Hold On (27 page)

The feel of soft kisses on my exposed back, coupled with the smell of a man who is
freshly showered lulls me gently out of my sleep. When I look at the clock I see it’s
already after ten. I roll over and face Julian who has a big smile on his face.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

I give him my best scowl. “I’m mad at you, so stop trying to make me smile.”

He arches his brows. “Mad at me? Why?”

“Because you lied to me. I’m naked in bed and you’ve already exercised, probably worked
and showered. We were going to spend the day in bed, remember?”

He chuckles, leans over and kisses me softly on the lips. “I did run, I have worked
and I did shower. You know me well. I also brought you coffee, croissants, fresh fruit,
and a donut.”

My stomach starts to growl.

“You were in trouble until you uttered the word donut, Bauer. Donuts are my guilty
pleasure. I can forgive anything when a donut is involved, especially if it has chocolate
in it or on it.”

Julian leans in closer, runs his tongue across my bare collar bone and whispers, “I
thought I was your guilty pleasure. All those things I plan on doing to you tonight
… maybe some of those will make you feel guilty. I guarantee they’ll make you feel
pleasure.”

I grab his face, put my lips on his and press tightly. When I pull back I can’t help
but tease. “It’s really about the donut now, Julian, but I’m anxious to see what you
have in mind.”

I try and pull him closer to me, but he kisses me quickly and backs away.

“Not now. I know I said I’d like to stay in bed with you all day, but I’d really like
to see more of the island and maybe head to Captiva for lunch. We can come back and
spend the afternoon on the beach. Sound good?”

“Not as good as your naked body pressed against mine in this bed … or my donut, but
it’ll do.”

He laughs as he walks out of the room and it makes me grin from ear to ear. After
a quick trip to the bathroom, I get dressed and follow him out. He’s lying on the
porch in the hammock talking on the phone. I grab my chocolate donut and coffee and
join him. I stand above him and look down at his tan, muscled body. His shirt is riding
up a little and I can see the smooth muscles of his tight abdomen peeking out.

“If you want me to stop thinking about sex, you shouldn’t look so inviting, Julian.”

I say it loud enough for him to hear, but hopefully not whoever is on the other end
of the call.

He smiles and puts his hand over the receiver, “I’ll be off in a minute, it’s Ruben.”

I wink at him and sit down on the lounge chair next to the hammock. He reaches over
and runs his fingers down my legs. It tickles and it turns me on. Julian wraps up
his conversation and when he hangs up he looks at me seductively. I know that look.
I’m tempted but take a pass.

“No, not happening. You got my naked body out of bed with the promise of coffee, donuts,
and a field trip.”

I point at him and make a circle with my finger. “Get those thoughts out of your head
for now and get up. We have plans.” I reach down and grab his hand to help him get
out of the hammock. Not that he needs my help, but he lets me. When he’s in a sitting
position he wraps his arms around my waist and puts his face against my stomach. He
kisses my belly and looks up and smiles.

“Te amo, Lexie.”

My heart swells. “I love you too, Julian.”

We have a fantastic day in Sanibel sightseeing, shopping, and eating lunch. We decided
earlier in the day to go to Captiva for dinner and to listen to live music. Julian
made reservations for us at eight so we wouldn’t miss the sunset, so we have a few
hours to kill before we go. I know what I’d like to do with those few hours, but Julian
pretty much shuts that idea down and for some reason I’m unable to entice him into
a little afternoon delight. He keeps telling me we have plenty of time tonight to
get busy. He doesn’t use those exact words, but it’s what he means.

I’m feeling a little sticky from being outside all day so I get in the shower and
get ready for our night out. I have the time, so I spend it getting my hair just right.
I put on a little makeup, and paint my fingernails while Julian takes a shower and
takes care of a few work calls. When I’m done I look at the clock and see it’s still
only five forty-five. We need to leave at seven-fifteen to get to Captiva for dinner
so we have more than an hour to waste. I slip into the turquoise, black and white,
tie-died, high-low maxi dress I brought and put on a pair of black, Tory Burch, thong
flats. I walk out to towards the water and look at shells while I wait for Julian
to finish getting ready. I’m down the beach a little ways when I see what looks like
a wedding taking place a hundred feet away. A white canopy is set up near where the
sand meets the water and about twenty guests are witnessing the nuptials. I’m drawn
to the image and find myself trying to get closer without being intrusive.

