Harlequin Superromance January 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: Everywhere She Goes\A Promise for the Baby\That Summer at the Shore (20 page)

And me?
she thought sadly.
I murmured sympathy and agreement even though I knew perfectly well that he didn't stop and he deserved that ticket.

Because she'd wanted peace more than she had wanted honesty or self-respect.

She moved restlessly in the chair. This new start had been really important to her. Instead, first Blake and then this unknown man whose face she hardly remembered had forced her into a state of fear and dependency that was undermining any belief she'd started with that she could be strong.

Instead, she got to spend a lot of time being grateful that she had Colin and Noah and, because of them, so many other people to protect her.

* * *

T
HE
NEXT
MORNING
, Colin wandered into the kitchen, where Cait was pouring herself a cup of coffee. Despite it being Saturday, he was dressed for work, lacking only the suit coat. He'd already clipped his holster and badge to his narrow black belt.

“That's a big gun,” she observed, nodding at his waist. “Do you have to hoist your pants to keep it up?”

He laughed. “Funny, Nell asked me the same thing one time. No, I keep my belt tight enough to hold up the weight. The only time it's a problem is when I, uh, have to sit on the toilet. Which isn't often when I'm working, thank God.”

She made a face at him. “Thank you for that visual.”

“Having your weapon tangled up with your pants around your ankles isn't a good thing. I heard about a cop who died when someone reached under the stall and snatched his handgun.”

“Wow. Okay, so it's not only undignified, it's dangerous.”

He grinned. “Mostly undignified.” His expression sobered. “Cait, I haven't said anything, but this choice ought to be yours. Ralston keeps asking to see you.”

She went still. “Why would he want to see me?”

Her brother grimaced. “He wants to tell you how sorry he is.”

Cait stared at him. “No.”

“Yeah, I'm afraid so.”

“He didn't think writing ‘I'm sorry' thirty-five times on the side of my house covered it?” Her voice was rising by the end.

“He claims he means it this time.”

She snorted. “No. No more.”

“Good.” He bent his head and kissed her cheek. “I'm off.”

“It's Saturday.”

“I need to do some catch-up. Nell's home, so you won't be alone. Do me a favor and don't so much as step outside.”

“Or stand by a window.”

“I'm sorry, Cait.” His mouth twisted. “Poor choice of words.”

She wanted to be able to laugh, but her sense of humor had gone into deep freeze lately. All she could do was shake her head. “
I'm
the one who should say I'm sorry. I had no business running to Angel Butte because you were here without talking to you about it. You got stuck taking care of me, and that's not fair to you
or
Nell.”

Colin's expression was rarely unguarded, but for once he let her see emotions that choked her up. “I spent years telling you I was here if you needed me. I meant every word, Cait.”

“And then I was such a shit,” she managed, although tears threatened and her nose ran.

“I love you.”

She threw herself into his arms and wept for a moment into his crisp white shirt, so grateful for the strength of his arms around her, even as that gratitude made her cringe inside. Finally, snuffling, she retreated. “I got you wet.”

Colin chuckled. “I'll dry.” He kissed her cheek and departed.

Cait grabbed a paper towel, mopped her eyes and blew her nose vigorously, emerging from behind the paper towel to find her sister-in-law pouring herself a cup of coffee and smiling.

“Just so you know,” Nell said, “having you need him is one of the best things that's happened to Colin. And I know you must be chafing, but don't waste a minute feeling guilty because you sucked him in.”

Cait swallowed and nodded. “I came to Angel Butte because Colin always protected me.”

“That's who he is.” Nell wrinkled her small freckled nose. “I don't suppose he gave us permission to go shopping?”

“I believe his exact words were ‘Don't so much as step outside.'” She sighed. “It so happens I'm free to clean house.”

“Let's at least bake. I love baking, even if nothing I make tastes like Hailey's food.”

The thought was at least slightly cheering. “Chocolate chip cookies?”

Nell gave her a cherubic grin that made her look about twelve years old. “What else?”

* * *

C
OLIN
HAD
WORKED
before with Ronald Floyd, a deputy D.A. for Butte County, the lucky guy who got to prosecute Blake Ralston. Floyd stopped by to talk about another case and only smiled wryly when Colin said, “And you didn't have anything better to do on a sunny Saturday afternoon than come in to work?”

“Says the man behind the desk.”

“Seems like we've had a crime spree lately. If they're growing pains, I don't like them.”

