Heard It All Before (33 page)

Authors: Michele Grant

BOOK: Heard It All Before

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“Ray, please. Let it go.” I could tell he was holding back something.

“No! I want to know, what is it? Your ego, your pride? Is it Beau? He's nothing to me, nothing! Another woman? Whoever she is, she can't do anything for you the way I could. Baby, you know how Iâ”

He interrupted in a quiet but firm tone. “Renee.”

“Yes?”

“Don't make me say this.”

“Say what?”

“The thing you don't want to hear that will hurt you the most.”

I frowned, what could it be? “Just say it.”

“Ray, I don't want you anymore. In retrospect, I'm not sure that I ever even loved you.”

I felt like all the breath had been knocked out of me. I was literally reeling and had to reach over to grab the edge of the sofa. I couldn't have heard him right. “What?”

“You heard me, Ray.”

Yeah, I'd heard him. I just didn't believe himâhow could he not want
me
? What did he mean he'd never loved me? We were going to get married! “I'm coming over there. You look at meâlook me in my faceâand tell me that.” How could he
not want
me,
not love
me?

“I will if I have to, Renee, but do you really want to put both of us through that?”

My mouth fell open. He was serious. “You're serious?”

“Like a heart attack.”

“And we're really through?”

“Completely over.”

I was in such shock, I barely knew what I was saying. “So I guess the wedding's off.” Soon as I said it, I winced. Of course it was off!

“Good-bye, Renee. Listen, I'm sure our paths will cross again in the future, since we have, er, mutual acquaintances. Let's try to be adult about this, shall we? No matter what happens?”

I pulled out of my dazed fog of pain long enough to register that. “What do you mean, mutual acquaintances ... no matter what happens?”

“Enough said, Ray.”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“You ... you really hurt me just now, Greg. I just can't believe it.”

“I'm sorry I hurt you. I guess it's ungentlemanly of me to point out that how you feel now, at this very moment, is probably exactly how I felt about three months ago. Here's some friendly advice from one who has been through itâyou'll get over it.” He hung up the phone.

It took me a while to get up and walk the handset to the cradle. I felt as though I'd been dealt a physical blow to the stomach. I looked around frantically for something, anything, to relieve the pain. Beau chose that moment to walk back in the door. He walked over to me, grabbed me by the waist, and kissed me.

“I'm home,
chÃ©re
.”

I grabbed on to him like he was a lifeline. “Thank God, I missed you.”

He tilted my face up and for once actually tried to see what was going on with me. “
C'est bien, chÃ©re?”
He frowned; he was not one for crisis situations.

“No, no, I'm not all right. But I think you can probably make it all better.” I snuggled closer.

He grinned. Now we were back on territory he was comfortable with. “I'd say it's more than a probability, sweetheart.” He picked me up and headed for the bedroom.

I allowed myself to be carried away.

Rome and Jewel

RomanâFriday, May 5, 6:21 p.m.

Y
ou know, I could have started getting over the damn girl if people would give me half a chance. It ain't enough that I kept running into folks who asked me, “How's Jewel?” all the damn time. No, last Sunday, I was at Moms and Pops' place. I went into the kitchen, and there was Moms chatting away to her on the phone like she was family or something.

Now I heard Chase downstairs talking to somebody, so I came down to check it out. There he was with the phone clutched in his little fingers. Made me rue the day the boy ever learned to use a phone. I was just gonna hang here and listen in for a minute before I broke this call up.

“How come we never see you no more, Miss Joo-well?”

Oh, I'da gotten up off all my bank to hear that answer.

“Doncha love us no more?”

I'd throw in the house too.

“You do?” Chase grinned. “I told Daddy you loved-ed me. Him, too, Miss Joo-well?”

I wanted to pick up another extension so bad, it was 'bout to kill me.

“I growed up since ya seen me!” He paused to hear her response and then launched into a lengthy description of all his activities over the past two months. When he ran out of breath, he took a deep one and said, “So, whatcha been doin'?”

I perked up again.

“Nothin' at all? That's sad, Miss Joo-well. Oh, you do?” He turned around and saw me. “Daddy, Miss Joo-well says she misses us lots and lots.”

I sighed. “She knows where to find us, son.”

“He says you know where to find us. Are you lost again? My daddy can tell you how to get here if you're lost again.” Ah, the innocence of childhood. There was more than one way to get lost once you got older.

