HAPPY PANTS CAFE (THE HAPPY PANTS SERIES) (22 page)

A long line of very happy people stood behind the roped-off entrance while ushers took names and checked a clipboard.
a
battalion of security guards dressed in black stood on high alert.

“Wow,” was all Harper managed to say.

When she got to the front of the line, a young man in a black polo, wearing a headset and sporting a name tag that read “Jim,” greeted her. “Good evening. Name, please?”

“Harper Branton.”

He flipped through his pages of names. “Hmm…I’m very sorry, but I don’t see you on the list.”

“Ummm. Well—”

“Did you receive an invitation from the Leon-Parker family?”

“No, actually. A friend of mine is here and—”

“I’m very sorry, ma’am, but this event is by invitation only.”

“I know Ms. Luci, and I’m sure—”

“She’s very thorough and gives us very clear instructions. No invite. No entrance.”

Feeling the sting of humiliation because a long, long line of people were witnessing her rejection, she turned away and headed back toward the line of buses.

“Harper!” She heard a male voice call out. It was Sebastian. He wore a red silk button- down shirt, open to mid-chest. A puff of fluffy gray hair spilled out and gave her the urge to run home and get a pair of shears. Hair was manly, but he looked like he was Baby-Bjorning a poodle.

“Hi, Sebastian.” She made a little awkward wave as he slid past the rope toward her.

“Why are you leaving?” he asked. “We have not had our chance to dance.”

“Turns out I’m not on the list.”

“Oh. Well, for a kiss, I can get you in.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re not serious.”

“You may show me your breasts instead.”

“What?” she seethed.

He started to laugh. “Okay! You win. You may show me your breasts after the tequila-shot contest. No?”

Harper’s mouth hung open.

“Dad?” Juan magically appeared dressed in a very nice-looking black suit. “You’re needed inside. The caterer is having trouble with one of the guests who wants a fat-free sausage.”

Duh. They don’t make people sausage without fat.

“What?” Sebastian’s bulging eye bulged out of his head. She was scared it might actually pop out. “These…these…people! This is not Burger Queen. You cannot have it your way.” He stomped away, mumbling about the inanity of fat-free foods.

“Thank you,” Harper said to Juan.

“I’m sorry about my Dad. He can be a giant ass. Especially when it comes to big breasts.” Juan looked down at Harper’s chest and smiled.

Oh boy. Here we go again.

“So,” he said, “what are you doing out here?”

“I came to talk to Austin, but I’m not on the list.”

“Not to worry; I’ll get you in.”

“Oh. How nice—”

“For a kiss.”

Her face lit up. “You’re just like your dad, you know that?”

He shrugged. “Kiss or no entrance,” he said playfully.

Idiot
. “Fine. Bye.” She turned to leave, but was jerked back and found herself wrapped in Juan’s big arms, his lips smothering her mouth like a blanket thrown over an accidental fire.

~~

Austin had been keeping an eye out for Harper from the porch for over an hour while watching an ocean of very happy people pour into the party. He still couldn’t believe the size and scope of the event, but over the week he’d learned they’d done this every year for the last forty years. The family had an army of people—party planner, caterer, transportation, security—do most of the work while they oversaw every detail.

Now, how the press had never learned about it or come to stalk the invitees was a mystery to him because he’d seen the guest list. There was everyone from high-level dignitaries, A-list movie and television stars, to well-known business people. There were also plenty of non-famous people from all over the world, too. But the variety of people coming for this event
wasn’t what really piqued his curiosity. It was the brides. And grooms. And best men and maids of honor.

“What the hell is going on?” he asked Alberto, who was head of security for the evening and posted on the porch with a walkie-talkie in each hand.

Alberto smiled and scratched his chin. “This isn’t just a party. It’s a wedding.”

“Wedding? For who?”

“Anyone who wants to get married. They are all happy customers of my mother’s, but we do this for about a hundred couples every year. We have the county registrar set up inside the house so people can get their licenses.”

“How did you manage that?”

“She’s another satisfied customer. So is the nondenominational reverend performing the ceremonies.”

“These are all people who ate cookies?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It’s pretty amazing, actually. Even if you don’t believe in my mother’s cookies, it is damned strange how many people eat one and find their significant other.”

That was pretty strange. But maybe there was some reason. Or maybe it was like Luci
said, when people believe in something, it just has a way of happening.

So why don’t you believe?
he thought to himself, but he wasn’t referring to those silly cookies; he was thinking about Harper. He was thinking about how he wished things could be different between them. He was wishing that she’d change her damned stubborn opinion about love and relationships.
I wish she would change her mind about…

He looked down at his feet. His plan suddenly became clear. Like it had been whispered to him from the stars above.

Dude. Really? Did you just think that? You’d better hope your friends don’t find out what a sappy ass you are.

Fuck them. I want Harper. I’ve wanted her since I was eleven years old.
And now he realized that he hadn’t been with all of those women because he was a horny asshole. He’d been patiently searching for “the one,” biding his time, learning how to master a woman’s difficult, prickly, and treacherous terrain all with the hope that if he ever met “her,” he’d be ready. But every time he’d met a woman, he’d subconsciously compared her to Harper, hoping that one might fit as perfectly as she had.

None of them did. Because you can’t get any better than perfect.

Dude. It’s official. You are a closet romantic.

Yes. But I am manly enough to accept it. And to beat the crap out of anyone who makes fun of me.

He turned to Alberto. “Put another couple on the list.”

Alberto’s eyes widened just a bit, and he shrugged his brows. “Sure. Why not? And may I ask who the bride will be?”

