Over the years, he had kept up with her life through his contact with Bobby. And tailing her over the last four months, he began to really notice her as a woman, not the gangly teenager he grew up with. She managed her money well, had a place to call her own, and had an arsenal of good friends around. He would probably never tell her this, because although he was damn proud of all she had accomplished, it stung just a little that he had not been part of her adult life.
Through his observations, he did note that she didn’t have a man around. Kendall didn’t depend on a man for stability or protection. She could take care of herself. She always had. And, while taking care of her own needs, she had a natural instinct to help others. Her caring spirit showed in her willingness to help him and Bobby start up their business. That same sweet spirit scared him away in high school. What he wouldn’t do now to have a chance to change that. He could hang on to the hope that one day he would find a woman like Kendall to come home to.
“What’s on your mind?” she asked softly.
“Nothing,” his voice came out rougher than he intended. Normally when a problem arose that he couldn’t handle on his own, he would call Bobby and Marks. Between the three of them, and several pitchers of beer, they could solve the world’s problems. This time it was personal, and he wasn’t ready to discuss the issue with his two best friends. One of whom would not like the idea of Mason having a relationship with Kendall.
“So, tell me, why is it that some lucky man hasn’t snatched you up?” He knew she dated men off and on, although he never got wind that she was seriously involved with anyone. And since he had been back in New Orleans, he hadn’t seen her go out on a date with anyone.
At the sudden change of subject, Ken began plucking at the threads on the sofa. She rearranged the pillows, then with shaky hands, poured them each another glass of wine. He didn’t think she was going to answer him.
Touchy subject
.
When she did finally answer, it was not what he expected to hear.
“You know me. Always independent. Don’t need the hassle of trying to please an impossible man.” She went to the refrigerator and pulled out a tray of fresh fruit to go along with their wine. Carrying the tray back to the sofa, she paused long enough to kick her sandals off before tucking her feet under her and settling on the couch.
“All men are not impossible.” Mason defended his gender.
“Sure. I guess you’re one of those men who’s not? Is that why you’re still single?”
With narrowed eyes, he watched as she drained the remains of another glass of wine. Four years ago when they had seen each other last, he’d screwed things up. He’d walked away from her and couldn’t blame her for not returning his calls. For shutting him out. He deserved that for the way he treated her. But that was four years ago. If he played his cards right, he may have another chance. What was it about this woman that every time he was around her, he wanted more? Not for himself, but for her. He wanted to give her everything she deserved. And more.
Hooking a finger under her chin, he tilted her head up so he could look down into her eyes. “Guess I just haven’t found the right woman yet,” he whispered. He leaned in a little closer. Close enough to smell her sweet scent and hear her breath hitch behind her lips. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth then released it.
A shadow of loneliness crossed her face. Would she let him be the one to wipe that desolation away and replace it with joy? He groaned before he pulled away and walked over to the fireplace. He ran a hand over his face. Neither spoke. The air between them sizzled with frustration.
Finally, she broke the silence. “Okay Mason, what’s going on? You’re here one minute and gone the next. Something has you preoccupied.” Hesitantly she asked, “Or is it my company?”
His gaze focused on her hands nervously twirling the wine glass. He looked up to find her staring into her glass, watching the amber liquid swirl about. She would not look up at him.
How could she even think her company could be less than ideal?
“No, it’s not you. You know, I miss how we used to talk about anything and everything when we were in school.” Back then, he wouldn’t have hesitated to confide in her, which he had done on more than one occasion. Sometimes he felt closer to her than to her brother. It was so easy opening his heart to her back then. Or maybe it was the fact that she unknowingly held the key to his heart, even though as teenagers she considered him no more than a best friend.
She must’ve sensed something was not right. She motioned for him to sit beside her. The second he sat, she grabbed his good hand. “Mason, you can talk to me. I know it’s been years since we’ve seen each other, but we’re still friends.”
