Hold the Roses (29 page)

June 1961 was a big month in more ways than one. On June 19, we filmed
the pilot of The Dick Van Dyke Show. It was perfect from the opening
scene. We did it with a live audience, and when the filming was over, Sheldon
Leonard, our executive producer, told us that the show had been sold!
Representatives from Procter and Gamble had been in the audience and
had loved the show. They said they would sponsor it.

In those days, the sponsors were the important ones to please, not the
networks as it is today. We were all so thrilled knowing we would be on the
air in the fall of 1961 on CBS! Jim Aubrey, president of CBS at the time,
decided to do a promotional tour for the three new shows going on in the
fall season. I was chosen to represent The Dick Van Dyke Show. Tony
Martinez would represent The Real McCoys, and Sterling Holloway, the
great British actor, would represent Our Man Higgins. The latter show was
about a butler and Sterling was the star.

We were to go from town to town to promote the shows-Milwaukee, Denver, Cincinnati, Cleveland, and five other cities. We would be
wined and dined by the manager of each station, after which we would go
to the TV studio and do local promos. In one town, the station manager
took us to dinner and said he loved The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Real
McCoys, but he didn't buy Our Man Higgins.

I asked him, "Why not?"

He said, "I don't think the people of this town would like that show,
so I didn't put it on the fall lineup."

I was shocked! I said, "You didn't think the people of this town would
like the show? You think for all the people in this town, this state?"

He said, "Yes, I know what they like!"

I couldn't believe it. Here was a man who could make or break a
situation-comedy show. He could ruin the career of an actor starring in a
sitcom. That one man could ruin so many lives. Good God! I don't know
why I dwell on this. Perhaps it is because the networks are doing the very
same thing today and, as a result of this kind of thought process, very few
shows on television are even worth watching. It's unbelievable what knowit-ails think they know.

In any event, we went to Cleveland to the TV station and started our
promos. Tony went first for The Real McCoys. Mr. Holloway stayed at the
hotel. After Tony, it was my turn. They put the chair in front of the camera
and I heard, "Action."

I started, "Hello, my name is Rose Marie."

A voice from somewhere said, "Is that Baby Rose Marie?"

I started to laugh and then said, "Okay, I'll start again. `Hello, I'm Rose
Marie and I'm going to be on a new show called The Dick Van Dyke Show."'

This voice came on again-from God knows where: "Dick Van
Dyke .... Is that a big star, or a new star? What is a Dick Van Dyke?"

I laughed again and said, "Who is that?"

"The director in the control room!"

I said, "Let's get this over with, I want to meet you."

He said, "Come on, honey, I want to meet you too."

We started the promo again. This time I got through it without any
interruptions from the control room: "Hello, I'm Rose Marie. I'm going to
be on a new show called The Dick Van Dyke Show. It will be on this channel
at 9:30 P.M. Wednesday evenings. You'll love it. Be sure and watch it."

I heard, "That's it."

I said, "Where is this guy? I want to meet him."

Out came Tim Conway, a short, balding, cherub-faced man with a
big smile. We shook hands and I said, "You're very funny."

He said, "I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, but I knew you'd have a
great sense of humor."

I said, "I hope so. Tell me, what do you do around here beside trying
to be funny in the control room?"

He said, "A little of everything. I direct, write promos, and work with Ernie Anderson. We do all the lead-ins on the show. We host a horror
show one night a week, and we do some radio."

I said, "Wow! Do you have anything I can see?"

He said, "I don't have any video, just audio."

I said, "Let me have at least one. I can't promise anything, but I'm
going to see what I can do. You're really very talented."

He thanked me, gave me his home address, phone number, and one
audio tape. That was it.

I finished the rest of the promo tour and got home to California. I
told my husband about meeting this "funny little man."

He said, "Let me hear the tape."

I had never heard it, so we sat down and listened to it. It was hilarious. It was about two sportscasters at a baseball game that was rained
out. They keep trying to sign off and have the guys in the studio take
over, but everybody at the studio has left, so there's all this dead airtime
that needs to be filled. You have to understand that when broadcasters
"are out in the field" doing their broadcast, from time to time they will
send the viewing audience "back to the studio" for news or other sports.
These guys kept talking about anything and everything they could think
of. It was brilliant.

My husband said, "Sign him up."

I said, "What?"

He said, "Sign him up. You can do wonders for him."

I said, "I don't know anything about being a manager. I'm lucky I can
handle my own career, much less someone else's."

He said, "You know enough about this business to handle him. It's
always easier to handle someone else! Do it. You can give him the biggest
break of his career."

I said, "I'll try."

I didn't do much of anything for about a week. Then I heard that
Steve Allen was doing a new show and was looking for some new guys. He
had Don Knotts, Louie Nye, and Tom Poston. He had already made them
famous and he was now looking for new guys. I heard he was at the theater
across from the old NBC on Vine Street, so I went over.

Steve was there, along with a lot of people walking around and looking quite busy. I saw Steve sitting in the audience, so I walked over and
said, "Hi, Steve."

He said, "What are you doing here?"

I said, "I heard you were looking for some new talent and I think I
found a great hunk of it in Cleveland."

He looked at me as if I was crazy. I had never done anything like this
before, so I was a little apprehensive. I continued, "I have an audio tape of
his, please listen to it and let me know what you think."

He said, "Okay." I went home feeling funny about the whole thing.

By the time I got home, the phone rang and it was Phil Weltman
from the William Morris Agency. He said, "Steve liked the tape and wants
the one guy." (Tim had done the audio tape with Ernie Anderson. I thought
about the old show business curse-we like you, but not your partner!)

