Heroine: California Dreamin' (19 page)

After breakfast, which I was allowed to consume in the common room, I wanted to go back to my solitary cell at the buzzer. A guard held me back and brought me outside of the block where I had to pick up my blanket and my toiletries. So I was being transferred. One floor lower the doctor expected me. I was happy to see him and laughed happily when he shook my hand.

“Did you have pain or excessive sweating last night? Panic attacks? Hallucinations?” he questioned continuously. I denied ever question.

“Strange. According to your blood count you are highly dependent. I’ve seen something like that only with people who simultaneously shot up methylene, mescaline and heroin. Actually, you are supposed to be dead.”

“You’ve forgotten psilocybin”, I replied absolutely calm. My arrogance had reported back. He looked at me over the rim of his glasses in surprise.

“Doc, I have not taken any drugs since last year and then only one single time”, I explained rather friendly. “Even that was an oversight. In Germany I studied clinical psychology and with a self-experiment I had received the wrong mixture. From the effects then nothing has remained permanent. The only thing is that I must not take any medication, not even pain killers. You understand, the mixture that I consumed changed the methylation of my DNA. That cannot be reversed. But as long as I don’t take anything to me I am completely healthy.”

God all mighty! I was fascinated about myself. Apparently I was shortly before lift-off. I felt really euphoric about how loose this fairy tale came over my lips. And the doctor seemed also quite impressed.  His eyebrows slowly wandered upwards. Then he cleared his throat after some time of silence.

“Oh well, that sounds plausible. Then we can return you to the regular jailhouse life. But we will keep you away from the junkies.” He wrote something down in his file and asked the officer who accompanied me to bring me back.

This time I was taken to another cell. Before that I had to wait in my solitary cell for a few hours until I was led into one of those cells with six beds. The common room was extremely busy because it was lunch time. I put my blanket on an empty bunk that was pointed out to me by a guard and then got in line on the counter. For a while I looked around for Estrella and Linda but I couldn’t find them. Only after lunch when the cell door was shut and locked behind us I got to know my fellow inmates. This time they were not whores but rather house wives, a sales lady and again a student. Christine was arrested because of tax evasion and the other three were also apprehended because of minor offenses.

All of them had one thing in common, I noticed. None of them had ever been jailed before and none of them could post bail that would have set them free. The first thing meant that no pecking order was set yet. With that the atmosphere in the room was somewhat more relaxed than in the cell where I had spent my first night. The women had already adjusted to the situation as far as this was possible at all because they had been here already for a few days. They were all rather educated that means they all had at least graduated from high school and had so far provided for themselves. That also applied to Kate, the student, who held a job in a supermarket, beside school, and kept herself above water in that way. She was the only white person in the room. All others were dark-skinned. Apparently the guards in this section paid attention to populate the cells with inmates of the same social status. With that they reduced the danger for assaults among the inmates. That I was here and not in the cell with prostitutes probably was thanks to doc Kensington.

All afternoon we sat on our hard bunks and talked with one another. I told them why I was here. In fact I concocted a story in which the subjects ‘prostitution’ and ‘drug abuse’ were missing. It was my version for this room.

Christine had opened her new dry cleaning business near Prado only a year ago. Her book keeping was a fiasco so it was easy for the tax investigators to have her locked up for tax offences for starters. Normally she would have been released for a small amount of bail but she just didn’t have the money for it. A few days ago she had asked her mother to help her out but she too didn’t have any money. At first she had tried to avoid to ‘surrender’ to a professional Bail Bond Service of which I heard for the first time. They demanded fees and she didn’t know how she could pay them back. When Christine was going to be released from jail she’d be as poor as a church mouse and had to start all over again.

I was curious and asked about the Bail Bond Service. When I understood that these offices paid bail as loans in return for immensely high fees I became restless. My credit card was still so far overdrawn that I couldn’t pay with it. But perhaps I could exchange Robert’s gold into cash money. Before my arrest that would have been totally out of the question because I was only entrusted with these assets. But now any means appeared right to me to get out of here. I decided that I had to make a phone call. Perhaps a guard would grant me another credit.

