Heart of the Matter (22 page)

“Hey, I thought you’d be out with Sandra.” Kate took a bag from Ellen.

“Thanks,” Ellen murmured, embarrassed at being caught in her sweats. Cleaning house was a way of working through her sadness, but this time it hadn’t helped. “Dinner was cancelled.” Kate held the door for her as they headed out the back of their building and tossed the trash bags into the Dumpster. “Oh,” she replied.

“In fact, I cancelled Sandra altogether.” Kate’s step faltered. “Excuse me?”

“I realized Sandra wasn’t someone I was interested in long-term. There was no point in taking it any further.” They reentered the building and rode the elevator together in silence. Ellen could smell the alcohol on Kate and wondered if she had been drinking alone or with someone. When the elevator stopped on their floor, she thought she saw Kate grab the wall for support. She had obviously had a little too much to drink, so Ellen instinctively reached for her arm to steady her as she stepped out of the elevator.

Kate glanced down at Ellen’s hand on her arm. It burned where Ellen touched it, and Kate felt the sensation travel up her shoulder and spread throughout her body. She knew the alcohol hadn’t caused the feeling, because it hadn’t been there a moment ago. It was Ellen, all Ellen. She had that effect on her, and Kate leaned closer, aching for more. What was it Ellen had said out by the Dumpster? She wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship? Kate shook her head to clear her thinking. No, she said she wasn’t interested in Sandra long-term.

Did that mean she eventually wanted
someone
long-term?

“Well, here we are,” Ellen said as they approached Kate’s door.

She risked rubbing Kate’s arm with her thumb, luxuriating in the delectable skin. But what she really wanted was to slide her hand around Kate’s neck and pull her into a searing kiss. Instead, she simply let go.

“Ellen?” Kate called to Ellen’s retreating back.

Ellen swung around. Something in Kate’s eyes spoke more to Ellen than anything Kate could have said. It was pure want, and Ellen felt it rush through her body like a tidal wave, the undertow dragging her forward. She felt herself moving into Kate without conscious effort, as though the floor, instead of her own two feet, moved her. Suddenly they were in each other’s arms, and from that moment on she had no thought. It was all primal and raw, and even if she had wanted to stop, she couldn’t have. Somehow they were in Kate’s condo, and before she knew it, they were in bed, undressed, and Kate was inside her. She was all skin and wet and hot, and she didn’t know where her body ended and Kate’s began. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced and she never wanted it to end.

She felt the cataclysm in her body radiate outward and somehow, from some distant vantage point, knew that Kate too was coming against her, and they were one.

Ellen awoke in the dark, disoriented and for a moment unsure where she was. But the feel of Kate pressed into her back, her arm flung over Ellen’s hip, reassured her and she sighed contentedly.

What they had wasn’t just sex. She knew they had moved on to something much deeper. Now what the hell would she do? Kate was on her way to London and probably wouldn’t be back. Could she tell her not to go? Could she ask Kate to give it all away for a chance with her? If the situation was reversed, would Ellen give up her job for London? And just what was Kate thinking, what did she want?

Her head hurt from trying to find solutions so quickly.

“Are you awake?”

Ellen rolled over. “Yes.”

Kate’s hand slid up to Ellen’s waist and nestled in the deep curve.

“So you dumped Sandra, huh?”

Ellen struggled to keep the grin off her face. “Yes,
I
dumped
her
.”

“She didn’t deserve you.”

Kate’s hand danced lazily across Ellen’s belly, slowly finding its way downward. Ellen closed her eyes and luxuriated in the sensations that coursed through her. Unbelievably, she was ready again and opened to Kate without reservation.

Something shifted inside Kate. The emptiness, the black hole that had always existed within her evaporated, and the missing piece that belonged there filled it. She took a deep breath and felt… happy.

The interview in Atlanta had gone well, and the staff there wanted Kate to meet and talk with the people in London immediately so she could see the operation firsthand. She was nervous and excited but had a lingering sense of sadness. She knew it had to do with Ellen, because she couldn’t stop thinking about her.

