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Authors: Diana Richardson

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 T 
HE GREATEST INSIGHT OF TANTRA, indeed its cornerstone, is that masculine and feminine energies are equal and opposite forces. These attract and complement each other, as do yang and yin, dynamic and receptive, positive and negative (see fig. 4). This signifies that when men and women are joined in sexual union, the bio-energies of the bodies create an ecstatic sexual experience through the interplay of opposite polarities. And this happens without doing anything. In effect, the Tantric journey begins when we contact and reestablish our inherent male and female polarities. This presence of opposing polarities or forces in man and woman is crucial, since it introduces us to a whole new vision of the sex act.

Male and female polarities

Our sexual conditioning has sadly clouded our natural polarity, leaving men and women out of balance with each other. We can imagine the bodies as two magnets, which have the capacity to create an attractive magnetic field in each other's presence. Instead of the poles being shiny and bright in order to respond to each other vibrantly, our poles are smothered in rust, dust and fuzz, which interferes with the magnetic field and the flow of energy between them. Through our conditioning urging us toward orgasm, it is almost as if we have disturbed the original polarity or charge in our bodies. This cloud of disturbance now veils and obscures the male and female polarities. In other words, the effort and activity that we customarily pour into our lovemaking creates a friction-style heat, almost a screen of "over-charge" that can be likened to static electricity, which disturbs our genitals and makes the sexual energy unable to respond through polarity.

When we make love operating against the inherent polarities of the sex organs, we are unwittingly working against our own ecstatic sexual potential. Through making love
in consciousness,
we are able to purify (decondition) ourselves of this energetic disturbance, and the bodies will gradually and gratefully return to their intrinsic male and female polarities. Men begin to feel their true masculine qualities and women their genuine feminine attributes. We generally are not aware of this falsity or disturbance in our polarities because it has been our sad condition for so long, but what is apparent these days is that women are increasingly tough and manly while a great many men in turn are more macho and aggressive. Both men and women are suffering from the effects of a distressed sexual energy. We were born with this imbalance, and from the first moment we make love, unless we are guided differently, we are reinforcing it.

Reeducating ourselves about sex

There has been so little guidance on sex for centuries. In asking my women clients how much information they were given about menstruation as girls, the answer again and again is none. No information whatsoever. Many were given the appropriate paraphernalia well before the event, and that was it. This is a monthly experience for a woman, inextricably linked to sex and reproduction, yet we receive little or no guidance. As a parent, what do you truthfully know about sex that you could pass on to your son or daughter? Most men and women have received absolutely no information about this core aspect of their lives. I was in the same boat, and once I decided to reeducate myself, it took me quite some time and commitment to regain the sensitivity I had unknowingly lost. I had to learn how to relax and "be here" while making love, rather than be interested in "doing" and going "there" toward orgasm.

The essential step for me was to acknowledge my polarity and fall increasingly into it. I focused on how to become more "negative" and passive, so to speak, more allowing, more receptive, more conscious, and it surprised me to find my man becoming more "positive," more dynamic, more vital, more "here." This was not the same kind of positive I had known formerly, where lovemaking could be described as a pushing hard linear event, creating a peak of energy. It was almost the opposite, like the inverting of a peak, a bottoming out. It was something new and different, deeply touching, circular, ecstatic, unimaginably joyful. Whenever I fell back into my peak and release pattern, I would feel frustrated, irritable, incomplete, and no longer close to my lover.

I slowly learned that this new "style" of lovemaking gave my life meaning, a spiritual quality that I had been searching for in other ways. I felt as if I had arrived at a restful fireside after a long time wandering in the wilderness. I gradually discovered that love was strengthened through an inner focus, rather than an outer focus, and that it depended more on me, and my consciousness, than on him. In this way suddenly everything was back in my own hands, and I began to see that I was entirely responsible for the quality of love in my life. When I made love consciously I noticed that I was much more loving and lovable.

Loving in a magnetic field

Male energy represents positive and female energy the negative, counterparts of a single phenomenon. Each half alone is incomplete; it is only through each other they exist. However, it is important to understand that each polarity, either negative or positive, contains its very own complementary opposite pole (see fig. 4). The man, while essentially positive, also has an inner negative pole (an inner woman), and the woman who is essentially negative, contains a balancing inner positive pole (an inner man).

