Heart of Steele (17 page)

A knock on the door had Steele setting her
back on her unsteady feet and calling, “Come in.”

A man she’d never seen before peeked his head
in. “Ryder just finished. You’re on in twenty.”

Steele’s body stiffened, but he nodded and
the man left.

She caressed his arm. “Do you get the jitters
before you go on stage?”

“What?” He looked at her as if he’d forgotten
she was there. “No. It’s not that. There are some things I should
have dealt with, but I don’t have the energy for it right now.” He
paced across the room.

Male voices outside the door caught Steele’s
attention and he stopped walking. Another knock sounded on the
door. “Who is it?” He didn’t sound happy.

The door swung open, the guard stepped in,
closing the door behind him. “Sir, Ryder Landry is insisting on
seeing you. I told him he was on the ‘do not allow in’ list, but he
says it’s important.”

While the guard spoke, Steele’s eyes narrowed
and his hands balled into fists. “Tell him I’ll be right out.”

“Yes, sir.” The guard stepped out and closed
the door.

“Steele?” She wanted to go to him, but his
whole body told her to keep away.

He stared at the door. “Wait here. I’ll be
right back.” As he stormed out, she could hear him breathing
hard.

What was happening? Ryder was his friend. Was
it something about the show? Or, more likely, something about a
woman. Before he’d walked out, she’d glimpsed that same anger that
had unnerved her at the cabin. She touched the white cowboy hat
sitting upside down in a box on the counter. He was one of the good
guys. The cowboy in the white hat. Wasn’t he?

After Steele left to talk to Ryder, Tracy
figured it was a good time to run up to the vending level and buy a
T-shirt to support the cause and to remind her of this night. She
slung her purse strap on her shoulder and opened the door.

The guard nodded. “Ma’am.”

“Hi. I’d like to buy a T-shirt. Which way
would I go to get to that level?”

He pointed across the busy backstage area,
down a long, dimly lit hallway. “Straight through there. At the
end, there’s an elevator. Press M. The tables will be right
there.”

“Thanks.” She took a step.

“Hang on a second.” He dug in his back
pocket. “You’ll need this to get back down here.” He gave her a
hand-sized rectangular patch with the event name and date on it,
and the word ‘backstage’ circled.

“Thank you. Can I get you anything?”

His eyebrows shot up.

“Coffee? Nachos? Mini-donuts?”

“Thank you, but no. I’m all set.”

“Okay.” She walked through the crowd then
down the empty hallway looking at doors and memorizing names so she
wouldn’t get lost on her way back.

She heard voices. Two men arguing. One of
them sounded like Steele.

“...have no fucking right to anything.” It
was
Steele.

“You keep saying that, but I don’t want
anything from you.”

She didn’t recognize the other man’s voice.
Was it Ryder? She slowed, not knowing where they were, not wanting
them to spot her. She backed up into a dark doorway.

“Then why are you always trying to get to me?
I don’t want you showing up everywhere I go.”

“You conceited asshole. You fucking backed
out of this concert when you heard I was playing, then all of a
sudden you decide to swoop down and bless everyone with your
God-almighty presence.” There was a bang, as if something hard had
been kicked or punched. “And you’re blaming me for following you?”
The man let out a bitter laugh. “Do you even hear yourself,
Steele?”

“All you need to know is, I don’t want you
around me anyplace public, I don’t want you around my family in
public, and I don’t want to have to deal with you, and this whole
shitty situation, professionally.”

“Professionally? Don’t you think it’d be
better to come out with it than have some sleazy reporter dig it
up?”

“There’s no way anyone is going to find out,
so just back the hell off.”

“Fine. I’m through trying.” His voice got
closer, and she slunk deeper into the doorway. “I’ll get out of
your life. Goodbye, bro.” His footsteps hit heavily on the concrete
as he passed by.

Shaggy dark hair, just over six feet tall, a
wiry, muscular body. She caught a glimpse of his face. Ryder
Landry. He stomped off.

What were they talking about? She couldn’t
imagine what had happened to break up their friendship in such a
horrible way. Steele had mentioned his family. Had Ryder done
something to one of them?

Slow footsteps sounded, coming her way, and
she held her breath.

