Her Sudden Groom (15 page)

“
Oh, hush up, John,” Father told his brother. “He may not be as slimy as two of your three sons-in-law, but he isn’t incapable of finding a bride, either.”

“
Well, that’s good news,” his uncle said a bit sarcastically. He looked at Alex and swallowed. “I’m going to say something that had better never leave this room. Understand?”

“
Of course,” Alex agreed.

“
I’d rather go on a platform before all of England proclaiming my love and admiration for both Andrew and Benjamin than be any kind of relation to Lady Olivia.”

Alex bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t ruin his uncle’s glory by pointing out that even if Alex married Caroline, they’d all still be
some
relation to Lady Olivia. Instead, he nodded.

“
Do
whatever
it takes not to marry that wretched young lady,” Uncle John continued. “Lie, cheat, steal, beg, or barter if you must. Just do whatever it takes so I do not have to share a last name with that awful creature.” He shuddered. “As much as it irritates me to suggest this, ask Andrew for advice. He seemed to have no difficulty meeting, ruining, and marrying my daughter in hardly any time at all.”

Alex dropped his gaze to the floor. He didn’t exactly wish to admit he’d already done that and had been given terrible advice.

“
That’s what I suggested,” Father piped in.

“
No, it’s not,” Alex said, shaking his head. “You said nothing about asking Andrew about his strategy. You told me to stop thinking with my brain and make my decisions with my—” He broke off abruptly when he remembered there was a minister in the room.

“
Tallywag,” Father supplied for him, garnering a snicker from his brother.

“
You think
that’s
funny?” Alex asked his protestant minister uncle.

Uncle John shrugged. “I’m used to it. I grew up with him. He may be six years my senior, but I was not immune from hearing his tasteless remarks. You know he only says half the things he says and does half the things he does for a reaction. And, my dear nephew, he seems to have gotten the reaction he desired from you.”

Alex shook his head. His entire family was insane, there was nothing else for it. “You’re not used to it,” Alex said suddenly. “Just last year, he shocked you when he asked Paul a rather personal question about his relationship with your youngest daughter.”

His uncle snorted. “It wasn’t the words that shocked me. I was merely surprised he’d been so bold as to ask the poor man such a question in front of a room full of people.”

Father and Alex both shook their heads. “Say what you wish, brother, you were not merely surprised. You looked furious. Which, don’t get me wrong, I do understand. I would be rather uncomfortable in your position, too. But someone had to ask the man, he wasn’t offering up any useful information.”

Raising his hands, Uncle John said, “All right, I admit I was shocked. But not nearly as shocked as Paul.” He smiled. “My discomfort was a small price to pay for the look on that man’s face. He and I had previously had several awkward conversations privately, but none quite like that.”

“
While I’m glad I could be of help to you in making your son-in-law squirm,” Father drawled, shifting back against his pillows. “This talk of making others uncomfortable does nothing in helping Alex in his quest of a bride.”

Alex tensed. Did even his own father think him incapable of anything but studying? Everyone else did. He just hoped at least one person could see him as more than that. He stood. “While I’ve enjoyed listening to your invaluable advice about letting my privates lead my decisions, I must be going.”

Father sighed. “That’s not what I said. I hope you don’t leave this room only remembering that. I said to rely on your feelings and think with other parts of your body.” He made a sound of aggravation and ran his hand through his hair, pulling it before letting it go. “Alex, ladies are told they’re not supposed to enjoy certain attentions from a man. But they do. Or they can, if it’s done right.” He took another swig of water. “What I’m trying to tell you is I think you’ll have better success if you quit being so damned logical all the time.”

“
He has a point,” Uncle John said quietly, steepling his hands in front of him. “As much as I don’t like to think about my children in such a manner, all three of my daughters seem very happy with their husbands. I’d be blind if I didn’t see the affection passed between them and their husbands.”

“
Yes, you would have to be blind,” Father retorted with a snort. “For pity’s sake, John, in less than two years you’ve managed to marry off all three of your daughters, gain two grandchildren, and you have two more on the way.”

His brother smiled brightly. “You’re right. I’ll admit, I think you’re right about where their happiness stems from.
And
I’m big enough to admit that even if I didn’t approve of two of my three daughters’ husbands at first, I am very pleased with how everything turned out.”

“
See?” Father said smugly. “I was right.”

“
Well, none of this will even matter if Caroline doesn’t wish to marry me. I’ll not force my attentions on her,” Alex repeated firmly. “We’ll not be forced to marry due to a scandal.” His statement struck a nerve with his uncle, Alex just didn’t care. He had no wish to bring shame to Caroline. It wasn’t her fault his father had stupidly made a betrothal agreement; therefore, he couldn’t see any reason to expose her to public censure.

“
That’s fine,” Father said testily. “I’m just giving you a bit of advice I’d wished my father had given me. My marriage was arranged for me. However, I was fortunate to be paired with your mother. You’re not going to be so fortunate with Lady Olivia.” The sour look on his face that accompanied his words made a wicked idea form in Alex’s brain.

“
You never know, we just might suit,” he drawled with a shrug.

Father’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”

He leaned against the doorjamb. “I just might have to. It was a binding contract you signed, wasn’t it?”

“
That was a foolish mistake on my part. But it can be rectified if you marry another. You still have nearly a month.”

