Hidden Truths (43 page)

"What do you mean?"

"I love you and Amy differently, and that's a good
thing, because you're different people. It doesn't mean I love one of you less.
Maybe I love Luke differently from how Hannah loves Josh and from how Tess
loves Frankie — not because Tess and Frankie are both women, but because each
of us is different from the others."

Nattie shuffled her papers, as if sorting them would bring
order into her jumbled thoughts. "Why haven't I heard about this before?
None of the books I read mentioned two women together."

"Because most people believe what they have and what
they think is the right way — and anything else must be wrong," Nora said.

A smile tugged at the corner of Nattie's lips. "Sounds
like Amy when she was stomping her feet, refusing to believe that her way of
doing multiplications wasn't the best way."

"Kind of like that." Nora laughed. "But
instead of stomping out to hide in the barn, adults come up with long
explanations about why anything but their way is wrong, unnatural, and
sinful."

Nattie paled. "The reverend preached about sin for a
whole hour today. Is that why Tess and Frankie didn't join us for church? It
must hurt them to hear people talk like that."

The compassion in Nattie's eyes filled Nora with pride.

"Does the reverend know?" Nattie asked.

"No." Nora caught Nattie's gaze and held it.
"No one can know, Nattie. Please keep this to yourself. Frankie and Tess
are our friends, and we need to protect them. Some people might not react too
well."

Nattie clamped her fingers around the sheets of paper.
"You mean someone might hurt Frankie and Tess... because they love each
other?"

"You never know what people will do, but it's better
not to take stupid risks."

"That's why they tell everyone they are cousins."

"Yes." Nora tilted her head and regarded Nattie.
"I know this comes as a surprise to you, but do you think you can accept
what I just told you? Can you still be Frankie and Tess's friend, without
letting your differences stand between you and them?"

"It seems strange to me." This time, Nattie looked
her right in the eyes. "But I guess I'll be fine once I have a little time
to get used to it. Life's also too short to throw away friendships."

Tears shot into Nora's eyes.
Oh, what a girl. It seems
Luke and I did everything right with her.
When she drew Nattie into her
arms, a sheet of paper fluttered to the floor.

Phin's image grinned up at her.

Nora lifted her brow.
She's drawing pictures of Phin?

"It's a wedding gift," Nattie mumbled into her
shoulder.

Touched by her thoughtfulness, Nora pulled her closer.

*  *  *

When Nora knocked, Hendrika opened the door inch by inch,
her reluctance clear.

At least she's not running away, like Amy.
Nora
stepped into Amy's room. She perched on the edge of the bed and smoothed her
hand over Amy's pillow. "Come sit by me for a moment."

Eyes wary, Rika sat next to her.

"Tess and Frankie are my friends, but you're quickly
becoming a friend too, and I don't want you to be uncomfortable staying
here."

"Oh, no." The brown eyes glowed, sparking with a
passion hidden beneath Hendrika's down-to-earth façade. "I'm not
uncomfortable. I really like it here. I also like Tess and Frankie. It's just
that..."

"What?"

Hendrika kept her gaze on the tip of her boots. "They
shouldn't kiss each other like that. It's wrong. Against nature."

The words weren't unexpected, but still they hurt. Nora bit
her lip.

"They're cousins, after all," Hendrika added.

Nora's mouth fell open.
She sees two women kiss and
that's what she focuses on?
At least this was one thing she could explain.
"They're not cousins, Hendrika."

Hendrika lifted her gaze. "They're not? But they said
—"

"I know what they said, but it's not true. Frankie and
Tess aren't related in any way, and I know they aren't proud of lying, but it's
the only way."

"The only way for what?" Hendrika asked.

"The only way to travel together and be affectionate
without giving people the wrong idea... or in this case, the right idea."

A sharp line dug itself between Hendrika's brows. "I
don't understand. Do you mean to say that they..." She lowered her voice.
"They are..."

"In love with each other, yes."

"That's... that's..." Hendrika rubbed her thumb
over her bottom lip. "I never heard of such a thing before."

"It's unusual, but it's not something you should hate
or fear. It's just love." Nora squeezed Hendrika's hand to make her look
at her. "Do you understand?"