Steele passed by, his head down, his body
language screamed ‘defeated.’ She could go to him, tell him she’d
overheard, and try to help him through it, but it didn’t feel
right. When he was gone, her knees shook so badly, she slid down
the door until her butt hit the floor so she wouldn’t fall.

Hearing Steele talk to a friend, a fellow
country singer, the way he had with Ryder, gave her a sick feeling
in her stomach. It had to be something that’d been going on for a
while, since Reno and Chase knew about it.

She had to end it with him. The man had a
violent side to his personality, and no one deserved to have any
kind of violence in their life; physical or emotional.

The sure knowledge that this was the right
thing to do settled the upheaval in her brain, but it also wrapped
thick and painful around her heart. She wanted him—the sweet, kind,
sexy man she’d grown to adore. Not the scary guy that came out when
he was backed against a wall, figuratively.

She’d tell him tonight on the plane ride back
to LA. She got to her feet and practiced a pretend smile. He had a
concert to perform, and she’d be there for him. One last time.

****

Steele walked past his dressing room and
found a small office that was empty. Closing the door, he pulled
out his phone. He dialed Chase Tanner and sat in the office
chair.

“Hey, buddy. Aren’t you supposed to be
playin’ your guitar right now?”

Steele planted his elbow on the desk and his
forehead in his palm. “Ryder cornered me.”

Chase was silent.

“He wanted to talk about going public with
this paternity thing.” The headache behind Steele’s eyes
intensified.

“How did that go?” Chase’s voice sounded
bleak.

“As bad as you can imagine.” He stood and
paced the small room. “I can’t deal with this right now. I’ve got
this video bullshit right on top of me, I haven’t been back at the
ranch in months, and Tracy...” She was barely willing to discuss a
future.

“What about Tracy?” His words came out
sharp.

“Seems we want different things from each
other.”

A crackle sounded over the phone. Chase had
to be smoking one of his big cigars. “Where’s the divide?”

“I want to go forward, she’s okay with ending
it.”

Chase grunted. “I knew she was a smart
girl.”

“Smart enough to see I’m a mess right now.”
He leaned back against the wall. “I can charm my way around Tracy,
I think, but Ryder’s not gonna be easy. I’m afraid he’s gonna go
public with this just for revenge.”

“Ryder’s not that way, Steele. We’ve known
him for years. You two are like gasoline and a blow torch right
now, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to make peace.”

Chase was right, but the way the kid came at
him all the time just rode hard on his last nerve. “Shit. I
overreacted. He came pounding on my dressing room door demanding to
see me, and I just wanted to...” He banged his head back against
the wall. “Why does this scare the shit out of me, Chase?”

His friend let out a long breath. “You think
that the world is going to judge you for having a half-brother that
you never knew about until a few months ago. You think that you’re
not a big enough star, a good enough singer, a talented enough
musician, and people will instantly stop buying your records when
they hear about this. You think that all the good shit you do
around the world will be forgotten by your fans when they find out
you have a half-brother. A brother you didn’t know about. A brother
who’s also an amazing musician and a do-gooder like yourself.”

Chase’s speech struck him like a mental head
slap. “I’m just too close to the whole thing. Too wrung out by the
knowledge that Dad cheated on Mom. While she sat home with me and
Val. It makes me so fucking angry, I could put my fist through a
wall."

“Don’t do it, buddy. You gotta play a guitar
in a few minutes.”

They were probably looking for him right now.
“I need to go, but thanks for listening.”

“I’ll call Ryder. See if I can calm him down,
and we can all three get together someplace.”

“Thanks.” He hefted out a breath. “You’re
pulling my tail out of the fire. Again.”

“Hey, everything will work out if you just
think a while before you open your mouth.”

“So, you’re sayin’ I’m a real asshole?”

Chase laughed. “Been sayin’ that for years,
buddy. But separate the emotions you feel surrounding your dad from
those surrounding Ryder.”

“Tough to do.” He needed a week alone. With
Tracy. “Hey, what’s this I hear about you being married?”

“All true. We’re going to announce it and
show off Joy at the movie premiere.”

“You think you can keep it quiet for three
months?”

