Her First Vacation (18 page)

She didn’t sound fine. She sounded like her voice was full
of the tears he knew she was crying.
Tears that he was responsible
for.
He closed his hand into a tight fist as he leaned his head against
the door for a moment. He really could be a self-serving prick sometimes. He’d
taken her when he knew she wasn’t ready, and he must have hurt her in his greed
to find his own release. That or he’d done such a miserable job of it that she
was crying because she didn’t know how to tell him she wanted him to leave her
the hell alone. He had to resist the urge to bang his head against the door a
few times in the hope that it would knock some sense into him. He’d known she
wasn’t ready for him. Hell, she probably wouldn’t ever be ready for someone
like him. She needed a nice, normal man. Someone who’d been around the block
enough times to know how to handle her, but that wasn’t so jaded by life that
they’d hurt her. He couldn’t hope to do anything but hurt her. It was in his
nature to keep things light and carefree, and Claire would never be that kind
of woman. It didn’t matter that beneath her outward uncertainty lay a woman
full of passion and fire. It didn’t matter that she had the most responsive
body he’d ever touched. All that mattered was that she deserved a man who could
touch her soul as well, and he sure as hell wasn’t that man. She wouldn’t want
him anywhere near her soul. Not if she had half a clue about who and what he
really was.

He sighed as he lifted his forehead from the door and
turned to glance at their clothes lying on the floor beside the bed. He ought
to just get dressed and go. It would be easier on her in the long run. She was
going to wind up hating him
eventually,
he might as
well start giving her the ammunition to do so now. But he couldn’t make himself
go. It didn’t matter how smart he knew it was or how foolish he’d be to stay,
he simply knew he couldn’t walk away until he’d made sure she was okay. He
turned to focus on the door once more.

“Open the door, Claire.”

There was emotion in his voice.
Resignation
and maybe even disgust.
With himself or her?
Claire again tried to swipe the tears from her eyes, but they kept right on
coming. She closed her eyes, willing the useless tears to stop. He’d never
understand why she was crying. He’d probably laugh if she tried to explain it
to him. The very idea was enough to make her want to cringe. She couldn’t bear
for him to laugh at her right now. She felt too exposed, too raw. He knocked on
the door again. She dropped her gaze to the knob, watching as it turned back
and forth a bit when he checked to see if she’d locked it. She heard him mutter
something beneath his breath when he discovered that she had turned the small
lock home.

“Damn it, Claire, let me in.”

She knew he wasn’t going to just go away, then. She’d half
expected him to. When she came running into the bathroom she’d waited, thinking
she’d hear her bedroom door slam shut or even close quietly as he made his
escape. But he wasn’t leaving, and something in his voice said he wasn’t going
to any time soon. She cleared her throat.

“Give me a minute.”

“You’ve had a minute. In fact, you’ve had close to five
already. Either
open
this door, or I’ll do it myself.”

Inexplicably, she didn’t doubt that he could. The lock was
hardly on par with a deadbolt, but it was a step above the most typical
inexpensive bathroom lock. Still, she was mildly surprised to realize that she
didn’t find it remotely difficult to imagine Colin possessing the sorts of
skills that would make the lock no barrier at all. She pushed to her feet,
moving to the sink. She deliberately avoided her reflection in the mirror. She
didn’t want to see the aftermath of the tears. She knew it wouldn’t be pretty.
Instead she turned on the water and splashed some on her face, then dried it
with one of the small hand towels.
That done, she turned
around and drew a slow, unsteady breath before reaching out to flip the lock on
the door.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Colin was a little surprised that she actually unlocked the
door. He’d fully expected to have to bypass the lock to get to her. By now, he
ought to be used to her doing things he didn’t expect, though. She was
certainly making a habit of it. He reached out to grasp the doorknob,
then
stepped back in a hurry when it suddenly turned, and
the door swung outward. Claire stood there, still naked, with red-rimmed eyes
and a nose that looked like it was a heartbeat away from glowing. Her lashes
were still wet with tears he could see brimming in her eyes, but she had her
head held high. It was a precarious kind of control, he knew, but it was damned
impressive anyway. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to her. He’d
barely touched her face when one tear spilled free and trailed down her cheek.
Colin felt his gut clench. He’d never been particularly susceptible to women’s
tears. Usually he had no real trouble at all hardening himself against them. But
that lone tear seemed to slam into him with the force of a sledgehammer. He
cupped her head and pulled her forward, wrapping his arms around her.

