Hadrian's Wall (31 page)

A crazy impulse made me jump into the shower
stall. I stood beneath the spray, surrounded by steam, allowing the
hot water to relax the muscles in my neck and shoulders. With a
sigh of relief, I began lathering myself vigorously. I rinsed and
turned off the faucet. With another sigh, I opened the stall door,
confronting the subtle current of cold air coming from the other
room.

I’d left the bathroom door
ajar which gave me a glimpse of my bed immersed in shadows, the
only lighted coming from the TV screen. I’d left the television on,
but muted the sound, although I didn’t know what TV show was
on.

I wrapped the towel around my body and
walked toward the bed, feeling the thick carpet caressing the soles
of my feet. I let the towel fall to my side. A sudden breeze passed
by, causing me to shiver. The window was closed, so why did I have
goose bumps? I dressed clumsily, trying to rush and I combed my
hair with my fingers. When I left the room, I still had the feeling
that someone was watching me.

* * *

Breathing deeply sometimes
helped me to calm myself. I walked to the elevator and pressed the
call button. I casually glanced back towards my room on other side
of the hallway and t
hen I froze.
Adrian Cahill was leaning against my door,
silently watching me.

My throat constricted,
though a strangled moan managed to escaped my lips. I wasn’t
prepared to face him. I didn’t want to be alone with him.
Liar! You wanted to see him. That’s why you’re
going down to the cafeteria—because you want to meet him, to be
with him
... But I was afraid. I didn’t
know what I feared more—the insanity or the vibrations emanating
from both of us.

Two things happen at same
time: Adrian walked toward me and the elevator doors opened.
I realized that could get into the elevator
before he could reach me, so
I
did
. I boarded and quickly pressed the
button of ground floor, but as if by magic, he was beside me,
holding the doors with one hand.
Impossible!

He entered without saying
anything, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. When the elevator was
nearly over, he finally asked, “Can’t sleep?”

“Yes,” I whispered.
“Actually, I’m going to the cafeteria.”

“Why didn’t you call room
service?”

Surprised, I raised my eyes
at him. “I didn’t know that service was available in hospitals. I
thought it was only at luxury hotels.”

He laughed, probably realizing that I was on
the defensive.

“Still thirsty?”

I shuddered
again...
How did he know?
I began to doubt that everything happening around
me had been part of my hallucinations. But if I accept what my mind
rejects, then I would have to consider the fact that Adrian Cahill
did not belong to our world.
Don’t be
silly, girl. Charity probably told him because she tells her cousin
everything
.

“Yes, I’m still thirsty,” I
finally replied.

The doors opened and he
gestured for me to go first. I wondered if he’d noticed that I was
trembling when I stepped in front of him.

We walked side by side with him holding my
arm. The closeness between us was disturbing, as disturbing as his
cold hand lightly touching my skin, but he seemed not to care about
the subtle electric current running between us. I think he was
actually enjoying my discomfort as we entered the cafeteria.

I was just thinking that a
few hours ago, I’d seen Adrian here, laughing and having fun with
his friends
. Sadness welled up inside of
me. I sat down, determined to analyze with scientific rigor the
asymmetric design of the floor and not think about it.

Adrian sighed. Suddenly I
felt his hand cupping my chin. Apparently, he wasn’t going to let
me off the hook so easily.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Coke is fine.”

He grimaced. “At this hour? If your problem
is inability to sleep, warm milk is more appropriate.”

Unperturbed, I shrugged. Adrian went to the
counter and made a request to the attendant. While he waited, I
watched his back. Without a lab coat, I was able to see his
gorgeous body. It was impossible not to notice, despite the baggy
scrubs that he was wearing. I think I could lose my mind just
imagining the two of us... I shook my head, trying to shoo away the
sensuous visions that flowed through my mind.

He accepted two cups from
the attendant, set them on a tray, and returned to our table. Black
coffee for him and milk warm for me.
Great!
I took the sugar bowl, then
the spoon, and began to sweeten my drink.

He stared at me with a
concerned look. I avoided his gaze for some time because I knew
we’d have to talk about sensitive topics and I was trying to delay
the inevitable. On the other hand, the job offer
was spinning
in my head.
Did it mean that I hadn’t yet digested Adrian
Senior’s offer.

“Did you tell your father about my
drawings?”

He leaned back in his
chair, stretched his legs and propped his feet on the seat of
another chair. His attitude was totally relaxed. He tapped his
white tennis shoes lightly on the back of the plastic chair as if
imitating the rhythm of an imaginary song. His indolent eyes were
fixed on me. He’d taken off his glasses for the second time.
Because of the absence of strong light, it was easier for me to
view his fiery green irises.

“Actually...yes.”

He could be obtuse when wanted. It was
visible in his face that he knew exactly what I was getting, but he
had no pretense to make things easy for me.

“Do you not think it was carelessness on
your part?”

He raised an eyebrow questioningly and I
explained. “You introduced me to him as the ideal person to perform
a task that obviously requires someone with professional
knowledge.”

He shook his head, tightening his lips.

“It’s true.”

I gritted my teeth.

“What for?”

An uncomfortable silence settled upon us.
Why did the way he stared at me make me feel like a silly, five
year-old girl? My face was burning with embarrassment.

All the while, he stayed like a
statue...immobile...just watching me. Suddenly, he threw back his
head and gave a short laugh, but there was no humor in the laughter
or in his eyes. With a sigh, he settled his gaze upon me.

