Handle With Care (15 page)

“I can see you’re my kind of man,” Dane said, his voice dripping with suggestion. “I’d like to meet up for a drink later. Get to know each other better.”

I swallowed hard. My gaydar might be rusty, but it was impossible to miss the subtext with him right up close and personal. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think my boyfriend would be too happy about that.”

“Pity.” He gave me a long look up and down. I wanted to hide behind the nearest filing cabinet, but he seemed to like what he saw, if the look on his face was anything to go by. He handed me a card. “If you change your mind sometime and want to take me up on the offer, just get in touch.”

I politely promised I would and took the card. It wouldn’t do to upset one of our top clients now, would it? Dane gave me one last lecherous grin and sauntered out to find James.

Five minutes later, I’d taken leave of everyone in the office, fielding all their kind words and offers of help with as much grace as I could manage, but I was too tired to hang around for long, and I desperately wanted to get home again.

The thought of Ollie waiting for me in the car was a real comfort, and I headed out as fast as I could.

Ollie wasn’t there.

I crossed the street, worry and irritation wrestling inside me. As I pulled my mobile out to give him a call, I looked in the driver’s side window and saw him huddled up on the seat, like he was trying to take up as little space as possible.

Was he sleeping? I tried the door, but it was locked.

I knocked on the window, and Ollie startled, whipping his head around with a panicked expression. It melted into relief as he caught sight of me. He reached up to unlock the door and slid across into his own seat.

“You okay?” I asked. “Thought I was the only one of us who needed naps during the day.”

“Yeah, fine. How’d it go?”

He didn’t exactly sound or look fine, but I took his words at face value for the time being as I wanted to get home and comfortable before beginning a draining discussion.

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“It was good. A little tiring, perhaps.” I started the engine and was pulling out into traffic when I continued. “Our new client knows exactly how he wants things, which is great in some ways, but means we can’t cut any corners. I’ll be busy these next few weeks.”

Ollie mumbled something, and I couldn’t pick out the words, but he sounded grumpy.

I tried to cheer him up. “The guy’s such an overconfident prick he even tried to ask me out. Can you believe it? His gaydar must be a lot better than mine, or maybe he just tries it on with every guy he meets.”

Ollie didn’t answer. I risked a quick glance over at him on a straight stretch of road. His face was like thunder. God, he wasn’t the jealous type, was he?

“I turned him down, you’ll be pleased to know.”

“Dane asked you out?” Ollie asked, like he hadn’t even heard anything I’d said since.

“Yeah, I know. I’m as surprised as you are. It’s okay, though. I’m not interested in him.”

“I can’t believe Dane asked you out.” Ollie’s tone was flat—I couldn’t remember ever hearing him speak that way before. Was he feeling pissed off and left out because I was getting back to the life I’d had before the kidney failure?

Before I’d ever met him?

I negotiated a tricky junction in silence, and then it dawned on me. I’d never mentioned Dane’s name to Ollie, had I? I glanced over again and was stunned to see tears in his eyes.

I kept my voice calm and reassuring, despite my nerves thrumming and my heart jittering. “Whatever it is you’re not telling me, we need to have a talk about it when we get back.”

Ollie nodded, sniffed, and a tear ran down his cheek.

I attempted to keep my mind blank as I drove back across Reading. There was no point indulging in useless speculation when I didn’t have any facts. Dane could be anything to Ollie. Just because he was gay didn’t mean they’d had a relationship of any kind. Of course, by the time we’d pulled into my driveway, I was bursting with possible scenarios.

Ollie remained seated as I got out of the car. He hadn’t even undone his seat belt. The silent tears had stopped falling, thank God, but he looked dazed. I opened his door and spoke softly to him.

“Come on inside. Whatever it is, you’ll feel better when you’ve shared it.” I wasn’t convinced of that myself, but it’s what I always used to say to Zoe whenever she came home from school in tears.

Ollie nodded and followed me into the house, his movements stiff and his arms wrapped tight around himself. I led him to the kitchen and set about making tea. My body was exhausted, and I was dimly aware that I’d be paying for overdoing it soon enough, but the adrenaline seemed to be keeping me going for the moment.

