Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling (13 page)

She wanted to spend the entire night in his arms, feeling his weight next to her, his breath against her skin. But if she did, if she forged that connection with him, she’d only be forced to take it back so she could protect him from the dangers of her past.

She would have to break his heart eventually.

And Sawyer had already lost too much.

N
othing like lying awake all night thinking about a woman…

Sawyer patted down his rumpled hair and booked it down the dirt road to the main lodge. He was late for breakfast. Mostly because he hadn’t slept much, and since his alarm had gone off, he’d been moving slower than an inebriated suspect. Just about as confused as one, too. Ruby James did that to him. He’d never thought telling her about the baby would change things. He’d only wanted to start dealing with it, like Bryce had said. And he wanted Ruby to know that he had secrets, too.

Then she’d kissed him with those plump lips, and when he’d felt her body against his, it was all over. Probably a good thing Aunt Elsie had interrupted, or he might’ve rushed things, and the way she’d kissed him said she might’ve let him. But that would’ve been a mistake. Something about Ruby was fragile. She was strong, there was no doubt about that, but fear seemed to catch up with her after a while. And if he was gonna do this—put himself out there again—he had to do it right so it didn’t go down in flames.

Something told him Ruby wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone.

Remember that
. Because when he was around her, practical reasoning wasn’t exactly his strong suit.

A text dinged from his back pocket, but he ignored it and pushed through the ranch’s main door. Bryce was probably texting to get an ETA on his arrival, seeing as how he was supposed to be there a half hour ago.

Just as he was about to turn into the lavish dining room, Aunt Elsie cruised toward him, pushing Thomas in a wheelchair.

Sawyer stopped. “They let you out already?” Hadn’t the guy just had surgery?

“Ha,” Aunt Elsie huffed. “He didn’t give them a choice. But they only discharged him after he agreed to stay in a wheelchair for a few days.”

“I don’t need a damn chair,” Thomas mumbled, his white mustache covering his top lip in old grouch’s pout. But a spark of humor still flickered in his brown eyes.

“Least you’ve got the best nurse money can buy,” Sawyer joked, enjoying the blush on Aunt Elsie’s cheeks. She was usually the one dishing out the compliments. Every once in a while it was nice to send one her way. It was true, too. She’d taken care of them all for years…

“Can’t argue with that,” the man said with a wide smile. “This broken leg routine has scored me more baked goods than I’ve had in years.” His grin turned ornery. “Might score me a kiss, too, if I’m lucky.”

Sawyer gaped at him. The man must be glutton for punishment, flirting with Aunt Elsie that way.

“Stop, you old coot.” She swatted his shoulder and shook her head like a buttoned-up librarian, except her face had flushed and he recognized the shine in her eyes.

“Can’t blame a guy for tryin’,” Thomas said in his jovial baritone.

Aunt Elsie cleared her throat extra loud. “And what about you, Sawyer, dear?”

“Huh?” Now it was his turn to blush. She hadn’t said anything while she’d served them tea last night, but just how much had she seen when she’d pulled into the driveway and caught Ruby in his lap, his hands up her shirt?

“Are you joining us for breakfast?” she asked, easing Thomas toward the dining room.

“Oh.”
Whew.
Maybe she hadn’t seen anything. “Yeah. I’m right behind you.” He followed her across the sitting room and past the stone fireplace that rose up all the way to the vaulted ceiling.

Everyone else was already there. Well, except for Ruby, he couldn’t help but notice. He’d been waiting to see her again for about nine hours now.

“Good morning!” Aunt Elsie greeted the kids and wheeled Thomas to the end of the table. Most of them jumped up and ran over to give the man a hug.

“Good to see you!”

“So glad you’re okay!”

“When can we sign the cast?”

Sawyer hung back while they took turns greeting the man who’d organized this trip for them. It was obvious Thomas had earned their trust and respect over the years. And today Sawyer hoped he could fill the man’s shoes. The swimming lesson was a great start, but they’d have to trust him completely on the high ropes course.

Brooklyn was the first one to notice him. “Sawyer!” She ran toward him, but then stopped suddenly and looked at the floor like shyness had taken over.

His heart plummeted to his gut like a stone. What had happened to her? Why was she here? Why wasn’t she at home with a mom and dad who gave her the kind of life she deserved? He sauntered over and knelt in front of her. “Morning, Brookie.”

