Hello Loved Ones (26 page)

“How do you know why I’m here?”

“Ritchie Van Sloeten, right? His son came in for him.”

“Lenny? Are you sure?”

“How many more of you are there? Just so’s I can mark my calendar.” He laughed.

Lenny and her father, together? There had to be a mistake. Her dad could have other sons, maybe an army of them, from countless different women.

“What did the kid look like?” she asked.

“Tall. Scrawny. Wore a bandana and a mean scowl.”

That was Lenny all right.

“He wasn’t carrying a baseball bat, was he?” She imagined Lenny charging in, swinging away like a madman. But there was no sign of trouble here. And the bartender wouldn’t be acting so casual if there had been a fight.

“Not that I could see.”

She hesitated, afraid to ask. “Where did they go?”

“Didn’t say. If you want I’ll tell him you were here.”

She shook her head. Now what? It should be simple. Go find Lenny. But she had a sinking feeling, like she’d just waded into quicksand. Like the faster she moved, the faster she’d be pulled under. What was she going to find out?

“Hey. What you want with him?”

She took in the dismal surroundings. What did she want? A father who hung out in a place like this?

“Just wanted to catch up. You know, on old times.” It was a ridiculous, old-lady thing to say.

She hurried out, squinting in the glare of the sun, and threw herself into the car.

“I’ve got to get home.”

“What’s the matter?”

“My dad’s been with
Lenny
.”

“I thought you all hadn’t seen him for 10 years.”

“I don’t know what’s going on. Just go!”

“What about the beach?”

“I can’t. I’ve got to find Lenny.”

Cash made a sound of disgust. “This has turned out to be one hell of a wild goose chase. You couldn’t have talked to Lenny about this before we went chasing all over?”

“I did talk to him. Sort of.” She was thinking of his birthday, just a few days ago, when she told him about mailing her letter.
He’ll never write back
, he’d said. So sure. It came at her like a kick in the gut.
He knew.

“Can you get me home?”

“You’re awfully bossy.”

She sighed. “Listen, Cash. I’m sorry. We’ll go to the beach some other time.
Please
.” She motioned for him to hurry up.

“
I
want to go today. You said we’d go.”

What a child! She turned on him.

“Do you have any idea what I’m going through? My dad is with my
brother!
You know, the one who’s always talking about how much he hates him and how he’ll beat his head in if he ever sees him again. My mother has been lying to me, and—oh, can’t you see? It’s like everyone is in some secret plot against me!”

“Jeez. Calm down.”

“Then stop being such an asshole.”

“Right. I’m the asshole. I spend my whole morning driving you around, wasting my time, and I’m the asshole. Anyway, you said we’d go to the beach, so it looks like you’re a liar.”

“Circumstances have changed. I have to get home. Go to the beach by yourself.”

“Damn right I will.”

“Fine.” She wouldn’t be bullied. She stuck her chin out and ignored him as he snorted and huffed and threw the car into gear. When she stole a glance at him she saw that he was playing the same game, his jaw thrust out like a tough guy. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want to go to the beach. She knew it was what the cool kids did. But she didn’t have the energy for him anymore. Not now.

When they pulled up in front of her house, Cash didn’t look at her. Abruptly he leaned across her—
for a hug?
she wondered, because it was just the kind of backwards, unpredictable thing he’d do— but he grabbed the door handle and pushed hard.

“Better go find daddy.”

Her cheeks burned as she climbed out. “Don’t you want to...” she began, but the car peeled away, kicking up a shower of gravel. She felt it sting against her ankles. Then came the sting of tears. What did she do wrong? Why was everyone in such a hurry to lie to her, or leave her in the lurch? She was likeable, she
was
. And deserving. Only no one seemed to notice.

As she walked up the sidewalk to her front steps, she counted. One. Two. Three. It was a habit she got from her mother, who always told her to count her blessings.
When there’s trouble ahead, count it out.

One.
I’m home, safe and sound
.

Two.
I had my first kiss!

Three.
I’m not starving in Africa.

It was no use. This time there was too much trouble ahead. She eased open the door, believing for one split second that the house might be empty. Maybe her mother thought Sally had gone to Bible School early. She’d be at work like usual. Nell would still be at her crossing guard orientation, and Lenny, the one she most needed to see, didn’t live with them anymore. But her mother wasn’t stupid, and Nell lived for moments like this, when she could help bring the hammer down on Sally.

Steeling herself, she stepped inside and came face to face with Pastor Voss. She blinked, surprised. Then groaned. Was she going to have to live in the church basement too?

“Prudy, she’s here!” She heard relief in his voice. Her mother rushed out from the kitchen with Lenny and Nell right behind. There was a pinched look on their faces that relaxed when they saw her. Wow. They were really scared for her. She hadn’t expected that.

“Where were you?” her mother asked, her eyes raw.

She heard Nell say
Thank God!
And from Lenny something about Cash. She looked at him.
Liar.
At her mother.
Liar.
And why hadn’t it occurred to her before?
Nell
could have written the letter. Sally no longer trusted any of them.

Her mother gave her a shake. “Where were you?” she repeated.

“Looking for my dad.”

“Are you
crazy?
”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked Lenny. “You’ve seen him and you didn’t tell me!”

He glared at her. “Who knew you were going to go running off?”

“Did you go to Kalamazoo?” her mother cried. “Is that where you were?”