Hendrika blinked. "I guess so."

"Mrs. Hamilton?" John's voice drifted up the
stairs. "There's a man here who says you ordered a box full of books."

"Just a minute," Nora answered. She stood and
smoothed wrinkles out of her skirt. "I don't expect you to understand all
at once. Talk to Tess and Frankie if you want. But please keep this to
yourself, or we might all be in danger."

Hendrika nodded.

Nora looked at her for a moment longer, then crossed to the
door.

"Nora?"

She turned around.

"Is Amy all right?" Hendrika asked. "She
seemed awfully upset earlier."

What a sweet girl, to think about Amy in a moment like
this.
Nora forced a smile. "She'll be fine. She just needs some
time." The door clicked shut behind her, and Nora blew out a breath. Now
if only her talk with Amy would go that well. Somehow, she didn't think it
would be that easy.

"
T
HERE
SHE IS! Finally!" Tess scrambled across the ranch yard when she saw Amy's
red mare come down the hill, the early-morning sun making the mare's coat and
Amy's hair glow. Frankie followed closely behind Tess.

Nora had just left for town, though. Maybe Amy timed it that
way — returning home when she knew her mother would be teaching school.

Tess drew her brows together. She had kept Nora company late
into the night until Nora finally gave up and accepted that Amy wouldn't be
home that night.

The way Nora had clung to Luke's favorite chair, seeking
comfort, told Tess how worried her friend was.

Tess worried too. But with every hour Amy stayed away, anger
outgrew her concern. How could Amy worry her mother so? Why had she and Frankie
been so careless? And, most of all, why was the world a place where being in
love with a wonderful person created such a mess?

The barn door opened before they reached Amy. Hendrika
stepped out, and when she saw that Amy was back, she leaned her pitchfork
against the barn and hurried over. "Where have you been?"

"Checking on the herd," Amy said. She dismounted
and turned away from Hendrika to check her mare's hooves.

"At night?"

Amy didn't turn but spoke over her shoulder, "By the
time I found every foal and every yearling, it was too late to head back, so I
stayed at a line shack."

"You promised me you'd be more careful," Hendrika
said.

"I am careful."

Hendrika's slim frame stiffened. "Staying out alone all
night is not being careful."

"She's damn right." Tess marched toward them.
"Your mother is worried sick about you."

Amy's whirled around. Hendrika turned too. Now both stared
as if Tess and Frankie were about to attack them.

Tess gentled her voice. "I know this is a lot to take
in, but running away is not the solution. It's incredibly thoughtless —"

"Thoughtless?" Amy's voice rumbled like a cornered
dog about to bite back. "You mean like you were thoughtless when you acted
on those unnatural urges?" The color of her face matched her crimson
bandanna. She wrenched her gaze away from Tess and pressed her lips together as
if she thought she'd said too much.

Tess ran her hands along the bell-shape of her skirt,
calming herself. Now was not the time for a shouting match and mutual
accusations. "Let's go inside and talk."

"Not now." Amy gestured to the bunkhouse. "I
need to talk to the men and get them started on —"

"Your mother already gave them their tasks for the day
at breakfast," Tess said. Nora knew her daughter well; she had predicted
that Amy would hide behind her responsibilities, so she had sent the ranch
hands off before Amy returned. "Come on. Let's go to the cabin and
talk."

Amy dragged her feet, but Tess resisted the urge to grab her
elbow and pull her along. She wasn't sure how Amy would react to being touched
by someone she now considered an "unnatural" woman.

Hendrika followed without a word. She wasn't a talker, but
Tess had a feeling that a lot happened behind those brown eyes.

The door snapped shut behind them, and Amy flinched as if
she were trapped.

They sat at the table. The leather of Amy's chaps brushed
Hendrika's skirt, and Amy pulled her legs back, then continued to fidget in her
chair. Next to her, Hendrika seemed calm in comparison.

She's good at hiding her feelings, but Amy clearly isn't.

"Listen, I know this is awkward as hell, but we've got
to talk about this." Tess tried to catch their gazes, but Amy ducked her
head. She glanced at Frankie and received a short nod. "You saw us kiss
each other, didn't you?"