I sat down opposite him and watched him cradle the cup in his hands, staring down into it as if he expected to find the answers there. Although what the question was, I wasn’t entirely sure just yet.

“Are you ready to talk?”

“I think so.”

I waited a long time, and finally the words began, so low I had to strain to hear them.

“He’s my ex. Dane, I mean. We were together…a long time. Four years.”

“Four years? You’re only twenty now.”

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Ollie nodded miserably. “Since I was fifteen,” he whispered.

“That’s sick.” The words were out of my mouth before I’d had time to think, but I regretted them instantly.

“What’s sick?” Ollie retaliated, his eyes flashing. “Being in love with someone older? Thanks a lot.”

“But he was an arsehole, taking advantage of your innocence.”

“Innocence?” Ollie gave a twisted smile. “You think I’m innocent?”

“You know what I mean. You’re young. You’re too trusting. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You could easily be used by someone older and more experienced. Made to do things you weren’t ready for.” I wished I could shut up as I watched the expression on Ollie’s face grow darker and darker. “You’ve got this urge to look after people that could easily be exploited by someone clever.”

“You think I’m just a doormat, don’t you?” Ollie rose and glared at me. “I don’t need to listen to this right now.”

He stormed out the door, and I followed as fast as I could, although my legs seemed to have lost all coordination and my mind was spinning.

“Wait, Ollie, just listen to me.” I reached out to stop him opening the front door.

Ollie pushed me back, surprisingly strong in the heat of his anger. I stumbled against the wall and watched him pick up his satchel and board.

“You’re overreacting. That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant. I’m just a stupid kid who doesn’t have a proper job and used to be a houseboy.” He gave his skateboard a tight smile. “I’m not grown up enough for you.”

Ollie used to be Dane’s houseboy? My brain scrambled to process that new bit of information as Ollie opened the front door. “Wait, we need to talk. Ollie, please!”

He turned to give me one last look, and this time I saw the tears streaming down his cheeks. “I need some time by myself.”

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I was too tired to do anything like chase after him in the car. The state I was in, I’d have been unsafe on the roads. That’s what I told myself as I went to crash out on my sofa, anyway. Underneath it all there was a poisonous little voice in my ear, whispering I’d been taken for a ride. I lay there and gave it time to fill my head with suspicions until I must have drifted off.

“Hey, Benj, you all right?” Zoe’s voice roused me from my slumber.

“Huh?” I rubbed my eyes, and the memory of Ollie storming off rose to the top of my consciousness. “Shit!”

“Everything okay? I’ve been calling you and Ollie, but no one was answering. How’d it go at the meeting?”

I looked up at Zoe. Her face was in shadow, and I realised from the light levels I must have been asleep for some time. “Yeah, the meeting was good.

What’s the time?”

“Half seven. Where’s Ollie got to? I thought he was supposed to be with you this evening. We’d arranged to talk through some café stuff together. He needs tips on dealing with wholesalers, or they’ll see him coming a mile off.”

“Ollie went out,” I snapped.

“What’s going on?” Zoe stood over me, her arms folded, and I knew I wouldn’t get away with pretending not to know what she was talking about.

“We had a fight.”

“Okay, mind telling me why? Ollie’s about the least confrontational person I’ve ever met.”

“Are you accusing me of starting it?”

Zoe just looked at me, her eyebrows disappearing up under her fringe.

“Fine, fine, it was me, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay. Why are you picking fights with Ollie?”

“I just found out some stuff about his past. Stuff he should have told me before. You know he used to be a houseboy for this hotshot businessman? Can you see a pattern there?”

“Pattern?”

“Yeah, like he wanted another sugar daddy to replace Dane, and then along came me. You said it yourself, didn’t you? You warned me Ollie was a gold-digger.”

“Jesus Christ, Benjamin Lethbridge! I cannot believe I’m hearing this crap!”

I sat there, stunned, as Zoe laid into me.

“You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”

“Well, it seemed—”

“Has Ollie ever
asked
you for money?”

“No, but—”

“Has he ever asked if he could move in here?”

“No, he hasn’t—”

“Has he ever even hinted that he wants something, or given you any real reason to believe that he’s in this because of your money?”