“Well, okay, if you say so. When will I see you again?” His little face frowned. “I don't 'stand it, but okay.” He listened intently for a moment. “Love you, too, Miss Jewel. No, I won't forget.” He held the phone out to me. “Miss Joo-well wants to talk to ya, Daddy.”

“You sure?” I stared at the phone in my child's hand as if it would bite if I touched it.

“Yeah, Daddy, come on!”

I reached forward and grabbed the phone. “Hello?” Chase hopped down and started playing with his toy cars on the floor.

“Hello, Roman.” How could she sound the same when everything had changed?

“How ya doing, Miss Jewel?”

“I'm making it, player.” Small talk when there was so much to be said.

“Good to hear.”

“Listen, I just wanted to say that I hope it's okay for me to keep in touch with your family; they've come to mean a lot to me. I really love them.”

“Just my family, Miss Jewel?”

“You know better than that.”

“Do I know that?”

“If you don't know I love you, then we don't have a thing to say to each other.”

“Just had to hear it.”

“Well, I love you.”

“And I love you, Jewellen Rose.”

She sighed. I sighed. Love don't conquer all, not in the real world.

“Anyway,” I said, “it's fine with me if you want to keep in touch with the Montgomerys. No problem at all.” Except that it was a punch to the gut every time I heard her name.

“Okay, I guess that's it.” She sounded expectant, but for the life of me, I didn't know what she expected me to say.

“I guess so.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. Man, this was tough.

“All right, well, you doing okay?”

“ 'Bout as well as can be expected. You know how it is.”

“And the office?”

She knew how I hated chitchat. If she had something else to say, I wished she'd come on with it. “Business is good. Yours?”

“Good. You still playing at the center?”

“Yeah, season just started. Greg came with me last week.”

“Oh, how's he?”

“Really good. Better than ever, actually.”

“That's good. Renee's doing fine.”

“Yeah, I know. Beau brought her to Sunday dinner last week.” Much to my dismay. The one good thing about not seeing Miss Jewel was that I didn't have to see the fly girl either. Wouldn't you know I saw more of her now than ever before? “She says Stace and Trick are back together.”

“More power to them, I say,” Miss Jewel said.

“Yeah.” This was never really about Patrick but was about whether, through all the nonsense, we were a fit.

“Well ...” She paused.

“Well ... ,” I prompted.

“I'd better go and let you get back to LaChayse.”

I was disappointed. Was this it? All it was going to be? “I guess so.” It really wasn't that I was being stubborn. A little stubborn, okay. But I truly felt that if Jewellen couldn't understand what I was about, there was no need to prolong a relationship. Much as I thought we could have something special, I needed to be accepted for who and what I was.

She took a deep breath before saying, “Guess I'll see you around.”

“Yeah, you take care.” I hung up the phone before we could drag it out any longer.

Chase looked up from his cars. “You didn't tell her to come back, Daddy.” He pinned me with an extremely accusatory look coming from one so young.

“Well, ah, no, son, I didn't.”

“Doncha miss her, Daddy?”

“Yeah, I do, Chase.”

He shrugged and shook his head. “Then I don't get it.”

“Well, when you get older, you'll understand.”

“How old, Daddy?”

“I'll let you know.” Just as soon as I found out.

JewelâSaturday, May 27, 1:21 p.m.

I was still fuming a bit as I pulled into the parking lot of the rec center. I had gone over it and over it in my mind, and I knew I was doing the right thing for me. It just pissed me off. Why couldn't
he
cave in? Why couldn't he come to me and say, “Look, let's do whatever it takes to make this work. You're too important to me to lose.” Hey, that sounded good. Maybe I would use those exact words. Still chafed a little that it had to be me to do this thing. But after plenty of thought, I finally got it. I had played some games with RomanâI had held Jaquenetta over his head, and I basically told him I hated how he lived his life, that I didn't respect the things that were important to him. I wanted him to fit into my world (which he did), but I made little effort to fit into all of his. No wonder he wanted to know why I loved him; I had basically taken potshots at every element that made him who he was. After being taken for granted with Jaquenetta, he wasn't having it. You either accepted him for him or moved on. It took me a while but now I knew. Stubborn pride and humble pie made lonely bedfellows.