“Never mind that. Just make sure I’m on your list.” Tonight, he was going for all or nothing. He’d invited his parents, thinking that they would be his proof that true love was real and lasted. But now he knew that this was what he was meant to do. He was going to marry Harper tonight. He would show her that he was willing to put everything on the line for her: his job, his pride, his heart. Men like him didn’t go around exposing themselves like this. But he was willing to risk it all. For her. He would simply need to believe enough for the both of them. He simply needed to believe in her.

He turned toward the entrance and spotted Harper. His heart dropped through the soles of his feet as he saw Juan kissing her passionately.

Austin practically choked on his own rage.

“Man, that’s rough.” Alberto slapped his back and chuckled. “Still want me to put you down on the list for wedded bliss?”

Austin was speechless for several moments. “If my parents show up looking for me, I’ll be over in the drink tent with the mariachis doing the shots competition.”

~~

Harper pulled away from Juan, shocked as hell that he’d just forced himself on her like that. What was he thinking?

She slapped him as hard as she could across the cheek.

Juan rubbed his face and smiled. “Mmmm…don’t pretend you didn’t like that.”

“I didn’t. Now get me into that party. A deal is a deal.”

Juan dipped his head. “Okay. But you and I aren’t done yet.”

She hissed in his general direction and walked past the rope. As she got closer to the music, the base thumped inside her ears so loudly she could barely hear her own thoughts. She needed to find Austin and then get the hell out of there. This was just too much.

She rushed toward the porch and spotted Alberto in his black polo talking on his walkie-talkie. He took one look at her and pointed toward the drink tent.

“Thanks!” She rushed through the crowd and stopped in her tracks when she saw her sister, Jessa, and her husband,
Cas, talking to Dan, the owner of the paper, of all people.

What in the world?

“Jessa?”

“Harper, honey! So nice to see you.” Her sister hugged her tightly, and
Cas gave her a kiss on the cheek. Jessa was snookered.

Just then, Christina Bass-Andrews came up with her hubby. “Hey, sweetie!” She hugged Harper’s sister and then smiled at Harper.

“Christina,” Harper said, “nice to see you again. How was the honeymoon?”

“Fabulous!” She turned toward Dan and his wife. “Hey, guys! Wassup!” They hugged and laughed like old friends.

What alternate universe have I landed in?

Dan glanced at Harper and then dropped his smile. “Ms. Branton, how’s the unemployed life?”

His wife slapped his shoulder. “Oh, honey, don’t rub it in. We’re here to have fun. Speaking of fun.” She looked at Harper. “I saw you’re with Juan.” She fanned her face. “What a catch, sister!”

“You’re with Juan?” Jessa asked. “Wow. I just met him. That guy is crazy-
humpable.”

Cas
blinked at Jess. “Humpable?”

She shrugged. “Yeah. It’s a word.”

“Must you be so crass?”

Jessa’s eyes flickered with mischief. “You weren’t complaining on the limo ride over.”

Iiiiick!
“Thank you two for that wonderful tidbit. By the way, I’m not with Juan. I’m here to…to…” Everyone stared at her, suppressing smirks. “What is with everyone?”

They shrugged in unison, looking very guilty of something.

“Wait. How do you know my sister?” Harper asked Dan.

“I got married recently. She helped with the
prenup; it’s standard procedure as I own the paper, and my investors want to be sure it stays mine, no matter what.”

Small world, I guess, but…

“How do you know Christina?”

“I’m a news man, Harper. You’re not the only one who goes to events. My wife is also a fan, so Christina always gives us backstage passes to her show’s filming. Is there a particular reason, Miss Harper, that you’re asking all of these questions?”

“No. I guess I thought…I don’t know. I think I’m in shock.” She was about to comment that it was all too much of a coincidence, but then she spotted Austin across the crowd over in the drink tent surrounded by mariachi. Was he doing shots?

“I’ll be right back.”

Jessa grabbed Harper’s elbow. “Hey, where are you going?”

Why was everyone grabbing her tonight?

“I need to go talk to someone.”

“Harper, you and I need to talk,” said Dan. “Immediately.”

“About what?”

“Um…um…” His wife elbowed him, and he yelped. “About me firing you.”

Harper blinked. “Are you hiring me back?”

His wife leaned into him and whispered. He nodded in agreement. “Well, I see you’re rushing over to speak with that reporter from the
Oakland Examiner
. And I’m sure you’re upset with him for telling me that you were helping him, but I wanted to point out that we must adhere to a code of ethics in journalism. Mr. Royce is not to blame. In fact, I applaud him for his honesty.”

Harper couldn’t believe her ears. Was Dan telling her that Austin was the one who got her fired?

“May I speak to you privately for a moment?” she asked Dan.

Harper pulled Dan a few feet away. “You’re telling me that Austin called you in person and told you that I was helping him break a story?”

He stared at her, but didn’t reply.

“But it’s a lie, Dan. I wasn’t helping him. We were competing. Winner would get an exclusive interview with Ms. Luci and access to her client list.”

“Well, it appears he won. I’m told by my sources that he’s breaking the news of the café and this party tomorrow morning.”

“No. I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to believe, Miss Harper. Because he’s doing the story for me. I offered him a job earlier today. He’ll be taking over our political section. His first article will be about this event. I believe he’s going to highlight how faith plays a role in modern politics. It’s a very unique angle if you think ab—”

“You offered him a job?” Harper seethed.

“Yes. And he just accepted about one minute before you came up. I’m very excited; he’s got a lot of passion. You could learn a lot from him.”