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Chapter Four

 

I frowned as
Meg stamped out the cigarette excessively hard. Her hand trembled slightly as
she reached for another. “Let's just stay out a bit longer. I really can't be bothered
with school today.” Her voice shook, too as she took a long drag and blew out a
large cloud of smoke.

 

“Are you all
right?” I asked hesitantly, noting the dark circles under her eyes and
abnormally pallid skin. “Has something happened?”

 

“Nothing,” she
replied too quickly, gaze not lifting from the ground.

 

“Meg,” I began,
unsure. I didn't want to push anything she didn't want to talk about, but Meg
really did look like she was about to burst into tears. I figured it was the
right thing to prompt her into confiding in me. “You know you can talk to me.
What's up?”

 

She sighed,
long and deep, before turning away from me completely. “I don't know if I can
talk to anyone about this,” Meg finally mumbled, running a hand through her
hair silently.

 

I frowned.
Something was seriously wrong. “Please?”

 

“My mum's got
breast cancer,” she finally blurted, facing me again with pleading eyes. “What
am I supposed to do, Maddie?”

 

I'd been
stunned into silence. What was my response to that supposed to be? “Meg, I'm so
sorry.” I wasn't sure whether to hug her or not, but she made the decision easy
by collapsing against me and releasing choked sobs.

 

“I just can't
believe it's happening. I didn't think this kind of thing happened to real
people. Why me?” Her words were barely comprehensible as she cried into my
shoulder.

 

“It'll be okay,”
I tried to soothe her unsuccessfully. I was struggling to keep my own tears in
check as her distraught leaked into me. “It isn't-” I paused, I didn't want to
downright ask, but it was an important question.

 

“No.”
Thankfully Meg understood what I was getting at. “It isn't terminal, but she
could still die.” Her voice cracked again there and the sobs continued
relentlessly.

 

I couldn't
really offer any more support than to let her wet my jacket and cling back
equally as tightly.

 

Eventually,
when the shoulder of my coat was dark with tears, she pulled back and wiped at
her eyes, completely destroying any of the make-up she had left. I gestured for
her to stay still whilst I wiped away the few black marks. “I'm really sorry,
Meg. Just tell me if there's anything I can do.”

 

She nodded and
offered a tiny smile. “Just distract me, please. Tell me anything. Tell me
about you and Mr. Wright.”

 

I almost
snorted. “There definitely isn't a 'me and Mr. Wright',” I assured her.

 

“Not that you
wouldn't want there to be,” Meg countered instantly, though the joke didn't
show in her tone or expression.

 

I shrugged. “He
has a girlfriend,” I explained grimly.

 

“What?” She
demanded. “For how long? And how do you know?”

 

“I don't know
how long,” I replied, trying to keep the sourness from my voice. “They came
into the restaurant, and it turns out she lives down the road from me,” I
pulled a face. “I saw him when I walked the dog.”

 

“And how are
you feeling about this?” She seemed to be coming more alive by leeching off my
misery, but I couldn't really complain considering the situation.

 

I shrugged non-committedly.
“I don't really know. It kinda sucks, but it's not like it actually makes a
difference to anything. Nothing would have happened anyway.”

 

"Would
nothing definitely happen?" Meg teased. I wasn't sure if she was just
rubbing in the fact that the guy I currently couldn't stop thinking about could
never actually be mine, or she genuinely thought I had a chance. 

 

I rolled my
eyes and tried not to show how much the facts hurt. "Obviously not. He's
my teacher. He has a girlfriend. It's not even worth thinking about." 

 

Meg smirked and
it made the red rings that framed her eyes stand out even more. "Doesn't
mean you're not going to be thinking about it." 

 

"Meg,"
I groaned. "Please stop." 

 

She opened her
mouth to give me a snarky reply when a figure walked around the corner. It took
all I had not to just run away as Mr. Wright's face appeared. As it was, I
turned a very unattractive shade of red at the possibility he'd heard what I'd
said about him. I tried to ignore my guilty blush and smirked at him. "I
thought you'd quit." 

 

"I have. I'm
here to make sure no one is smoking round the back of here," he explained,
giving me a pointed look.

 

I held my hands
up innocently. "I'm sure you can see that we're not smoking at all." 

 

"Right,
well it's time for lessons anyway. And you have English next." 

 

I scowled, then
glanced at Meg automatically. I'd kind of assumed we were going to just ditch
school today and do something that would make her feel better about the whole
situation. Ollie followed my eyes and his face fell slightly from the teasing
smile I realised he'd been wearing. "Is everything okay?" He checked,
concern lacing his voice as he refocused his attention on me, knowing I'd be
more likely to give him an answer. 