He sucked in a ragged breath before trying to begin. “Remember that phone call I received outside of Bobby’s the other day?” He waited for her nod before continuing. “It was about my mother.” He paused to take a drink, fully aware of Kendall’s intent gaze on him.
His gut tightened. His emotions were still too raw. The fact that his mother wanted anything to do with him now had his nerves skittering around like jumping beans. It was like a knife had been jabbed in his back and left there for him to bleed out.
“Mason, what is it?”
“She was in a car wreck and is in the hospital in Beaumont.”
“Oh my God. Is she all right? Was she hurt badly?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I talked to the doctor. She’s going to be okay, but I’m not sure how long her recovery will be.”
“Well, you need to go see her. Maybe it’s time to make things right. I hope she gets better soon.”
The genuine concern and comfort in her voice flipped a switch inside his head. All of his emotions boiled into anger. She could never understand the fury that he felt toward his mother.
“I went to see her, but she was totally sedated. Didn’t even know I was there. I haven’t made my mind up to go see her again now that the doctor says she is awake. I don’t think it will make a difference either way.”
“How can you say that? She’s obviously calling out to you. This could open a whole new door in your relationship.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” He stood again, paced back and forth in front of the sofa, and then stopped to stand in front of the window. Darkness was setting outside. “I see you’re still trying to make things right, Kendall. You always see the good in everything and everybody. Sometimes people aren’t good. My mother is not good.”
His voice broke. Admitting that tore him apart. It felt like someone took hold of his guts and twisted. All his life he longed for a mother to be there for him. To hold him and soothe away his childhood hurts. To listen to his teenage dreams, help him make the right choices in life. His friends had mothers at home. Mrs. Reed was always there for her children. Hell, she was even there for him, but it wasn’t the same as having a mother of his own.
It was unfair to lash out at Kendall, but he didn’t know what else to do. His life was turning upside down. His mother, the case against Tom, the feelings he had for Kendall.
In Kendall’s world things were always right side up. When something tilted, she hung on for the ride until it smoothed out again. Just like this incident with her boss. He tried to kill her, yet Ken picked herself up and got on with her life. She knew how to deal with life, no matter the outcome. He, on the other hand, didn’t know where to begin. He handled his life fairly well, but when it came to dealing with his mother, he was at a loss. And to top that off, he wanted Kendall and knew that right now he was not the man for her.
“Mason, of course she is good. She may have made a few mistakes in her life, but she is still your mother.”
His throat suddenly felt tight. He didn’t want to look in her eyes and see pity. That would be his final undoing. “I made a mistake coming here tonight.” He set the wine glass down on the coffee table and turned to leave.
“Wait.” She reached the door before him. “Please, talk to me.”
She blocked his way. He would have to move her to get out of the door. Considering how petite she was, that wasn’t an issue. He placed his hand on her shoulder and nudged. Her strength surprised him. She didn’t budge. Instead, her hands cradled his face. She turned his head until their eyes met. It wasn’t pity he saw there. Her brown eyes lit with caring, compassion, and something else.
With his free hand, he circled the back of her neck and eased her to him. Seconds before his lips locked onto hers, he saw the surprise in her eyes, and heard her soft intake of breath. At first, her body was unresponsive. He gently ran his tongue back and forth until her lips parted. He plundered her soft, sweet mouth. She tasted of Moscato.
He tugged her closer. His body caught on fire when her arms snaked around his back to hold him tighter. His lips left a trail from her mouth to the erratic pulse beating in her neck. Her head tilted sideways to give him full access. Slowly, he kissed his way back to the sweet insides of her mouth. He sipped at her lips. Her soft moan drove him crazy, or had that come from him?
He wanted more. But he knew now was not the time, or the place. Unwillingly, he tore his lips from hers. Her brown eyes popped open the second contact was broken.
“What the hell did you do that for?” Her bewildered expression irritated him. Did she mean the kiss, or the fact that he stopped?
