Hold the Roses (31 page)

He was in the hospital for about six or seven weeks and he wasn't
getting any better. If he were home and not getting any better, I could
understand, but he was in a hospital. I told everybody that I didn't think
Bobby had hepatitis and that I really didn't like that doctor. Bernice and
Harry Ince, who were with me, said, "Get another doctor if you're unhappy with this one." I didn't know where to turn. None of us had ever
been sick enough to have a regular doctor. I called up the doctor and said
that I wanted to talk to him.

I went up to his office to see him. I sat down and he said, and I quote:
"I think your husband has cancer of the liver."

I said, "What does that mean?"

The doctor's answer: "He'll die very soon."

I was in shock.

He then said, "I want to do an exploratory and find out what's going

I said, "You don't know? You just think? No, no, don't touch him, I
want to get another doctor." And I walked out.

I went to get my car in the parking lot and saw a phone booth. I
called my mother. She was in Florida visiting my brother and his family. I
told her what the doctor had said and she said, "How dare he talk like
that?"

I said, "Mother, you better come out here. I can't handle this alone."

She said, "I'll be right out. I'll call you tonight and tell you what
plane I'm coming on."

I said, "Thanks, mother," and hung up.

Driving down to the studio, I never stopped crying. I kept thinking,
Oh my God, what if he does die? No, no, I mustn't think like that, he's too
young. He's forty-eight years old. He's never been sick, outside of a cold now and
then. He can't have cancer-he lives too well. Morey was waiting for mebless him-and he said, "What's wrong?"

I told him what the doctor said and he said, "Jesus, he has no right to
talk like that. I'm going to call Jerry Lewis, he must have a great doctor. If
anyone has the best doctor, it's Jerry."

So he called Jerry and told him what was going on and Jerry wanted to
talk to me. I got on the phone and told him what the doctor had said to me.

Jerry said, "S.O.B., what kind of doctor says things like that?"

I said, "Jerry, I don't know what to do."

Jerry said, "A Dr. Marvin Levy will call you in five minutes. Tell him
what you told me. He's your new doctor. You'll like him. Besides, he's the
best."

I said, "Thanks, Jerry, I really appreciate it."

He said, "Do you need any money?"

I said, "No, I don't think so, Jerry."

He said, "If you need any money and don't tell me, I'll never talk to
you again."

I couldn't help it, I started to cry, and again I said, "Thanks, Jerry."
You wonder why I say he's a special angel to me? Just wait-there's more!

Dr. Levy called right after I hung up and he said, "Tell me everything."
I started from the beginning and told him what the doctor had said.

After I was through, Dr. Levy said, "He had no right to talk like that.
What hospital is he at?" I told him and he said, "Meet me there tomorrow
morning at ten."

I said, "Okay, and thanks." The next morning at ten, I was in the
hospital. Dr. Levy was there. We went up to Bobby's room. Dr. Levy went
in and said to me, "Stay here until I call you."

He walked in and said, "I'm Dr. Levy. Jerry Lewis sent me. I'm so
glad you're in California. He usually sends me all over the country for his
friends." I heard Bobby laugh, and I knew they would hit it off. Bobby was
so disgusted with the other doctors that every time he saw another doctor,
he would cringe. Nobody seemed to know what the hell was wrong. I
waited outside while Dr. Levy was examining Bobby. Then he called me in
and said, "We have to get this boy well."

I said, "Yes, and the sooner, the better."

Dr. Levy said, "I want him out of this hospital as soon as possible."

I asked, "What hospital do you want him at?"

He said, "Cedars or UCLA. Which one do you want? I'm on the
board at both."

This sounded a lot better to me. Then he said, "I personally would
like him at Cedars-it's closer to my office."

I said, "Fine."

So we made arrangements to move him to Cedars. I called the other
doctor and told him he was off the case. I felt better having Dr. Levy in charge.

When we got to Cedars, it was so different from that face-lift hospital. I know Bobby felt better about the move, and so did I! I forgot to
mention that Jerry Lewis knew Bobby. Bobby played first trumpet on the
soundtrack of most of his movies. Jerry Lewis called Bobby every two or
three days, and visited him frequently. Jerry kept in touch with Dr. Levy
every day!