Pamela and Candy were girlfriends. Pam was caught when she drove home totally wasted. On the passenger seat sat Candy who was also drunk. When the cops dragged Candy out of the car she vented her anger about the treatment against the officers and on top of that bit one of them in the hand. For that she was booked immediately. Her story would have been funny if Pam wouldn’t have told us under tears and continuously how much she missed her little daughter who was now taken care of by Pam’s sister who at the same time tried to organize payment for bail.

I found it strange as I mentioned in between that none of them said anything about men in their life. Those were up and gone as in the case of Pam or they simply didn’t exist as with Candy, Christine and Missy who sat beside Christine on the bed. Only now I noticed that we sat in pairs on the lower bunks and I suspected that already close relations had been established between the women, relationships that went beyond regular pure friendships. I remembered a talk between Irene and me in which she mentioned that prisons would also pay very much attention to dividing up inmates not only according to their social status but also according to their sexual orientation. Why I have come to this cell I didn’t understand because after all I was a married woman. But perhaps the reason was found in the fact that I went to college.

Missy didn’t want to say anything but from the talks among the others I hear that she’d been arrested several times for shop lifting. Kate sat beside me. I liked the other four but until evening I befriended Kate. She was a bit younger than I was and came from Kansas originally. I asked where I would find Kansas on the map. They all laughed when they realized how little I knew the geography of the United States. Missy asked me if I never had to recite the fifty states in school. She always demanded that from her students. In that way I learned that she was a former teacher who got fired due to the lack of funds. Now she made ends meet with temp jobs.

After I narrated extensively about my home land – whereas I was unable to explain that I really didn’t know anything about the Oktoberfest – the round of talks dissipated and I retreated with Kate onto my bunk where we continued our talks. Kate’s long blond hair befitted her small pale face and her delicate figure quite well. The year before last year she’d dropped out of high school at her hometown in Manhattan. I was confused until I learned that Kansas also features a town with that name. Almost with no money when she started out she successfully made it to Los Angeles within a few months with the help of temp jobs she’d taken in supermarkets along the interstate. She always only stayed for a few weeks with each job and rarely stayed overnight in the least expensive motels. However she preferred sleeping in her ancient Dodge van which she had inherited from her grandpa. Kate’s destination was Hollywood and it was her dream to become a famous actress. Her idol was Andy MacDowell. Kate knew that this girl also made it from the rural areas to Hollywood all by herself and that she had great success there. Andy was the greatest ever for Kate.

The signal for supper interrupted the talks on the bunks. Later, when the doors had been locked again, we all met in the order we had already been used to. Kate found it quite natural to take place beside me unasked. I was glad to feel somebody that close to me. It made things easier to bear. We talked until the light was turned off and after that we continued talking in whispers while the other women started to snore.

Being in jail didn’t seem to be a big deal for Kate though she faced an indictment for assault. Her employer had reported her to police because she had injured the manager of a supermarket where she’d taken a job.

“The supervisor wanted to get into my pants all the time. A few days ago he groped me in the storage hall. So I broke his wrist and kicked him in the balls”, she said laconically as if she was talking about the weather in Kansas. I was impressed.

“How did you do that?” I asked still impressed. That she was a tough cookie I had noticed before. She was wild and the stories from her childhood showed me that she had survived some mean environment.

“That is something you learn on the streets. The boys taught me that. In return they could have their way with me.” She laughed when she saw my disbelieving face.

“That was a joke. I don’t fancy dudes. Not any more, that is. In fact I’ve learned that in high school. We had a female athletic teacher who showed us how you defend yourself against rapists and kidnappers. She taught martial arts and could handle even the toughest guy.”

“Such skills I would have needed too”, I sighed quietly. “Then I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

“What happened to you?” Kate asked back with a concerned look. “Didn’t you tell me that you were arrested because you didn’t have a driver’s license?”

“I’ll tell you perhaps later”, I blocked her question. “First finish your story please that is more exciting than mine.” I was not certain how far I could really trust her. She took me into her arms and stroked my hair.

“Everything will be alright”, she consoled me with her uniquely pragmatic tone of voice and then she continued.

“When they arrested me I refused to say anything. Otherwise they might have let me go and arrested that pig of a supervisor instead. But I wanted it that way. Because there is a witness.” She grinned.

“I’ve found a very good lawyer who specializes in claims for damages. It took me a while until I found the right one but it worked. He will sue the supermarket chain because it gave the supervisor the opportunity to lure me into a sealed off room. Or something like that. The best thing is that he doesn’t require prepayment. We sue for a substantial sum. Seven or ten million. If he wins we will share fifty-fifty.”