I’m so lost in my thoughts and the scene unfolding in front of me that I really don’t
hear Julian walking up behind me. I don’t turn around until I hear my name.

“Alexa …”

His voice is soft and gentle. When I turn around, my heart skips a beat. Julian Bauer
is on one knee in front on me. His smile is as bright as the sun reflecting off of
the calm, blue ocean to my left. Oh. My. God. I literally feel weak in the knees and
I start to tremble.

“Julian?”

“It’s okay, baby. Don’t freak out. I have a question I want to ask you and it’d be
better if you didn’t pass out first.”

His gentle teasing and awareness of my body language calm me a little. But, just a
little. I can’t speak so I give him a slight nod. He reaches up and takes my hands
and starts rubbing his fingers gently over the tops of them in a soothing way.

“I had a big speech planned for when I did this and I’ve been running through it in
my head over and over for weeks. I wanted to do the grand gesture and come up with
the most original proposal ever, but when I saw you standing here, with the ocean
behind you and the wind blowing through you hair, I knew it had to be now.”

I nod again.

“Te amo, Lexie. I love you and I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I want to
marry you. I want to be your husband and the father of your children. I want to be
your best friend. I want to spend the next seventy years telling you everyday how
much I love and treasure you for the beautiful, strong, loving woman you are. You’re
the one, Alexa Reed. I knew it the moment I met you and I don’t want to wait any longer
to start our future. Will you marry me?”

I want to ask him if he’s sure. I want to tell him it’s too soon. I want to tell him
he can’t take this back now that he’s said it. I want to tell him I’m not sure I’m
worthy of this kind of love. But, more than anything else, I want this man to be mine,
forever. So I push all the negative thoughts I have out of my mind and focus on the
beautiful, perfect words that just came out of his mouth. I sink to my knees before
him, place my lips on his and whisper the word he wants to hear, “Yes.”

I don’t realize I’m crying until Julian gently wipes a tear away with his fingertip.
He kisses me passionately for a minute and then pulls away. He reaches into his pocket
and pulls out a black ring box.

“Well then, I guess you get to have this, mi amor. I hope you like it.”

Julian hands the box to me and I take it with my trembling hands. When I flip open
the box, I’m at a loss for words. Inside is the most gorgeous ring I’ve ever seen.
I might be a little biased because it’s about to go on my hand, but it’s awesome in
every sense of the word. When I look at the ring it reminds me of how well this man
knows me. We’ve never talked about wedding rings yet he picked out a ring, a dream
ring, I would’ve chosen for myself.

It’s a five stone ring, set in platinum. The diamonds are all emerald cut with the
center stone looking to be at least three carats. The setting is a simple stair-step
design with two more diamonds on each side of the center stone. The rest of the band
is a smooth finish. It’s classy and elegant and ridiculously expensive. I can’t believe
this is happening. I look up at Julian who’s waiting for my response.

I somehow find my voice. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I’m so
honored you want me to wear it, Julian. It couldn’t be more perfect.”

I let him take the ring out and slide it on my finger. It fits like it was made for
me. When I look down at the sparkling beauty on my left hand I can’t help but giggle.

Julian puts his finger under my chin and forces me to look up. “Something funny?”

“This is a pretty grand gesture. If I walked into the ocean right now I might drown.”

That makes him laugh and he takes me in his arms and holds me tightly. “I’d save you,
baby.”

I pull back and look at him with nothing but love in my eyes.

“You did, Julian. You did.”