 

"Erm,"
I paused, meeting Meg's eyes. "Look, can you just pretend you didn't see
us here, please?" I begged, smiling up at him hopefully and trying to
channel as much 'lost puppy' as I could. 

 

Mr. Wright
sighed. "No, Maddie, I can't just do that and you know it." 

 

Sighing, I
tapped my foot whilst I considered what to say. "Meg got some, well,
pretty horrid news," I told him bluntly. "She shouldn't even be here
anyway." I meant that, she shouldn't be at school whilst having to deal
with having just found about something that dreadful. "I really just want
to make her feel better and go and shop with her or something," I
explained, hoping I wasn't upsetting Meg with anything I said. 

 

Ollie ran an
exasperated hand through his hair. "Maddie..." He trailed off, before
grimacing. "Fine, but you have to stop smoking round the back of here, the
teachers know about it. And if you miss more than one day of school, I'll find
some way of getting back at you." 

 

I beamed.
"Thank you. We really appreciate it." 

 

He waved me
off. "I hope you feel better soon Meg. You'd better not mention this to
anyone,” he warned me seriously as he walked away. 

 

I bit my lip
softly. "I won't," I called after him, before turning to Meg, who was
watching our exchange with a raised eyebrow. 

 

"I can't
believe he caved to your big eyes. You're never going to convince me that
nothing is going to happen between you now." 

 

Grimacing, I
flushed with horror that he might still be close enough to have heard her
comment. "You weren't ever going to believe me anyway," I replied,
refusing to get into this argument again. It was surprisingly depressing.
“Where do you want to go?” I asked her, knowing we needed to get away from
school before someone else found us and wasn't so lenient. 

 

Meg pondered it
for a moment before her face fell completely, the distraction of teasing me
apparently dissipated. “I don't really mind. Let's just go wander around town
for a while. Go to Costa or something.” 

 

I nodded and
glanced around before following her around the side of the building.
Thankfully, we timed it so that the bell was just ringing and so people were
everywhere for us to mix in with as we snuck onto the street.

 

When we reached
Costa, I pulled a face at Meg's large coffee. “I don't know how you can drink
that stuff,” I said seriously. “It just tastes bitter.”

 

She shrugged.
“I just got into the habit of it I guess. I drank so much it tastes all right
now.”

 

“I really hope
I never do that.” I didn't understand why so many drank the awful stuff. I took
a sip of my mango and passion fruit cooler.

 

I didn't really
know what to say now. I'd never been someone who was good at cheering people up
or knowing what to do in awkward situations. I was lucky that Meg broke the
silence, otherwise I'd have probably ended up saying the wrong thing.

 

“Guess what I
got my hands on for this weekend.” Her tone improved significantly with this
sentence and I raised an eyebrow.

 

“What?” I never
bothered to guess in these situations, and Meg knew that. She was just teasing
me.

 

“Some MDMA,” she
chimed, grinning ear to ear now.

 

I chuckled and
shook my head, though inside I was frowning slightly. “Is that really the best
way to deal with this news?” I was forced to ask, though I was rewarded with
Meg's face falling instantly.

 

She shrugged.
“I don't see why it wouldn't be. It's not like I'm ever going to be silly with
it. It's been three months since we last took it so it's not really a problem.
I just happened to be able to get hold of it for this weekend.”

 

Despite the
foreboding feeling I had about the situation, I couldn't help but grin in
excitement. “It's gonna be good,” I told her seriously. “Is Hannah coming out
with us?”

 

Meg shook her
head. “I don't think so, she's seeing Mike all weekend.”

 

I rolled my
eyes. “How long do you think it'll be before she realises being with him is
nowhere near as good as she was expecting?”

 

I elicited a
chuckle from Meg. “When did we become so cynical about relationships?” She
asked with a smirk.

 

I laughed. “I
don't think I've really had enough relationships to become properly cynical
yet, but she is being a bit over the top about it all.”

 

“So it's just
since finding out that Mr. Wright had a girlfriend, then?” Meg teased, causing me
to groan and bury my face in my hands.

 

“I just think
he's hot, okay!” I exclaimed defensively.

 

“Sure,” Meg
dragged the word out with a smug smirk. “Hey, is that your mum?” She gestured
out of the window, where my mum was talking to a man who looked about half her
age. His arms were bare so I could see that they were covered in tattoos,
despite it being relatively cold outside in the British September weather. I
watched warily as he held my sister.