“And when you lose?”

“Not possible, after all I have a witness. The lawyer will interview her in his office and she will confirm my story. On Monday we have the next hearing scheduled. Until then the prosecution will have my colleague’s statement on the table and in no time the bastard will serve time in the building next to us. And I’ll get out of here and be rich. Then I have enough money to go to Hollywood again.”

“But you were there already why did you leave it?”

“I fucked up. I went to all possible studios and asked for jobs. But they wanted to see diplomas first. Without high school diploma and at least one year acting classes you don’t even need to bother applying. It is not like in the old days any longer when you only had to find somebody who liked your ass. What it means is: back to school. Besides that, Los Angeles is a totally different story compared to Kansas. It’s not that easy to find a job here where you can last. I wanted to survive with jobs in supermarkets again after the studios had rejected me. After searching for a few days I gave up. They only hire Mexicans or people they know. Instead I was accosted by some idiots in the streets all the time who wanted to hire me as a pro. If you asked me LA is the lowest. If it wasn’t for the studios I would never return there again.” I wanted to know more.

“But why exactly Prado? You could have gone home.” She laughed out loud and that woke up the other women in the room because they cursed. I had my doubts whether they were really asleep because in some adjacent cells things were pretty lively. Curses flew back and forth and some items rattled somewhere. This unrest affected our cell and the women became nervous. Kate was not faced by it.

“I didn’t want to go home any longer. My parents were constantly fighting with one another and when I informed them that I fancy women I could no longer endure it. They treated me like I had a mental illness. If they had money they would surely admit me to a psychiatric ward,” she growled enraged.

“Then I got to know a girl at Venice Beach. She was totally broke and in search of a place where she could crash for the night. The same story as with me. Ran away from home, wanted to become a movie star. I took her with me into my van. At night we parked on the parking lot of the supermarket, during the day we hung around the beach and tried to scrounge something. However after a few days a few pimps had apparently found out about us. They attacked us but we could flee with the car before they could break in. I drove over one of them but unfortunately I only caught his leg.” Her smile had something diabolical. I shivered a little bit.

“Do I scare you?” she asked.

“Just a bit,” I admitted. “But I am a very timid type in general. In a situation like that I probably would have panicked.” Then I remembered what I did to Robert. Then I was not in panic but rather full of hatred.

“I guess most women would be. My girlfriend was also totally beside herself; she cried continuously and wanted to go home as fast as possible. That was in Prado. And this is why I’m here. I delivered her at her parents the next morning. They have a nice home. Now I live in my van again all by myself. But at least here I’ve gotten a job. It is much easier than in LA. A social worker from the city had helped me with going back to high school. At least I was wise enough to pack up my class reports before I abandoned Manhattan. Now I am back in tenth grade and work towards my graduation.”

“Why don’t you live in your girlfriend’s house? Did you split up?” Kate looked somewhat sinister.

“When mom had accepted her with open arms and forgiven her everything I was not good enough for her any longer. And she also fancied boys more than girls. So we ended it. But now I have Meggie, the social worker.” Her facial expression relaxed again. But her relationship with Meggie was complicated also as I learned later. Because Meggie lived in an apartment with a steady girlfriend, a business woman. So Kate could only see Meggie when her girlfriend was gone. But in this way she could at least take a shower on a regular basis.

“Now it is your turn. I’ve talked long enough”, Kate finished her story. Then she pulled me close to her and I put my head into her lap. When she started to gently stroke my hair the knots in my belly dissolved and warmth would flood my whole body. I decided to trust her and described to her what had happened to me since I was abducted by Soto and Andrew. Kate listened quietly and only from the movements of her fingers that she had meanwhile extended to my whole body I noticed that she was emotionally involved. While I told her that Daniel didn’t want to see me any longer and that he was probably happy to get rid of me I broke out in tears. I still couldn’t believe that he let me rot here all by myself. Kate noted all of that without showing any emotions.

“Well, that is just a man. With those guys their sensitivity doesn’t reach beyond the tip of their prick. Just forget about him.” I was indignant but didn’t say anything about it. I wanted to have Daniel back and continued to sob for a while until I could continue with my story. Only when I told Kate what had happened to me last night she became restless.