She had returned home the previous night after being in Atlanta nearly a week, and hadn’t seen Ellen. She was anxious about leaving that evening for London and worried that she wouldn’t see Ellen before then. Ellen’s newspaper had resumed home delivery and had been picked up, so she knew Ellen was still home and not on the road. Perhaps she was avoiding her, which was just as well. Kate was never comfortable with good-byes, and even though she’d be returning in a couple of days, this time apart could very well be the precursor to a permanent relocation.

Downing the last of her scotch, she took one last look around, making sure she had turned all the lights and appliances off. If she did wind up moving, the condo would be the last thing she would miss about DC. It had never felt like home—more like a place to dump her stuff and sleep. She would miss Ellen, though. Something about Ellen’s space made her feel at home, but more important, something about Ellen made her feel at home.

She grabbed the handle of her Tumi luggage and wheeled it out into the hallway, tossing her other bag over her shoulder. After closing her door and locking it, she walked to Ellen’s and stopped, then knocked rapidly and waited for a response. When she didn’t get one, she pressed her ear closer, trying to hear any movement inside.

Finally, she gave up and reached into her bag for a notepad and pen.

She scribbled a quick note and slipped it under Ellen’s door, then pressed the elevator button. She was disappointed that she’d not seen Ellen before she left, but she’d be back soon and maybe they could have dinner one night. Maybe, if the mood was right—a little wine, some jazz—Ellen might take her to bed one last time.

❖

Ellen trudged home from the dry cleaners, nearly two miles from home. Her car was in the shop having its fifty-thousand-mile checkup, and since she hadn’t taken it in until late in the day, it wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow. She supposed she could have called a cab, but it was such a pleasant evening, and she was determined to exercise more to accompany her diet. This time she was serious about losing weight.

She was about halfway home when her cell phone rang, and she glanced at the caller ID to see her sister’s cell number. “Hi, Joan,” she said, switching the dry cleaning to her other arm.

“Oh, Ellen,” Joan sobbed into the phone.

“What on earth is wrong?” Ellen was instantly on alert. She hadn’t heard her sister cry like that since they were kids.

“It’s Dad. Ellen, you have to come now.” She broke into tears again.

Ellen’s heart momentarily stopped beating and she leaned against a streetlight for support. “What happened, Joan? What’s going on? Talk to me, dammit.”

She could hear her sister blowing her nose into a handkerchief and sniffling before she returned to the phone.

“He collapsed a little while ago. The ambulance is taking him to Inova Hospital, and I’m driving Mom there now. You’ve got to hurry!”

The pain in Ellen’s chest was almost too much, but she needed to calm Joan. “Okay, I’ll get there as soon as I can. But you need to pull yourself together, if not for your sake, at least for Mom’s. Who’s in the car with you?”

“Me, Mom, and the kids. Robert is in Chicago.” She blew her nose again.

“Shit,” Ellen murmured, trying to figure out what to do.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. My car’s in the shop, that’s all. But don’t worry. I’ll call a friend and either borrow her car or have her drive me. I’ll get there as quick as I can.”

She hung up and autodialed Linda and Janice’s home number, but their voicemail picked up immediately. When she dialed Linda’s cell, Linda picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, girl, what’s happening?”

“Sorry, Linda, but I don’t have time to chat. My dad has just been taken to the hospital and my car is in the shop.”

“My God, Ellen. What can I do to help?”

“Can you drive me to Alexandria, or let me borrow your car?” Linda groaned. “Oh, honey, I wish I could, but Janice and I managed to get away for a long weekend. We’re in Rehoboth Beach right now.”

“Damn!”

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Ellen reassured her. “I’ll find another way.”

“Call me when you know something. I’ll leave the phone on all night.”

The lump in Ellen’s throat barely let her speak. “Thanks, I will.”

She kept walking, trying to think of what to do next. The hospital was miles from the nearest Metro stop. Getting a cab seemed to be her only hope, but she knew the drive wouldn’t be cheap and she didn’t have enough cash on her. She turned the corner to her street and was surprised to run into Kate coming out of the building.

“Kate.”

“Ellen. I stopped by to let you know I was going out of town, but obviously you weren’t there.”

