Her Summer with the Marine: A Donovan Brothers Novel (Entangled Bliss) (18 page)

He would never, ever, ever put himself in a position where somebody could hurt him like that. And he’d never put Ellie in the position where she’d have to hurt him.

He turned and walked out of her apartment.

Chapter Fifteen

As Finn drove up his driveway, he saw his mother on the back deck standing by the grill.

“What are you doing home? I thought you were staying over somewhere.”

“I was.” He slammed the door of his range rover and walked into the house. Dropping his small duffel bag on the kitchen floor, he headed toward the French doors and the deck. His heart hurt and he was totally confused, but if he went to his room, his mother would ask what was wrong, and he just plain didn’t want to talk about it. “I was going to stay overnight at a cabin, but changed my mind.”

His mother frowned at him. “You have a fight with Ellie?”

Halfway to the swing, he stopped. “What?”

“Well, everybody knows the two of you have been seeing each other. Your car can’t be parked by her house without a hundred people noticing.” She paused, caught his gaze. “So what happened?”

He fell to the swing. Determined to keep his misery private, he said, “I don’t want anything permanent.”

“And she does?”

This is what a man got for living with his mother. The third degree. Especially when he least wanted to talk about something. Confident their father wouldn’t bother their mom anymore, his brothers had left, and now he and his mom were like roomies. Which made situations like this awful. If he didn’t talk, he’d hurt her. If he did, they’d get into a conversation he didn’t want. “She thinks she does.”

His mother kicked his boot. “Oh, and you’re such an expert on love and marriage.”

Words failed him. His mother had lived a nightmare with his dad. She should be griping with him, not suggesting he was wrong.

“I don’t need to be an expert to know marriage is an outdated idea.”

“Outdated?”

“It’s not like how it used to be, Mom. People don’t need to be married anymore.” He rose from the swing. “Smart people don’t commit to an institution that failed.”

“What about love?”

He laughed as he shook his head. “Love is some kind of hormonal imbalance.”

With that, he turned toward the door. “I think I’ll take my duffel bag to my room before we eat.” He casually left the deck, but walking up the stairs, the pain of losing Ellie rolled over him. Still, it was for the best. Ten years from now, when love died, the hurt would be ten times worse.

Best to end it now.

…

Ellie hadn’t heard the sound of the door closing when Finn left. She cried until her face felt swollen and her head ached. When she went to the kitchen for a glass of water, a quick knock sounded on her door, then Ashley stepped inside.

“Hey.”

Ellie turned her red, swollen face away. “You don’t have to worry that I’m going to do something stupid. He’s gone.”

“Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

Her chest rumbled with the desire to cry again, but she stopped it. She wanted to throw herself into Ashley’s arms and get comfort, but grown-ups didn’t cry for days. They didn’t burden their friends with troubles and sadness. They dealt with things themselves. They sucked it up. If she hadn’t let Finn go with her to see her dad, she might have kept their relationship in perspective. Instead, she’d let a few kindnesses give her the stupid notion he loved her.

What an idiot she was.

“If my eyes weren’t so red, I’d suggest we go for some ice cream.”

“To show the whole town you’re okay?”

She winced. “Oh, God. Does everybody know?”

Ashley ambled over. “Well, his car was here a lot. And everybody saw you together at the wedding.”

“So I’ll be bombarded with questions?”

Ashley shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe everybody will remember you and Finn are in the same business. Maybe they’ll think you were collaborating.”

“Oh, crud. If they believe we were collaborating, they might turn to Finn, thinking they’re supporting both of us.” She pulled in a long breath. “Now that the Tidy Whitiez commercials are a go, I’ve got to step up my efforts to sell funeral packages and make sure people know we’re not a team.”

“That’s a good idea.”

But that night when she walked into the kitchen for a snack, she thought of Finn. Making her food. Making her laugh.

Forcing her mind off that, she pulled bologna and bread from the refrigerator, and started making a sandwich, but she could see into the dining room, with all the keepsakes, and she thought of her mom.

Loving Finn the way she did, she was beginning to understand why her mom had left her dad for the man she’d fallen in love with. Love was a deep, penetrating feeling that made you do crazy, stupid things.

Or maybe it was going after love that got a person into trouble? After all, Finn hadn’t hurt her until she tried to get him to admit he loved her. And if her mom hadn’t left to be with the man she loved, she never would have been in that wreck.