At the sound of the nickname, the girl’s chin lifted, and her smile sparkled in her eyes.

They were innocent eyes, so round and dark it made him want to protect her forever. “Are you excited for today?” he asked. “You’re gonna love the high ropes course. It’s a rush.”

Her eyes got even wider. “Is it scary?”

Probably not nearly as scary as some of the things she’d been through. “Not at all. Ruby and I will be there the whole time.”

Brooklyn’s smile returned. “Where
is
Ruby? I’ve been waiting to see her all morning!”

Yeah. He could relate.

“I haven’t seen her, but I have a pretty good idea where she’s hiding.” He’d heard the pots and pans clanging in the kitchen when he’d walked in. He led Brooklyn to the table and pulled out her chair. “I’ll go check on her.”

It took every ounce of restraint not to sprint through those kitchen doors. By the time he’d made it across the room, his heart hammered hard, sending the sting of anticipation through him. God, it’d been a long time since he’d had that feeling.

He swung open the door and there she was, traipsing across the kitchen in cropped khaki pants and a tight green shirt that set off her hair. The rich scent of chocolate only made the scene more erotic.

Ruby stopped mid-step, a spatula suspended midair. Damn that coy smile on her face. How was he supposed to behave when she looked at him like that—one corner of shapely lips turned up like she had a secret?

He’d give her a secret to smile about…

“Morning, Sawyer,” she murmured.

And to think…she could’ve been saying that in his bed, bare shoulders sticking out from the wrinkled sheets, hair all tangled and sexy from a long night of not sleeping.
Thanks a lot, Aunt Elsie
. How did that woman always know when to interrupt?

“You about ready to hit the ropes course?” he asked so he could get his mind on something else.

Her cheeks glowed pink, making her look so alive. “Of course.” She pulled on oven mitts—who would’ve thought
that
could be a turn-on?—and slid a tray of massive muffins out of the oven.

Sawyer eyed the chocolate mounds of goodness. Looked like she’d added a hearty helping of chocolate chips, too. “Those kids are going to love you.” He was in danger, too. Well past the point of danger, actually.

“Hope so.” She pulled off the oven mitts and piled the muffins into a wicker basket.

Fascination weighted his jaw, but he cranked it shut. After last night everything she did managed to appear seductive.

Speaking of seductive, might be best if he mentioned that little make-out session they’d had on her porch. Had she thought about it as much him? “About last night…” What could he say? “I hope you don’t regret anything.”

Her smile softened into shyness.

“I definitely don’t regret it.” She gathered up the basket of muffins.

He stepped forward, aligning his body with hers. “Then let me take you out sometime. On a real date. Dinner. Wine.” And then wherever else that led them…

“You’re moving to Denver,” she reminded him quietly.

“Which is only four hours away. Not like it’s across the country or anything.” Sure, it wasn’t ideal to do the long-distance thing, but they could still see each other whenever he came back to visit…

“You’ll find a whole new life there, Sawyer,” Ruby said through a sigh. “Isn’t that what you want?”

It had been. His life had seemed pretty shitty a couple of months ago when he’d made the decision. “That doesn’t mean I can’t hold on to things from my life here.” He would hold on to his family. Lily. He would still find a way to be there for them, to stay connected.

Ruby’s smile faded as she skirted past him. “We should go. Don’t want to keep the kids waiting.”

Oh, no she didn’t. She wasn’t going to run from him again. He stepped in front of her, leaving distance, but also showing her he wouldn’t let her off that easy. “When can we go out?”

She took three steps, her hips swaying, until she stood directly in front of him, her lips inches from his. “Let’s get through today. Then we’ll talk about it.”

He forced his shoulders into a shrug. “Fair enough.” Damn, it was hard not to push her. But he wouldn’t. Instead Sawyer let her lead the way out to the dining room, taking in the view of her backside.

The excited chatter silenced the second they walked in, and Sawyer wasn’t sure if it was the chocolate or the way Ruby seemed to light up a room. The loving expression on her face as she greeted the kids left no doubt that she adored them.

“Morning, everyone,” she said, that slight country accent twanging. She set the basket on the table.

“Are those
chocolate
?” Javon demanded, helping himself to one of the muffins.

The rest of the kids followed suit, snatching up the muffins until the basket was empty.

“Double chocolate,” she informed them with a devious smile. “I added extra chocolate chips.”

