Her Perfect Man (18 page)

“I told you how I got pregnant in high school.”

Her voice dropped so low that Charlie had to lean in to hear her. “You know how kids are at that age. I was convinced I was in love with him. My parents didn’t approve, but they never approved of anything I did, so that was nothing new. I had to sneak around to see him, but that only made the whole thing more exciting—like Romeo and Juliet.”

Kim drew in a deep breath. “When I found out I was pregnant—I must have peed on half a dozen of those little sticks—I was terrified. But I was excited, too. Somehow I got it in my little teenage brain that he was the love of my life and we were going to be together forever. I honestly thought we were going to run away and get married or something.”

“When did your parents find out?”

“Oh, they found out almost as soon as I did. I didn’t do much of a job of hiding the test boxes. I think part of me wanted to throw it in their faces.

Even before this, I was never the golden girl. That was my sister Cheryl’s role. So when the truth came out, I was on
house arrest
. I couldn’t go to school, couldn’t see my boyfriend, even talk to him on the phone. But I knew that as soon as he found out about the baby, he’d come and rescue me. I had it all pictured, like in a movie.”

She glanced up at Charlie. She wondered what he was thinking. She couldn’t tell. His had face become a mask.

“Lynnette offered to go tell him for me. She had my back, all that. So yeah, I gave her the go ahead.

And I waited for Dale to come save me. Except he never came. I was just…devastated.” She gave a short laugh. “That sounds so melodramatic, doesn’t it?
Heartbroken.
Whatever. I just know I felt completely alone. Meanwhile, my parents kept telling me I was a disgrace and a disappointment and yeah, a slut.”

Kim said nothing more for a short time, gazing into the middle distance and sorting though memories. Then she snapped herself out of it.

“Long story short,” she went on, her voice harsh and brisk. “My parents were important people in the community. My father was a doctor who had a position to uphold. My mother was on all kinds of committees and organizations. Just imagine how a pregnant teenage daughter would damage their standing. So the decision was made to hustle me out of town for a secret abortion. I was so beaten down by that time, so sad and confused that I didn’t even put up a fight. But while that was all being arranged, nature intervened and I had a miscarriage. And I was relieved.”

She looked at him defiantly, her eyes burning and dry, her throat raw from trying not to cry. “Do you think I’m a terrible person? Because I felt that way?”

Charlie shook his head. “No. I don’t think you’re terrible. I never have.” His voice was quiet and his eyes were soft with compassion. With pity? Well, she’d wanted the mask to fall. And all it cost her was her self-respect.

“I was glad I didn’t have to go through the abortion and relieved I didn’t have to be a mom at sixteen. But even though I wasn’t pregnant anymore, the damage was done. My parents never let me live it down. But that wasn’t even the worst.

When I got back to school I found out why Dale—my wonderful boyfriend—had blown me off. He’d gotten a new girl.

“After that, I didn’t care what I did or who I did it with. The only thing I ever kept away from was the hard drugs—I was too scared of them. But otherwise, I made it my job to act like the slut everybody seemed to think I was. Especially my parents. I just loved sticking it to them.”

“You’ve been sticking it to them ever since, haven’t you?” Charlie asked.

Kim should have been surprised by his observation, but she wasn’t. He knew her. “Yeah, I have. I still keep trying to punish them. Doing my best to screw up my life, even though they stopped caring years ago.”

“So who’s really being punished?”

“Yeah, I know. Took me long enough to figure it out, though.”

“Don’t punish yourself anymore, Kim.”

She gazed at the children swinging on the playground swings. “You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” She lifted her cup to take another sip of her drink and found it was empty.

“I’m not mad.” He finished his punch then took both their cups and threw them in a nearby trashcan. He returned to their bench but didn’t sit.

Kim’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. “But you don’t think we should hang out anymore.”

“I just think you’ve got a lot to deal with, getting over your ex and all the rest. This isn’t the best time for us to start a relationship.”

“Okay, no relationship. Does that mean we can’t have sex?” she asked, only half-joking.

“No sex. Although you don’t know how it hurts to say that.”

Kim sighed. “You don’t know much it hurts to hear it.”

