Heroine: California Dreamin' (31 page)

Meggie’s phone number was easy to find at the municipality of Prado. She answered the phone after the operator had connected me.

“Ya hallo, who’s calling?” I heard a deep smoky voice.

“Hi, my name is Julie. I’m sorry to disturb you, ma’am. But I have a small problem. Last week I was in jail in Prado and I shared a cell with Kate Baxter. She’d told me about you. May I speak with Kate, please?” on the other end there was silence. Then I hear somebody clearing her throat.

“Kate is not here. I have no idea where she is and actually I don’t even want to know.” Meggie’s voice sounded hoarse as if she was sad.

“Please ma’am, perhaps you have any idea where she could be. I owe her something that I must return to her under any circumstances.” I probably sounded tearfully.

“If you want to give her money then you can bring it to me. Because she owes me plenty of money. Two weeks ago she took a hike with all my savings. I am broke.” She cried.

“This bitch. First she charmed the pants of me until I was losing my mind and then she pissed off with all my dough.”

“How much did she take?” I asked weakly. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“One thousand and two hundred bucks. I wanted to go on vacation with it.” Her crying increased to some vehement sobbing.

“I loved her so much. I spent the best time of my life with her. Only to finally learn what a bitch she is. How much money do you owe her?” Meggie had found herself again.

“Well, what should I say, my debts are rather on an emotional level than of financial nature. She had protected me …” I could never finish that sentence. If I told that woman in Prado that Kate and I lived together for some days and that Kate had stolen from me also, the woman might as well lose her mind.

“Did you report the theft to police?” I inquired quietly as if nobody was to hear it. Meggie didn’t answer. After an eternity she replied softly:

“No. I haven’t given up hope that Kate will return one day. It is impossible that she had only pretended to have such feelings.” Meggie choked a bit because she had started crying again. Suddenly it became clear to me that Kate was exactly a master in that: pretending to have feelings. Why didn’t I check that? I was sure I would receive the same answers if I contacted the girl with whom she had come from Los Angeles to Prado.

“Do you know the name of the girl Kate had come with from LA? Perhaps she knows where Kate is?”

“Oh, little Ruth-Mary. Well, she is just glad that she doesn’t see that bitch any longer.” Did I hear some jealousy in Meggie’s voice? I asked her to give me Ruth-Mary’s last name anyway. Then I said a friendly good bye to the betrayed social worker. Information provided me soon thereafter with Ruth-Mary’s family phone number. The voice of an elderly woman answered the phone. I asked her if I could speak with Ruth-Mary and she asked me back for my name. I told her that and then she inquired about the reason for my call. It was easy to quickly think of some story.

“Ruth was in my office in Los Angeles a few weeks back and received a physical. I couldn’t get a hold of her any longer because she had obviously moved. It took me quite a while until I could find out where she’s now living. I would like to convey to her the results of her blood work.”

“You may give me the results. I’ll forward them to her.”

“I’m sorry ma’am, but our regulations omit that. I must insist to speak with Ruth personally.” It was quiet on the phone for a while, then I heard steps, knocking on a door and then the voice from the phone again:

“Miss Ruth, phone call for you. A doctor from Los Angeles. She has the results of your blood work.”

“Hello, who’s that?” I heard a girl’s voice.

“Ruth, my name is Julie. I am in a desperate situation therefore I had to lie before to get you on the phone.” A door closed in the background.

“So, what’s up?”

“I am looking for Kate Baxter. She needs her medication urgently and I can’t get a hold of her. Since she had been with you I wanted to ask you if you know about her whereabouts.” A shrill laughter made me flinch.

“If I knew where to find that fucking bitch I would go there and blow her away.” I was speechless.

“Why are you so mad at her?” She laughed again.

“Ma’am, I don’t know who you are. But asking in that way tells me that you do not know Kate at all. In LA she had promised me this and that. I would be her great and only love. All she wanted was my money. That’s all she wanted.”

“Didn’t she go back with you to Prado?” I asked quite shocked.

“Yes, she did. But only because she knew that there was more money to be found. If my father wouldn’t have thrown her out she would still be searching for his hidden vault. I don’t know how I could fall victim to such a liar.” Ruth’s curses didn’t actually fit the plush ado that her nanny or whoever it was had put on.

“When you see her just put a bullet through her head. She doesn’t deserve anything else.” It clicked in the connection. Kate seemed to have left a trail of destruction. Quite similar to me, I thought. The only difference was that Kate knew what she was doing. I on the other hand stumbled unknowingly into the chaos that surrounded me.

The information that I had received from Meggie and Ruth alleviated me. It wasn’t my fault that Kate had run away. She had waited for the moment to know where my money was and then she decided to take it and scram. I was actually happy that I’d shown her where the money was.

Now I was in debt with about twelve thousand dollars – because Kate would probably never show up for the hearing. That made bail obsolete. But my moral guilt had changed into a financial dilemma. But that was something I could pay off with time. With a soft song on my mind I waited for the bus that would bring me back to the Caltrain station.

Two hours later I sat down in our house. The angst had returned like before. But regardless I didn’t want to leave the house again. After my return I had decided to face my fears and not to give in any longer. Otherwise I would run away from any little complication in the future. After a few breathing exercises I was calm enough to be able to think again. I had to leave my world of imagination; I had to return to daily life reality. I needed to sort out the chaos around me and the chaos in my head. Perhaps I could fix some of the damage. With that I quite well meant my relation to Irene. Not to see her anymore hurt me the most.

Kate was a nice episode that helped me to get over a lot of fears. I was even a bit grateful that she awakened me from my trance with her theft. What I didn’t like was the loss of my Chevy. Without a car I was lost. Should I still report it stolen? I decided against it and only drafted a note to the insurance to tell them that my car was scraped. I would inform the DMV later.

