Hold the Roses (28 page)

Gordie also recorded a song I wrote with Ruthie Bivona. She was Leo
Robin's sister and Leo was a great lyric writer. I guess Ruthie got the talent
from the same place that Leo did. We were having dinner at our house
with Gordon and Sheila MacRae, George and Alice Gobel, and Perry and
Ginny Botkin.

Gordie said, "We're going to record next week. Did Van Alexander
call you?" Alexander was the arranger and conductor.

Bobby said, "Yes, Gordie."

"We're having trouble finding another song for the fourth side."

Bobby said, "What kind of song are you looking for?"

Gordie said, "A nice ballad."

Bobby said, "Well, Roe wrote a beautiful song called `One Misty
Morning."'

Gordie said, "Can you sing it or play it?"

I said, "Yes, I can do both."

I sat at the piano and sang the song. He loved it and said he'd record
it. What a wonderful thing to do. I just had to go down to the recording
session of course, where I heard the beautiful arrangement of my song by
Van Alexander. What a weird feeling to hear twenty-eight men play a song
you wrote! And Gordon sang it-and I mean, he sang it. He had such a
great voice and really sang the hell out of it. It didn't sell very well, but I
was ever so grateful to Gordon for doing that-he was one of my angels!

I told you about Gleason and how we both did club dates for five dollars
a night. He turned out to be another one of my angels and a dear, dear friend.
I was working at the Band Box in Los Angeles. He came in quite a bit, because
it was a club where all the comics would meet, talk, and tell jokes. Among the
regulars were Joe Frisco, Eddie Foy Jr., and whoever else was in town.

One night Gleason came over to me and said, "I want you to do my
new television show."

I said, "Fine."

He said, "I'm not kidding-and I'll pay you more money than you've
ever gotten for a TV show."

I said, "Oh sure. I've had so many promises and nothing happens."

"Well, this time you're wrong, honey," he said, "because we go back a
long time and I think you're one of the greats of our biz and I'm gonna
make sure you do my show."

I said, "That's wonderful, Jackie, thanks."

He said, "What's the highest salary you've ever gotten on a TV show?"

I said, "Twenty-five hundred dollars."

Jackie said, "Okay, I'll pay you five thousand dollars."

We both laughed and I forgot about it. Sure enough, he started The
Colgate Comedy Hour in New York and I got a call for the show. And yup!
He paid me $5,000! I wound up doing his first and last show of every
season. Then he got his own show in Florida, and I did his first and last
show of every season on that show, plus we would do numbers together. I
did sketches with him. He was great to work with. He hated to rehearse, so
we'd do it once and that was it. And it was always great. We did "Razz-AMa-Tazz"-a song and dance. We did three Durantes-Gleason, Art
Carney, and me! What a great bunch of shows they were. Through the
years, I would drop him a line and he would always answer me. I really
loved that guy. He was a very special friend and an angel to me!

Another angel and friend was Johnny Carson. There was a PTA picnic at Egremont one year, but nobody knew Carson-this was before he
got The Tonight Show. Somehow we wound up together at a picnic tableJohnny, his first wife, Bobby, and I. He had his boys enrolled at Egremont,
so we talked kids, showbiz.

I was wise-cracking, he laughed and said, "You're very funny. When I
get my own show, you'll be one of the first on it."

I laughed and said, "Sure ...and when are you getting your own show?"

He said, "Soon, soon."

We had a nice time and I forgot about it. Sure enough, he got The
Tonight Show after Jack Paar left in 1962. He called me and said, "I want
you to come to New York and do the show."

I was flabbergasted-he had kept his word. He was so nice to me.
Every time I had to go to New York, I would do his show. When he came out to California to do two weeks, I would do his first and last show. Then
when he moved to California, I did a lot of his shows. Bobby was on staff
at NBC, so he did The Tonight Show all the time. Of course, Carson would
mention him. But Carson didn't become an angel to me until later on.

Noop was doing very well in her own right too. While she was going
to Egremont, they would have a horseback-riding day. Noop would come
home and say, "The other kids go on Saturday too so they can ride the
horses." Bobby started taking her on Saturdays.

Then it became, "All the kids have their own horse."

I said, "No, no, no. I don't want her jumping and falling and breaking her neck."

Bobby said, "It's not English riding where they jump, this is Western
saddle."

I was against it, but they both paid me no never-mind. That was their
thing together. Both of them got hooked on horses. One Sunday-I'll
never forget it-Bobby came in to the kitchen. They had been out all day
looking at horses. I was making dinner and Bobby backed me up against
the sink and said, "We found the horse."

I said, "No! No! No horses!"

He said, "When you hear the name of the horse, you'll have to give

I said, "What's the name of the horse?"

He smiled and said, "Chubby." Well, Noop was a little chubby, and I
had to smile.

Bobby said, "I'll be with her all the time, so you don't have to worry
and I'll pay all the expenses out of my record dates."

What could I say? They were so happy with finding the horse and it
was really between them, so I said, "Okay."

That's how Noop got started with horses. Through the years, she was
National and Pacific Coast Champion many times. She was president of
the Pacific Coast Horse Shows Association for two years, and is currently
vice president. She was the first woman to be president of the PCHA in its
45-year history. She really got involved with the horses and showing them.
She breeds them, and at the moment she has five. Right now she has one of
the best reining mares in the country, Rona Doc.