In this way both are independent of each other, a unit unto themselves, each with an inner positive or negative. This gives each body the potential to create and circulate energy within itself. The male body is carrying the positive pole in the genitals and the negative pole in the chest and heart area. The female, in natural opposition, carries the positive pole in her breasts and heart and the negative pole in her genitals. Between this positive and negative a magnetic field results, and the sexual energy is enabled to stream and spiral upward through the body. This magnetic field between the two opposite poles is called the "rod of magnetism"
{see
fig. 5).

When these two "magnetic rods" are in the presence of each other a powerful magnetic field is created between the bodies. Joined in full-bodied sexual union they are meeting at their opposite poles, an "electrical" circuit is completed. Male energy flows from the penis into the vagina and up toward the woman's heart. The female energy responds through the breasts by penetrating the heart of the man and flowing downward to his sex center. A complete unit is created and the circulating bio-energies have the power to generate flickering light. With this circuit complete the electricity passes back and forth from man to woman with active and passive phases, man becoming woman and woman becoming man. It is a divine bio-electricity which long preceded the modern invention and Tantra refers to this phenomenon as "the circle of light"
(see
fig. 6). This powerful polarity effect represents the highest potential of man and woman together, as a spiritual force through which it is possible to penetrate the mysteries of life.

This information about polarities must be drawn into our lovemaking in a very practical way. Since body energy flows, not unlike electricity, from positive to negative, it is the
positive
poles of the male and female bodies that need to be awakened to initiate the deeper movement of sexual energy. The importance of this approach is signified by Tantra calling the penis and breasts the "positive poles of love." They are the source of all life, semen from men, milk from women. Treating them as such during foreplay and sex makes all the difference to the quality of sexual energy generated.

Generating sexual energy through polarity

This means in practical terms, that for a woman the breasts are infinitely more important than her vagina. However, our usual approach in lovemaking and foreplay, which consists of touching and stimulation, is to place all the emphasis on both sexual organs. We think about getting these two together as soon as possible, and sex usually proceeds as soon as the man has an erection and well before the woman is sexually awakened. For a man the penis is his positive/dynamic pole and it is ever-ready. However, for a woman, this is her passive/negative/receptive pole, which is not ever-ready. The focus is inadvertently placed on the penis and the vagina, the organs of love, when we should instead be focusing on the positive poles of love. This approach is extremely common, but in terms of female body energy there is a serious misunderstanding, and this ignorance lies at the source of our great dissatisfaction in sex.

Men and women are tremendously frustrated (even enraged) through the inability to generate sexual energy through polarity.

When attention in foreplay is given to a woman's clitoris and genital area it is energetically ineffective even if exciting. She cannot become deeply sexually aflame because her genitals are of secondary importance as far as her inner body polarity is concerned. To invite her bio-energy response, the positive pole, her breasts and nipples must be engaged, and her heart warmed. The love and energy built up here in the positive pole resonates and overflows naturally, showering warmth, receptivity, and willingness into the vagina, thus awakening the passive pole.

The organ of love cannot be ready until the positive pole of love is included in the picture. This true awakening of the vagina introduces what could be described as "electrical potential" between the penis and vagina, when upon penetration (or at any time later) suddenly the male energy floods into the circuit as a thrilling current of life force. It is a completely different experience of sex. When loving emphasis is placed upon her breasts prior to penetration, the readiness for sex is there, both physically and psychologically, and this is very important. The man will immediately sense that the woman is with him, on his side, moving in rhythmic unison. There will be a feeling of oneness with a deep bodily yes from her, and he won't have to fight for his love, or she struggle to give it. It is true sexual union.

Making love in this way, utilizing polarity, begins the process of establishing a powerful energy field between and within two bodies. Bio-electricity flowing within this magnetic field follows a spiral path, and this explains why the movement of the famed serpent power—the kundalini energy, located at the base of the male spine—will be experienced as a forceful unfolding, jerking, rising snake. In complementary style, the root of the female kundalini energy lies not in the spinal base as mistakenly believed, but in the breasts. This is so because energy cannot be raised from a negative center. Once the breasts and heart of a woman are fully resonant, this snake will implode, gracefully unwinding and giving way within. Through the bio-electricities, lovemaking can move to previously unexperienced heights as the energy connects and vibrates deep within the bodies and souls. We are enabled to love passionately as the body electricity takes over, a sense of timelessness pervades, each moment ecstatic and orgasmic, something we may have only dreamed about. Then the delights of lovemaking will grow, since there is no end to polarity, only the possibility of more and more light.

BOOK: Heart of Tantric Sex
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