Hendrika's gaze veered to Amy, then back to Tess and
Frankie. "Yes," she said, her voice a whisper.

A bitter taste spread through Tess's mouth.
My love for
Frankie is something that people only whisper about.
She shook off her
frustration and tried to keep her voice calm. "What did you think about
that?"

"Nora said you're not cousins, but still it's..."
Rika turned her hand back and forth as if trying to grasp the right word.

Amy lifted her head and stared at her. "You're not
cousins?"

"No. People just have an easier time accepting two
women being close when they think they're related," Tess said. "I'm
sorry we lied to you, but we've learned to be careful over the years."

"D-does that mean... that you are living together like
a man and a woman would?" Again, it was plain Hendrika who found the
courage to ask while Amy continued to stare at her hands.

Under the table, Frankie's hand found Tess's.

"No," Tess said. "We're living together the
way two women who love each other would."

The tips of Frankie's fingers slid over hers in a tender
caress.

In the silence, the cabin's old boards creaked and groaned.

When Hendrika and Amy stayed silent, Tess said, "Most
people who are lucky enough to find love find it with a person of the opposite
sex."

"Like Mama and Papa did," Amy said, her voice low
and her gaze still directed downward.

Tess's lips formed a tight line. Luke and Nora weren't the
best example, but she couldn't tell Amy that. "Yes," she said after a
moment's hesitation. "But every once in a while, there's a girl who grows
up and falls in love with another woman. Or, I suppose, a young man who falls
in love with another man."

"But..." A few tendrils of brown hair escaped from
their pins and fell into Hendrika's face when she scratched her head. "But
the Bible says —"

"I know what the Bible says." For most of her
life, Tess had been branded a sinner because the Bible condemned anyone who was
forced to lie, pretend, and sleep with other women's husbands for a living.
"But when it comes to this, I couldn't follow the words of a book or a
priest. I needed to follow my own heart." She waited until she read a hint
of understanding in Hendrika's eyes, then added, "I know the church
condemns it, and most people find it disgusting and sinful, but my love for
Frankie is the purest thing I ever had in my life."

Hendrika nibbled her lower lip. Her gaze flitted to Frankie,
and she opened her mouth but then closed it again without saying anything.

With a friendly smile, Frankie leaned forward. "If you
have questions, just ask. It's not possible for us to live our lives openly, but
I hope we're among friends here, so we'd like to be as open as possible."

The lip nibbling increased, but then Hendrika looked
directly at Frankie. "Is that why you sometimes dress in men's clothes? Do
you think of yourself as a man?"

Asking that took guts.
Tess gave Hendrika an admiring
nod. She had thought Amy would ask the questions while Hendrika would listen
timidly. Instead, it was Amy who looked as if the conversation was giving her a
bellyache. Hendrika's question made Amy flinch and smooth her hands over her
chaps as if afraid that her wearing men's apparel would get her lumped in with
Frankie.

"No," Frankie said. "I don't think of myself
as a man, and when we are together, Tess doesn't pretend I'm a man
either."

Thin lines carved themselves into Hendrika's brow. Clearly,
she had never before considered the possibility of romantic love between women.

Tess sent her a sympathetic smile. "I know it's hard
for you to understand, but part of what I love so much about Frankie is that
she's a woman. Women are wonderful." When she gave Hendrika a wink and a
motherly grin, Hendrika blushed, but a hesitant smile curved the corner of her
mouth.

"Many people won't see it like this, though,"
Frankie said. "We could be run out of town, beaten, or worse if the wrong
people learn about our relationship, so it would be better to keep this to
yourselves."

Hendrika nodded.

"I hope we didn't make you uncomfortable." Tess
looked from Hendrika to Amy.

"It's unusual."

"But?" Tess hoped that at least Hendrika would
accept them. Maybe instead of Hendrika following Amy's lead, it would be the
other way around.

"It's not my place to judge." Hendrika lowered her
lashes and peered at black-rimmed fingernails. "From the moment we met,
you and Frankie have been very friendly to me. I won't repay your kindness with
hatred."