I thought long and hard. Zoe was scary when she was angry. “Um, now that you come to mention it, he’s never really asked me for anything.” Except for the chance to look after me, to do things for me, to make me come. “God, I’ve really fucked things up, haven’t I?”

Zoe plonked herself down onto the sofa next to me. “Listen, Benj, Ollie told me about Dane and the way things were between them, and I can honestly say I 136

don’t think he wants a repeat of that relationship ever again. The things that draw him to you are completely different to the things he fell for about Dane, and even then, I don’t think he was in it for the money.”

“How come he told you and not me?”

“I dunno. Because I actually listen rather than making assumptions, perhaps?”

I probably deserved that, so I swallowed the surge of irritation. “So why was Ollie with Dane?”

“I think you should ask him that yourself, but for what it’s worth, I think Ollie needs someone to look up to. You know he worships the ground you walk on, don’t you? He thinks you bloody well hung the moon. I’m surprised he hasn’t set up some kind of shrine to you. I’ve tried to warn him you’re only human, but to him, you’re some kind of superhero.”

“I’m not worthy of being adored.”

“Well, I know that better than anyone, but I love you anyway.”

“Cheers, Sis,” I grumbled.

“Don’t mention it,” Zoe deadpanned. “You need to be telling Ollie this instead of me. Explain how you feel about it all, yeah?”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re giving me much of a choice.”

She grinned, but I could see the steel in her eyes and the set of her jaw. “I’m not letting you bollocks this up, Benj. I don’t care how young and penniless he is, if he makes you happy.”

I nodded. “He does. Okay, I’ll do it.”

I picked up my mobile and tried his number, but his phone was switched off.

“Where could he be?” Zoe asked. “You must have an idea.”

“I’ll have to try his mate Omar’s place.”

“Want me to come with you?”

“Thanks, but I should do this on my own.” I pulled Zoe into a fierce hug.

“You’re the best, you know that?”

Zoe squeezed me back just as tightly. “You too. Now go get your man.”

Ollie had told me he lived above the corner shop on Henley Road, so his address wasn’t too difficult to find. Night was already falling as I pulled up in the tiny parking area around the back of the shop, and I had a moment’s fear for the safety of the MG there. It might only be a mile from my own place, but it was like another world here, complete with roaming packs of youths in hooded tops out looking for kicks. Still, the car was just a thing; if it got stolen, it got stolen. I wasn’t about to let Ollie go because I valued an object more than him.

The flat was accessed by set of metal stairs leading to a balcony around the back, which looked down over the cracked parking area and the overflowing bins. Someone had gone to an effort to cheer up the balcony with a few pots of tulips and pansies, but I could see why Ollie was so impressed with my place on its gentrified street of Victorian semis, all with their own front gardens.

I knocked on the door, and it opened with a waft of sweet incense. A tall, dark-skinned bloke stood backlit by the hallway lighting—the same one I’d seen Ollie with that time I went spying at the ramps. It could only be Omar. He was wearing nothing more than a pair of baggy silk trousers and a ferocious scowl.

With his shaved head and hooked nose, he looked like some kind of warrior out of the Arabian Nights.

“He’s not here,” Omar announced. He moved to slam the door in my face, but I’d wedged my foot in there. “And you’ve got some serious grovelling to do,
mate
.”

“Wait, how do you know who I am?”

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Omar rolled his eyes. “Ollie only goes and shows me the new photos of you on his phone every fucking evening. Then me and Meera get treated to all the latest news about how wonderful you are. It’s all ‘Ben said this’, and ‘Ben did that’. Makes me wanna chuck. He’s worse with you than he was with Dane.”

“Dane?” Did I really want to hear this?

“His ex. Total wanker, that bloke was, but Ollie thought the sun shone out of his arse.” Omar’s lip curled derisively. “Thought you was gonna treat him better, but you’re all the same, aren’t you? You older guys who go after the young ones.”

“Hey, wait a minute, I don’t think you know what’s going on here.”

“I know enough.” Omar shoved the door fully open and took a step forward out onto the balcony, seemingly heedless of the cool evening air on all that naked skin. “I know Ollie came home in a right fucking state because of something you did to him.”