 

Frowning, I
watched their exchange. My mum seemed somewhat uncomfortable with the whole
situation; her posture was stiff and her eyes were firmly fixed on Lily,
watching every movement as the man held her slightly awkwardly. I was just
about to go and see if she was okay when my sister was handed back and the man
went on his way. My mum showed a small frown on her face before placing Lily in
the pram and walking off.

 

“Weird,” I
commented bluntly when the display was over. “I've never seen him before.”

 

“There's no way
your mum slept with that guy,” Meg said, almost in awe. “He was ripped.”

 

I blanched. “No
way.” That possibility hadn't even crossed my mind. “Please don't tell me
that's true.” And it more than likely wasn't. I mean, my mum was attractive for
her age, but I doubted she even went places that people like that guy went,
never mind caught their attention compared to the people with perfect bodies
and zero wrinkles that would swarm around a guy like that. “Maybe he wasn't as
young as he looked,” I suggested hopefully. “I mean, I couldn't really see his
face properly from here.”

 

Meg nodded, her
eyes following the man, who'd just rounded a corner and was now out of our
vision range completely. “Or maybe he's like her friend's son or something.”

 

Meg was serious
in her comment and I groaned louder. Then a sharp laugh left my mouth. “My dad
definitely wouldn't dare to fight with that guy if he turned out to be the
father.”

 

Meg raised an
eyebrow and I conveyed to her the issue with my newly arrived dad.

 

“Pretty grim,”
she agreed with me, pulling my sleeve up and observing the bruise that was only
a small yellow splotch by now. “But, this weekend, we'll go out and forget
about all this rubbish stuff.”

 

I grinned. “I'm
definitely looking forward to it.”

 

 

Chapter Five

 

Meg and I
grinned at each other, smoothing out our dresses simultaneously and checking
each other's appearances to make sure we had nothing out of place.

 

“I'm pretty
excited,” Meg chimed, retrieving the powder from her bag and dividing it into
two on her dressing table after I'd checked the hallway to make sure her
parents weren't about to come upstairs. I wrapped mine in a Rizla and swallowed
it with the vodka and coke I'd been drinking and Meg didn't even flinch as she
snorted her line.

 

I pulled a
face. “Does it really not hurt?” I asked, already decided that I'd never snort
anything. Just watching Meg do it made me wince a bit.

 

She shook her head.
“It did the first time,” she told me. “And the back-drip is kind of gross
sometimes. But this is good stuff,” she gestured to the remaining powder which
she was arranging into another line. “And I snort really small lines, so I
can't really feel it. I've never had a nose bleed or anything and it just means
it hits me quicker.”

 

“I just don't
like the sound of it,” I dismissed.

 

Meg chuckled.
“You'll do it eventually,” she assured me, to which I couldn't even be bothered
to argue that she was wrong. “Now, got everything?”

 

We checked each
other over once more before grabbing bags, putting on painfully high shoes, and
exiting Meg's room.

 

“Are we meeting
anyone in town?” I inquired as we started walking into the city centre. Since
we'd not known exactly what time we were leaving, we didn't bother with a taxi.
It wasn't overly cold and I'd already drank too much at Meg's to really feel it
anyway.

 

“Nope, just us
tonight. That okay?” She replied, voice giving away that the drug was already
affecting her.

 

I grinned.
“That's cool.” Meg had several friends from her old school that she kept in
contact with and went out with regularly. I wasn't particularly keen on them,
though – they were excessive in their drug use and it wasn't something I wanted
to become involved in. I was happy with experimenting a few times a year rather
than every weekend.

 

We'd left it
until nearly half ten before we decided to leave the house so town was in full
swing – we already passed someone who was throwing up in a side street. I felt
my smile widening as the drug began to kick in and the music that drifted from
clubs pumped through me.

 

“Feeling good?”
Meg teased as she retrieved her fake ID from the bag, gesturing for me to do
the same as we approached our favourite club.

 

“Definitely,” I
replied, popping in a piece of chewing gum as I felt my jaw begin to clench
automatically.

 

Meg and I
danced until I was worried that I was becoming sweaty, a particularly
unattractive state I really didn't want to get to, and left Meg, who was very
much into dancing with a hot guy she'd found, to get a drink.

 

My head was
spinning, but in an extremely good way, and I couldn't stop the smile that
spread across my face. I wished the music was quieter and there was someone
here just so I could release my urge to talk, but I settled for trying not to
look completely off my head and ordered a double vodka and coke.

 

“I should
probably report you or something.” A smooth voice at my ear spoke, causing a
shiver to run down my spine.