Dr. Levy had everybody at Cedars on their toes. He had his blood
checked, and he had specialists look at Bobby. No one could figure out
what was wrong. Dr. Levy said it was an overpowering blood infection.
Where? Why? When? No one could figure it out.

I asked if it was leukemia.

He said, "No. That's the first thing we look for." Dr. Levy thought
that it might be something that had lain dormant for a long time and
suddenly popped up. I said that I didn't know. He was a healthy man. I
couldn't understand it-nobody could.

I know for a fact that Jerry Lewis told Dr. Levy to get in touch with
all of the specialists in or out of this country and to send Bobby's blood to
them. Maybe then someone could find out what was wrong. He said that
he would pay for it. I only found this out about a year later! I will never
forget his kindness and thoughtfulness at the most horrible time of my
life. I hear people talk ill of Jerry. I don't care what anyone says to me, he
came through when I needed somebody badly. I will be grateful to him
forever. He is truly one of my special angels.

They continued to take tests and finally thought that maybe because
Bobby had had diverticulitis awhile back, perhaps the poison from that
might have gone to the blood. It was like having an earache or a toothache-one thing didn't relate to the other.

So on with the tests, all kinds. I was at the hospital every day. I stayed as long as I could and then I would go to the studio. They were wonderful.
They understood that I had to be at the hospital, so when I finally did go
into rehearsal, they would tell me when and where I had to move. All of
them helped me get through the shows. After taping, I would go back to
the hospital and stay until eleven P.M. or twelve midnight and go home.
Thank God my mother was with me. She cooked and looked after the
dogs. I felt very secure with her at the house. I missed Bobby's mothershe had died the year before. Some days my mother would go with me to
the hospital. How I got through the shows, I'll never know. It was like I
was in a fog.

Bobby was holding up pretty well. Some days the blood would come
up a little and then go down again. Everything connected with the bloodthe platelets, the hemoglobin, and so on-was down. They even tried a
bone marrow test, but nothing really helped that much.

This went on for quite awhile. Our lives were so screwed up. I didn't
know if I was coming or going. I showed up at work on taping day, never
rehearsing. I was at the hospital eighteen hours a day. Noop went down to
the hospital maybe once a week. She couldn't take looking at her father
getting thin and looking awful. They tried everything. Finally Dr. Levy said
he would operate to see what was going on with the blood. Dr. Levy was
keeping it on an even keel, but that wasn't fixing the problem. So they set
a date and they were going to remove the spleen. It was taping day for me,
so you can imagine how I felt. My mother stayed with Bobby at the hospital and I stayed with him until 6:00 P.m. I raced to the studio, got made up
and dressed, went over the script and we did the show. I swear I don't know
how I did it. I told everybody that the doctor would call and to please let
me talk to him no matter what. Sure enough, Dr. Levy called right in the
middle of the show and said that they had removed the spleen and that he
had no cancer anywhere. That was a big relief. Levy said, "I'll get that guy
well, I promise you."

That helped for a little while. Then they decided that they should
remove the infected intestine Bobby had from diverticulitis. It really had
nothing to do with anything, but they thought if they removed the intestine, the blood might clear up. They planned it for the next morning!

I went to work-I was supposed to do The Tonight Show with Carson.
When I got to the studio to rehearse, I called The Tonight Show people and
said I couldn't make the show because they were going to operate tomorrow morning on Bobby and I wanted to be at the hospital with him to night. We started to rehearse The Dick Van Dyke Show, and I got a call
from Carson.

He said, "I can't get a replacement. You have to do the show tonight."

I said, "I can't.... I'm not in the right frame of mind. My mind is on
Bobby and the operation tomorrow."

Johnny said, "You've got to do the show tonight. You're leaving me in
a hole."

I said, "Okay, I'll be there."

So after we finished rehearsing The Dick Van Dyke Show, I went to
NBC to do The Tonight Show. Johnny was waiting for me and he said, "I'm
glad you came." We did the show and I guess when I don't feel good or
when I'm scared, I get very funny. So it was a great show for me.

After it was over, Johnny said to me, "You feel okay?"

I said, "Yes."