She closed her eyes. Her dad had been ten years older than her mom. If the gossip was correct, her mom had married her dad out of desperation. She was thirty, thinking no man wanted her. So when Mark McDermott had, she’d married him, had his child, and settled into small-town life as the wife of the town mortician.

Maybe when she’d met Bill Jenkins she’d felt what Ellie felt for Finn? Maybe like Ellie, she hadn’t been able to resist that pull. The spark. The wonderful connection. Maybe she and her mom had both wanted something they weren’t supposed to have.

Ellie blew her breath out on a stuttering sigh.

Maybe Finn was right. Maybe love only hurt people?

Because she sure as hell hurt now.

…

The next morning, she ambled down the stairs in sweatpants and an ugly shirt to find B.B. in the office. She jumped out of the big black chair behind the desk.

“Oh, sweetie, you are a mess. For fifty cents, I’d walk to Donovan’s and beat Finn’s ass for you.”

Ellie laughed. Though she should have been offended, or at the very least annoyed with herself for not thinking to tell Finn to hide his car when he came over, in her wretched clothes with no makeup, she supposed she’d asked for Barbara Beth’s comment.

Barbara Beth guided her back to her dad’s chair. “What do you want? Coffee? Tea? Hot cocoa?”

“It’s got to be close to ninety degrees out there and it’s not even ten o’clock yet. I can’t drink hot cocoa.”

Barbara Beth winced. “It’s noon.”

Ellie’s face fell. “Noon?”

“Yeah, you’re a sleepyhead today.” Barbara Beth brightened. “But I have some good news.” She flashed a handful of checks at Ellie. “While you were busy with those commercials last week, I took your PowerPoint thing out to some houses and today the results are pouring in.”

Ellie rose. “There must be ten checks there.”

“Down payments,” Barbara Beth confirmed. “I might not be able to physically beat Finn’s ass, but this might be better.”

She gaped at the checks. “So we’re winning?”

“Yes.” Barbara Beth laughed. “This is just the tip of the iceberg. I expect another ten checks tomorrow. And I have ten appointments lined up for this week.” She grinned. “With your presentation and my personality, we’re a winning combination.”

Ellie blinked rapidly, then impulsively hugged Barbara Beth. “Thank you.”

Barbara Beth smiled. “You’re welcome. We’re a team, you know.”

Ellie smiled. “I know.”

With that, Barbara Beth grabbed her purse. “I’m taking these to the bank.”

Ellie nodded, but as the door closed behind Barbara Beth, she thought of Finn. If Barbara Beth managed to sell ten prepaid packages in one week, imagine what she could do once word got out.

B.B. was right. They were going to whip Finn’s behind. He was going to lose the business he’d sunk all his money into. His mom would be jobless. He’d leave town.

She fell to her chair. She’d ruined him.

Sad for Finn, even though she knew she shouldn’t be, Ellie drove to Harmony Hills Hideaway. Agnes took one look at her sweatpants and frowned. Without a word, she wheeled herself back into her room.

Ellie found her dad sleeping, his mouth open. She walked over to the bed and sat. “I need to talk, Dad.”

His eyelids didn’t even twitch.

She swallowed hard. “Barbara Beth took my PowerPoint presentation and started selling prepaid funeral packages.”

She tucked the covers around him more securely. “With my brains and her personality, we seem to make quite a team, because she sold ten packages last week.” She sucked in a breath. “Ten. She thinks she’ll get checks for ten more tomorrow and she’s got even more appointments lined up for this week.

“That seems good. Actually, it is good. But—” She paused. “I think we’re ruining Finn.”

She sighed and rose to pace. “I know, I know. I shouldn’t care. Business and all that. But…my God, Dad. His father beat him. He’s here to rescue his mom. And he did. But now he’s going to lose everything. He’s going to have to leave.” Her throat closed as an unexpected truth hit her. Something even worse than losing all his money. “He’s going to fail in front of his dad.”

Her chest tightened and she stopped pacing. Why was this tearing her up? They’d known all along it would come to this.

But, suddenly, suddenly, it felt so wrong. Finn’s dad would rub his face in his failure, embarrass him, try to entice his mom back.