Then I started to put on paper what went through my head. Why didn’t I do that a long time ago? From my time of studies I knew that that could help. Until to the late evening I had jotted down on paper a big part of my adventures from the last few weeks. I would complete it during the next few days. One column on the right side of my writing had the headline ‘open actors’. Those were the things that weren’t accomplished in my life and needed to be processed. On top was the name ‘Irene’, followed by ‘Joe’, ‘Pete’ and ‘Ron’. After that I added ‘Bruce’. After thinking about it for a short while, I scratched his name again. Bruce was nothing and nobody that had to be ‘taken care’ of. He was simply a loveable friend. Kate? Gone. She was a nice memory with an ugly ending.

The positive side of this ending was quite clear to me. It had catapulted me back into reality. If she had stayed with me I would have drowned in emotions. In that way I could go back to work.

Pete and Ron were the easiest cases. I would say good bye to them shortly before my departure. Joe was dead. But if and when I could prove that he had been in jail at the night in question then that would help to solve one of the most important problems. My relationship with Irene.

Tears dropped on the paper before me when I saw her face before me. We had loved one another so much and I had destroyed this relation. This thought followed me like a demon ever since Kate was gone. During this night I left the light on and slept fully dressed on the couch, the Taser ready beside me.

In a dream I saw the jail’s corridor of Prado before me. Everywhere there were uniformed midgets running through the halls who drove little black kittens through the corridors with thick sticks. The kittens cried desperately and raced up the walls where they clang to the ceiling looking down with glowing eyes onto what was happening.

For breakfast I walked a few hundred yards to a cheap restaurant that offered excellent omelets including plenty of coffee at the price of only one. In thoughts I stirred the thin brown broth. In the corner above the entrance I saw a light blinking. A camera.

It clicked in my head. The dream! The corridor in jail. The kittens. It fell like scales from my eyes. Didn’t Kate tell me that they monitored the corridors with cameras? I paid and ran back home. I looked for the phone number of my temporary apartment in Prado on my computer. I was very happy that Kate had left the PC. It was too heavy to drag the old thing out; we had bought used only last year.

The operator of the County Sheriff Office connected me with a female coworker who was responsible for security. I explained to her that I had paid a short visit to their establishment the week before last and that I had been molested by a guard. That should be on the video recordings.

“Oh, it’s you”, she answered quite cool. “Yes, there are some recordings from the night in question. We’ve evaluated everything but there was nobody seen on the recordings who didn’t belong into the tract. Only the male nurse went into the cell where you were housed. Then there was no action all night long. Is that the information you wanted?”

“May I view the recordings myself? Or speak with Doreen’s colleague who was on duty that night?”

“The sheriff must approve that first. The contents of the recordings are confidential. Ma’am, we had two people from the FBI here who looked at these recordings. If there had been anything extraordinary you and we would know about that. Guaranteed.” I asked when I could call back again and then hung up.

Was Joe a ghost who could walk through walls?
‘Now, let’s not play crazy again’,
a voice in my head admonished me which was clearly a man’s voice. Jan. He would know how to deal with that.

I lasted to Sunday evening by renewing my attempts again and again to write down my thoughts on paper. Once in a while I fled my fears by walking to a mall or a café; but I avoided those that I used to frequent with Irene. When Daniel came back he took me into his arms.

“Where is Kate?” He laughed and hopped with me through the room.

“Gone. She said good bye the day before yesterday because she wanted to go back to Kansas.” My husband looked somewhat happy about that. That my Chevy was also gone he didn’t even notice.

“All the better. In the long term that would have been too much for us. Although I must confess that I will be missing her sweet fanny.” He grinned suggestively and I gave him an angry push so that he toppled over. We wrestled a bit on the floor then he held me tight and kissed me. We made love on the carpet.

“Darling, I have a surprise for you. We only need to take care of a few minor things and then we fly to Geneva.” Those news hit me like a cold shower. I just became aware that we would leave California forever. Later I also pondered that it was probably the best thing for me to get out of here. I wouldn’t be able to suppress my fears permanently. But wouldn’t it have been sufficient to find an apartment in another city? My emotions didn’t really mix with those rational considerations. I would miss this country, I was certain about that. It was already Monday evening when Daniel asked me about my Chevy.

“I sold it this morning. After all I can’t take it over to Switzerland”, I lied. He seemed satisfied. Apparently he was happy that he didn’t have to take care of it. On Tuesday I took the Caltrain to Pete. After we stretched out on his bed exhausted I carefully let him know that I had to go back to Europe.

“That’s a shame”, he commented. “I will miss you.” No stress, no scene, no threats. I had assessed Pete and Ron completely wrong. They never connected me to Robert’s death and would never put pressure on me.

“Would you tell Ron about it?” I asked him. He nodded.

“I will see him soon on the set anyway. He will miss you too.” Pete and I wanted to meet once more, then I would be gone.

The next few days passed by quietly, almost boring. We had no visitors, there were no parties anymore and when Daniel was in his office during the day I got bored at home most of the time or I wrote into my diary. If I wasn’t busy dealing with my angst that kept on appearing unannounced.

I called the sheriff’s office in Prado another two times but they didn’t want to show me the recordings from the night in question. That destroyed the last possibility to reestablish any contact with Irene. I would not be able to say good bye to her. I was too embarrassed and I was also too afraid that she would reject me if I went to her. That pain caused me two sleepless nights during which I pondered if there wouldn’t be any way to prove my innocence. I found none.

We had already packed our suitcases and thrown away everything that we couldn’t use any longer when I received mail from Kate. It was no letter from her that she had sent but a ticket. Kate had parked the Chevy in a wrong space in Los Angeles. It cost me two hundred dollars.  It reminded me to go to the motor vehicle department. Then the car was unregistered.