter down today and hold a frank discussion about this matter. Let your child know that it is okay to masturbate—just remember, it is a very private act that should never be expressed in public. As well as ensuring your child understands and accepts masturbation as a natural act, make sure he or she knows masturbation is something best done alone.

Vale!

Todd’s room is actually a walk-in linen closet. Because his and Todd’s bungalow has only one bedroom, Papa Mike removed all the shelves in the closet and restructured the middle shelf as a bed with dresser drawers underneath. The shelf is long enough and wide enough for one single mattress. Screwed into the wall above the head of Todd’s bed is a small reading lamp so Todd has some light. The door to Todd’s room is the original folding door that came with the linen closet. About two feet are between the closet door and the bed shelf for Todd to move around in. More often than not, he leaves the folding door open to give the illusion of more space, but today, he has the door closed.

Currently, Todd is half-lying, half-sitting up on his bed, with his upper back and neck pressed against the wall. Images of Crystal Albright (his and Frank’s other best friend and fellow sport fanatic) moving in slow motion waft through Todd’s brain. He envisions her musky cinnamon scent and the way she looks in her tight green dress. The fingers of his one hand are actually caressing the smooth lacquered pages of a very old
Hustler
magazine, circa 2010. Open to the pullout image, the woman Todd pretends is real looks alarmingly like Crystal. Both women are tall, thin yet muscular, have short dark hair, stunning brown eyes,
and
big breasts.

Todd found the magazine in the recesses of Papa Mike’s closet. There a small box lay hidden, and curiosity, though deadly to the cat, is fodder to Todd’s desire. He doesn’t even question what contraband porn is doing hidden inside his papa’s closet. He simply found the match to ignite his wakening desires. Without being self-conscious, Todd returns with the magazine to his small bedroom.

Down the hall, Papa Mike is opening the door.

“Hey, Papa Mike, is Todd in?” Frank asks as he enters.

“Yeah. Was he expecting you?”

“No. I’m just hoping we can talk.”

“What’s wrong? You look distressed.”

“I just broke up with Anthony.”

“Break-ups,” Papa Mike replies conciliatorily, “are the worst at your age.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, come on in then. He’s in his room.” Gesturing, Mike adds, “Just head on down.”

It only takes a moment for Frank to walk to Todd’s room, open his door, and walk in on him in the act. Giddy at the sight, Frank blurts out, “Hadrian’s Lover, Todd! Are you jerking off?”

Todd gasps, quickly rolling over to face the wall, his actions immediately abandoned. Suddenly, all his heat is spent, and his sun collapsing pulls Todd’s psyche deep inside its black hole. One thought alone resonates:
Thank Hadrian, my pants aren’t down
. Fortunately, Todd did not bother removing his pants so he is not revealing an exposed buttock to his companion. Panic stricken, a second thought suddenly emerges:
What if he finds out?
Shaking, Todd tries desperately to hide the magazine clutched in his left hand.

Frank quickly slides the door shut behind him, hoping Todd’s Papa Mike didn’t hear his outburst. There is just enough room for Frank to stand in front of Todd’s shelf. “Oh, man,” he whispers. “That is the sexiest thing I have ever seen.”

Hoarse, Todd blurts out, “Go away, Frank.”

“No way.” Frank sits down beside Todd. Tickling his hand up Todd’s spine, slithering it over his shoulder, Frank’s hand begins to make its way back down Todd’s chest. Todd curdles, contorting into the fetal position, ironically bringing Frank’s hand closer to its mark.

“Please, Frank, don’t.”

“Just go with it, baby.” That is when Frank feels the magazine clutched in Todd’s hand. “Are you using porn?” Giggling. “I love it!” He clasps the magazine and gives it a gentle tug. Todd’s grip tightens. “Come on; let me see, too.”

“Please.” Todd is now in tears. “Go away.”

Becoming suspicious, Frank tugs harder at the magazine. “Why?”

“Just let go.”

“Give me the magazine.”

“No.”

“Give it over!” Frank practically yells as he pulls the contraband free of Todd’s grip. Standing up, he stares at the magazine in horror. “What the fuck is this?” When Todd fails to answer beyond a whimper, Frank screams, “What the fuck is this?” Rolling the
Hustler
tight in his grip, he begins to beat Todd with it. “
Strai
porn? You’re using
strai
porn?” Todd cringes under each blow.

Before Frank can get too carried away, Papa Mike slides open the door. “What in Hadrian’s name is going on in here?”

“Todd was whacking off when I walked in.” Frank is so incensed his voice makes even the simple act of masturbation a sin.

“Every man, woman, and child masturbates, Frank!” Although embarrassed for Todd being caught in the act, Mike would never chastise him for it.

Frank swirls around to throw the trash rag in Papa Mike’s face. “He was using this!”