“We’re gonna try.”

“Congratulations, man. She’s gonna be good
for you.”

“She already is.” Chase’s voice turned
soft.

“How’s the baby?”

“God, Steele. She’s so perfect. Little. Those
eyes, like looking into a mirror. Smart, and she smiles.” He
laughed. “Did any of that make sense?”

“Yeah. It’s damn great to hear you so
happy.”

“Yep. I’m a lucky man.” He paused. “Go play
some music, buddy.”

“Thanks.” They ended the call and Steele
headed back to his dressing room. Along the way, five panicked
people told him he was on stage in two minutes. The guard outside
his door pushed it open for him. “Your lady’s inside.” The man
looked in the room and smiled at Tracy.

It was the first look, other than ‘fierce,’
Steele had seen on the big guy’s face. “Thanks.” He stepped in to
find Tracy biting her thumbnail. “Ready, sugar?” His talk with
Chase helped calm him a ways, and he managed his own real smile for
her. He pulled his hat out of the box and settled it on his
head.

He caught her reflection in the mirror. She
did not look happy.

He set his phone on the counter next to his
wallet and watch. “Sorry I left you alone so long.” He held out his
hand. “Won’t happen again. Well, except for the forty minutes I’m
on stage tonight.”

She slid her hand in his and a smile wobbled
on her lips. “Don’t worry about me. I’m having fun.” Her voice
sounded off, but he couldn’t take the time to get into it right
now. He kissed her knuckles and let her go. “Sheri’s going to bring
you to a spot backstage where you can watch.” And where he could
see her.

He stepped onto the dark stage as his band
started their newest song. The spotlight hit him, and he was
Country’s Real Steele McLairn.

****

Twenty-five minutes into the set, Jeff, his
manager’s voice came through his earpiece. “Wrap it up with this
song, Steele.”

He looked off to the wing and saw one of his
assistants, Sheri, slash her hand across her neck to get him to end
his set. What the hell was going on? Oh, shit. Tracy? She wasn’t
there any longer. Had something happened to her? He ended the song
faster than usual. “Thank you for coming out to support this great
cause.” He turned toward his band. “Sorry, guys.”

They all looked confused, but Steele needed
to get to his woman. He jogged off the stage to applause spattered
with shouts of “One more song.”

He reached his assistant. “What it is?
Where’s Tracy?”

“She’s fine. You’re needed in your dressing
room.” Sheri started walking as a roadie took his guitar from him.
“Please welcome once again...” A voice boomed through the arena.
“The Dellwood Brothers.” From the other side of the stage, the trio
walked out and one of them talked to Steele’s lead guitar player.
They were going to cover for him.

His initial shock gave way to panic. What
would make Jeff pull him off stage? He ran, shouting, “Coming
through,” as he made his way across the backstage area.

The guard at his door swung it wide for him
but didn’t meet his eye. He burst into the room. His manager and
Tracy stood looking anxious. Sheri followed him in.

“What is it?” Tracy looked fine. Oh God,
Ryder? Did the kid do something stupid? If he did, it would be all
Steele’s fault.

Tracy stepped forward, holding Steele’s
phone. “We didn’t mean to intrude, but your phone kept ringing, and
Sheri came and got me, and we didn’t know what to do. Then a text
came in...”

“What is it?” He took the phone from her but
stared into her eyes.

“It was your sister. When I saw the text,
911
, I knew I needed to answer. I talked to Val.” She
grabbed his hand. “It’s your father. He’s in the hospital.”

Steele’s knees wobbled and his stomach
dropped. “What happened?”

“She was upset, but I think it’s his heart.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “It’s serious, Steele. You need to get
home right away.”

His manager and assistant started talking
about the jet, ready and waiting, the Dellwood Brothers finishing
the show, and the limo driver just being found. But Steele’s
attention was 400 miles away with his father. He had to call Val.
He had to call...Ryder. “Shit.” He turned to Sheri. “Will you go
find Ryder for me? Tell him it’s urgent.”

She looked confused for a moment, but left
the room at a full run.

His dad. He hadn’t seen him in months and had
left him running the ranch on his own. Steele should have been
there. This was his fault. What would he do if his dad died?