Alex shoved his hands in his pocket and ran his thumb around the edge of his pocket watch. “Yes, but you seem doubtful in my ability to find another bride. Perhaps I should just resign myself to the idea of making Olivia my bride, and one day Baroness Watson. If I post the banns today, we could have the wedding on my birthday.”

“
Son, stop talking,” Father croaked. “You have no idea what marriage to that harpy would be like.”

Alex bit back a smile at the twin expressions of what he interpreted to be horror that had come over the other men’s faces. Schooling his features to look impassive, he said, “Aren’t all females the same in the dark?”

A gagging, choking, strangled sound emerged from father’s throat. “Hell, no. And how can you even think of bedding her?”

He couldn’t, but he wasn’t about to admit to them that in the event he was forced to marry her, he’d not even come close to consummating the marriage. Elijah could inherit Alex’s title upon his death for all Alex cared. “Don’t I owe it to the barony to secure an heir?” he drawled, willing his stomach to calm down.

“
Elijah or Elijah’s son can inherit,” Father said tightly. “I want to sleep soundly in my grave, not spin in circles at the gut wrenching possibility of any spawn of Lady Olivia getting my title.”

“
Who knows, Edward, he might only have girls. I did,” Uncle John said, rubbing his forearm like he was suffering a chill.

“
That’s possible,” Father said excitedly. “Perhaps you should just assume Lady Olivia is unable to give you a son and stay away from her bedchamber.”

“
I’m not a monk. I’m not about to make a vow of eternal celibacy. And you never know, the nights might get cold, and I might get lonely,” Alex replied as smoothly as he could while trying not to choke on his own tongue.

Father crossed his arms. “There are precautions a man can take.”

“
But why would I do that?”

“
So she doesn’t conceive,” Father said as if he were talking to a simpleton.

Alex made his eyes go wide. “But I might want children, you know? And what of you? You seem awfully jealous of Uncle John and the fact he’s been made a grandfather nearly four times over. Wouldn’t you love a little plump, flame-haired, freckle-faced urchin to dandle on your knee while he—or she—caterwauls and screams at you to tell another story?”

“
Oh, Alex, please stop. That mental image is going to give me nightmares,” Father said, pushing on his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

Uncle John laughed. “At least my grandchildren are attractive. Their fathers may be scoundrels, but at least they’re handsome scoundrels.”

Father laid his head down on his pillow and sighed. “It really doesn’t matter. We all know I won’t be around to see any of my grandchildren, no matter who the parents.”

A hush fell on the room as everyone contemplated the reality of his words. It was true he wouldn’t be around to meet any of his grandchildren. But he would likely be around to see who Alex married. At the least, he could go to his grave in peace, knowing his title would be passed to a decent sort, preferably the son Alex created with Caroline.

Alex moved to the door. “Rest well, Father. I’ve not given up hope on Caroline.”

Chapter 9

Caroline slipped out the servants’ door and walked down the path that led down to the storage shed where her telescope was presently stored. After the uncomfortable end to yesterday’s visit at Alex’s, she honestly didn’t expect him to call on her today. She assumed he only asked to be polite. She stopped walking. When had she ever been told of Alex Banks saying something only to be polite? Never. He was polite of course, and always a perfect gentleman, but she’d never heard rumors of him
only saying something out of politeness and not following through. She glanced at the house before shrugging and continuing her walk to the shed. If he really was coming, he could speak to Marcus while he waited for her to come back. Right now she had no desire to go back in that house.

Olivia had been on a tirade ever since she’d gotten in the carriage in Bath. She’d ranted on and on about how it was all Caroline’s fault her foot was broken and how the bath had done nothing to heal it. Caroline let her words fly in one ear then immediately tumble out the other as she stared out the window and prayed they’d get home soon.

This morning, Olivia wanted to whine and complain about her blasted wedding to Arid Alex again, and Caroline could take it no more. She no longer was only irritated when Olivia spoke about him and marriage to him that way; she’d also discovered she had a slight pain in her chest as well. A slight pain she had no business feeling. Alex was Olivia’s intended, not hers. She shouldn’t be entertaining any thoughts about him unless directly related to their experiment—pardon, campaign—or the fact he was about to be her cousin’s husband. Anything else was not for her to think of.

A strong gust of wind caught Caroline’s skirts and she nearly tripped. Righting herself, she swallowed an unladylike phrase she’d like to direct at Olivia. If it weren’t for Olivia, her telescope wouldn’t be stored in the shed. And if her telescope wasn’t in the shed, she wouldn’t presently be outside being blown about. But her telescope was in the shed, which was actually the safest place for it as far as Caroline was concerned.

A few years ago Uncle Joseph had allowed her to set it up in the drawing room. The location was perfect for Caroline to stargaze from the warmth of the house. The location also seemed to be an ideal place for Olivia to use the telescope to hang flower pots, dirty stockings, drying laundry, or anything else she could find around the house to drape over it. Caroline repeatedly asked her not to, and as usual, her request was ignored. She would have moved the telescope to her room and been done with it, but the only window in her room had a giant tree just outside it. Marcus had offered to have a building erected for it. She’d refused, of course. It was one thing to rely on him and his family for her basic needs. She couldn’t possibly accept something so extravagant from him. Therefore, she’d resigned herself to allowing it to be stored in the shed.