It takes a moment for Papa Mike to regain his balance and senses. His inspection of the magazine is accompanied with a moment of silence, punctuated by Todd’s truncated sobbing. Knowing his are the only sounds being made, Todd tries desperately, even more so unsuccessfully, to control himself. Finally, Papa Mike asks, “Where did you get this, son?” Todd can’t answer. His voice is currently being choked by shame. Looking at his son’s friend, Mike orders him, “Do not tell
anyone
about this.”

“What are you going to do?” Frank demands.

“I will deal with this.” Papa Mike is curt, his voice suggesting Frank leave immediately.

“How?” Not even waiting for a response, Frank barges on, “Where would he get something like this?”

“From my closet.”

“
Your
closet?” Incredulity doesn’t even come close to describing Frank’s emotions at this moment.

“Yes, my closet,” Mike repeats with no offer of an apology. Looking toward Todd, Papa Mike nods knowingly.

“What the fuck is something like that doing in
your
closet?” Frank is nothing if not persistent.

“I used to sell contraband.” Still no apology; just a blunt declaration.
Incensed, Mike states, “How the fuck do you think I got his father through Uni? On a mechanic’s pay?”

Flabbergasted, Frank asks, “But this? Who would buy—”

“Yes, Frank, there is a black market in
strai
porn, and the older it is, the more costly. Bound paper magazines like this,” he says, shaking his head in regret, “had I remembered I still had it, might have brought in a thousand credits or more. Damn, I wish I had found it first. I could have bought Todd new b-ball shoes and decent clothes for school.”
Maybe even some whiskey and cigarettes,
he ruminates. Pointing its remains at Frank, he says, “Now that you’ve ruined it, I doubt I could score a credit for it.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Frank can’t believe his ears.

“What? You think Todd’s the only kid in Hadrian who has ever masturbated to
strai
porn? Shit, I stroked the snake a few times to this myself.” Mike doesn’t even pause in his lie. He has spent most of his adult life helping a
strai
very close to him hide. He knows exactly what to say and do. This sort of posturing has become second nature to him, even if it has been a while. “And, why not? Who in Hadrian’s name does it hurt? It’s a great way to get rid of some of that straight tension.” Eyeing Frank circumspectly, he adds, “But you wouldn’t know about that, would you?” Mike shakes his head in disgust. “Well, guess what, Frank? Not every one of us is a six on the Kinsey scale. Some of us actually have some battling to do!” Looking back at his son, he adds, “Todd may be a five or a four; hell, he may even be a three or a two. I don’t care. Do you?” Gesturing with the magazine toward the front door, Mike shames Frank into looking down at his shoes, but Frank still refuses to take the hint and leave.

Frank wants to say,
Yes, it does matter
, but he knows the answer is no. “No, sir. No, I don’t care.”

“I’m working with him.” Papa Mike is blunt and still motioning with the magazine toward the front door. “That’s all you need to know.”

“Can you,” asks Frank, feebly pointing to the now decimated magazine, “get rid of this?” Searching for the right words, anything to justify his frustration, he states, “It’s—it might be too much temptation for him.”

“Yes.—And, I will go through my closet to see if I have any more.—And, if I do, I will throw it all out. Happy? Satisfied?” Once again, Mike gestures as if to say,
Will you now get the fuck out?

“Thank you.” Frank begins to cross in front of Papa Mike.

Stopping Frank suddenly, Mike demands, “And you? What do you plan to do? Expose him?”

Todd cringes in fear. Frank looks down on his friend. Feelings of compassion overwhelm him. “No, sir.”

“Thank you.” Frank turns and goes down the hall.

Waiting until he is sure Frank has left the house, Papa Mike finally sits on the bed beside Todd.
Fuck
, he mutters to himself,
not this again!
“I’m sorry, son. I should have told you Frank was here.”

“P-Papa, am I straight?”

Breathing deeply before sighing, Mike responds, “I don’t know. Most of us have something straight in us.” Glancing down at the magazine, he adds, “That’s why I was able to make so many credits selling these damn things.”
I should get back into it
, he considers.
We’re so fucking broke
. It was too dangerous, though, and Mike no longer wants to risk his life in that racket. Turning his mind back to Todd, he rubs a hand over his forehead. “But we all have that latent homosexual in us, too.”

“Do we?”

“Yes. Most of us—just—” Shaking his head, he suddenly turns his explanation into a command. “Just never act on those straight tendencies.”

“Yes, sir—I mean, no, sir—I won’t.”

“Good boy.” Getting up to leave, Mike pauses to look down at his late husband’s son. “Just remember,” he adds (something used to tell Will) “you don’t have to do anything until you’re ready.”
Will you ever be ready?
He wonders.
Will never was.

Todd sniffles, “Thanks, Papa.”

“You
okay
?” Not bothering to pause, he adds, “’Cause I gotta go. I got a date.”

Todd doesn’t answer. Papa Mike has already left the room. Still holding himself, Todd notices how his penis has shrunk inside his hand like a turtle.