“This is ridiculous!” His cold voice cut the
air like scythe through wheat. “By any chance, do you have
something against me, Melissa? Any reason to dislike me?”

I blinked, confused.

“No, I...”

“Yes, you. Because I recognize that feeling
in you by the way you look at me. You are always on guard with me.”
He sat back, removed his feet from the chair seat, bent his knees
and leaned toward me, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands
crossed under his chin.

“I don’t...” I took a
breath. What could I say to him? Say that this paranoia, if it was
paranoia, made me believe that my life was being conducted without
my control? Say that people considered me worthy of help that I
didn’t think I deserved?
The truth is you
don’t want to believe that you deserve it as much as you don’t want
to have any hope about Adrian’s goodwill
.

Imagine yourself as a
burden that no one really wants. These feelings were very sad...not
being able to trust others, having the impression that people
support you for some
moral
obligation
but not know what’s behind the
hand extended to you.

Instead of my talking about my obvious
inferiority complex (the poor, rejected orphan), I decided it was
more prudent to shut my mouth and not make an idiot of myself.

Actually, I was afraid to
reveal how much he affected me. He was not for me. I feel unworthy
myself, unable even to play the role of casual meeting—someone he
talks to in the bank line and then forgets without looking
back.
H
e would
never be interested in a girl like me... and his
absurd
will to
play
my savior role
was killing me. I didn’t want his pity. I wanted...what? For
him to see me as a woman? A sensual woman?
Wake up girl! You’ve been watching a lot of movies. You are
not Julia Roberts, for Christ’s sake!

In view of my silence, he took the
initiative to speak.

“Why didn’t you join us
when you came into the cafeteria earlier?”

The sudden change of subject took the wind
out of my sails for a moment.

“I, uh, I didn’t want to
disturb you guys.”

He rested his chin on his fist.

“Why do you think you’d be
disturbing us? You could have been stayed with us...”

I lowered my head to hide my disbelief
behind my hair, but it would have been ridiculous to talk with my
own feet, so I made a great effort to look into his eyes when I
replied.

“I don’t belong to your
social group. It would have been pretentious of me if I’d joined in
uninvited.”

“Ridiculous,” he said, shaking his head, a
look of disgust on his face.

I pushed my chair away from the table.
Adrian was aware of my reaction because his jaw tightened. Adrian
was aware of my reaction because his jaw tightened. He draped his
arm over the back of his chair.

“You’re not being coherent,
you know?”

He wasn’t the Adrian I
knew. So...
incisive—
or maybe I had the ability to destroy the patience of a
saint. I suddenly remembered Charity’s comment,
‘
That’s a Lamborghini Reventon-Roadster.
It means that AC doesn’t have patience for subtleties, today. He
wants action
.’

“Do you really think we are
so arrogant?” He gestured with his free hand. That’s when I noticed
he was wearing a square ring on the little finger of his right
hand. It had a strange symbol in the center, one I’d never seen
before. It almost distracted me.

No, I don’t think he’s
arrogant in a
bad
way, but h
ow do I explain what I
feel without humiliating myself, causing more
misunderstandings?

“Not at all. I’m very shy.
I don’t know how to interact with people with the same ease as the
most of you do.” I opted for a half-truth.

Adrian looked at me very seriously and then
gave me a big smile.

“
Mmmm... So I have to take care of your shyness.”

I opened my eyes.

“And how do you plan to do
that?” That was the kind of question that a sophisticated woman
would have asked, but I didn’t realize it until later. I was
silently praying that he didn’t interpret it as a provocation...or
an invitation.

His eyes narrowed slightly, while he
analyzed me, but his smiled remained. He seemed to be pondering
about the intention behind the question.

“I’ll think of something,”
he answered vaguely while a devilish smile tugged at the corners of
his mouth.

I assumed that he hadn’t
decided if my unfortunate question was flirting or just
curiosity.
This
compelled me to make things
clearer.
Wasn’t there a saying about
“the best defense is a good offense” and in his case, in
particular, something told me that the best offense is
sincerity.

“Look, I’m not trying to
play games with you. Actually, I don’t know how to deal with you,
Adrian. I feel intimidated by you. I believe that, in most cases, I
cannot understand what kind of question you are asking me, much
less what kind of response I am to give you.”

The corners of his lips lifted a little
more, giving me the impression that he appreciated my confused
sincerity. So, I was sure that Adrian liked direct and open
conversations.

“You feel intimidated
because you don’t know how to deal with...” he gesticulated,
searching for the right words... “this attraction between us, do
you?”

Jeez!
He also decided to be direct—too direct for my taste. My face
must have been purple with embarrassment.

“I don’t know if we can
reduce all that concerns us to a mere attraction, but I believe
that combined with the mysterious way I came to be here in
Hadrian’s Wall and the fact that we belong to two very different
worlds...so yeah. I can honestly say that I’m not
able
to handle it all.
I’d like to find the truth, but it seems to be eluding
me.”

He bowed his head and I
could swear that his eyes sparkled.
Calm
down, girl!
There was a simple and logical
explanation—it was merely the way the light reflected off the iris,
creating that peculiar effect. The physical laws could explain this
kind of phenomenon perfectly.
That’s my
theory and I’m sticking to it.

“Do you really want to know the truth? Are
you ready for it?”

I swallowed hard. Finally
he would to say the truth...and the mystery
would be
solved.

“I will
say this only once and never again will I repeat myself, so
pay attention, Melissa Baker.” He slowly turned to face me, never
taking his fiery eyes off of mine. I felt like a rabbit hypnotized
by a snake.