His Love (15 page)

She did as she was told. After a few cleansing breaths, and the way his big, strong hands worked on the knots in her neck and shoulders, she began to feel better.

“You’re a godsend,” she murmured, letting her eyes slip closed as his hands worked magic. “Can you do that for, like, the next three hours?”

He chuckled softly and dropped another kiss on her shoulder, then kept massaging her knotted muscles. “I’m sorry you had a shite day,” he said. “But you’re home now. By the beach, with a man who thinks you’re brilliant and lovely. So sit back, relax, and let me find some fun ways to get your mind off your day.”

“Well,
you’re
the one who’s brilliant.” She grinned. “So I bet you can figure out a way or two to distract me.”

“That’s right. Told ya from the start, sweetheart. I’m a sure bet.” He worked the tension out of her shoulders, his powerful yet gentle fingers working continuous magic. After ten more minutes, she eased back against his chest, gripped his chin, and brought his mouth to hers for a sumptuous kiss. He cradled her in his arms, deepening the kiss until it flamed white hot.

Later, when they were tangled and sweaty in her sheets, and she lay languidly against him, he said, “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Sure.” She loved the way his fingers trailed with slow sweetness up and down her back, playing along her spine.

“You have a degree,” he began. “From a top school, I might add. You know your stuff. And ya now have a few years’ experience, right? So if you hate your job so much, why stay there? Why not get another one?”

“It wouldn’t be so easy,” she hedged.

“Nothing that’s worth it usually is,” he said.

“Ouch. But yeah, that’s true.” She sighed and shifted so she could better look at him while they talked. “I’ve thought about the kind of jobs I’d like to have, something to start a real career… but most things I want to do require an advanced degree.”

“How old are ya, again?”

She glanced at him, knowing he knew full well how old she was. “Twenty-eight.”

“Young. Unmarried. No kids.” He gave a quick nod. “Go do it. Get your advanced degree.”

She blinked at him. “Just like that.”

“Aye,” he said firmly. “Why not?”

“The money, honey.” A faint frown creased her features. “I don’t have enough.”

“Your family wouldn’t help ya?”

“Of course they would. If I asked. Which I won’t.” She shook her head adamantly. “They paid for my undergrad degree, in full, so I wouldn’t have loans. Very generous. Yes, they could—my dad’s a surgeon, my parents are comfortable. But I’ve watched my sister take and take, always asking without a second thought… I won’t take another dime. No way.”

“Admirable,” Gavin murmured, now tracing along her jaw with gentle fingers. “What if you took out a loan? Think you’d be eligible?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess so? Never really looked into it.”

“Maybe you should. Just a thought.” His hand trailed down her neck, then her arm, slow and leisurely. “I just hate seeing you so riled up over your job, that ya hate it so much. You’re not tied to anythin’ yet, Toni. Now seems like a perfect time to pursue change, if you wanted to. You can do whatever you want, if you think about it.”

She rolled onto her back, exhaling a weary sigh. “But I don’t know what I want.”

He stayed quiet. Leaning up on one elbow, he merely gazed down at her, brushing her hair back from her face with gentle sweeps of his hands.

“I love art, even though I’m no artist myself. I love the history of it,” she said. “But… there’s got to be more for me to do. Something more. I don’t know.”

Gavin remained silent. She wasn’t sure if he was just letting her talk and being a good listener, or if he was judging her and holding back from saying so.

“Did you always know you wanted to be a doctor?” she asked.

“Pretty much. I like helping people. I like helping others, period.”

“Aha. Well, you’re good at that. You’re a natural.”

“I suppose.” He half-grinned and added, “Helps that I’m not afraid of blood.”

“Ugh. True.” She sighed. “It’s nice to have that kind of focus, that kind of drive. I never have.”
Liar
, a voice inside her whispered.
You did have it, before Mike beat it out of you, made you think you weren’t good enough to cut it in the art world. You took the easy road as a result. Now you’re miserable.