"See, I had to make you do the show to get your mind off the operation for a little while. Now you can go to the hospital and stay up with
Bobby to watch the show."

I said, "Thanks, Johnny. I truly appreciate what you did."

He kissed me on the cheek and said, "Give my best to Bobby. I'm
sure everything will be all right."

What an angel he was to me. I will never forget his thoughtfulness
and kindness. He's quite a classy guy!

I went to the hospital. Bobby and I watched The Tonight Show and it
came off fine. I told him what Johnny had said, and Bobby also said, "He's
a helluva guy."

I went home and prayed. I was at the hospital the next morning and
Bobby was fine after the operation. Dr. Levy said he might go home soon.
They had the blood under control and he'd be better off at home. I was
dumbstruck. Nobody had said anything about going home. Wow! I was so
happy that he was well enough to go home. We had to go twice a week to
the doctor's for shots. As long as he was doing all right and he was home,
that's all I cared about. So we made arrangements to come home. It felt
wonderful to sleep beside him again.

That went on for about two months. We went out to the movies and
we even went to the Grammy Awards, because I was a presenter. And we
went to the doctor's office twice a week. The Emmy nominations came
out-I was nominated for Supporting Actress in a series. They didn't have
separate categories for drama and comedy then. So I was up against dra matic actresses-one of whom was dead! This was my second nomination;
I had lost out the year before to an actress who was also dead!

Bobby didn't feel like going. He told me to go with Richard Deacon.
I said, "No, I'd rather stay home with you because I am not going to win
anyway-I'm not dead yet. Seems all the dead people get the awards." We
watched the award show and sure enough, another dead actress won. I can
tell you honestly, it really didn't bother me. Bobby was home and getting
well and I was happy.

One night we were watching TV and Bobby said, "I'm going to bed,
I really don't feel well."

I said, "I'll call the doctor." I called Dr. Levy and told him Bobby
didn't feel good and wanted to go to bed and that he ached all over.

Dr. Levy said, "Give him a sleeping pill and make him go to bed
early." I told Bobby what Dr. Levy said. He got undressed, but with a lot of
pain in his arms and legs. I had to help him. This was something new. He
had never complained about pain before. I got undressed and we both lay
in bed watching TV, but he was very restless. He couldn't find a position in
which he was comfortable. My mother made some cinnamon twists and
came into our room and we had tea and the twists. Still Bobby was not
comfortable, and he was getting edgy. I gave him the sleeping pill, put out
the lights and we kissed good night. I wrapped myself around him, but it
hurt him to have me touch him. It was like his nerves were on edge. So I
went over to my side of the bed and he was still restless. He moved from
one position to another, he tossed and turned-the sleeping pill was not
working.

I called Dr. Levy again and he said, "Give him another sleeping pill and
keep me posted. I got him well once before and I'll do it again." The sleeping
pills didn't work. We were up all night. Finally at 8:00 A.M., he was in agony.

I called Dr. Levy again and he said, "Get him to the hospital."

I said, "He can't walk-everything hurts him."

Dr. Levy said, "Call an ambulance."

So I called and told my mother to go with him in the ambulance and
I followed in my car. We went to Cedars Sinai. It was 12 noon.

At 1:30 P.M., Levy came out to me and said, "I need you." He took
me to Bobby's room. There must have been seven people in that room
working on him.

He looked at me and said, "Hi, Mommy."

I said, "Hi, sweetheart.... You do what they tell you."

He said, "I will Mommy.... Sure do love you."

I started to cry and Dr. Levy pushed me outside and said, "I needed
you-we were losing him. He's fighting now."

I went back to my mother and told her what was happening. She
said, "He'll be all right, don't worry."

All of a sudden Bill Loeb came to the hospital and sat with my mother
and myself. At 5:10 P.M., Dr. Levy came out and said, "We lost him. It was
an overpowering blood infection."

I yelled and screamed and said, "I want to see him!" He took me into
his room. I kissed him and I passed out. The date was May 27, 1964.

The next thing I knew, Bill Loeb said he'd drive us home. I was in
shock. I didn't know what was happening, nor did I care. I had lost the love
of my life. What was I going to do without him? I couldn't stop crying. We
arrived home and Noop was doing her homework.