Our dinner plans get thrown out after the proposal as we silently agree that going
back to the cottage and celebrating is a better idea. On the way back down the beach,
I glance at Julian and really take in what he’s wearing. He has on white linen, drawstring
pants and a turquoise-blue linen, short-sleeve button down. He’s wearing dark brown
leather flip-flops and looks like he just stepped out of a Tommy Bahama catalog. He
looks so handsome and I tell him so. He points out that we match again, like the day
at the beach when we were both wearing the same color swimsuits, and says I look beautiful
as well. He tells me that again as he slips the dress over my head and lays me down
on the bed. He undresses himself and lies down next to me. When I look into his eyes
I see something I’ve never seen before. A depth of emotion is there that’s new to
me. I put my hand on his cheek.

“Julian, the look on your face is different than I’ve ever seen. I know what you look
like when you want me, but this is different?” I pose it like a question.

He nods slowly and pulls me to him. Our faces are so close the only thing separating
our mouths, are the breaths we’re taking.

“You just agreed to marry me, to be my wife. I’ve never felt closer to you than I
do right now. Any distance between us is too much. I want to devour you.”

His words touch my soul. They turn me on too, but the connection I’m feeling is so
much more than physical. It always has been. I’ve felt a deep-down soul connection
to this man since the minute we met. And I agree with him, any distance is too much.
I want him to devour me, to consume me. I want him to entwine his heart and soul with
mine so there’s no place where he starts and I end or vice versa. I want to be one.

I don’t have the words to tell him how his love makes me feel so I do what I can to
show him with my body. We spend the next few hours literally wrapped up in each other
in every way possible. It’s just the two of us, blending together and taking the next
scary, but wonderful steps toward our future.

A few hours and orgasms later, I actually start to feel weak from hunger. I’m not
in the mood to go out anymore so we call in for room service. While we wait I decide
to ask the questions that are still running through my mind. I look down at the ring
on my finger and then back up at him.

“Why me, Julian?” I feel like I’m in a dream.

He pauses for longer than makes me comfortable. “Never mind. You don’t need to answer
that.”

He smiles warmly at me. “I want to answer. I just want to say it the right way.”

“So I don’t freak out?” I poke a little fun at myself.

“No, so you get it. There are a ton of reasons it’s you. You’re smart, ambitious,
and witty, and always keep me on my toes. And although it took some getting used to,
I love your flair for the dramatic. You’re passionate and you do things big. You work
hard and you play hard and you love hard. I’m attracted to your strength, the strength
only you don’t see.”

He reaches over and touches my cheek.

“Before I met you my life was good. It was full of work, friends, my family, and a
lot of women. I kept looking for the one who would make me feel like I couldn’t live
with her. I dated all types of women from all types of backgrounds and tried to make
one fit, but they never did. Nobody ever fit until you came into my life and turned
it upside down with your smart mouth and sexy shoes. From the minute you touched me
I knew I wanted more and it grew the more time I spent with you.”

He pauses for a minute. “Should I keep going?” Um yes, please. I nod and smile.

“All my life I’ve heard that when you meet the person you’re supposed to spend the
rest of your life with, you just know. I thought that was bullshit. I thought it was
a total choice and we all just had to find a person who was a good fit for us and
who we could see ourselves growing old with. I continued to think that until you ran
into me in the stairwell and I realized it wasn’t about a choice at all. I know it
sounds corny, but I know you were chosen for me. So, to answer your original question,
me doing this, asking you to marry me, isn’t just a choice. It’s a necessity. Being
with you has always felt right, you feel right, even when things are tough. I knew
you were the one I was supposed to be with from the beginning, but I didn’t know why.
When I think about it now, I see how much it mattered to both of us to be put in each
other’s lives when it happened. We’re meant to be together, Alexa Reed. I know it
with everything that I am.”

Julian leans over and kisses me softly, his lips warm and moist against mine. He pulls
back and smiles.

“Oh, and this is the best sex I’ve ever had.”

I don’t even try and hide the tears of pure, undiluted happiness that have started
streaming down my face. There’s nothing else he could say that would make me feel
more loved, and more wanted than what he just said. Since the beginning, he’s had
no problem saying how he felt and all I can think is how thankful I am for that. I
want to tell him how I feel about him and hope I’m as articulate.