“There’s all different types of people in the world, Toni,” Gavin said. “That’s what makes life interesting.” With a casual shrug, he added, “If ya don’t know what you want, that’s fine. It’ll come to you when the time’s right, I’m sure.”

A tiny spark of irritation flared in her. “Well, thanks for trying to help me figure out what to do with my life. But I’m not a quick fix. Sorry.”

“What?” He frowned hard and said, “I wasn’t tryin’ to fix you, Toni. I was merely throwing out suggestions. Listening to you. Being a sounding board, kickin’ around ideas. That’s all.” He held her chin firmly, looking right into her eyes. “For the record, I don’t think ya need fixin’. I like you just as you are.”

Her heart felt swirly in her chest. “Thanks,” she whispered.

He lowered his mouth onto hers for some sweet kisses. “Hey now, I’ve a wholly different idea,” he said, eyes bright. “What if you travelled for a bit? You said ya wanted to. Could you afford that? Even if it’s only for a few weeks? Sometimes new scenery inspires you, gives you a new perspective.”

“And where should I go?” she asked coyly, interlocking her fingers behind his neck. “Hmmm… Ireland, perhaps?”

“Aye, that’s a grand idea.” His smile was wide and playful. “Truthfully, I think you’d love it there. Both Dublin and the countryside. I mean, you love art, and you love history; Ireland’s chock full o’both. Museums… castles… ancient relics…”

“It does sound tempting. Would you be my personal tour guide?”

“Of course! Like I’d let any other man near ya.”

She huffed out a laugh. “My, so possessive! And here I thought this was just a casual fling.”

She’d said it to tease, but the smile slid off his face and his eyes shuttered. He pulled back from her only a bit, but it was like his whole body withdrew. “You’re right,” he muttered. “Sorry.”

“Oh, come on, I was just teasing you,” she said, rubbing his arm. He quirked a stiff grin and looked away. What was with him? Her eyes narrowed, peering closer at his face. “Hey, Doc. I was only teasing you. Because this—us—we’re a short term deal. No strings. I know that.”

He nodded and murmured low, “Aye. I know, too.”

The air had grown still, pulsing with muted tension. She didn’t know what to say. Apparently he didn’t either. Finally, he kissed her mouth, then got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked, sudden anxiety pulling at her insides.

“To my room. Time for bed, no?” He pulled on his shorts, his back to her.

She sat up in bed, holding the sheets to her bare chest, and stared at him. “Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad,” he said, turning to face her. He leaned over to her nightstand to retrieve his glasses and put them on. “Just tired. And it’s late, and you have to get up for work in the mornin’. So, time for bed.”

She watched him cross the small room to the door. In their rush of lust, she’d pulled his T-shirt off over his head and threw it mindlessly. He plucked it from the floor and held it in his hand as he looked at her again. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Frustration bubbled in her stomach. He was upset, but she wasn’t sure why. And if he wasn’t going to tell her why his mood had changed, there was nothing she could do. “Okay. Good night, then.”

“Good night, Toni. Sleep well.” He opened the door and paused there. Standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but those shorts hanging low on his narrow hips, he looked sexy and weary and a little sad. She wanted to pull him back into her bed. “I hope you have a better day tomorrow,” he said.

“Thanks. Me, too.” She pushed her tangled mane back from her face. “Will we hang out tomorrow night? Maybe go for a walk on the boardwalk, get some ices?”

“Sounds grand.” He still paused, staring at her, and she could feel his mind whirring from across the room. But finally, all he said was, “Good night.” And closed her door behind him.

With a harrumph, Toni flopped back down onto her pillows and curled up in her blanket. Gavin’s scent, masculine and appealing, lingered on her sheets. She breathed it in, savoring the smell of him. His frowning face flashed in her mind. She hated that somehow she’d upset him. All she’d done was say how they were a casual thing, that there were no strings attached… and he’d quietly but definitely withdrawn.

Not wanting to overthink the implications of that, she closed her eyes and did some deep breathing until she drifted off to sleep.