“Everything you said about me it true,” Charlie said. “I’m nosy and pushy and want to fix things.

And that’s not my place. It’s your life. You’d just end up hating my guts. It’s a bad idea for us to keep seeing each other.”

And that was that. Kim had given it her best shot. As heartsick as she was, she wouldn’t make the same mistake she’d always made in the past. She wouldn’t hang on, hoping he’d change his mind. This time she’d give him, and herself, the gift of letting go. “Should we go back inside?” he asked, looking down at her.

“I’m good here.” For all her determination to be mature, her eyes burned with the need to cry. Her chest ached with an invisible gaping wound. “You go on back. I’m gonna sit here for a while.”

He looked as though he wanted to cry himself.

“Kim.”

She pressed her lips together hard to stop their trembling. “Please just get outta here, okay?”

She didn’t want him to see her cry.

Charlie stood in his bathroom and straightened the knot in his tie. He could hang himself with it but already felt as though he were strangling. He flexed his fingers to keep them from going numb with anxiety.

What if she slams the door in my face?

Knowing Kim, he wouldn’t be surprised
.
And maybe he deserved it. She’d laid herself bare for him the night of the art show, and he’d been a pompous jerk. Making pronouncements like Moses from the Mount.

It’s a bad idea for us to keep seeing each other.

He should have put his arms around her instead of pulling away. Told her that he loved her. How often had anyone told her that? Not nearly often enough, he was sure.

But he’d let her down, like everyone else in her life. Because he was a fucking coward. Blaming Kim for his loss of temper, his loss of
control
. Punishing her for the way he’d acted. Just the way Kevin punished their parents. The way he’d blamed them for all his problems to avoid looking at himself.

Charlie looked at himself good and hard in the mirror.
I’m not Kevin. I’m responsible for everything I do, not my brother, not Kim. Not anyone else.

He’d told Kim he would accompany her to her parents’ anniversary. Tonight he’d show her that he kept his promises. That she could depend on him.

That he would always be there for her.

If she’d let him.

If she didn’t slam the door in his face.

He took a deep breath and clicked off the light.

Well, only one way to find out.

****

Kim struggled to stuff her feet into a pretty but uncomfortable pair of green pumps when someone rapped at the door.

She grimaced in annoyance.
What the hell?
If she didn’t get out of here in a few minutes, she’d be late for the anniversary party, and that would just give her parents more rope to hang her with. As if they didn’t have enough already.

She yanked open the door and her jaw dropped.

Charlie stood there as shiny as a new penny.

Freshly showered and shaven, he smelled deliciously of some kind of woodsy aftershave. He wore a dark gray suit. A light blue shirt and blue silk tie completed his outfit.

“Wow,” Kim said.

His mouth quirked in a half-smile, but his blue eyes were serious. “Will I pass?”

“Uh, yeah, but…what’re you doing here?” She winced. “Oh, shit. That didn’t come out right. I mean—”

“You did ask me to go to your parents’

anniversary with you.”

“Oh, yeah…but I—”

“You never actually disinvited me, so…here I am.” His expression was humorous but guarded. As if bracing himself for whatever her reaction might be. “Wow. You look great,” she told him shyly.

“Thanks.” This time his smile was wide. “I clean up good, don’t I?” His eyes drifted over her with appreciation. “Let me return the compliment.”

“You think?” she asked, touching her throat hesitantly. She wore a floaty green and gold chiffon dress that skimmed her knees. One of those second- hand items her mother deplored, but certainly suitable for a party. A simple gold chain wrapped her throat, and wonder of wonders, she’d actually applied make-up. Bronze eye-shadow accentuated her brown eyes and her mouth was glossed with a rosy shade of lipstick. She almost didn’t recognize herself. She felt like a kid playing dress-up or an actor wearing a costume.

“You look incredible,” Charlie told her.

His approval buoyed her spirits. “Thanks.”

Maybe she would pass muster in her parents’ critical eyes.

The warmth in his gaze sent a flare of answering heat through her. But suddenly he grew serious again. “But I understand if you don’t want my company.”