“I think you know why. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?” He took a step away from her, moving closer to the door.
“Wha... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her hand circled her throat and rubbed. This wasn’t the first time he noticed the gesture. Every time she got nervous or angry, she rubbed at her throat.
“I think you do. You know there could never be anything between us. And why is that, Kendall? Because I never fit into your perfect world?” He placed his hand on her cheek and tilted her head up with his thumb. He needed to look deep into her eyes. Eyes swimming with confusion and irritation. “Do you want me to kiss you again?” he asked softly.
“I, um,” she stammered. Her soft tongue circled her lips. A clear invitation to take her again. “No, I don’t think so.”
He smirked as he turned to leave. Maybe he had been a fool to kiss her.
The ringing of her cell phone interrupted their actions. Kendall backed away to answer the call.
“Hello.” She took a step further into the room, her back to Mason. “Hello, who is this?”
She quickly glanced over her shoulder as if to see if he were still there. In that brief instant, he saw the faint glimmer of fear in her eyes. Her right hand circled her throat, rubbing.
She didn’t speak, only listened. Whoever was on the other end of the line was making Kendall nervous. After a moment, she flipped the phone closed and tossed it on the end table. Unsteady eyes searched until they made contact with his. “Wrong number.” She mumbled, then averted her gaze. Slowly she walked to where he still stood at the front door.
“Everything okay?” His eyes bore into hers, searching for the truth behind the phone call.
“Yeah, fine. Like I said, must’ve been a wrong number.” She opened the door. Her voice lost its fire. “Goodnight Mason.”
He stepped outside. His gut tightened. Something was wrong. His instincts told him to stay, but his mind told him it was past time he left. He didn’t draw a full breath until the door closed between them.
Old insecurities crept into his thoughts as he made his way to his Tahoe. He wasn’t good enough for her. That thought kept him from dating her in high school; it would do the same now.
Her family was all about commitment and security. Family meant everything to them. Since his mom left when he was just ten years old, he had no real family. Sure, his dad raised him, although he always had a whiskey bottle in his hand. Mason could never offer Kendall the stability a good husband should. And family, well, he could never be the kind of father he had craved growing up. A man like Mr. Reed. The kind of father a child deserved. He glanced back at the closed door before jumping into his Tahoe and driving away.
****
The days flew by in a blur as Kendall devoted her time and attention to getting her accounting business up and running. She acquired several accounts and had a few more potential prospects. Bobby assured her that soon he and Mason would need her services.
That meant she would have to face Mason again. Since he stormed out of her house that night, she hadn’t seen or heard from him. Which was probably a good thing, since, according to her brother, Mason had been in a terrible mood lately. And since that mind-blowing kiss, her own emotions had been in turmoil.
Why had he done that? Why had she enjoyed it so much?
She flipped through several reports, checked her email, and caught up on some filing. All while trying to keep thoughts of a particular dark-haired, blue-eyed hunk out of her mind. When a headache started right behind her eyes from staring at the screen too long, she turned off the computer. Picking up her phone, she dialed her sister’s cell. Mandy’s cheery voice answered on the second ring.
“Hey sis, what’s up?”
“It’s a shame to waste a beautiful Saturday on work. How about we go grab some lunch and a movie?” Kendall treasured the close relationship the two of them shared. It hadn’t always been like this because of their eleven year age difference. Mandy was already married and had a child by the time Kendall reached high school. Over the years they made up for lost time.
Mandy’s husband was killed in the line of duty, leaving her with a small child to raise on her own. Mourning the loss of a husband, and one of NOPD’s finest, Mandy went through several months immersed in a deep depression. Long, lonely nights filled with nightmares. Kendall was a teenager at the time, but she had been there for her sister from the beginning. She helped during the day by babysitting Tori while Mandy went to school to become an interior decorator. Kendall walked with her every step of the way. The sisters bonded for life during that time and now, years later, they remained close.
“Girl, you are on. I’ll be there in an hour.”