*

Toni hadn’t been
able to shake the bad vibe all day. She’d spilled coffee on her pale blue tank dress early in the morning, she didn’t want to be at work, it was sticky and hot in the city, she didn’t know what she wanted to do, she’d pissed off Gavin last night… it just wasn’t her day.

She couldn’t get the look on Gavin’s face out of her mind. It was eating at her. She’d finally figured out what she’d seen flash in his eyes for a brief moment: hurt. He’d hid it well, but she’d hurt him, and that wasn’t sitting well with her at all. If only she knew what to do to make it better.

Her phone rang, and she was so distracted she didn’t look at the caller ID before answering. “Hello?”

“Hi, remember me? Your mother, the woman who gave birth to you?” Maria’s Long Island accent seemed to get even stronger when she flung the guilt barbs.

“Hi, Mom,” Toni sighed. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much. I was wondering if we were going to see you again anytime soon. You haven’t even called since July fourth weekend.”

“I’ve texted you. Dad, too.”

“It’s not the same. Call me old school, but I like to hear your voice.”

“Okay, Old School. Sorry.”

“So, Miss Wiseass, will you come have dinner with your father and me this weekend?”

Toni closed her eyes. She only had so much time left with Gavin, and wanted to be with him as much as possible until he left. “Sorry, Mom, but I can’t. I have plans.”

“Oh. I see. Well, that’s fine.” Toni knew that tone and braced herself. Maria Victoria Parinello Westmore was a master guilt wielder. “I guess your father and I shouldn’t take it personally. You are a grown woman, after all, with a busy social life. Going out drinking with your friends and lying on the beach is far more important than seeing your family. I understand.”

“Jesus, Ma! I just saw you guys! Knock it off,” Toni spat. “I’m having a crap day, I don’t have patience for your shtick today. Go guilt someone else. I’m sure Belle’s around, go bother her.”

“You all right?” Maria’s voice changed, concern flooding her tone. “Crap day? Why? Wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really,” Toni said on a sigh. “I’ll be fine. Just one of those days.”

“Uh huh. Okay. Well… I hope it improves.”

“Me, too.” She paused. “Mom? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Um… wait, hold on a second.” Toni went to the ladies’ room and spoke quietly so she wouldn’t be overheard. “If I quit my job here, what would you think?”

“I think you need to have a new job to go before you quit,” Maria said.

“If I didn’t… if I just…” She didn’t know how to say it, because she wasn’t even sure what she was asking.

“Antonella.” Her mother’s voice was firm. “That job, that gallery? Was never right for you. You can do so much more.
Be
so much more. You’re just a glorified assistant there. You’re too smart, too educated, for that. So I think if you want to leave, that’s a good thing. But you should get a new job first, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I agree,” Toni said. “But what if I don’t know what I want to do?”

“Then take some time to figure it out before you quit, I think. You need to be able to pay your rent, to eat…” Maria’s voice trailed off. “What brought this on, honey? Did something happen?”

“Something happens almost every day,” Toni mumbled.

“Honey… just think before you act. You don’t, usually.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I’m not saying that to be mean!” Maria exclaimed. “It’s a fact. You know it.”

Toni sighed. “Okay. I have to go.”

“Wait! So can we see you this weekend?” Maria needled.

“I told you, I have plans.”

“What’s so important that you can’t carve out two hours for dinner with us?” her mother demanded. “I’d like to know.”

“I’m kind of… seeing someone,” Toni heard herself say.

“You are? Oh! Well, that explains it a little better,” Maria said. “But still, why can’t you come and just—”

“He’s here on vacation,” Toni said with a flare of annoyance. “He’s from Ireland. From Dublin. And he’s going back in about ten days. So I want to spend time with him while he’s here. Okay, Nosy Pants?”

“Oh.” Maria was silent, and Toni could imagine what she was thinking. “Well. How’d you meet him?”

“He’s my friend Anna’s brother.” Toni decided to emit the detail that he was also her housemate for the time being. “His name is Gavin. He came to visit for a few weeks. She’s on Long Island, and their brother Sean lives in the city.”