 

I turned
sideways and found that Ollie's face was much closer than I'd anticipated. I
smirked, trying desperately to reign in the wide smile that longed to break out
over my face. I wanted to play it cool. “I'm sure you're not really supposed to
be here either,” I commented, trying to ignore how my heart had sped up, if
possible, even quicker.

 

“Touché,” he
murmured, moving from behind me to my side and waiting for the bartender to
have a free moment. “You're here with Meg and Hannah?” He checked, having to
lean close to me and raise his voice for me to hear over the music.

 

“Just Meg,” I
replied, gesturing to where she was on the dance floor, but then noticing that
she was watching where I was sitting to try and get my attention.

 

She winked and
allowed the guy she was with to pull her from the club when she realised I'd
seen her and I chuckled. “Guess I'm here by myself,” I laughed, happy that Meg
was happy – even if it was just because of a drug. She'd been taking her news
hard all week and I struggled to cheer her up. Hannah was better at it than I
was, but she wasn't always around since she had different lessons, whereas mine
and Meg's were similar.

 

“Would you like
to join me?” Ollie asked, surprising me slightly.

 

I raised an
eyebrow. “How drunk are you, exactly?” I teased, biting my lip as he chuckled,
but then releasing it when I realised what I was doing.

 

“Just trying to
be a gentleman,” he replied immediately, grinning as he turned to talk to the
bartender. “I'm here with my friends, though, I hope you don't mind.”

 

I shook my
head. “That's cool. Will they mind?” I had to check. I didn't want to have
wormed my way into their evening.

 

“Nah, it's
cool,” he assured, grinning and gesturing for me to follow him. “Please don't
bother mentioning you’re my student. I'll never hear the end of it.”

 

“Sure thing,
Mr. Wright,” I replied, smirking at him smugly as he sent me a warning look.

 

Ollie led me to
a group of three guys who were sat round a table on some sofas in the corner.
He introduced me to Harry, Jake and Danny and I made an effort to remember
which was which. I was introduced as a friend of Ollie's sister. I hadn't even
known he had siblings – but I supposed there was no reason I should have.

 

“How come
you're hanging out with us old guys anyway?” Jake inquired, raising an amused
eyebrow at me as I sat down heavily in a seat beside Ollie.

 

“My friend
ditched me to go fuck some guy,” I explained bluntly, pulling a face.

 

“She's probably
gone off with Max.” Harry said, leaning forwards so that we could hear him.
“He's just disappeared too.”

 

I felt a slight
amount of relief at that. At least if it was one of Ollie's friends that she'd
left with she wouldn't be in any danger. I probably should have been more
concerned in the first place, considering her mental state, but it was a risk
I'd made a few times now, so it wasn't really my place to stop her. “Cool.” I
didn't really have an answer for him and so decided to listen in on their
conversation instead. It'd be interesting to see Ollie when he was completely
relaxed.

 

They bantered
back and forth a lot and I gained from their conversation that none of his
friends were fond of his girlfriend Jemma, though it was only said in light
teasing ways. That made me somewhat happy, though I knew it didn't really mean
anything. I soon got restless though. “You guys are so boring,” I drawled,
tapping my foot up and down automatically. “I guess you really are old.”

 

Danny rolled
his eyes and Ollie regarded me carefully before leaning forwards and grasping
my chin between his fingers, bringing his face scarily close to mine. I could
feel my breathing hitch and hoped Ollie didn't notice how affected I was.

 

He sighed “How
did I not notice how high you are?”

 

I laughed when
he pulled back. “Aren't you supposed to have super observing skills as a
teacher?” I teased, knowing that he didn't actually care I was high.

 

I was rewarded
with a small shake of the head. “I wasn't expecting to have to be looking out
for if my students are high or not.” Then he paused. “No one at school actually
gets high at school, do they?”

 

“No, of course
not,” I chuckled. “We're not that rough compared to Oxford.” I mocked his
accent. I hoped I’d hid just how impressed I’d been that he studied at Oxford
when he told me during our night together. “It does mean I'm going to be
listening to my iPod in class now I know how shit you are at noticing things,
though.”

 

“Hold up,” Jake
interrupted, the three of them watching our interaction with raised eyebrows.
“She's your student?”

 

I couldn't help
but laugh loudly as Ollie's face heated up. “Look what you've done,” he whined
at me. “I was hoping to avoid this.”

 

I smirked.
“Trying to lie to your friends? Pretty sure that's against some kind of ethical
teacher code you're supposed to have.”