“I had the same thought,” Floyd admitted. Middle-aged and graying, though so far he'd kept his hair, he'd been a prosecutor a lot longer than Colin had been a cop. He was a good one, too, hardworking, dedicated and patient. “The Hegland killing, though. Jesus, Colin! The guy was an airport manager. What, did somebody want to hijack an airplane?”

The department was keeping Hegland's possible link to drug traffickers quiet. There was undoubtedly gossip about the officers who had been fired, but no announcements had been made about the reasons. Until the Feds were ready to move forward, Colin couldn't say anything. The one positive of all the foot-dragging was that nobody in the department could be sure the investigation was ongoing. If the reason for Bystrom's resignation had been widely known back in December when it happened, the rats would have all jumped ship immediately.

“Did you know him?” he asked.

“Hegland?” Floyd looked surprised. “Only in passing. Can't remember the last time I so much as set eyes on him. You?”

“I might have met him, I'm not sure.”
And, oh, yeah, he screwed my mother, but who am I to hold that against a dead man?

“This thing with your sister must have you on edge.”

“Ralston?”

“Not what I was thinking about, but at least she won't have to worry about him for a while. I'm going for the maximum sentencing. I mean, the library?”

Colin shared the sentiment. Threatening to bomb the courthouse or the public safety building? Inconvenient, but sure. Scaring all those moms and little kids was something else. “By the way,” he said, “will you be talking to his attorney?”

“Undoubtedly. Why?”

“Tell him Cait says no. She's not interested in any more apologies from him and sure as hell isn't going to indulge him by letting him issue one in person.”

“Can't say I blame her. Do you have any idea who took those potshots at her?”

People kept asking Colin that. It really grated that he had to shake his head. “So far, the investigation has stalled.” Only a few people knew that her assailant and Hegland's killer were likely one and the same.

“I haven't met your sister yet, but someone pointed her out to me. In fact, I saw her out with the mayor the other night,” Floyd said casually.

Colin still didn't know what Cait was thinking, but Noah had begun to grow on him. The last thing either of them needed was to be the butt of gossip. They weren't using their heads, but Colin knew why. He'd seen the way Noah looked at her.

Now he shrugged. “Maybe work-related, but I guess they've gotten to be friends.” He hesitated. “Something you might not have heard yet, Ronald. You know those bones we dug out of a backyard? We've identified the guy. He turned out to be Noah Chandler's father.”

“What?” The D.A. stared at him in shock.

“You heard me.”

“But...Chandler isn't even from around here.”

“Apparently he came to Angel Butte because it was his father's last known address.”

Floyd swore a few times. He was still shaking his head when he left.

Growing pains.
Colin brooded, leaning back in his leather desk chair. Who was he kidding? Angel Butte never had been the safe small town they had all believed it was, and Butte County wasn't the rural backwater they'd deluded themselves it was, either. Too many of the recent crimes had their roots in the past.

It was time he quit waffling and threw his hat in the ring. He could make as much or more difference as county sheriff as he could have as Angel Butte police chief.

The job, he reminded himself, that Noah Chandler had robbed him of.

And my sister is sleeping with this man.

The sound he made in his throat was not a happy one.

* * *

S
UNDAY
MORNING
,
before most people were awake, Noah ran to the top of Angel Butte and back home again. Early as it was, the day was promising to be hot. Draining a bottle of water, he thought about staining the now stripped woodwork in the two front bedrooms and couldn't work up any enthusiasm. Better he wait until he had the floors sanded anyway. Last time he'd done the two jobs ass-backward, he'd had to touch up the stain.

He wondered what Cait was doing this weekend. The look of desperation he'd seen on her face a few times kept tormenting him. She couldn't go for a run or head out for an aerobics class at the health club if she'd joined yet. Her new town house was gathering dust. As far as he knew, the only times she left her brother's house or city hall was when she was with Colin, hidden behind the tinted windows in his SUV.

Or with me.

Would she rather have spent the weekend with him? The thought was insidious. If Colin didn't talk, no one would know she was there. What would she have said if he'd asked her? Noah wondered. It wasn't too late. What would she say if he called and asked her to spend the day with him?

Noah wished he knew whether she'd so much as given him a thought the past few days. If so, there was no reason she couldn't have called him, was there? he asked himself defensively.

And do what?
asked an irritating voice in his head.
Invite you to hang out at her brother's house?

This was a woman who had no privacy and damn few choices these days.

Guilt speared him. He dried himself, got dressed and went downstairs. He could have breakfast first. But his usual bowl of cereal didn't sound very appealing. And maybe it was too early to call Cait, but he doubted she was staying up into the wee hours and sleeping late these days, either.