“Delish!” The kid eyed her, his gaze lowering down her body. “You’re pretty delish, too,” he said with that boyish smirk of his. Sawyer was tempted to tell Javon to lay off, but he had to admit, the kid had good taste.

Ruby laughed. “And you can have another muffin.”

“These are the best!” A full bite muffled Brooklyn’s compliment.

“Don’t think anyone’s ever baked me a muffin before,” Neveah said with a smear of chocolate across her chin. “I didn’t even know you could make ’em chocolate!”

“I can make
anything
chocolate,” Ruby answered with a tempting lift of her eyebrows.

It was the first time since he’d met them that Sawyer had seen them laugh. In less than twenty-four hours, Ruby had completely won them over.

She sat in the chair next to Brooklyn, tipping her head close to the young girl’s and saying something that made them both crack up. From across the room Sawyer watched the woman pour out her warmth and generosity on those kids.

And he had never wanted any woman as much as he wanted her right then.

Ruby gawked up at the platform that had to be looming a good seventy-five feet above her head. It teetered precariously on top of a pole that had stakes poking out all the way up the sides like little hairs.

Shit.
All of a sudden she turned asthmatic. Who would’ve guessed that the high ropes course would be the perfect avenue for ingraining things like trust and teamwork to a bunch of foster kids who stood as frozen and pale as she looked?

Sawyer appeared behind her and cinched the waist strap on her harness. “Ever done a high ropes course?”

Her upper body jerked with each tug. “No. Definitely not.” Below her torso, her knees had petrified into stiff, wooden planks. She could hardly ride the chairlift up Aspen Mountain without feeling like she had to throw up. Now he expected her to climb up there with the rest of these kids and jump off the platform to gracefully seize that trapeze like she’d joined some insane circus act? She shimmied away from him and sloped her hands on her hips. Great. Her fingertips were already numb. “When I agreed to help, I didn’t realize this was part of the deal.”

He laughed like he thought she was joking. “You’ll love it.”

No. She loved being in the kitchen. On the ground. She loved losing herself in a half hour of kneading bread dough. She slid her hands down the back of her pants to wipe off the sweat. “I’m not big on heights.”

Sawyer’s neck curved to hold his head higher. Those balmy blue eyes crinkled with humor. “Trust me, Ruby. If you can dunk your head underwater, you can jump off that platform.”

“No thanks.” Her tone was sharp enough to lop off his outstretched hand. She assessed the godforsaken contraption again. “Is that thing hanging by fishing wire?”

He had the nerve to laugh again. Harder this time. Even though he must have seen how much she was sweating.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about.” He raised his hand and pointed up. “That pulley system is the safest design possible. Bryce has it inspected every year.”

“Great.”

“Besides that, I’ll be the one belaying you.” He feigned hurt in a rumple of his lips. “Don’t you trust me?”

Yes. She trusted him. But after last night he scared her almost as much as that platform. After he’d left Elsie’s house, Ruby decided that she had to put distance between them, to tell him she wasn’t interested so he’d stop pursuing her. Then she’d seen him this morning and her body flooded with longing. When he touched her, when he kissed her, reality seemed so far away. He almost made her believe that they were possible.

“I promise I won’t let you fall,” he murmured, locking her into his hypnotizing gaze.

She avoided his eyes. “It’s not you I’m worried about.” It was herself. What if she passed out halfway up the pole? What if she missed her grasp on the trapeze and fell before Sawyer had the chance to stop her? Terror inflated her heart until it ached against her ribs. “You know what? I think I’ll sit this one out. Let the kids have fun with it.”

Brushing a light touch against her shoulder, Sawyer prodded her a couple of steps away from the kids. “They won’t do this unless they watch someone else do it first.” He smiled, and it was so unfair the way that lovely mouth of his put her under a spell.

“I won’t let you fall.” That near whisper sent her heart whirling.

“You’ll be safe. I promise.”

Ha.
She was
so
not safe with him. Not when he made her feel this way. Like she could do anything, be anybody. Like she could let go of every fear.

Except one.

Around them, the shrieks and giggles and quiet gasps gained momentum. Without a promise or a decision, Sawyer winked at her and stepped back to the circle of ogling kids. “Okay, guys. We’ve already gone over the rules. All you have to do is climb to that platform and jump off to grab the trapeze.”