Just seeing Kate standing in front of her, after days of not having even spoken to her, opened the floodgates for Ellen. The stress of her father’s illness and now the emotions associated with Kate all blended into a maelstrom of feeling, and the tears poured out despite her best efforts to hold them in.

Shocked by Ellen’s reaction, Kate dropped her bags and threw her arms around her, holding her close. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d be so upset about my going to London for a few days.” Ellen’s sobs increased and Kate held her tight.
Wow. Maybe I
underestimated her feelings for me.

Finally Ellen managed to get a breath. “No, it’s not that,” she sniffed. “I’m a wreck, that’s all. My father has been taken to the hospital and my car is in the shop, so I don’t have a way to get to Alexandria. Can I borrow your cab and some cash? I’ll pay you back.”

Kate’s ego deflated a bit, but her concern for Ellen’s father outweighed the pinprick. She gestured toward the man who had approached them, yet maintained a respectful distance.

“I’ll give you anything you need, but I didn’t call for a cab. My friend Sergei here has rented a car and was going to take me. Besides you, he’s the only one I trust behind the wheel in DC. Sergei, can you can drive Ellen to Alexandria instead?” Sergei bowed, his eyes lighting up at the mention of her name.

“I would drive her into the jaws of hell if that is where she wished to go.”

“Well, between here and Alexandria you may just have to do that,” Kate replied.

“But what about your flight to London?” Ellen dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her suit from the dry-cleaning bag.

Kate hesitated only a moment. “Screw it, I’ll grab another flight. This is more important.”

The grateful look Ellen gave her almost made her melt. She took Ellen’s hand and, without thinking, kissed it. The contact reconnected her with Ellen in a way she hadn’t felt in days, and she refused to let go.

“Ladies?” Sergei had opened the back door of the car and stood waiting.

Kate tossed her luggage into the trunk and climbed in next to Ellen, allowing Sergei to play chauffeur. The entire ride to Alexandria she continued to hold Ellen’s hand, reassuring her through touch, but also needing to reassure herself.

Sergei ran red lights and passed cars on two-way streets. More than once Ellen closed her eyes as the door handles of their car nearly scraped the door handles of the cars he passed.

“Uh, Sergei, how did you ever get a driver’s license in this country?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“What driver’s license?” He glanced over the front seat at her with a genuine look of puzzlement.

They sped across the Fourteenth Street Bridge, Ellen giving directions once they were on the other side of the Potomac.

Fortunately the hospital was just off Interstate 395, and when Sergei dropped them at the emergency room entrance, they ran inside and asked at the desk where Ellen’s father was.

“He’s in surgery now,” the nurse told them after scanning her list. She directed them to the family waiting room, and they walked up just as a surgeon was leaving.

Still holding Ellen’s hand, Kate hesitated outside the room.

“Perhaps I should wait out here.”

Ellen shook her head. “No, come with me, please.” Kate nodded and pushed open the door to the waiting room.

Ellen was so relieved to find her mother laughing and Joan smiling that she was momentarily light-headed from the sudden swing of emotions. Joan’s children were sitting on orange plastic chairs, playing tug-of-war with a magazine they both wanted to read.

“What is it?” she managed to ask.

“Diverticulitis.” Her mother sniffed through her tears. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Thank God,” Ellen said weakly, holding onto her mother for support. “When can he go home?

“Not for a while,” Joan replied. “They have to keep him to guard against infection, but he should be able to go home in a week at the most.”

Ellen shook her head. “Oh, he’s not going to like that one bit.”

“He’ll have to,” her mother said firmly. “I’ll make sure of it.” Joan took Ellen by the arm and led her to a corner of the room.

“What’s
she
doing here?” Joan whispered angrily.

Ellen glanced over her shoulder. “
She
is missing a flight to London because of me.
She
and her friend drove me here, and if it hadn’t been for them I’d probably still be in the city.”

“I can’t believe you’d bring that woman in here, at a time like this. At least take Mom’s feelings into consideration.”

“I intend on introducing her to Mom,” Ellen snapped, her temper wearing thin now that the crisis was over. “Just exactly what is your problem with Kate?”

“Well, for starters she’s scaring my children.” Ellen laughed. “Hell, Joan. Your children are probably scaring
her
.”