Even if she was up, he half expected her to let his call go to voice mail. That's what he deserved. But instead she answered, although she didn't sound all that excited.

“Noah.”

“Ah...wondered if you have plans today?”

“Nell and I thought we might prepare some dinners for the week.”

“Could I talk you into coming to brunch instead? I make damn good waffles.”

There was a really long silence. He braced himself.

“You know, this might be a good time for us to do the smart thing and call it quits.”

He didn't like the echo of what he'd been telling himself. “No.”

“I'd swear Friday I saw you duck into Shirley Suh's office because you saw me coming down the hall,” Cait said acidly.

He couldn't stand Shirley, and Cait knew it.

“I don't ‘duck,'” he protested, knowing he'd done exactly that.

Silence.

“Hell,” he growled, goaded. “I admit, I had some second thoughts.”

“And?” Cait McAllister could be as uncompromising as he was.

Noah closed his eyes. This whole conversation was outside his comfort zone.
She
was outside his comfort zone. But he'd seen that he had two choices: take the chance of being hurt beyond his wildest fears or let her go.

Too late.

Every muscle in his body had gone rigid. His SUV had gone off the road and hurtled toward a tree. He had the flicker of knowledge that he might not survive the collision.

“I may be slow,” he said, “but I eventually recognized it was the boy in me running scared.” He didn't think he
could
finish the thought. Say,
That's the boy who was sure even his own parents didn't really love him. The one who'd decided never to risk putting himself out there again, yearning for something impossible.

But he didn't have to say any of that, because Cait would understand.

“I'm done with that,” he concluded.

Control, focus, ambition had been all-important to him. Two months ago he wouldn't have been able to imagine letting go of them, making himself vulnerable. Knowing what he wanted most was out of his hands might kill him.

“I'm...beginning to realize how much I've listened to the little girl in me, too,” she said, softly, haltingly.

The distress in her voice reached right inside his chest and squeezed off the blood flow for a minute.

“I would love to have brunch with you, Noah.”

God.
His whole body sagged with the intense relief.

If you're going to jump, then do it,
he told himself.

“So, how would you feel about packing enough to stay the night?” he asked.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

T
HE
ALARM
SOUNDED
as if it needed to gargle.

Not quite awake, Cait puzzled over where she had spent the night. She hated being on the move like this, living out of a suitcase, but she had to be careful not to wear out any of her friends' generosity. Usually she plugged in her own alarm clock, but...

The heavy, muscled arm that lay across her wasn't part of her usual morning, either. She came awake abruptly, remembering. She wasn't in Seattle; she was in Angel Butte. And she had spent the night with Noah, the second that week.

Colin wasn't happy about it, although she had to believe he and Nell would like some time alone together, considering they hadn't been married very long.

The arm tightened, and Noah nuzzled her nape. “Morning,” he murmured with a rasp that hadn't yet cleared from his voice.

She tipped her head forward to give him better access. “Good morning.” She wriggled a little, enjoying the feel of his erection pressed against her butt. “You know we don't have time for this.”

“Sure we do.” His big hand gently squeezed her breast, and she shivered. “I gave us an extra half an hour.”

“You're kidding.”

“Nope. Planned ahead.”

She wasn't averse. His hand smoothed over her rib cage and belly and slipped between her thighs. She moaned and let him work his magic. It didn't take long until she wanted more, but when she started to roll to face him, he held her in place and nipped a sensitive spot on the side of her neck.

“I'm liking this.” His voice was edged with pleasure. He kept stroking her until her hips were moving involuntarily and he was rocking against her, too. “God, you feel good,” he said hoarsely, and then he pushed into her.

Cait's back arched in a great spasm. Lovemaking with Noah had always been hard and urgent. This morning he seemed to be taking his time. Her eyes closed, and she savored the sensations. She gripped his strong forearm even as his fingers still played between her legs. He used his teeth and lips on her neck and the muscles that ran to her shoulder, stinging her with tiny bites, then soothing the skin with a damp lick. He sucked until she knew she'd show the mark, but right this minute she didn't care.

He began moving faster, driving harder, deeper. Finally he groaned and half lifted her onto her knees, rising behind her to thrust in a powerful rhythm that sent her over the edge, her body shuddering in astonishing pleasure. With a long, guttural sound, he pulsed inside her, and as she sagged to the mattress he came down on top of her.

It was a minute before she noticed she couldn't breathe. She squirmed. Noah grumbled in his throat and rolled off her, coming down on his back.

“Hell of a way to start the morning,” he said in a voice that was still rusty but obviously satisfied.