 

“Whoa, dude,”
Harry dragged out the last word. “Explain,” he demanded. “Come on, we all want
to know now.”

 

“Yeah,” I
agreed. “Hurry up, because I want to go and dance, but I also really want to
hear this.”

 

Ollie scowled
at me. “We just slept together one night in summer and then it turned out she's
my student.”

 

I smirked at their
impressed reactions. “Nice,” Danny commented with a grin. “Pretty hot.”

 

Ollie rolled
his eyes. “Please just don't talk about it anymore.”

 

“Does that mean
she's underage?” Jake pressed.

 

Ollie's cheeks
flamed. “I'm seventeen,” I offered a response, not sure whether they were
considering sixteen or eighteen as 'of age'.

 

“Pretty hot,”
Danny repeated, eyeing me up properly now.

 

Ollie noticed
and grimaced. “Let's go dance, then,” he muttered, standing up and offering me
a hand.

 

I took it
eagerly, waving to his friends as I allowed him to drag me into the crowd of
people.

 

“I was really
hoping that wasn't going to happen,” he grumbled as we moved together, much
closer than I ever thought we'd be again. “They're never going to drop it.”
Then he paled. “They might even tell Jemma.”

 

“Sorry, but you
were the one who said it,” I replied seriously, trying not to show just how
much I was enjoying the feeling of his large hands on my hips through the thin
material of my tight dress. “And they'd better not, she'll probably stop
tipping me.”

 

“I hope it
wasn't really too boring sitting there.” His tone was light hearted but I could
tell he felt a bit bad for me. My friend had effectively ditched me without
knowing if I’d find someone to spend the night with.

 

I chuckled.
“No, it was fun,” I told him honestly. “I'm just restless, well, you know.”

 

He nodded, his
fingers biting into my hips tighter as the song changed to a faster song.
“Yeah, I know,” he acknowledged. We’d only smoked weed last time, but Ollie had
admitted that he enjoyed doing other drugs too. No doubt that had stopped when
his ‘responsible adult’ policy started. “Just so you know, that's the only
reason I agreed to dance with you.”

 

I smirked and
moved my hands from resting on his chest to wrap around his neck. “Yeah, yeah.”

 

“You're really
not supposed to flirt with me this much,” he teased, though one of his hands
had moved to caress the bare skin of my back that was revealed by my dress. I
wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the feel of his hands on my body, but that
might have been a bit too obvious.

 

“Oh, please,” I
responded with a smirk, moving infinitely closer to him. “I'm high. I can get
away with anything.”

 

“Don't push
it,” he murmured, moving his mouth so close to my ear that I barely felt his
lips touch my lobe. I shivered in his arms and knew that he'd felt it.

 

I bit my lip
and grabbed a handful of his curly hair, guiding his face so that it was right
in front of my own. His pupils were almost as dilated as mine. “You're sure you
don't want me to push it?” I inquired, my voice much sexier than I remembered.

 

He groaned and
I was about to close the distance when a hand was shoved in between our faces.
With a grimace, I turned to scowl at Jake, who was looking particularly smug.
“Sorry to ruin the moment.” He didn't look the slightest bit sorry. “But we're
moving on to the next club. I'm taking it you're coming?”

 

Ollie was
equally as annoyed, I was sure, but he was better at hiding it than me. “Sure,”
he agreed, removing his hands from me, much to my disappointment, and linking
his fingers through mine as he pulled me through the crowd. He dropped my hand
as soon as we were at the exit.

 

I didn't bother
to ask where we were going next, and I couldn't quite bring myself to look up
at Ollie. I wasn't sure whose fault that little moment was; I was almost
positive it was mostly the alcohol and drugs' fault. Either way, I couldn't
quite face Ollie right now. He was still my teacher. It was hard, though, when
I was still buzzing and longing for physical contact.

 

“Maddie?” A
voice I hadn't been expecting to hear again called out to me.

 

“Oh, hey,
Connor!” I exclaimed, turning and seeing his attractive face and mop of shaggy
black hair walking towards me. “I thought you'd be in London by now.”

 

“Uni doesn't
start for another couple of weeks,” he was eying Ollie and his friend up. “I
didn't think you were eighteen yet.”

 

I smirked.
“When did that ever stop anyone?”

 

“It stopped
me,” he replied with a short chuckle. “Having a good night?”

 

“It's getting
better.” My urge to flirt with Connor was automatic when I was this
intoxicated. I'd spent a year crushing on him and it hadn't just disappeared
because Ollie was stood behind me. He was off limits, anyway.

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