“I’m just surprised, that’s all. You mean you’d still go with me, even though—”

“I told you I would.”

And he was a man of his word. It hit her suddenly, like a punch in the stomach, how much she’d missed him. How lonely she’d been for him.

“It’s up to you, Kim.”

She didn’t have to think. “Thanks.” Stepping back to let him enter, she added, “I’d love for you to be with me tonight.” Kim’s heart bumped in her chest.
Tonight and always
.

Having him accompany her would give her the strength to get through this evening and face her parents and her sister.

Why was he doing this? After all her bitchery, he was a standup guy and kept his promise to her.

Most men would have told her to stuff it.
You’re on your own, bitch.
See ya around.

But Charlie was not most men. Her bad luck to realize that far too late. No, not bad luck. Pure stupidity.

But still, his being here made foolish thoughts race through her mind. Did he still have feelings for her?
Take it easy.
Don’t read too much into things…

He cleared his throat. “Your family won’t object to you bringing a guest?”

“Oh, they’ll be too busy finding fault with me to give you a hard time. Making sure I don’t blow my nose in my dinner napkin or something.”

“I see.” His look said
I see a lot more than you think.
Her face grew hot and her heartbeat tripped over itself.

He straightened his tie as though he were in effect girding his loins. “Well, when do we leave?”

Kim grabbed her purse. “Right now.”

****

Kim expected her mother to answer the door of the house she’d grown up in. But instead, her sister Cheryl greeted them.

“Oh…hi.” Perfect Cheryl. Her golden brown hair curled softly against her cheek, her black sheath exposed only the merest hint of cleavage, and a strand of pearls circled her throat. The effect was understated yet stunningly chic and Kim immediately felt like a frumpy loser in her consignment shop dress and dumb green shoes.

“Hi,” Cheryl murmured. The two sisters hesitated, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Cheryl took a half step toward her, and for a moment, Kim thought she wanted to hug her.

But that couldn’t be right. When was the last time they had actually hugged?

Her heart hammering with anxiety, Kim quickly swiveled away. “Uh, this is, uh, my uh, my…” She suddenly didn’t know how to classify him and as the seconds ticked on, she simply gave up. “Charlie.”

The corner of her Cheryl’s mouth twitched.

“Your Charlie? Nice to know.”

Kim’s face flamed and she gritted her teeth. “My friend.” God, she’d hardly stepped inside and already

muffed it. Couldn’t handle one little introduction.

Charlie saved the day by clasping Cheryl’s offered hand and murmuring some polite something.

Kim’s stomach twisted as they shook hands, and the old fear rushed back—would he like her more?

Everyone always liked Cheryl more.

My God, what’s the matter with me? Get it together, Kim. You’re not a kid anymore.

As they followed Cheryl into the hall, Kim caught the scent of the light, flowery fragrance her sister wore. Probably something that cost a hundred dollars an ounce. Kim only bought cheap drugstore perfume and was glad she hadn’t worn any of it tonight.

They were led out onto the patio. “We’re out here, near the pool. Thankfully, the weather cooperated.”

The guests congregated in small clusters around the built-in swimming pool. The water glimmered, reflecting the fairy lights strung around the patio.

But the guests of honor were MIA. “Where are Mom and Dad?”

“Dad’s still at the hospital.” Cheryl’s tone was calm, but her face was stiff with strain. “Mom’s in her room.”

And none too happy to be kept waiting by her husband, Kim was sure. Pouting and refusing to make an appearance without him. Leaving Cheryl to play hostess.

“The bar’s over by the pool and there are plenty of hors d’oeuvres. Help yourselves. I just need to check things in the kitchen.”

When Cheryl left, they snagged a few goodies from white-coated servers bearing trays and Charlie got their drinks from the bar.

“Your sister’s pleasant,” he remarked as he handed Kim a white wine spritzer. She had no intention of getting buzzed tonight.

“Yes.”

At the far side of the pool, a tall dark haired man stood next to a pale thin blonde, leering at her as though he wanted to dive down the front of her dress. Kim didn’t recognize the blonde but she knew the man. He looked up briefly and waved to Kim.