Cait struggled to turn over so she could see him. “Are we late?”

His mouth lifted in a smile that fleetingly made him handsome. “Five minutes to spare.”

“Did you give me a hickey?”

He lifted his head and inspected her. His lips curved. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“I should give you one in revenge.”

He lifted his chin, baring his neck to her. “Have fun.”

She gave serious thought to it, but settled for making a face at him. “As nice as today is going to be, I'd look like an idiot wearing a turtleneck, even assuming I had one in my bag.” Not that
she'd
be outside in the beautiful June weather. “What will people think?”

His eyebrows rose. “That you're having great sex?”

Cait sighed. She couldn't argue with that. “Dibs on the first shower.”

He slapped her butt as she slipped out of bed. “I might get somewhere on the second bathroom if you weren't keeping me so busy.”

Time for a saucy smile and a waggle of her hips as she headed for the hall. “One is enough as long as I get to go first.”

Having to climb into the claw-footed tub to shower had made it a challenge for two, one they'd overcome on Monday morning, since Noah hadn't had the forethought to set the alarm for earlier. Unfortunately, they had not only used all the hot water, Cait had slipped and banged her knee painfully, leaving a bruise. On top of that, they'd been late arriving at city hall.

Or maybe
that
was fortunate, she thought now, massaging his shampoo into her hair. She was pretty sure nobody had seen them arrive together.

They weren't going to get away with this for long. Because she had a bag in his Suburban, Noah would have to take her back to Colin's that afternoon. Which meant they were both arriving
and
leaving together.

As she was stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel, the bathroom door opened. Noah walked in. He was an impressive sight naked, solid and muscular. When her gaze finally made it up to his face, she saw that he had a strange expression.

“I didn't use a condom.”

“I'm on the pill,” she said slowly, stunned to realize she hadn't given a thought to a precaution she had never willingly dispensed with before. “Um...we could quit using condoms.”

Noah's stare was unnerving. It was a long time before he gave a short nod. “All right.”

Leaving him to shower, she wondered if she'd freaked him out again. What had he thought, that he might have impregnated her? Cait was dismayed at the funny cramp she felt down low at the idea. What would it be like to make love with the hope of getting pregnant? Noah didn't sound as if he'd ever want children. He'd looked really disturbed when he'd realized he'd forgotten the condom. Remembering the expression on his face hurt even though she knew they didn't have that kind of relationship.

As if she had the slightest idea what kind of relationship they
did
have.

He was done with running scared, he'd said, without elaborating on what he'd been scared
of.
He had asked her to stay the night, knowing they were risking their relationship—for want of a better word—becoming public knowledge. That was the sum total of his commitment thus far.

She'd had an amazing time with him that week. He had been less guarded, letting her see some doubts and self-mockery he'd always hidden before. His sense of humor was more evident, too. And she couldn't doubt his physical hunger for her.

Why was she even thinking like this?
New life, independence, remember? No men?
Shouldn't that ring a bell? And, especially, no domineering men?

But, heaven help her, she was beginning to wonder if that description actually fit Noah, at least in the way she'd feared. Yes, of course he was bossy. Definitely impatient. He evaluated evidence and made decisions quickly and had little tolerance for the wait while other people caught up with him. Unlike Blake, he did listen, though, and even changed his mind based on new information. She hadn't been able to help noticing that the people he had hired since winning the election were more capable and stronger-minded than the old-timers. That suggested he actively sought out managers likely to challenge him.

She thought about how much he seemed to enjoy arguing. Not once had he behaved as if she threatened his masculinity or sovereignty when she contradicted him or won an argument with superior firepower.

As she rolled thigh-high stockings up her legs, partly to cover the bathtub bruise that was still mostly purple, she reflected again on how much he had in common with her brother. Neither man would like hearing that, she knew; in fact, she could just imagine Noah's expression if she suggested any such thing. But it was true. And what she'd seen was that Colin had two sides—the police captain who elevated
guarded
to ten-foot-thick stone walls with slits for pouring boiling oil on the enemy, and then Nell's husband and Cait's brother, a man who was patient, gentle and infinitely dependable. A man she'd known she could run to, despite eighteen years of estrangement.

For the first time, she understood how, even in his absence, Colin had shaped her idea of the ideal man. His one check in the debit column was his capacity for violence, so like their father's to her child's eyes. Thus explaining her choice of smart, not-so-physical guys. One of whom brutalized her, while Noah, both smart and unnervingly physical, seemed willing to do anything to keep her safe.