Sally was silent.
I don’t have to answer anything. She’s the one who needs to explain.

Prudy threw her hands up. “The police were out looking for you!”

Police? So it
was
bad. “What did you expect me to do?” she said. “You were no help!”

The pastor stepped forward with his hands out. Like she was some crazy lady. He spoke gently. “We were worried. Everyone here cares about you.”

She looked at her mother. “Why does he have to be here?”

Prudy looked stunned. “Sally!”

“I just don’t see how this involves the church.”

Lenny spoke up. “I agree.”

Prudy’s jaw clenched. “I’ll speak to you alone, in your room, right now.”

But Sally stepped back. “What’s the matter?” She pulled the letter from her pocket and waved it in front of her mother. “You don’t want anyone to know about
this?
The letter that
you
wrote. How
could
you?”

Let her try to wiggle out of this one! Instead, her mother seemed to deflate. She closed her eyes for a moment. Then nodded. “I’m sorry. It was a mistake. But I’m only looking out for you.”

“That’s it? That’s your explanation?” There had to be something her mother could say to take away this crumpled-up feeling.
I called your dad and we discussed it. He asked me to tell you
…. Or
He wrote that himself. Really! In fact, he desperately wants to come but I talked him out of it!

It was nothing but her mother’s mean-spirited way of bending Sally to her will. She wasn’t allowed to have her own ideas, her own plans. Her own
heart
. She wished she’d never come back. It would serve her mother right if she disappeared and Prudy spent her life knowing she’d driven her away. And talk about a double standard.

“What about Lenny? He’s seen him!”

Prudy didn’t answer. She seemed to be considering something. She worked her hands together. Stared out the window. Finally she sighed.

“We’ve all seen him,” she said.

Sally looked at Lenny. Nell. The pastor. They all wore the same hang-dog face. “When?”

“Lenny and Nell stole my car this morning when they learned you were going to Kalamazoo with Cash,” Pastor Voss said.

“We’ve just come from the police station,” Prudy said. “Lenny broke his parole. Nell almost lost her new job.”

Sally didn’t understand. “Why would you do that?” she asked them.

Lenny snorted. “You think I’m going to let you take off with Cash DeVries?”

Nell shot him a dirty look. “We wanted to find you,” she said. “We went and got Dad and he came with us.”

Went and got Dad
. It sounded so cozy, like they were stepping into the next room.
Hey Dad! Dinner’s ready!

Suddenly paranoid, Sally thought: what if they saw him all the time? Maybe they got together secretly, without her, for holidays and special occasions. Those Sunday afternoons she spent at Frannie’s house, were those their special family days?

“I had to beg for a ride to Kalamazoo from a guy I hardly know who, by the way, likes me. That’s right,
likes
me. Or at least would if I didn’t have such a psycho family. And I get all the way there just to find out that my dad knows nothing about me or my letter, and then I have to walk into a creepy looking bar and have some stranger tell me that Lenny was there with his dad.” She stamped her foot. “What’s going on?!”

“I’d like some more answers myself,” Prudy said. “But all you need to know right now is that your father is not someone you’re going to be spending any time with.”

“You’ve all seen him! Why can’t I?”

“Your father hasn’t changed,” Prudy said. “Tell her Lenny.”

“This is fucked up,” he grumbled.

“You can’t keep me away from him! It’s not fair.”

She saw her mother look at the pastor. As if this had anything to do with him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Prudy said.

Sally would explode if she had to hear that one more time. It was like a broken record. “I want to hear it from him!” she shouted. She was out on a limb now. Either she’d see her father or she’d come crashing down. “Why won’t you listen to me?”

But who was the one not listening? He doesn’t love you. He never did and he never will. That’s what her mother was trying to tell her.

Prudy put her head in her hands like she didn’t know what to do. Sally wavered, remembering what Cash said, that her mother might have good reasons for what she did. So why couldn’t Sally accept that and let it go?

Then Pastor Voss made a strange, guttural sound that startled everyone. He was over by the window, lifting the curtain with one finger. “Prudy, you’d better come here.”

Prudy went to the door and opened it. Sally followed and, craning her neck, saw a dark-haired man sitting on the porch steps. The man stood, chuckling.

“This is better than the soap opera they play down at the Torchlight,” he said, turning.

Sally stared. Could it be? After all this he shows up on her doorstep, like a present dropped from above? She pushed past everyone and through the door until she was standing before him. She took in his rumpled clothes, watery red eyes, the strange dent in one temple. Maybe he wasn’t so handsome like she imagined, but she looked awful herself, all sweaty, her face blotchy from yelling. It didn’t matter. She’d know him anywhere.

Her mother took her arm and pulled her back. “Richard, I thought we agreed.”

He cocked his head and smiled. “No, we didn’t really. As I recall, you left before we could reach an understanding.” Then, natural as could be, he said, “Hello Sally. I hear you’ve been trying to track me down.”

She gave Lenny a grateful look. That’s what he was doing at the Torchlight. Helping her. Why didn’t he just say so?

“Suppose so,” she said, suddenly shy. How much had he heard? He might think she was a nutcase, ranting like that. And what about him? She might find out very soon that he was a nutcase too, only it would be too late. She couldn’t very well shrug and play it cool.
Oh, hey. Nice to meet you
. Big yawn. She was committed now.