You know what else? That was
my man
. No how, no fly girl, hot mama was going to snag my man because I couldn't learn to bend a little. Well, I was here. I was willing to make a few concessions and see where that led. If it didn't work out after this, at least I'll know I tried.

I got out of the car and checked the reflection in the car window. I looked good. Denim shorts, button-front T-shirt with not two but three buttons undoneânever hurt to remind the boy what he was missing. I took a last look and swung my hair in the wind a little. Yeah, I was tight today.

I'd deliberately waited until I knew the game would be just about over to arrive. I found which court he was playing on just as Demetrius was coming down from the game-winning layup.

“Looking good, Demi,” I called out.

“You too, Jewel.” Demetrius smiled.

“Jew-Ro!” Roni Mae called out, and I felt a flash of dÃ©jÃ vu. Matter of fact, it was about a year ago this time that I strolled in here and laid eyes on that boy for the first time. Looking over, I waved at Roni. She looked nothing like that outlandish character from last year. As I walked toward her, I saw Greg come off the court and exchange a high five with her. I was amused by this friendship they had formed. I gave them another two weeks before they gave in and hit the sheets. Funny how things turned out.

“Hi, Greg. Roni.” I smiled at them both.

Greg leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Good to see you. I guess you're here for Romeo?” He nodded toward the court. Roman was standing there looking at me, still clutching the basketball in his hands.

I smirked at him. Greg had proved himself a man through this past year. I couldn't resist teasing him a little. “So, Samson, you think you found your Delilah?”

He grinned. “Naw, been there, done that. Got the strength sucked right out of me. I'm looking for a more stable sort these days.” He looked right at Roni. She hid a smile and turned her head.

I laughed. Who'd've thought anyone would refer to Roni as stable?

“Miss Joo-well! Miss Joo-well!” Chase catapulted himself out of nowhere into my arms. Like father, like son.

I hugged him tight, kissing his little cheek. I missed him as much as I missed Roman. “Hey there, Chase. You got so big. How's it going?” I stood up with him as he started to chatter in my ear. I sent a smile toward Roni and Greg. “Talk to y'all later.” I tuned in half of what the little sweetie was saying as I started toward his dad, who had yet to uproot himself from the middle of the floor. When we stood right in front of him, I stopped and gave him the old twice-over. Still made my mouth water and then go dry.

“Lookie, Daddy, it's Joo-well!”

“So it is.” A slow grin spread across his face. “Go get Daddy's bag and bring me some water, okay, Chase?”

“Sure, Daddy!” I let him slide down me and watched him run off.

“So, what brings you out?” he asked.

I reached forward and grabbed the ball out of his hands. I was doing an okay dribble action. “I thought we could talk about a little one-on-one action, player.” I swiveled and made a halfhearted move toward the basket.

He immediately started to guard me, crowding behind me and trying to reach around for the ball. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, I thought, maybe this time around, we could try to compromise. Instead of playing by my rules or your rules, we could make some up together?” I shuffled to the right.

He followed. “Sounds like an interesting game plan. But why you wanna play at all?”

“I love the game; I love the players. Everything about them, where they came from, how they got here, where they're going tomorrow. It's something I can't do without. I want to be involved in all four quarters. Why are you still on the court, Romeo?” I tried to pivot and he blocked my move.

“Well, now, I always thought this was the only game in town.”

“Some things were said and done during the last few little scrimmages,” I started.

“Things get said in the heat of competition. Crazy things get done. You can't take it all to heart. Just as long as you're loyal to the team.” He was letting me off the hook.

I went for the fast break but forgot you really can't fast break in strappy sandals with cute little heels. I proceeded to trip over my foot and started falling backward. Roman lunged to catch me, but the ball was in his way and he fell tooâright on top of me.

I grinned up at him; he smirked down at me. “Right back to where we started, huh, player?”

“Give or take a coupla feet, yeah.” He turned serious. “So, we gonna do it right this time?”

“I'm willing if you are.”

“Ah yeah, I'm willing.” He shifted on top of me. Good thing the gym was just about deserted.

“Ready and able, too, I notice.”

“Glad you noticed.” He started to lower his head.

“Hey,” I said softly.

“Yeah,
Bijou?
”

“We need a twenty-four-hour rule.”

“What is that?”

“When we have a disagreementâ”

“When we fight, um-hmm. Go ahead.”