“God, I’m sorry, Claire.”

He thought she’d collapse against him and burst into more
tears. Instead, he felt her stiffen and step back.

“For what?”

“For whatever I did to make you cry.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t do anything. Not anything
wrong, at least.”

He frowned as he brushed his thumb across the wet trail on
her cheek. “Then why are you crying?”

He could see her struggling, either for the words to answer
him or with the decision whether to answer him at all. Eventually she gave a
small shrug as she looked up into his eyes.

“I couldn’t help it. I’ve never felt anything so incredible
in my life. I never thought it could be like that. I never thought I could be
like that.” She blushed and dropped her gaze from him. “I guess I thought I
was...frigid.”

Colin didn’t need to ask to know that she wasn’t talking
about a conclusion she’d leapt to all by herself. The bastard who’d taken her
innocence had certainly done a thorough job on her. Colin wondered how long it
would take him to find the prick and make him pay. He shoved that question
aside as he reached out and caught her chin, gently lifting her face so she was
forced to meet his gaze.

“You are most definitely not frigid, Claire. Not even
close.”

A new tear spilled down her cheek. “I didn’t disappoint
you?”

Colin wanted to curse but managed to keep the impulse in
check. Instead he gripped her hand and brought it to his already growing
erection.

“Does it feel like I’m disappointed?”

She blushed furiously, but she didn’t pull away from him.
Instead she closed a tentative hand around him, squeezing gently. He saw her eyes
widen when her touch made him harden swiftly. He gripped her wrist. “Hold that
thought for just a minute, will you?”

Claire watched as he stepped away from her, going into the
bathroom to get rid of the used condom. He ran the water for a few seconds,
wetting a washcloth that he used to clean himself off before coming back out of
the bathroom. She let her eyes drop to the evidence of his arousal. So far
she’d pretty much kept her gaze averted from that particular part of his
anatomy. She could feel the heat rise in her face again, but she ignored it.
They’d already touched in the most intimate of ways. It was absurd to feel
embarrassed at this point. As she studied him, she saw the erection harden even
more. In response, heat pooled low in her belly. At that moment, she felt
anything but frigid. She felt hot and wanton and strangely powerful. He was
getting hard because he wanted her. Her touch had brought him to this point.
She suddenly wanted to know what else it would do to him.

Colin was fully prepared to lead her to the bed and cradle
her against his body for a while before giving in to the need to have her
again. Claire, on the other hand, clearly had decided she was past the need for
that kind of companionship. She took a step toward him, reaching out to wrap
her long, slender fingers around him. He felt his entire body jerk at the
touch. She squeezed him,
then
let him go as she
trailed her fingers up his length before brushing his tip lightly. His erection
twitched, and his arms came up to grasp her. Her eyes lifted to his, and the
innocence in her gaze was nearly his undoing. He’d meant to tell her that she
had to stop touching him like that if she didn’t want to wind up with one hell
of a mess on her hands, literally. But the wide-eyed way she looked at him told
him she’d never touched a man like this before. Not even her former lover. The
idiot had probably been too busy gratifying himself to even consider that she
might want to touch him. Or maybe she hadn’t been interested in it then. It was
obvious she was interested now, however, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell
her no. Somehow he’d hold himself together, even if it killed him. He dropped
his hands from her shoulders, catching one of hers in the process. He gave her
a rueful smile.