Caught up in her reflections, she didn't even look at Noah when they traded places again. She used gel in her hair and dried it quickly, then applied a minimum of makeup. No need to worry about suntan lotion, either, when the sum total of her outdoor time today would be walking thirty feet to Noah's SUV and then, at the end of the day, an even shorter distance from it to Colin's front door. She didn't have to worry about the sweat factor, either. If this went on much longer, she was not only going to look pasty; she was going to have to start worrying about getting enough vitamin D.

Right. There was the biggest source of anxiety in her life.

She packed her overnight bag and carried it downstairs, leaving it by the front door, then followed the smell of brewing coffee to the kitchen. Noah already had a raisin-cinnamon bagel in the toaster, which she stole when it popped up. He put another in and poured two cups of coffee. He was quieter than usual as they ate, which made her wonder what he was thinking and how much of him she'd see the rest of the week.

It stung that she
had
to wonder.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Sure.” She grabbed her messenger bag and let him carry the overnight bag. He locked the door, and they cut across the lawn to the driveway.

“Oh, shit,” he said suddenly under his breath.

Cait turned her head. A balding man approached on the sidewalk, towed by a golden retriever on the end of a leash. George Miller, city council member and developer. She didn't even have time to avert her face before stunned recognition dawned on his face.

Noah reached out and gripped her arm. Both of them stopped where they were. Tail swinging happily, the dog tried to get to them but was brought up short by his leash.

“George,” Noah said, nodding.

Turning red, he looked from one to the other of them. “Goddamn it! I'd heard the rumors, but I didn't believe them. What in the hell were the two of you thinking?”

* * *

O
F
ALL
THE
LUCK
.

Miller had to be the last council member Noah would have wanted to encounter under these circumstances.

Noah knew his fingers had to be biting into Cait's arm. She seemed to be struck dumb, not even blinking.

He thought quickly, but there weren't many options. No point in denying she'd spent the night, not when the bag that dangled from his other hand was peach-colored and clearly feminine.

“We're both single adults,” he said evenly. “We're not stepping on anyone's toes.”

George's eyes narrowed. Chances were he was seeing a gift placed right in his hands. He'd like nothing better than to force Noah's resignation.

“The woman works for you, Chandler.” He shook his head in disgust. “You're playing with fire here.”

Cait stiffened. “I can assure you there was no coercion involved, George. The city won't be looking at a suit for sexual harassment, if that's what you're afraid of.”

George didn't so much as bother glancing at her. Neither did Noah, who appreciated the sentiment but almost shook his head at her naïveté. George wasn't afraid of a lawsuit—he'd like nothing better.

This was politics, plain and simple.

“This is a little more than the two of us sleeping together,” Noah said easily. “Cait has agreed to marry me.”

“What?” she gasped.

This time George's sharp gaze did slice to her.

Noah tightened his fingers even more. “As it happens, you're the first to know. We haven't even told Cait's brother yet. We'd appreciate it if you'd keep the news to yourself for a day or two.”

The dog squatted and peed on Noah's lawn. George scowled at Cait and Noah.

“What do you plan to do about the job?”

“We wouldn't be the first married couple to work together.”

Noah sensed words wanting to burst out of Cait, but for the moment she kept her mouth shut.

“Hmph.” The city councilman yanked on his dog's leash. “We'll see about that,” he snapped and turned back the way he came.

For a moment, Noah didn't move. Then he steered Cait to the Suburban. As always when she wore her high heels, he stood behind her until she was safely in, tossed her bag in the rear, then went around and got in behind the wheel. He stuck the key in the ignition but didn't turn it. His hand fell to his thigh.

He couldn't decide if he was in shock or not. A man who'd sworn never to marry had just announced his engagement.

“Are you crazy?” she burst out.

He turned his head to look at her. “What did you want me to say?”

“‘It's none of your business, George'? Or stop with reminding him that we're two adults?” Her eyes shot sparks. “And, by the way, you couldn't have mentioned that he's a neighbor of yours?”

“He lives two blocks down.” Noah clenched and unclenched his jaw. “Howard Fulton is three blocks the other way. You know at heart this is a small town.”

“Oh, God.” Her voice had sunk to a whisper and she crossed her arms as if to hold herself together. “I knew this was going to happen. I'll lose my job.”

“You won't,” he said sharply.

“Oh, come on. You're important—I'm not. I haven't made any mark at all yet.”

He shook his head. “You don't get it. If there's trouble, it will be aimed at me. As your boss, I'm the predator and you're the victim.”

“Oh, God,” she said again and bent forward as if her stomach hurt.