She wished with every fiber of her being that she could take his offer to buy McDermott’s, to save him, to save the guy who didn’t want her—

Because whether he loved her or not, she loved him. She would do anything to save him from the misery that would follow his failure.

But she had a father who needed care. A dad who had loved her through his own loss, through gossip, through her leaving town to make her own life. A dad who hadn’t asked questions, who’d simply loved her.

She looked down at him. Her eyes filled with tears.

Why were there never any easy answers?

“I wish you could tell me what to do, Dad.”

But of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t wake up. But even if he did, there was no guarantee he’d recognize her. Truth was, there was more chance he
wouldn’t
recognize her.

She walked out of Harmony Hills Hideaway feeling worse than when she’d gone in. Sad to the marrow of her bones for her dad, for herself, for Finn, she finished the day’s work, ate a lonely supper, then showered and got ready for bed.

When her phone rang, she almost didn’t answer it. But knowing it could be a customer, she sat, picked up the phone, and said, “This is Ellie McDermott.”

“Ellie, sweetie, this is Regina from Harmony Hills. Your dad’s not well. We’d like you to come down.”

“I was just there this afternoon.”

“We know. But it’s best if you come back.”

Her heart shivered. “Come back?”

“Please. It’s important.”

She jumped out of bed, slid out of her pajamas, into shorts and a T-shirt, hopped into flip-flops, and raced to her car.

“Please don’t let him die. Please don’t let him die. Please don’t let him die,” she chanted the whole way to Harmony Hills Hideaway. When she got out of the car, she looked up at the sky. “Please do not let him die. I will be alone. Totally alone. Friends don’t make up for no mom and no dad. They might try to make up for no siblings, but it’s not the same. I don’t have anyone. Please do not take him.

“I don’t care if he can’t talk to me. I don’t care if we never get to share another word. Just don’t take him.”

They were waiting for her when she arrived. Dr. Hanson caught her arm and took her into a little room with a small table and two chairs. He motioned for her to sit.

She sat.

“Ellie, I’m very sorry to have to tell you your father has died.”

Even though, in her heart of hearts, she’d known that was why they’d called her here, her heart splintered. Her voice broke. “What?”

“He had a stroke.”

She rose, though she didn’t know why. “A stroke?”

“He had a history of heart disease. We were treating it, of course, but medicating isn’t fixing.”

She sat again, confusion and disbelief swimming through her brain like a school of sharks. Hungry but with no place to go.

The doctor rose. “You can see him for a few minutes if you’d like.” He smiled gently. “Is there anyone for us to call?”

A week ago, she would have said Finn. Right now, she could say Ashley. But Ashley had a family. Parents. Husband. Kids. Sisters. She was always horning in on Ashley’s life.

Tears welled up behind her eyes and burned in her sinuses but she stopped them. “No. I’m fine.”

She went into her father’s room, laid her head on his chest, and let herself cry. She cried because she’d never been home enough, cried because she would miss his visits to her in Pittsburgh, cried because he’d never make her a grilled cheese again, and cried because life really was a bitch to her. She cried because she would miss her daddy and cried because she was alone.

So alone her bones felt empty.

So alone the air around her felt different.

So alone she didn’t have time to be sad or upset. She had to go. She had to take care of things.

She lifted her head and walked out into the hall where the sad nurses stood waiting. She thanked them for taking good care of her dad and hugged them because they seemed to need it. Then she walked out of Harmony Hills Hideaway into the hot August night.

At the funeral home, she called her team. Within ten minutes, Dan, Jason, and B.B. stood in her office. She rose, cleared her throat. “My dad died.”

B.B. burst into tears. Jason cursed. Dan fell to the chair in front of her desk. “Damn it all anyway.”

“I don’t know if any of you had been to visit him lately, but he had gone downhill very quickly.” The lump in her throat swelled to the point that she had to swallow to speak. “The doctor called a few days ago and…” She stopped, her face trembled, and the tears in her eyes spilled over.

“Oh, sweetie.” B.B. ran to her and enveloped her in a hug. “I am so sorry. Your dad was a wonderful, wonderful guy. I’ve missed him so much the past few months that I couldn’t even explain it. But you. Oh my God. You lost your dad. I’m so sorry.”

Deep-voiced Jason said, “I’m sorry too.” He walked over and hugged her from behind, his big arms also reaching around B.B.