Here at Last (16 page)

I reached across the table for JT's hand
,
and
he held mine, absent-mindedly running his thumb over
my knuckles before looking
up at me again.

“I haven't felt this way
about a woman since
I was with
her."

I felt apprehensive. “What way?"

“L
ike I could easily lose myself,” he answered.

I understood.
"
Y
ou're afraid of falling in love with me
and being
hurt again
.
"

JT nodded.
"
I think so
. I've been out here for the last hour trying to figure out what happened
in
there. It hit
on
an old nerve.”
He continued.
“When I
went
to my
therapist
, I realized that I was afraid to get emotionally involved with any
of the
women that I dated.
In fact, I picked women I
couldn’t
fall in love with, women who weren’t available.
After Lucinda, I felt too exposed.”

I closed my eyes. “The fortress," I
whispered
.

"What?"
he asked.

"Olivia. After I started working with you, she told me that you were a fortress.”

He
chuckled
. "I'd love to know how that conversation came up."

"
We were at lunch one day
, and
I was trying to figure you out.
It seemed like you were trying to protect yourself from something,
but I didn't know why.
" I looked into his eyes. "
Thank you for telling me
."

"Sophia," he was serious
, “t
rust
is an issue that I'm working on.
With trust comes the ability to let go.
I’ve already let go with you more than I have with anyone since Lucinda.
Please be patient with me."

I
squeezed his hand
.
"
It’s okay
.
We all
have our issues
."

He raised an eyebrow. "What's yours?"

I smiled a little.
"
For starters,
I have an inability to cry." He looked at me
curiously
, and I shrugged. "We'll hav
e to save that for another time."





When
JT and I went back to bed
, I wrapped my arms around him
.
We were both tired
and
fell asleep quickly
, awakening
around
nine o’clock
the following morning.
He smiled and kissed me
and wished me a Merry Christmas
before getting out of bed, and I stretched and dawdled
for a few more minutes
.

While he was showering and shaving,
I made a coffee cake
and
put it in
to
the oven
.
Once
he emerged from the bathroom
,
I
shower
ed
and dress
ed
for the day. When I left the bedroom
, I
found that JT had set the table for breakfast. On my plate sat
the
long slender box.

“What's this?" I asked him.

“I know your family opens gifts on Christmas so I saved it for this morning,” h
e smiled.
"
It’s for you.
Go
ahead
and
open it."

I sat down, and
he
settled into
the chair beside me. I removed the handmade bow and unwrapped the beautiful
copper-
colored paper
making sure not to tear it.
When
I lifted the lid off the box
, I found
a beautiful silver
-colored
necklace with three
round
diamonds
in silver-colored settings
– one in the center, one a few inches to the left, and one a few inches to the right.

“Oh, JT,” I looked up at him.
I hadn't expected anything this extravagant.
"
T
hese
are
real diamonds?”

He nodded.

“
This is too much,
"
I said
shaking my head.

He smiled.
"Try it on
."

Wrapping
it
around my neck, I
fumbled with the
clasp
before he
got out of his chair and
walked
up
behind me.
When I stood, h
e closed the clasp and
leaned
down to kiss me on the shoulder, running
his
hands down
my arms.

When I turned
to face
him, he said, “
It suits you
."

Putting my hand up to my neck, I walked
to the
full-length
mirror
behind
the
bathroom
door
to admire it
.
H
e had fabulous taste
.
I returned to the table and kis
sed
him
before sitting back down
. “
JT, I don't know what to say. It's beautiful. Thank you so much."

He beamed. "Good. I'm glad you like it.”

“I love it."

When t
he coffee cake was done a few minutes later, I pulled it out of the oven and cut wedges for both of us. Being vegan, I wasn't sure what to expect at the Christmas dinner with JT's family
s
o filled up on coffee cake
at
breakfast so that I wouldn't be hungry later.

When he saw me go back
for
my third piece, JT
had a sly smile on his face. "I know what you're doing.
You think you're going to starve at Denise’s house."

A little embarrassed, I nodded. "Maybe."

“
I’ve already taken care of it,” he assured me, laughing
.
“
There
wi
ll be food for you there. Don't worry.”

I laid my
half-
eaten
piece of coffee cake on the counter and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. A few minutes later, JT and I wrapped ourselves in our coats
and went out into the cold to celebrate Christmas with his family.

Chapter 16

When we arrived at Denise’s,
w
e parked at the head of the driveway, which put us near the kitchen
door
.
Carrying two bags of gifts, w
e
walked
directly into the kitchen where
we were
met
by
Denise
and
JT's mom
Darlene
. They were at once welcoming and curious, and I wondered what he had told them about me
and about us
.

Of course,
I had seen Denise once before
at the tapas bar
but from a distance
. I
noticed
the family resemblance at once. Their face
s were all somewhat angular
although
they
looked
different around the eyes. JT was the only one with dark hair and
bright
blue eyes. Denise had lighter hair and
brown
eyes, and
thei
r blue-eyed mother had
short
white hair.

There were hugs all around, and we wished one another a Merry Christmas. JT’s father, Tom, had been in the living room watching football
when
he heard all the commotion
and
joined us in the kitchen.
He reached out to shake my hand and seemed very warm indeed.

I could tell that the women had been working all morning,
and the spread on the table was
far greater than was necessary for five people
.
There were
candied yams, green beans, ham, a plate of cookies, a large salad, spaghetti, and a variety of other dishes. Not long after we arrived, everyone sat down at the table
. Tom and Darlene
occupied
the two heads of the table while Denise was on one side, and JT and I sat on the other
side
.
Darlene
said grace before we shared the meal.

Our plates went around the table, and each person sitting near
a
dish served the others. Flanked by candied yams and salad, I did the honors.
JT served the
spaghetti
, his mother the beans, and his father the ham.
Clearly, this
was a system that they had perfected
through
the years.

Darlene expressed how glad she was that I could join them. I told her that I hoped
that
I wasn't imposing on their Christmas, but they all insisted that they were happy
to have me
there. Maybe even
a little
relieved
although they didn’t say that
. It made me w
onder when the last time was that
JT had brought anyone home to meet his family. Was Lucinda the last, or had there been others?

The family seemed comfortable and pretty happy. Aside from Denise's divorce, she
appeared
to be doing
fairly well, and JT's parents seemed to get along just fine. This was different than the scene
that
I was sure was playing out at my parents’ house in New Jersey. Yes, the family would've gotten together. Yes, there
would
be a
morning
feast around the table. However, there
would be
few smiles
,
and
most of the
laughter
would come
from the kids.

This was a totally different environment than I was used to, and
I enjoyed
watching
JT's family
interact
. I ate my spaghetti, salad, beans, and yams and wished
that
I hadn't had so much coffee cake. I looked over to see
JT
watching me with a smile on his face.
He furrowed his brows quizzically. I shook my head slightly
enough
that no one
else noticed
.
When h
e reached under the table and squeezed my knee
, i
t surprised me so much that I dropped my fork on the floor
, and he laughed
.

Darlene said, “
JT
, would you please leave Sophia alone so she can
eat her
meal?"

I hadn't realized that she'd seen anything
,
but Denise started laughing.

“What happened
?
" Tom asked.

Denise
told her father
, "
JT
reached under
the table and squeezed Sophia's
leg
, and it
scared
her
to death
."
Then, she
walked over to the buffet and retrieved another fork, handing it to me.
“Sophia, he used to do that to me all the time.”

“Seemed like it was always
that
way
at the dinner table," Tom said, chuckling.

I glanced at JT
, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat
. “
W
ith
that
smirk
of his,"
Denise said,
"
h
e
could
get away with
just about
anything."