I said, "He has to come from Cleveland, so let me call him and see
what he says." So I called Tim.

Tim was thrilled and said, "You take care of it."

I said, "I'll call you back."

I then called Phil and said, "He'll come out for the show. $1,000 and
a first-class roundtrip ticket from Cleveland. After all, he might not want
to stay here, since he has a good job in Cleveland."

Phil was furious. He said, "$1,000? Are you crazy? Nobody knows him."

I said, "You do and you want him!"

I then called Tim back and made the arrangements. He came out,
did the show and was terrific. God bless Steve Allen. He knew talent, and
he was always willing to help anyone he thought might have some.

Let me explain-Tim's real name is Tom Conway, but George Sanders, the British movie star, had a brother named Tom Conway who was
also a prominent actor, so we changed Tom's name to Tim Conway.

Everything went well, and Tim returned to Cleveland after the show
was done, back to his old job. Phil Weltman called a few days later and
said, "Steve wants Tim for the next six shows."

I said, "Fine. Same deal-$1,000 a show and first-class transportation for two!" Tim wanted to bring his wife, Mary Ann.

Of course Phil fumed and barked, but finally he said, "Okay."

So Tim and Mary Ann came out to California. Now, I had something else to worry about-two people instead of just one. Where would
they stay? How would they move around? I had to look after them.

Thank God things worked out. Tim and Mary Ann found a place to
stay and quickly learned their way around town. Tim did the six shows with
Steve and was even better than before. Everything was happening so fast.

I told him he had to sign with an agent. I, as the manager, cannot get the jobs for him. The agent has to do that. A manager only handles the
deals and makes sure that the performer stays "a nice guy." It's always the
manager who is "the louse"-which didn't bother me at all. I told him to
sign with the William Morris Agency. We called a meeting at the Morris
office and I told Phil Weltman to look after Tim and take him on personally, but to check with me on everything that came in for Tim. Phil didn't
like the idea, I'm sure, having to take orders from me on Tim's career, but
that's the way I wanted it.

A call came in from Max Liebman from New York. They wanted
Tim for some big variety show. Phil Weltman called me and I said, "Fine,
but I want to see a script to see what they have in mind for Tim."

Max Liebman sent a wire back saying, "Tell Rose Marie not to worry
about the script. I'll make sure he's taken care of properly."

I had to laugh, because Max Liebman had been the producer of Your
Show of Shows with Sid Caesar-and here I was, asking for a script. Talk
about a smartass. At any rate, the deal was made. If memory serves me
correctly, they paid him $1,500 plus first-class fare. (I always ask for that!)
Of course, Tim was wonderful on the show and he was really starting to
make a name for himself.

One day while I was working on The Dick Van Dyke Show, a call came from
Phil Weltman. Universal Studios was doing a new series called McHalec Navy
and they wanted Tim. I read the script and thought it would be great for him.

I okayed it and told Phil, "Don't sign him to an exclusive contract
with Universal. Just get a contract for the show itself, because if anything
comes along like a movie and he's signed with them, they can get away
with paying him the same money he's making on the series. If he just has a
contract for the series itself, he's then in the position of a free agent and can
negotiate the price for a movie." That was exactly what happened. For
once Phil didn't balk at my request, and he signed Tim to a contract for the
series only-for about $1,250 a week. When the movie was discussed,
Tim was in the perfect position to name his own price, and he did$25,000! I was so proud of him. He was doing just great.

On top of all this, Tim and Mary Ann became parents! Mary Ann gave
birth to a healthy baby girl and they honored me by asking me to be godmother to Kelly, a beautiful baby who grew up to be a very lovely young lady.

When everything is going well, something always happens. My husband got sick in December 1963. It was the roughest time of my life. This
horrible time is explained in another chapter. Bobby remained in the hospital and he was getting worse instead of better. I was trying to work on The Dick
Van Dyke Show, having Tim's career in my hands, and worrying about my
husband. I was truly overwhelmed and unable to handle all of this.

I talked with Tim in detail and explained to him why I couldn't be his
manager anymore, but I assured him that, thank the Lord, he had a good
agency in William Morris and-I thought-a good agent, Phil Weltman.

Who, I'm sorry to say, turned out to be the biggest S.O.B. of all time.
I called Phil and explained to him why I couldn't be Tim's manager anymore.

All he could say is, "What about the contract?"

I said, "Tim can have it. I don't want anything. Just make sure you
treat him right."

The next thing I knew I got a check for about $800 as a settlement
for Tim's contract. I thought nothing of it at the time, and just said to
myself, "Okay." Sadly enough I never saw Tim again. Never heard anything about him, and we didn't keep in touch. Even to this day I don't
know what happened.. .it just ended.

In the meantime, I was so wrapped up with my husband's illness.
When he passed away in May of 1964, it felt like the end of my world. I
still had another year of The Dick Van Dyke Show to do, and I don't even
remember half of what went on during the next year.

At some point, I got a call from Mary Markham, who was booking a
lot of game shows and who was wonderful to me. She kept me doing game
shows to keep me busy, because when The Dick Van Dyke Show went off
the air in 1966, I didn't want to work anymore. I thought I couldn't sing
anymore or do any of the things in my career that I had done prior to my
husband's passing. I think I was in a state of shock for over a year, but
Mary, God bless her, kept me going by making me do game shows. They
were easy and kept me from going bananas.

One day she called me about a new game show called The Hollywood
Squares. They wanted me to be one of the six regulars-the show would
have three guest stars each week. I did the first two pilots of that show. One
had Bert Parks as host, the other had Sandy Baron. They finally decided on
Peter Marshall as MC, which was the best idea yet. We went on the air and
the show turned out to be very successful.