I named the ranch. We call it the Residual Ranch. One of her horses
is called Residual Chex, and Rona's daughter is called Rona's Residual. The
daughter of Rona's Residual is called Our Emmy. Noop has won a lot. She has hundreds of ribbons, and she has won everything in silver you can
think of. She loves it and has gotten quite a reputation as a horsewoman.
After all, she started when she was eleven years old.

One day at the studio, Dick Van Dyke came over to me and said his
daughter Stacy wanted to learn to ride and wanted a horse. I said, "Call
Noop, that's her department. I know nothing about the horses." So he
called Noop and she said she'd love to help Stacy get started and there was
the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I guess kids with famous parents
all feel the same way-that people are nice to them to get to their parents.
Noop was like that in the beginning, but she finally got over it. I guess
Stacy was going through the same thing.

So Noop was in her glory. Looking at horses, getting the proper
clothes-it's really very involved. Noop was now handling Stacy because
she could help avoid the mistakes Noop had made with the horses, the
wrong turns, and so on. Noop's trainer was Bill Corey, a real honest-toGod cowboy. He doubled for John Wayne in a lot of early Westerns and
now had a ranch so he could train kids and horses.

Bill had about eight kids in training for horse shows. It was a nice
group that would ride and learn and go to horse shows. Noop took Stacy
under her wing and taught her everything she knew. It was great for Stacy
and wonderful for Noop, who felt like a mother hen. Bill Corey became a
part of our family. He and Bobby became good buddies, and Bobby helped
Bill in more ways than one. I didn't find out until much later that Bobby
bought Bill a truck because he needed one to haul the horses to the shows.

Stacy became one of the group and wasn't treated in any special way,
even though her father was on the number-one television series and was
the costar of Mary Poppins.

That lasted for a few years and at the final award dinner, which Dick
and Marge attended, Marge came over to me and said, "I will never forget
what Noop did for Stacy. I am most grateful to her. Stacy is another person, and it's all thanks to Noop." I was quite proud of my wonderful daughter. I've been very proud of her in many ways. She's a great gal with a great
sense of humor. I never had a bit of trouble with her-no drugs, no booze.
She's someone her father would have been very proud of too.

When Dick and Marge decided to move to Arizona, Marge and Noop
discussed purchasing Stacy's horse Regret. She made a deal with Marge to
purchase the horse and pay it off with payments over time, which she did.
Regret was a wonderful horse and Noop continued to win with him.

Meanwhile, I was a fur nut. I guess I got to love furs when I was doing
the Borscht circuit. All the young girls had fur jackets and I was wearing a
cloth coat. I swore I would have lots and lots of furs one day, because they
made you feel so glamorous. While I was playing Vegas one time, all the
chorus girls in the show told me that a furrier came down once in a while
with furs and gave the girls good prices. So I had to see him! His name was
Harry Ince. I met him and told him about my mania for furs. We talked a
little and he said, "You have to meet my wife-you two will get along
beautifully." I did meet her. Her name was Bernice and we did get along
beautifully. I've always felt like she was my Jewish mother. We had great
times together. Bobby and Harry would bowl on Wednesdays and I'd go to
Bernice's and we would all have a bite to eat when the boys got home. I
wound up with a closet full of furs. I was in my glory. I had two great
friends, Harry and Bernice. They have come to my rescue more than once.
Two more angels-we were very close.

Bobby gave me my first mink stole for my birthday one year-he
had it delivered poolside at the Flamingo in Vegas! But the greatest story
about Harry is this: Dick Van Dyke wanted to buy Marge a sable jacket for
Christmas, so he came to me and said, "I know you have a good furrier. I
want to get Marge something special."

I said, "Great, I'll take you down whenever you want to go."

Now, I had wanted a new mink coat, but I felt that we didn't have the
money to spare for the kind of coat I wanted. I wanted an oversized mink
coat-very, very full with a collar that was almost a jacket in itself. Crazy, I
know, but that's what I wanted. I found out that Bobby was going to buy
me a diamond wristwatch for Christmas-certainly not chopped liver! But
oh, how I would have loved to get that coat.

We went downtown to Harry's Salon-Dick, Bobby and myself. Harry
showed us some beautiful sable jackets. I modeled them for Dick and told
Dick I loved this one or that one. He made his choice, a gorgeous jacket.
They decided to wrap it in a washing-machine carton-a great way to
surprise someone! Then I asked Harry if he had a big, big mink coat. He
said he did, but that it was sold.

I said, "I want to try it on."

He brought out this coat. It was the coat of all time. I tried it on. It
was perfect. Harry said again, "This coat is sold, but I can make one for
you." I said, "No, not now. Maybe later on." So that was that.

Christmas Eve arrived, and we had a big party. All we did was eat and open presents. The usual gang came over. We were opening presents and I
kept passing the little jewelry box from Bobby to me. I knew it was the
diamond watch, and I had to prepare to be surprised-awful, aren't I? I
finally had to open the box. I lifted the lid and there was a card-no watch,
just a card that read, "If you go to your mother's closet, your Christmas gift
is hanging there." Well, you could have knocked me over. I ran to my
mother's closet and there was my mink coat! My mink coat! I started to cry.

I put it on and ran back into the living room. I hugged and kissed
Bobby and he said, "It's paid for."

I said, "How?"

He had been giving Harry one hundred dollars here and there-all
from his record dates. He started paying it off in February and this was
December. I was so excited, I couldn't talk!