“Come to the bed and I’ll let you explore all you like.”

He saw her blush and wondered if she’d work up the nerve to
touch him again. He led her to the bed,
then
stretched
out on it, scooting to the middle so she’d have plenty of room beside him. She
sat down, and he saw her hesitating. Then she let her gaze slide down his body,
and he felt himself responding to it. God help him when she made the caress
physical.

Claire lifted a hand to lightly brush the dark curls on his
chest. She was embarrassed by the idea of just staring at him like this, but
she couldn’t ignore the need to know him. She wanted to run her fingers over
every inch of his body. She wanted to touch him and watch as he responded to
her touch. She already knew he liked for her to touch his nipples. She ran a
finger
over one them,
lightly brushing it as she
dropped her gaze to his erection. It twitched in response. She wondered what
would happen if she kissed him there?

Colin found himself wishing desperately that the bed wasn’t
so generic. Something made of iron with bars at the top would have been nice at
the moment. He needed something to grab hold
of,
something to take even the slightest bit of his focus off what Claire was doing
to his body. He clenched his jaw as she leaned forward and tentatively touched
her tongue to one of his nipples. He couldn’t stop the low groan, and she
lifted her head to study him for a second before putting her mouth on him once
more. This time she didn’t just touch him with her tongue. This time she gently
nipped at him with her teeth, then ran her tongue over him before nipping him
again. And just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, he felt her hand
slide down his stomach. A second later she had wrapped her fingers around his
aching erection and was stroking him lightly while her mouth continued to work
on his nipple. God, he was in trouble.

Claire could feel the pulsing of his erection, and it
finally drew her attention away from his chest. She lifted her head and turned
to watch as she tightened her fingers around him and carefully slid them along
his length. She was amazed by how soft and yet how hard he was. She stroked him
once, then twice, then again and again. She could feel the muscles in his body
tightening and her own muscles began to do the same. The heat in her belly
began a slow downward spiral. She never expected to be turned on by turning him
on. Not like this. She kept her fingers around him, kept sliding them up and
down. She couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t enough, though. She’d been
thinking earlier that she wanted him to lose control. He didn’t appear to be in
any danger of that at this point. It only took her a few seconds to decide what
she needed to do.

Colin felt her shift on the bed. He’d closed his eyes a
long time ago while he struggled to keep himself from flying apart in her
clever little hand. She was wholly inexperienced, and he could feel it in the
way she touched him. She was learning with each touch, each stroke. It drove
him nuts to watch her watching him, so he closed his eyes to avoid that. It
meant he didn’t realize exactly what she was doing until he felt her mouth
close over his erection. His eyes flashed open as she took him into her mouth,
and he damn near came then and there. He reached down and caught her, trying to
push her away. She lifted her head, releasing him as she met his gaze. He gave
his head a sharp shake.

“Don’t.”

She frowned at him. “Was I doing it wrong?”

He almost laughed out loud. “No, you were doing it very
right. But that’s not something I think you’re ready for.”

She gave him a look that bordered somewhere between a pout
and uncertainty. Her voice sounded far more confident, however. “I’ll decide
what I’m ready for, Colin.”

Before he could argue further she dropped her mouth to him
once more, and this time there wasn’t any hesitation when she took him in. He
felt her tongue glide over him, felt her suck gently at him. He had to get her
off him. He didn’t push her away, though. He couldn’t. She’d found a rhythm and
was sucking and stroking him with an intensity that had him shaking with the
effort to hold himself back. He reached down and tangled his hand in her hair.
It was fanned out across his hips, and he felt a flash of heat as he realized
she was fulfilling more than one of the fantasies he’d had about her. She was
picking up the pace with each stroke, and he knew he was going to lose it any
second. She was making little noises that he instantly realized meant she was
as turned on by what she was doing as he was. He couldn’t stand it any longer. She
was going to come, and he wanted to be inside her when it happened. He sat up
and caught her shoulders, forcing her to let him go.